In which Tonks assists Harry with some of his exercises, Harry shops in Diagon Alley, and has a bit of excitement, The trip to Hogwarts is detailed and Harry becomes the first sixteen year old the...
- Oh yeah. Might makes right, and the simple diplomatic method made famous by the U.S Marines wins again. "If you don't do things my way, I'll kill you." Simple and effective. Prosperity to Sinanju.
Keep at it. It's occasionally quite ridiculous, but always, always great.
- Harry is tasked only to kill Moldie? I assume that the contract is clear as to job performance. I would say, as Chiun would know from the beginning, Bumbles is a fool and a coward and not to be trusted. I can not believe that Harry allowed himself to be attacked and let them live. Who the hell "carries a message to the enemy?" One kills the enemy before the enemy knows there is a threat. Also, why is Harry so talkative? Since when as being talkative been a Shinanju trait? The lad has been raised since he was 15 months old and would not have these Western weaknesses. I agree, based on the series, Harry is very weak and shows no talent. You had better beef the lad up or Chiun will take him out as a bad experiment.
Thanks for writing. Enjoyed the story. Can't believe that Harry has been very well trained, though.
(#) whatareyouevensaying 2008-11-14 02:30:32 PMSorry to throw in a review that has nothing at all to do with your work, but I noticed that the story summary lists this one as having 4 chapters, even though there are clearly only 2. Just thought I'd bring it to your attention.
(#) BrotherBludgeon 2008-11-14 05:41:37 PMScrew Harry Stu-ing. What I want to know is what you plan on doing afterwards. After what, you might ask? Well, obviously after Harry wipes the floor with Voldemort and the Death Eaters, that's what.
I mean, seriously. Voldemort might be a challenge. Maybe. But no one else in the organization is going to be more insurmountable than your average speed bump unless you super power them as well.
Of course, if you don't plan on suping up the morsmordre crowd, then this story really isn't about any prophecy-related quest at all. Rather, it'd be about a master of the art in the midst of an antiquated and wholly inefficient society that expects him to embrace them as his own.
If that's the case, I'm much more interested in the interactions with the ensemble cast, even as I'm discovering who survived up to this point. Ginny's gone, but what about Sirius? No mention of Pettigrew so far. Was he the one to revive his master? Tonks doesn't seem all that hung up on Remus at this point, does she? What happened to him?
What I would like to see, no question, is Harry's ultimate boudoir sparring partner. That's right. Who else could he possibly reach the elusive Step 32 with but the lovely quarter Veela Fleur Delacoeur?
Then again, a full-blooded Veela could probably take all 52 Steps.
Something to think about.
Fantastic story, though. Really.
Author's response- After Riddle is dead, Harry returns to Sinanju and his training. He's just there for the job.
(#) thesteffis 2008-11-14 08:23:33 PMAbout your Harry Stu comment - I'd say it doesn't matter if you're crossing his character with that of a pre-existing series... he's still a Gary Stu.
Gary Stus come about when the character is one-sided, ridiculously capable, and, more often than not, entirely unrealistic. That seems to fit the mold of this Harry here.
It's an interesting story, if only for the fact that you didn't go the traditional route to creating a Harry Stu (and, Honks is always good), but lessened by the fact that he seems to be a terribly single-faceted character.
Author's response- However, since he is totally in character for the crossover, he is not a Stu, Gary, Harry, Barry or otherwise...
(#) thenewestmarauder 2008-11-15 02:27:35 PMI am loving this story and hopin to see where you're going with his "discussions" with Hermione and his "37 steps" with Tonks. Please continue, it is a truly believable Powerful!Harry, there don't tend to be too many of them.