In which Harry confronts the world famous cusine of Hogwarts, Snape’s past comes to the fore, Susan takes control of her sex life, the Women of Hufflepuff house ask just what was going on with th...
(#) SmacksKiller 2009-01-12 07:26:31 PMAs awesome as usual. Even if I haven't read the Destroyer series, I love the characters that you pulled from them. I found myself wondering how any woman would react to being in a room with Remo and Harry if they both have their 'aura' on ?
- A couple of points....
According to the early Destroyer books, Remo was physically unable to eat anything but plain steamed rice and unseasoned duck or fish. Later in his training, he was able to eat other foods, as his body was able to filter out the "poisons" of things like cheeseburgers and steaks.
Also, if Harry ever gets tired of the physical allure he exudes, he can always try Remo's solution...
As for your story itself...you're doing a good job so far. Chapter length is still too short, in my opinion, but hey, you can't have everything.
Other than one or two minor typos that you missed, and the fact that this shows up as 'Chapter 5' rather than 'Chapter 3' on the list, I'll give you two thumbs up!
Author's response- All that 'turning off the allure' and 'Remo can eat what he wants' stuff came after Warren Murphy left the series, and quite frankly I don't consider them canon, call me a purist, but if it didn't happen in the first 85 books, it isn't canon (to me)
- I saw that 'chapter 5' thing myself. No idea why it's doing that.
- Nice chapter and I have to wonder who's going to be more disconcerted by Harry's approach and behavior, Dumbles or Tommy? From the description in this chapter, I have to wonder if Tommy is posessing Fleur's body and if her spirit is still giving him trouble? Certainly this would help explain why he wants to posess Harry's body. I chuckled over Bella's predicament and I suspect she'll not have long to live. Meanwhile, two contracts for the same job was a nice touch, it shows he's learning his negotiating strategies and not leaping right into things. It should be rather interesting to see how things develop as well as to see which of the Hufflepuff girls want to sample Harry next. Oh, the bit about Neville's gran wanting to start negotiations with Hermione's parents was a nice touch, I noticed that both he and Hermione were against it; I do hope he followed Hermione's advice and promptly told Hannah so her folks could make a move.
Author's response- I suspect that neither is going to be especially happy....
- Yes and yes. Tommy is an unhappy camper just now, especially since he has to contend with knowing that all his Death Eaters want to hump him.
- I'm going to use the canon exchange rate to have Hermione's bride price be an obscene amount of money, just because it's funny...
(#) jabarber69 2009-01-12 09:41:09 PMhey did some idiot really complain about your chapters are too long....hell most of the time the complaints are about chapters being to short, I know cause I've made a few of those myself over the years...
Now then great story, outstanding story in fact...I simple love your stories, but in all honesty right now I wish you would concentrate on this one here and the marriage contract story and get them both done before going back to any of the others....