This is a rewrite of Steampunk Potter.
(#) adrianbdean 2009-08-05 11:27:47 PMI like this story and it's concept, but from reading this and comparing it to the other story I am unsure as to where the rewrite occurred.
Nonetheless, like I said, I like this story and look forward to more updates and hopefully a finished product this time around.
You do need to work on your spelling, grammar, and story formatting because I believe this will diminish the number of people that will read your story.
Because it is a creation of your own views of Victorian England when combined with the Magical World, I don't think you will have to worry about any mistakes dealing with the British gentry and such.
Overall, keep up the good work.
(#) The_Resident 2009-10-16 02:19:57 AMIf you intended to fix spelling and grammar along with the plot/storyline, I am sorry to say you failed. You need and editor to correct your spelling (yours is atrocious) and grammar errors and a beta to make sure your characters are in character and you are actually following the storyline you mapped out (/You did map out the storyline, didn't you?/) and to aid you with geographic references, et. al.
- This does flow a bit smoother and is an enjoyable read; I'm quite enjoying it. It does need a bit of a run through a beta as there are spelling errors as well as the occassional dropped word, forex. "...Hermione Potter, nee." should be "...Hermione Potter, nee Granger.". Still, it's an excellent concept that you're developing nicely and I look forward to more.
- An interesting concept and I look forward to seeing the story develop. But, for a rewrite your spelling and grammar are rather poor.
'cased' should be 'cast'
'trail' should be 'trial'
Those are two of many errors throughout the chapter.