it is really fucking hot in my room rn
I ran home, and cried. That’s all I do anymore. I sleep, fuck and cry.
I couldn’t believe what happened with Brooke, I feel guilty, but honestly, that didn’t bother me half as much as the whole Trohman thing. I honestly, don’t give a single fuck about Joe, at all. I was afraid with what was going to happen with David.
I mean, of course it wasn’t on purpose, at all, but I still broke his trust, which it took such a long time to build. Plus, the picture is supposedly ‘going around’, so there’s no way around it, I’d have to tell him myself. I was supposed to spend the night at his house tonight, I might as well go and tell him then.
I logged onto my computer for the first time a few months; a huge picture of our whole ‘clique’ in a group shot at a show, with Natalie and Paige included, proudly stained my computer’s desktop. I missed those days so much. I felt like I was a part of something important back then, now its just a group of kids that just pretend to like each other. We all keep secrets, and we all live our lives in dirty, dirty sin. I don’t think any of us are genuinely happy anymore. The only thing we used to have was our reputations, and even now, its starting to mean less and less to me. I went through all the pictures from our years in high school. In freshman year, when we all looked like confused emo kids who had too much self esteem for them own good. Then sophomore year, we all looked like scene bitches who just did not even give a fuck about the world. This year, I don’t know, I felt like everybody found themselves, still keeping that sense of ‘I’m going to be who I am and not let you effect me’. We aren’t evil. Or at least, we aren’t all evil. We know what we want, and aren’t nice about it. We have a purpose in life whether it be to fuck shit up or change humanity. We just all got side tracked along the way and did what we wanted no matter what the cost was.
I drifted away to sleep, being hung over and mind fucked weren’t exactly the most energy boosting experiences.
There were two cars in the middle of the road, bumper to bumper in a huge wreck. Windshields were torn apart, airbags were in use and a small fire started to produce from under one of the hoods. The people in the burgundy car managed to flee their car. Unfortunately for the other car, one person managed to pull themselves out of the smoke. The other person, stayed trapped in the car, unconscious. The police rushed dow-
My cat jumped on my stomach, scaring the living crap out of me.
Okay, I so tired of these nightmares killing my buzz.
What am I supposed to even do?! I don’t understand at all why this happens to me! I can’t do anything about a car crash! Is it my responsibility to stop them, is that why I get them? It’s not my fucking fault that people treat their lives as poorly as they do, that they’re in the wrong place at the wrong time. I shouldn’t be the one held responsible for saving these people! I’ve got enough problems as is, I don’t need this bullshit. If its going to happen, let it happen. People can make their own choices.
My clock read 4 o’clock. It was probably time for me to go and confront David about my self. I grabbed a pair of pajama pants and my toothbrush… you know, just incase I chickened out and actually did spend the night.
I drove over to Dave’s; the longest drive of my pathetic life.
I look slow and subtle footsteps to his doorstep, imagining the number of things that could happen tonight.
I faintly knocked on his door, half of me hoping he wouldn’t answer.
But of course he did, with a slopping idiotic smile on his face. He bent down to my left, and gave me a warm tender kiss. I did nothing but kiss him back, trying to hide my hesitation. He pulled away, a dramatic frowny face hung upon his features.
“What’s wrong Carebear?” He asked, wrapping his arms around my waist. Oh my god was this going to be hard. Pulling out the nick names and what not. (QUICK INTERUPTION FROM THE STORY. CARO, CAN I START CALLING YOU CARE BEAR? PLEASE?).
“Ehm, nothing. Did you hear about Baker?” I lied, hoping to buy me some time.
“Yeah, I did. I feel bad for the family. Not for her though. She was a bitch. I’m glad she’s rotting in hell.” David chuckled, I’m not sure whether he was kidding or not.
“Dave, that’s terrible.” I said, looking up at him with none intentional puppy eyes.
“Hey, I’m kidding. I would never say anything like that. Baby, what’s wrong?” He asked, pulling his arms away from my waist, pushing my hair away from my face.
“David,” my voice cracked, making things so much more dramatic, “I have something I have to tell you.”
“Um, do you wanna go inside first?” He said, looking concerned for me.
I nodded, pulling him inside, to sit on his couch.
“David, I’m-“ I started, ready to get this shit over with.
“WAIT, YOU’RE NOT PREGNANT ARE YOU?!” He yelled, standing up, running his hands through his hair.
“Wait! What, no! I am not pregnant, sit down.” I demanded, well I guess that made it easier to tell him now…. Considering he thought it was going to be a lot worse than it actually was
“Well, um, ehm, last night, I,” Before I knew it tears were running down my cheek.
“Baby, what’s wrong, are you alright?” He wrapped his arms around me, trying to comfort me. Why is this so much more difficult than what it needs to be?
“David, please just let me tell you that I love you so much, so, so, so much, and please don’t be angry with me.” I said, my voice uneven.
“Yeah, I promise, what is it?” He said eagerly, rubbing my back.
“Well last night, I went to this party and I was just so stressed out about everything and I got roofide and then drank more booze and things just got so hectic, and I slept with Trohman.” I spat out, sobs ripping from my chest. Things really didn’t have to be this dramatic.
I looked up at David, his face was blank.
He untangled himself from me, and put his head between his knees.
“Caro, Caro, Caro.” He mumbled, rubbing his temples.
“David, I am so sorry, you know I wouldn’t do anything like that intentionally ever, I just, I knew I had to tell you, and I totally understand if you dump me and all, but just please know that I want to be with you and I love you and I’m a complete idiot and life ruiner and an all around terrible person and I just cannot even.” I rambled, barely audible between my hiccups and sniffling.
He sighed, and got up and left the room. I started crying even harder- until I saw him come back in with a box of tissues. Alrighty then. He handed them to me, holding my disgusting wet hand.
“I’m really disappointed in you.” He quietly said, this thumb running circles on my knee.
I nodded, slowly calming down, wiping the tears from my eyes.
“I forgive you though.” He said, looking into my eyes with genuine sincerity.
“Really?” I sniffled, looking up at him.
“Well yeah. Obviously it hurts you just as much as it hurts me. Us breaking up would just kill both of us, and none of us want to be mad, we’re mature enough to forgive and try to forget.” David’s soothing voice and forgiving self reminded me of why I loved him and hated myself. He doesn’t even know half the story between William and me.
I looked up at him, and squeezed his hand, “I love you so much. Thank you.”
He lowered his neck to my level and kissed my nose.
“I love you so much more though.”
That night we talked and talked about everything.
I was never that kid, to have a bunch of girl best friends to sit around at sleepovers and talk about life at four in the morning. I never felt so close to somebody. Dave really was my best friend, he’s really the only person I have.
There was no sex, no fucking, no making love, nothing involved my wide set vagina. We just kissed like it meant something. We kissed to make up. We kissed to show our affection. We kissed to promise ourselves that we were the only ones for each other.
We fell asleep in his bed, fully clothed, with his arms around me, like a happy couple should.
I dreamed happy dreams. I dreamed peaceful dreams. I dreamed of love.
I was awoken by a frantic David.
“Caro, wake up, we have to go.” He said, slipping on his shoes, grabbing his car keys.
I jumped out of bed, following him out the door and into his car. We pulled out of his driveway when I realized I had no idea where the hell we were going.
“David. Where are we going?” I asked bluntly.
“Gabe got into a car crash.” Dave whispered through his barely open lips.
I knew what that meant. There’s still time though. We have time to save him.
We rode over to the corner of Main and Norwood, where there was huge traffic do to a crash.
I got out of the car, and ran to the crash. There was a family over by the paramedics, totally fine, but shooken up. I looked around and found William Beckett in the ambulance, bleeding from the head, barely conscious, but alive. I ran over to him, more worried than I’ve ever been in my life.
“William, are you okay?!” I asked, scared to hug him or to even touch him.
“Yeah, I’m fine, its just Gabe. They don’t know if he’s going to make it. They rushed him over to the hospital a block away.” William slowly said, looking as torn up as I’ve ever seen him before.
“I will, but one question before I leave. Where were you guys going?” I asked quickly.
“Gabe was going to go over to Pete’s house to ‘show him a lesson’. Apparently they weren’t getting along a lot lately and he kept going off about how Natalie should have been alive and he should have been where she is.” He explained, my heart breaking ONCE AGAIN.
I nodded, grabbing David and rushing over to the ER.
We busted open to Gabe’s room, where he was barely breathing (OH LOOK ITS THE SCRIPT AGAIN). His whole body was pale and black bruises covered his body.
“Gabe!” I rushed over to his bed side, holding onto his hand.
“Hi princess.” Gabriel softly hummed.
I felt Dave’s hand on my shoulder, to only add to the dramatic sentimental moment.
“How are you feeling?” I asked, hoping for a good answer.
“This is my time, Caro. I can’t stand to be here anymore. I’ve stopped fighting. The doctors said I have a couple more days of living unless they make my mom pay $50,000 for this fancy ass neurosurgery. I don’t want to do that to her. We don’t have that money, I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t have anymore life left in me. I can’t do this.” Gabriel whispered, I saw the tears gathering in his eyes. I felt a hot tear run down the side of my cheek. If I had a dollar for every time I cried…
“Gabe, you have a purpose. Please, just stay here. For me.” I begged, squeezing his hand.
“No, I can’t. Believe me, its what I want. I just want to live with my angel. I don’t want to be without her, Caro, Natalie is the only thing I stuck around for, and I promised her I’d follow where ever she went, and if its to the depths of hell, so fucking be it.” Gabe spoke, losing his breath every single word he spoke.
“Okay, Gabe.” I said, leaning down and kissing his forehead.
“One last thing, Caro.” He whispered, it sounded like it killed him. I nodded.
“Do I look presentable?” He smiled, a wet tear rolling off of his face.
“Oh course you do, what kind of question is that?” I smiled back, I heard David’s sniffles in the back ground.
“Well, I’m seeing my girlfriend in a couple of minutes so…” He chuckled, his charm radiating.
“I love you, Gabriel.” I whispered, squeezing his hand.
“Hey, take care of her for me, will ya? She’s a wreck.” Gabe said to David, his breaths numbered.
“Will do.” David chuckled, rubbing my back.
“I’ll tell her you said hi. Send my love to the dance floor.” Gabe smiled his last smile, and within minutes, his heart monitor stopped beeping.
I sobbed against David’s chest, as both our hearts broke together.
We live and we die for love.
This is how it was supposed to be.
I TOTALLY RUINED THAT TENDER MOMENT WITH THAT SONG PUN
this chapter was for natalie
because she wouldn't stop bitching about gabe
Honestly, these past few chapters have sucked ass
It is currently 5:18
I will do my best to edit
Loljk this shit is too long
I’m not rereading it
If I don’t make sense you better deal with it
Me and my little brother are watching mouse trap youtube videos
All this writing is sucking the creativity out of my
I love you tho