I couldn't answer his question. I didn't know if everything was going to be okay like I used to say it was. I didn't want to get anybodies hopes up. That would be unfair. I mean God only knows what could happen from now. I simply shrugged half-hoping he saw it and half-hoping he didn't. But it was the truth. Nobody could know.
Gerard just stared down at his lap for the whole journey to mine while Mikey was still unconciouss in the back.
"Should we take him to the hospital?" I ask and Gerard looks slightly startled from probably his own world of thoughts.
"No. He hates them with a vengeance. It reminds him of when he was younger and I would have to bring him to hospital for a broken arm or something and... It's just not a good idea."
I should have thought of that. Nobody could imagine what goes through his mind when he's in a place like that.
When we arrive at my house, I see my mom is home and really I'm quite happy. She can help maybe! We take Mikey in, in our arms and place him gently on the couch in the sitting room. We sit with him in silence until my mom comes in a little surprised when she sees Gerard and I home but then horrified when she see Mikey's state.
"Oh, hello bo- Oh my gosh. Who is this? What happened to him?" My mother bursts out, not in rage but in worry and care.
"This is Mikey, Gerard's brother and he got a beaten up today. That's why we're home early."
"Oh the poor boy. Will I get out some plasters and anti septic?" She asks beginning to fluster around.
I nod but while thinking its gonna take alot more than some cream and plasters to fix this kid.
Gerard stays quiet the whole time just holding onto Mikey's hand and whispering small things I can barely make out. My mom rushes back in with a first aid kit and takes out what she needs. I watch her as she gently wraps bandages around Mikey's arms where Aaron had previously inflicted glass into it, and then how she very delicately and lightly put cream on the cuts on his face. That's why I loved my mom. She understood these things and was willing to help anyone. I guess that's where I got it from.
For about twenty minutes Gerard and I talk about what happened. I can see that Gerard feels ashamed of himself and probably wishes he was there for Mikey all the time.
"Gerard, you know this isn't your fault right?" I see the reluctance in his eyes to believe me but he just agrees anyway.
"I know Frank. I just wish I could do something. I just feel so helpless, that he's gone now and I can't do anything but watch him live repeats of each horrendous day. It breaks my heart to see him cry everytime." He says finishing off with a sniffle.
Really, I feel the same. Seeing Mikey get hurt each day, he must feel so excluded from his brother who needs his help whether he wants it or not.
We hear a soft groan come from the pile of broken bones and skin on the couch. We wait for him to move. He rolls over, stopping when he is lying on his hip as its too sore to go any further. His eyes flutter open and then they almost pop when he can't register where he is. Gerard grab his hand again letting him know he is safe. Mikey sits up slowly wincing as his bones crack and his wounds tear open even more.
"It's okay Mikey just stay still and relax." Gerard says trying to reassure him.
"G-Gerard... w-where are we?" He asks urgently stumbling across his words.
"Your in my house Mikey. It's okay. Your fine." I answer and watch as he looks over to me in surprise. He didn't see me at the beginning.
"What happened?" he asks desperately wanting to know what had happened.
"You just took a few blows from Aaron. He bet you up fairly bad. But you're okay." Gerard informs him, while fixing his cushion in place and covering his freezing body with blankets.
Mikey's face just emptied itself. Colour drained. Furrowed eyebrows dropped and his eyes darted to the floor and fixated on one place on the ground.
"Do you want something to eat or drink?" I try to at least encourage him to eat something after seeing numerous of non-broken bones through his sickly pale skin. He needed something.
But he just shakes his head like I had expected.
"Please Mikey. C'mon. A glass of water even?" Gerard tries to help too but receives nothing from him. Despite of this, I stand up to get a glass of water. I bring it in and put it on the coffee table beside him.
"Please talk to us kiddo. We want to help." Gerard pleads him to say something.
Mikey stares at me for a second then back to Gerard and then the ground. He's still thinking of the kiss I bet.
A few minutes silence wash over us trying to clear our minds until...
"Why am I so pathetic?!" Mikey's sudden outburst takes both of us by surprise and we jump at the harshness of his voice, showing the quick flip of his state of mind resulting from his bi-polar disorder of course. Something nobody can blame on somebody or cure.
"Mikey, you're not pathetic. Far from it. Im telling you, if you could just see how strong you are to go to school and-" Gerard is cut off by another outburst.
"Please don't lie to me Gee, I'm not strong. Most kids can actually stay in school without ending up with blood pouring out from somewhere, they can resist themselves from suicidle thoughts."
"Mike-" Gerard tries to stop him.
"They can actually make friends. And not act like social retards like me."
"Most kids can actually find someone who loves them-"
"Mikey. Just stop please!" Gerard shouts and Mikey is dead quiet. When Mikey said that last thing my heart fell harder than ever. He must think I don't actually love him. He doesn't believe me. He thinks it's impossible.
"Look Mikes, I don't know when you are finally going to realise it but all of 'those' kids have faults as well. All of those kids beat you up for no reason. They think it's alright to take the piss out of someone just to look cool. Most of those kids end up with one night stands for the rest of their life. And you've got two people who love you very much and I can't make it any clearer." Gerard sounds exasperated when he finishes. Mikey looks at him with tears in his eyes and perhaps looks even half convinced. Gerard hugs him tight whispering words of comfort and reassurance to him and I see Mikey's face relax a little bit more and he returns the hug. Gerard is the greatest brother in the world. Really, I mean to be able to make your younger, distraught, bullied brother relax during quite a tough time, you must be a saint then! And Mikey is real lucky to have him. If he could just see that he deserves him. Gerard pulls back from Mikey and wipes away a few tears from Mikey's face. Then he stands up and asks can they stay the night. I agree no doubt and tell him where my room is. I notice it's already 9 o clock. I'm sure this is early for Gerard but he says he's going to sleep anyway. But I know he is just giving Mikey and I some time. I'm sure he is tired though after everything.
Mikey watches Gerard leave still speechless from Gerard's words and still trying to take them in. I kneel down in front of Mikey looking straight into his eyes.
"Sorry" he mumbles. Just like the first time I met him. Is anything improving at all really?
"I don't want to know what for so just know that you have nothing to apologise." I explain to him.
"but Mikey when you said about no one wanting to love you, why do you think I kissed you?" I watch Mikey blush and look down.
"You said you didn't mean it." He say very quietly.
"Only because I thought you didn't mean it." He looks up shocked looking, unable to believe what I'm saying.
"Mikey, I DO love you and when I kissed you, it felt right for me but I didn't know about you."
"I liked it." he says sheepishly, a small, lobsided grin curly up on his face.
"You should smile more often." I say and watch the small grin transform into a genuine smile and his cheeks blush a dark red mixing with the dried blood stains on his face, something I try to ignore as I lean in closer and closer until I feel the unforgettable lips of Mikey Way. The kiss isnt anything really but it means a lot to both of us.
"Why don't we get some sleep?" I suggest and he nods quickly. And do we go upstairs to my room and enter it to find Gerard asleep on some pillows and duvets spread out for Mikey too. I climb into my bed after changing in my bathroom and Mikey comes in from the bathroom in the hall in his grey tank top and boxers. He collapses down into the pile of cushions and blankets. We all fall asleep soundly.
I woke up in the middle of the night to see Mikey fidgeting and restlessly turning around in the duvet. I sit up to show him that I'm awake.
"Hey. Why don't you sleep up here?" blushing myself as I say it but it's too dark to see. I can see the outline of Mikey's head nod and he climbs up quietly not to waken Gerard.
"You okay, Sweet heart?" the name escaping my lips without thought.
He bites his lip and just nods.
"What is it?" I ask again.
"I-I just... I had a bad dream. But I'm okay." He whispers. I frown at hearing it but he's in my arms now and he is safe. I feel him cuddle into me and I just think how easy it became for him to trust me. He just needed some love. The different kind of love that Gerard drowns him in. I guess it wasn't enough. But now we're all in this together and well... We're all happy now.
So that's that. I'm not sure what to think of it. But I hope it's okay. It isn't over yet. Perhaps another chapter or two maybe? Also I'm really sorry for my disgraceful use of commas and things. Im sick of pressing shift!