My wish list goes to hell.
"You forgot our appointment with Mr. Reilly?", he tugged the covers off me like Ray used to do when he was home and I was still in school.
I really missed all of them, Frankie said they're gonna come home next month for a few days, I'd have to talk to Billy about it. I mean I know he has no where to go but I doubt they'll welcome his stay here, I mean I doubt they'll believe me he's keeping me from starving, and I don't know how's it gonna work out with Gerard's things here, I stopped having meltdowns over his stuff a few weeks ago.
Before I cried like a crazy person every time I laid my eyes on some of his stuff, now I don't do it as often.
But I dunno, will he move out? I mean I was here first...
"You have 30 minutes to dress, and wash yourself. Breakfast and coffee are in the kitchen. Now up", Billy commanded as he picked my shit off the floor.
The first 10 minutes I just lay in bed, thinking how I can't do it and cried but then I recalled the dream with the girl, I gotta give Gerard at least his freedom if I couldn't give him happiness.
I dragged my depressed ass out of the bed and half heartedly washed my face, brushed my teeth, dressed, brushed my hair and went to the kitchen.
Billy gave me 20 minutes to eat my pancakes and drink my coffee, he kept telling me how I can do it and how nice Mr. Reilly is and how he remembers him growing up and he always had candy for him and how great my life would be once I get this over with.
I was torn, on one hand I wanted him to shut up and let me dwell in my misery but on other hand his rambling allowed me to escape my own miserable thoughts, and we all know how good I am in running away.
About an hour later we were sitting in a posh Manhattan office, on the 16th floor of some kick ass tall building with soft carpets and painting and important looking people.
I felt sick, I felt sicker then sick and kept glancing at the carpet I'm gonna throw up on but my legs won't carry me to a toilet.
I told Billy I can't afford it but he told me not to worry about it.
Some blond girl with humongous breasts told us Mr. Reilly is ready for us...I wonder who of the girls in the world would make Gerard happy...It could be even this very blond...I felt a little twinge of wanting to kill her flow through my veins.
She let us in to a big office with faint blue walls and faint blue carpet and pastel blue furniture, now this dude has some kinda blue fetish.
But holy fuck it was Santa clause sitting in his (blue) arm chair behind his wooden (I gasped when I realized it wasn't blue) table...I swear he's a fucking Santa clause with the white beard and the glasses and reddish face and he was smiling!
A lawyer. Smiling.
Maybe I died and went what to the blue Santa kingdom?!
He even had a red tie, I was waiting to see him whip his red Santa hat but instead he charged at Billy, hugging him and kissing him and calling him my boy.
I checked my pulse.
After what seemed like forever Billy managed to get Santa back to act more like his day job which is being a lawyer.
He settled behind his desk, beaming like a nut at Billy. Maybe he's a nut...
So anyway, after asking about his mom and dad and step parents and Spencer and auntie Meg and Lynn and Jumpy, Billy's dog when he was 7 (RIP by the way) and Lucy (I don't know who the fuck she was) and Ben and Linda, Santa finally directed his insane grin to me, "What can I do for you, sweetie?".
Should I like present my wish list? OK so here goes:
1. I want Gerard back.
2. I want Gerard to forgive me for everything I've done.
3. I want to turn back time.
4. I want Gerard clean.
5. I want Gerard happy.
6. I want Gerard. Period.
7. I want Gerard.
8. I want Gerard.
9. I want Gerard.
10. I want Gerard.
11. I want Gerard.
12. I want Gerard
113. I want Gerard.
100089. I still want Gerard.
100090. I want this really neat new camera.
"Skyler?", Billy nudged me and rolled his eyes when I looked at him completely disoriented, "She wants to divorce her husband".
"Oh I'm sorry", Santa gave me this real pitiful look. What the fuck? I don't want his sorry, I want my wish list coming true!.
He pressed something on his keyboard, "So how long were you married, Skyler?".
"9 months", I gulped, I was cross with his lame making wishes come true ability.
He hummed and typed something on his computer in super speed, "What's the name of the husband?".
"Gerard Way", I muttered, slouching in my chair as far as I could without sliding to the floor, I had to remind myself I was doing this for him.
"What's the reason of the divorce?", he smiled to his screen.
I looked at Billy who nodded like I should go on, I didn't know if I could tell Santa this, but then again Gerard was pretty vocal about his drug abuse in the papers lately, funny he didn't mention the coke, probably Bruce's orders, "Drug abuse".
"His?", Santa glanced at me like he was expecting me to pull out my accessories and sniff coke right here, right now.
"You've got a prenup?", he looked at me over his glasses.
"No", I exclaimed, I'm not a fucking gold digger...And besides Gerard wasn't rich, or was he? We never talked about it...How much a vocalist earns nowadays?Ooh but what if Gerard's pure girl would be a gold digger?...No, no way, she'll be pure and innocent, pretty flower girl but I kinda hate her already.
"Can I see your license?", Santa was multi tasking now, typing and beaming at Billy.
Well that was weird, he doesn't believe that I'm who I say I am?
I rummaged my bag for my driving license, I used to not carry it around since I drive like once in a millennium but Ray threw a hissy fit about it and swore to sew it on me so now I never leave home without it.
I handed it to the very confused Santa, he chuckled a little, "What is it, Skyler?".
"Um my license", I cocked my eyebrows.
"And why are you giving to me?", he kinda chuckled and snuck a look at Billy.
Is Santa on crack? Cause I'm sure Gerard would get him some, "Because you asked for my license".
"Oh no", he laughed.
I was surprised to hear him laugh like a normal person and not his usual ho-ho, he handed me back my license, "I meant your marriage license".
My eyes popped, marriage license? There's a marriage license?, "Um what marriage license?".
Santa abandoned his computer and kinda turned to stare at me full time, "Your marriage license"
I blushed under his intense stare, I looked at Billy but he was staring at me too, "You did get the marriage license".
I felt stupid, everyone knew about this marriage license thing but me, I felt the urge to pout.
"What fucking marriage license?", I cried out, I kinda clasped my hand over my mouth after realising I cursed in front of Santa.
"The one you have to get to get married!", Billy exclaimed, outraged.
"We didn't get anything before we got married", I exclaimed back.
"Perhaps your husband has it?", Santa suggested in a calm tone.
"Um no", I told him, "I was with him all the time before and after the wedding".
"Are there any witnesses?", Santa typed some more into his computer.
"No", I was relieved he took his eyes off me, "Just the priest", I snatched my driving license off the table and stuck it back into my bag.
Santa frowned, "Just the priest? Exactly what kind of wedding that was?"
"After the bar we went to this little church and got married", I shrugged.
"After the bar?", Santa nodded, "I see", he scratched his nose, "Mrs. Way were you or your husband intoxicated during the ceremony?".
"Intoxicated?", I repeated.
Well yeah, to say the least, I thought I was crying with booze for fucks sake.
"Yes, were you drinking that night? Or doing drugs?"
"I know what intoxinated means", I snapped, "And I don't do drugs".
"So were you?", he leaned back in his chair, lacing his finger and resting his chin on them.
"I see", he sighed, "I'm afraid your marriage to Mr. Way isn't valid"
"Isn't valid?", I muttered, dumbstruck.
"That's right. You don't have a marriage license or witnesses", he nodded along.
"What about the priest?", I felt so weak, so fragile.
"Honestly I don't know why he didn't tell you that unless you have a marriage license it doesn't work", he told me with a smile.
"So my marriage is invalid?", I repeated.
"That's right", he nodded again.
How can my marriage be invalid? My feeling for Gerard are invalid too? Or just the marriage? Tears welled in my eyes for what felt like the 48398493849th time today, I stood up and stormed out of the office. Invalid?? Fucking shit!
I waited until Billy came out of the office and followed him to the car, "What the fuck, Skyler?".
"He said my love for Gerard was invalid!", I wiped my tears with my sleeve.
"He said that legally your marriage invalid not your love", Billy rolled his eyes, "I mean what the fuck, no license, no witnesses".
I bet Mikey knew you gotta have a licence before you get married but we kept it a secret for so long, I guess nobody suspected we'd be that stupid to not know you gotta have a marriage license.
I wonder if Gerard knew...Maybe it was his little plot to marry and not marry me at the same time...
Gah I'm awful! How could I think it? He had so much love in his eyes that day, even though he was wasted...
"But it's a good thing right?", Billy hopped into the drivers seat, "You don't have to deal with the paper work".
I clenched my jaw, that fucking priest, there's a reason I don't go to church.