(#) Geovanni_Luciano 2008-05-09OK, I like the ending, however, I think that perhaps I might have skipped over a bit or you didn't take the opportunity to properly put Tonks in her place. Last I remember was a conversation between her and her mum about consequences for her actions. I think that it should have been a bit more Harsh. Secondly, the bit between Neville and Pansy, while good could have been better if you had put forth a bit more effort in writing a proper interaction between her and Tom in regards to the message that she delivered.
Maybe I'm just a bit upset because it's over and that it could have been longer. I believe that when writing a book about the suffering of others that you go to great detail to describe it. I do like it. I will add it to my favorites on FFN and continue to read and expect great things from you.
(#) whatareyouevensaying 2008-05-11Brilliant conclusion, though having Voldemort swear that fealty oath (even with what he thought it was) was a stretch.
Author's responseHey, Tommy was just starting out and needed seed money. I telegraphed that he had gotten assistance from Orion Black back in Chapter 12, and seriously do you see any of the Blacks doing something for nothing? (well maybe Sirius if he thought it was funny)
(#) GryffindorDragon 2008-05-12Lovely end. But Pansy should have been left to Neville. I would have loved to see her flayed. Creative way to end Voldie, but I think you should've stopped with the Deaters losing their magic -- a far greater punishment for them to be forced to live as the Muggles they hate so much. And Dumblie's end was pretty good, too. Though it was too much for it to take so many to defeat. Harry should've been able to do it himself. But then we would've missed Hermione's neat trick.
Very good story. It moved right along without dragging in any place and had a rather satisfying ending. Now you need to get to finishing some of your other stories -- too many in progress. ;)
- I love the way you took them both down, the fealty oath was original and brilliant, and in some ways a perfect screw you to Riddle and his dark mark. As far as Dumbledore, it's always the simple things that tend to get you and he had a tendency to overlook women.
The confrontation with McGonagall was great, and long over due. As much as I enjoyed cannon HP there is much that was wrong with it and the adults in the school is a major one.
Author's response- Believe it or not, I came up with Riddle's defeat about a year ago after reading about half a bazillion fic with monumental battles that I knew I could never match. (the closest I came was the 'lets blow them up real good' ending of _The Power He Has Not_ which, lets face it, wasn't really a battle.) I asked myself if I could come up with a none battle way of disposing of Tommy and I read some fic somewhere that introduced me to the concept of Fealty Oaths, and the consequences of violating them... Turned out ok, but a lot of people didn't like it.
- With Dumbles, I knew I was up against a guy with a buttload of raw power and more than a century more experience than Harry could ever match, even with Neville (and Filius) helping... So I figured, why not cheat? I liked the idea of modifying a charm that is in common usage to an unusual use... and who better to do said innovative charm modification than Hermione? Besides, how many Wizards in the Victorian culture of the BWS would even recognize CO2 poisoning?
- I agree that much of the crap that went on at that school in canon would have been stopped almost instantly with a little competent adult supervision...
- Not all the encouragement was strictly legal; to suggest that old scores were settled would be somewhat optimistic.
Err, shouldn't that be "were not settled" instead of "were settled"? I think you're trying to imply that it would be optomistic to hope that such wasn't done.
(#) alchemist1806 2008-05-23Hmmm...nice story as a whole. Some of the desciptions were lacking I thought but I enjoyed the story nonetheless.
I was also a bit disappointed with Dumbledore's end which was anticlimatic but I guess that in itself would have been just punishment for the character.
To end, 12 children for Harry and Daphne? you perv (/grin/)
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