Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Bet You Ten Bucks I Can Make You Regret Her
I know the title and the summary sucks but what more do you want from me? Im only a human being!! lol.
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All it took.
All it took were eight swings.
All it took were two bodies falling.
All it took were two pools of congealing blood to mix together to form one big lake.
All it took were the frozen look on their bloody, bruised faces.
All it took was a year.
All it took was a month.
All it take was my jealousy,
And my rage,
And I guess you can say my upper-body strength.
That's all it took for me.
I count how many.
Nine.
I decide to get technical.
8 swings+ 2 bodies+ (2 pools of blood ÷ 2= 1 lake of blood)+ 2 frozen looks on bloody, bruised faces+ 1 year (Note: 365 days, 52 weeks, 12 months)+ 1 month (Note: in this case 31 days, 44,640 minutes, 744 hours)+ jealousy+ rage+ upper-body strength (which surprised me because I thought I had none)= 18 factors.
18.
Well I must say though, if anything dragging her fat ass up the stairs was the hardest. He was okay. All the blood made him soaking wet so he just glided up the steps.
After their bodies were settled at the foot of the stairs, I separated them. Him in my bedroom, her in the guest bedroom. 'Cus I mean, we can't have them together so they can deviate a plan to escape can we? Seeing as this was preplanned, I already had new, shiny, and really big locks going up and down every door, window, or any other entrance or exit, all controlled by different keys. I put different colors of nail polish on the locks and their corresponding keys so it would be easier for me. Another thing I did beforehand is remove all the furniture from the rooms. Mattresses, dressers, television sets, mirrors and other things of that nature now clutter my garage. Now looking back, those U-Haul people ripped me off. There's no way in hell that all of that costs $550. But then again I can't really complain. They were nice enough to move it to my garage instead of a storage and dumb enough to believe my whole "I'm doing construction work in these two rooms" crap.
So here I am now.
Sitting on my tush, leaning up against my linen closet.
To my left the guest bedroom, to my right mine.
xOh good, you're done ranting. It gets annoying sometimes, you know.
I DID IT!!
xYes you did, good job! So far there isn't a thing you did wrong.
Really?
xYep. You cleaned up downstairs, gave all the neighbors a bullshit story fro the noise, and disposed of that bitch's cheap ass car. Everything's perfect.
A smug smile finds its way across my face.
xWhy don't you check on your guests?
Finally, some fun. I've been on my doing nothing but business for 5 hours and been sitting on my ass for 3 hours.
I count the hours.
Eight.
I get technical.
11:00, the deed is done. 11:00-11:20, asses the situation. 11:20-11:30, drag them to the foot of the stairs. 11:30-11:45 put them in rooms and lock 20 different locks with 20 different keys on each door (making 40 locks and 40 keys). 11:45-12:30, go downstairs and clean everything my guests have touched in the past couple of hours. 12:30-12:35, change clothes. 12:35-12:38, curse myself for locking 40 locks before fishing out the items from 8 different pockets (two pockets in the front, two in the back= 4 pockets x 2 people= 8 pockets). 12:38-12:40, grab two Ziploc bags from the pantry and head upstairs. 12:40-1:00, unlock 40 locks, clean out pockets, pat them down, pat them down again, put items in separate Ziploc bags, lock 40 locks, go downstairs. 1:00-1:02, grab her keys and go in her car. 1:02-1:30, drive car to dump. 1:30-1:33, persuade hobo to open the gate to the dump. 1:33-1:40, find an appropriate spot and get out of car. 1:40-2:00, find a gasoline tank in the dump and search for lighter long abandoned in pants. 2:00-2:35, bathe car in gasoline and set on fire. 2:35-3:15, watch the car burn to ashes while laughing wildly. 3:15-3:20, leave dump and say bye to hobo. 3:20-3:25, curse myself for not thinking about how I'll be getting back home. 3:25-4:00, run home (mind you I have to cross two of the busiest intersections in my state and travel along a highway). 4:00-4:10, stumble upstairs and collapse in front of the linen closet. 4:10-7:00, stay there.
xWow.
I get up and stretch, cracking bones as I move. First, I unlock the first 20 locks to her room. I see her huddled in a corner, unmoving. She hasn't woken up seeing as she's in the same position she was in when I dropped her there but just to make sure I enter the room and poke her with my foot.
Nothing.
Perfect.
I leave and go to the other guest room near hers and grab a bag. I come back and kneel next to her and pull out a roll of duct tape.
I start by rolling her over on her stomach and begin to tape her hands behind her back. In this position I can get a perfect view of the effects of her present on the back of her head.
I chuckle and retch at the same time.
After her legs are taped up I decide to make the most of this opportunity.
Wake up call!
I pull out of my bag a knife with a long, shiny blade.
Flipping her over on her stomach and grab her index finger.
Bet you know what I'm gonna do!
I place the blade against the tip of it and first start adding more and more pressure until more and more blood spurts from the wound. Hitting the bone I drag the blade across her finger, once again, more pressure and faster movements with every strokes.
A scream is sounded from her lips, somewhat similar to that of an opera singer.
I keep going and don't stop until the tip of her index finger is next to her and she starts a new pool of blood.
"Good morning, Aymi!"
"AAHHH!!"
I roughly grab her hair and jerk it, kinda hoping to break her neck in the process.
"That's not how you greet someone. Say 'good morning Ryan'." I say in her ear.
"GOOD MORNING....RYAN!"
"See it wasn't that hard. Loud, but not that hard."
"So how is your morning so far. Mine is perfect. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, the blood is leaking, the bones are breaking."
She replies with a cry. Sort of like a mix of fear and pain.
I respond by grabbing the middle finger on her other hand and sawing it off.
"I said, how is your fucking morning!"
"FINE!"
"Screaming again are we? Man, do you have a pair of lungs on you."
I put the knife and the roll of duct tape back in the bag and get up.
"I'm gonna leave now would you like anything?"
"AAHHH!"
"That's not an item, sweetie."
"AAAHHH!"
"Hey, scream all you want, but mind you these rooms are soundproof. Have been for a couple of months."
That shut her up.
I leave and close the door behind me. I lock the door and start on his door.
Nervous and fumbling I enter and turn key after key.
After what seemed like an eternity I was done.
I run to him and kneel at his side.
Even with bruises, swollen areas, and dried blood he still looked adorable.
And he still made my stomach do flips.
I sit and stare at him.
Admiring him as if it were two years ago when...
He coughs loudly, making me jump across the room.
He coughs again and again.
Then he hiccups.
That is so random.
I move closer to him, sitting crisscross-apple sauce with my head in my hands.
Then he opens his purple eyes and locks with gaze with mine.
What the fuck do I do now?!
xTalk to him.
I don't want to!
xYou have to. Make him understand why he's here and why you did this to him.
But I barely know myself.
xOh you don't? Does last night's events ring any bells? Does the years events ring any bells?
..Yeah.
xThen this should be easy.
Okay.
xAnd Ryan,
Yeah?
xDon't hold anything back.
"Ryan?"
His voice. It's not like the one I'm used to. The smooth one that made my heart skip beats and caused me to start to sweat. It's different.
I don't like this different.
"Ryan?"
"Yes, Brendon."
Oh, so long it's been.
"What happened?"
"What do you remember?"
"You.... present...."
"Do you want me to tell you?"
He nods his head as the pain from his movements show on his face.
"I hit you and Aymi over the head with a shovel."
No answer.
"Do you know why?"
No answer.
"Well actually there was a change in plans."
No answer.
"It was only supposed to be Aymi, but what you did. A bachelor party? I mean really? But I'm not mad at you anymore. I don't hate you."
"Then.. Why?"
"I'm just going to teach you a lesson.
"Ay....Mi?"
"You don't need to worry about her anymore because quite frankly she's the one who landed you here. Her cruelness must have rubbed off on you which is why you said what you said last night. I know you don't mean it. I know you love me Just like how I love you."
I lean forward and take one of the locks of his hair that isn’t dried together with blood and examine its rich color in the sunlight streaming in between the strips of heavy duct tape on the windows.
No answer.
"She's in the house. I didn't kill her. She's just not here with you."
"How.."
Already knowing his question I answer it.
"Well, she's a little.. tied up right now, but let's just say, she won't be able to accuse or flip people off the same way again."
Then one thing he does.
One thing that makes me feel contrition.
I watch him close his eyes and finger his silver engagement ring as tears trail down his face and to the cold tile beneath him.
Despite the blood, I gently stroke his face, being careful to not hurt him.
"At the end of this, you'll have me. I'll have a ring just like hers that matches yours. And the only emotion you'll feel towards her is regret."
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All it took.
All it took were eight swings.
All it took were two bodies falling.
All it took were two pools of congealing blood to mix together to form one big lake.
All it took were the frozen look on their bloody, bruised faces.
All it took was a year.
All it took was a month.
All it take was my jealousy,
And my rage,
And I guess you can say my upper-body strength.
That's all it took for me.
I count how many.
Nine.
I decide to get technical.
8 swings+ 2 bodies+ (2 pools of blood ÷ 2= 1 lake of blood)+ 2 frozen looks on bloody, bruised faces+ 1 year (Note: 365 days, 52 weeks, 12 months)+ 1 month (Note: in this case 31 days, 44,640 minutes, 744 hours)+ jealousy+ rage+ upper-body strength (which surprised me because I thought I had none)= 18 factors.
18.
Well I must say though, if anything dragging her fat ass up the stairs was the hardest. He was okay. All the blood made him soaking wet so he just glided up the steps.
After their bodies were settled at the foot of the stairs, I separated them. Him in my bedroom, her in the guest bedroom. 'Cus I mean, we can't have them together so they can deviate a plan to escape can we? Seeing as this was preplanned, I already had new, shiny, and really big locks going up and down every door, window, or any other entrance or exit, all controlled by different keys. I put different colors of nail polish on the locks and their corresponding keys so it would be easier for me. Another thing I did beforehand is remove all the furniture from the rooms. Mattresses, dressers, television sets, mirrors and other things of that nature now clutter my garage. Now looking back, those U-Haul people ripped me off. There's no way in hell that all of that costs $550. But then again I can't really complain. They were nice enough to move it to my garage instead of a storage and dumb enough to believe my whole "I'm doing construction work in these two rooms" crap.
So here I am now.
Sitting on my tush, leaning up against my linen closet.
To my left the guest bedroom, to my right mine.
xOh good, you're done ranting. It gets annoying sometimes, you know.
I DID IT!!
xYes you did, good job! So far there isn't a thing you did wrong.
Really?
xYep. You cleaned up downstairs, gave all the neighbors a bullshit story fro the noise, and disposed of that bitch's cheap ass car. Everything's perfect.
A smug smile finds its way across my face.
xWhy don't you check on your guests?
Finally, some fun. I've been on my doing nothing but business for 5 hours and been sitting on my ass for 3 hours.
I count the hours.
Eight.
I get technical.
11:00, the deed is done. 11:00-11:20, asses the situation. 11:20-11:30, drag them to the foot of the stairs. 11:30-11:45 put them in rooms and lock 20 different locks with 20 different keys on each door (making 40 locks and 40 keys). 11:45-12:30, go downstairs and clean everything my guests have touched in the past couple of hours. 12:30-12:35, change clothes. 12:35-12:38, curse myself for locking 40 locks before fishing out the items from 8 different pockets (two pockets in the front, two in the back= 4 pockets x 2 people= 8 pockets). 12:38-12:40, grab two Ziploc bags from the pantry and head upstairs. 12:40-1:00, unlock 40 locks, clean out pockets, pat them down, pat them down again, put items in separate Ziploc bags, lock 40 locks, go downstairs. 1:00-1:02, grab her keys and go in her car. 1:02-1:30, drive car to dump. 1:30-1:33, persuade hobo to open the gate to the dump. 1:33-1:40, find an appropriate spot and get out of car. 1:40-2:00, find a gasoline tank in the dump and search for lighter long abandoned in pants. 2:00-2:35, bathe car in gasoline and set on fire. 2:35-3:15, watch the car burn to ashes while laughing wildly. 3:15-3:20, leave dump and say bye to hobo. 3:20-3:25, curse myself for not thinking about how I'll be getting back home. 3:25-4:00, run home (mind you I have to cross two of the busiest intersections in my state and travel along a highway). 4:00-4:10, stumble upstairs and collapse in front of the linen closet. 4:10-7:00, stay there.
xWow.
I get up and stretch, cracking bones as I move. First, I unlock the first 20 locks to her room. I see her huddled in a corner, unmoving. She hasn't woken up seeing as she's in the same position she was in when I dropped her there but just to make sure I enter the room and poke her with my foot.
Nothing.
Perfect.
I leave and go to the other guest room near hers and grab a bag. I come back and kneel next to her and pull out a roll of duct tape.
I start by rolling her over on her stomach and begin to tape her hands behind her back. In this position I can get a perfect view of the effects of her present on the back of her head.
I chuckle and retch at the same time.
After her legs are taped up I decide to make the most of this opportunity.
Wake up call!
I pull out of my bag a knife with a long, shiny blade.
Flipping her over on her stomach and grab her index finger.
Bet you know what I'm gonna do!
I place the blade against the tip of it and first start adding more and more pressure until more and more blood spurts from the wound. Hitting the bone I drag the blade across her finger, once again, more pressure and faster movements with every strokes.
A scream is sounded from her lips, somewhat similar to that of an opera singer.
I keep going and don't stop until the tip of her index finger is next to her and she starts a new pool of blood.
"Good morning, Aymi!"
"AAHHH!!"
I roughly grab her hair and jerk it, kinda hoping to break her neck in the process.
"That's not how you greet someone. Say 'good morning Ryan'." I say in her ear.
"GOOD MORNING....RYAN!"
"See it wasn't that hard. Loud, but not that hard."
"So how is your morning so far. Mine is perfect. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, the blood is leaking, the bones are breaking."
She replies with a cry. Sort of like a mix of fear and pain.
I respond by grabbing the middle finger on her other hand and sawing it off.
"I said, how is your fucking morning!"
"FINE!"
"Screaming again are we? Man, do you have a pair of lungs on you."
I put the knife and the roll of duct tape back in the bag and get up.
"I'm gonna leave now would you like anything?"
"AAHHH!"
"That's not an item, sweetie."
"AAAHHH!"
"Hey, scream all you want, but mind you these rooms are soundproof. Have been for a couple of months."
That shut her up.
I leave and close the door behind me. I lock the door and start on his door.
Nervous and fumbling I enter and turn key after key.
After what seemed like an eternity I was done.
I run to him and kneel at his side.
Even with bruises, swollen areas, and dried blood he still looked adorable.
And he still made my stomach do flips.
I sit and stare at him.
Admiring him as if it were two years ago when...
He coughs loudly, making me jump across the room.
He coughs again and again.
Then he hiccups.
That is so random.
I move closer to him, sitting crisscross-apple sauce with my head in my hands.
Then he opens his purple eyes and locks with gaze with mine.
What the fuck do I do now?!
xTalk to him.
I don't want to!
xYou have to. Make him understand why he's here and why you did this to him.
But I barely know myself.
xOh you don't? Does last night's events ring any bells? Does the years events ring any bells?
..Yeah.
xThen this should be easy.
Okay.
xAnd Ryan,
Yeah?
xDon't hold anything back.
"Ryan?"
His voice. It's not like the one I'm used to. The smooth one that made my heart skip beats and caused me to start to sweat. It's different.
I don't like this different.
"Ryan?"
"Yes, Brendon."
Oh, so long it's been.
"What happened?"
"What do you remember?"
"You.... present...."
"Do you want me to tell you?"
He nods his head as the pain from his movements show on his face.
"I hit you and Aymi over the head with a shovel."
No answer.
"Do you know why?"
No answer.
"Well actually there was a change in plans."
No answer.
"It was only supposed to be Aymi, but what you did. A bachelor party? I mean really? But I'm not mad at you anymore. I don't hate you."
"Then.. Why?"
"I'm just going to teach you a lesson.
"Ay....Mi?"
"You don't need to worry about her anymore because quite frankly she's the one who landed you here. Her cruelness must have rubbed off on you which is why you said what you said last night. I know you don't mean it. I know you love me Just like how I love you."
I lean forward and take one of the locks of his hair that isn’t dried together with blood and examine its rich color in the sunlight streaming in between the strips of heavy duct tape on the windows.
No answer.
"She's in the house. I didn't kill her. She's just not here with you."
"How.."
Already knowing his question I answer it.
"Well, she's a little.. tied up right now, but let's just say, she won't be able to accuse or flip people off the same way again."
Then one thing he does.
One thing that makes me feel contrition.
I watch him close his eyes and finger his silver engagement ring as tears trail down his face and to the cold tile beneath him.
Despite the blood, I gently stroke his face, being careful to not hurt him.
"At the end of this, you'll have me. I'll have a ring just like hers that matches yours. And the only emotion you'll feel towards her is regret."
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