Hello Genocide!
I read your story, including the comment about it being your first fic in the first chapter, so I'll be relatively gentle with you so as not to put you off writing.
This story indeed shows all the sign of a first fic soon to be abandoned in pursuit of better literture. It reads like one of those fics for chalanges that say "Okay, we all saw the cliches, we all hate them, really can't stand them at all, let's, just for a laught, write a story that corporates just about every possible clishe in existance!"
Now, those stories can either go the way of "Yes, but do so with a twist, turning the overused and fundamentally stupid plop-bunnies into original and surprising ones." - which often make for good fanfiction, or the way of 'let's make it funny and hilarious, poking fun at all those idiot jerks who write this crap with al seriousness and think they invented the wheel." which often achieves its mark in extracting a joke, and furthemore serve as an excersize in futility and point ot demonstrate the excess, redundant fanfiction that floods this site to the point of overwhelming. (Still, it is far better than the situation in ff.net. They are light-years ahead in accomulation of bad fics, and since they began categorizing the communities, they began copyig from each other to the point they all show the same fics, so you can't even brows and skim through different groups in order to fish the one good story of the week... )
So your story reads like one of those. Alas, it seems to me, you actually mean it seriously, going for drama rather than comic relief, so I have no choice but harken and agree with my fellow readers and reviewers: "Harry Potter and the New Powers"? Perhaps "Harry Potter and the overused and Regurgitated Stupid, Annoying Clich'es" might serve you better. Than again, this story is better left unwritten, so no title at all would go even further.
As a fellow medicine student, I know that the subject does not require extentive originality and creativity, you don't have to come up with new ideas, in fact, most of what you do, the first few years at least, is regurgitate the stuff the professors and doctors are feeding you to the point of disgust, but what works to teach yound doctors things they would never have to use nor would remember the minute the finals are over, does not work when writing fiction, I am afraid to say.
Better luck next time.
Regards,
stealacandy