Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > I Will Follow You Into The Dark
I woke up at some point late in the morning, immediately feeling pain in my lower body and seeing flashbacks across my closed eyelids. I whimpered and opened my eyes. Gerard was sat on a chair next to my bed, glancing at me worriedly and wiping my face with a washcloth.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” he whispered to me, drawing the washcloth away from my face. “You were having a nightmare. I was just cooling you down, you were all sweaty but I couldn’t wake you, I’m sorry.”
“It’s ok,” I whispered, details of the nightmare now coming back to me. Adriann pushing me onto the bed, tearing my clothes off, the feeling of him hardening, the feeling of him hitting the back of my throat... I leaned over the side of the bed, throwing up and narrowly missing Gerard. He rubbed my arm soothingly, knowing my back was out of bounds.
“Alright Mikey, let it all up.”
I lay back on the bed and allowed the tears to fall, there was no use denying them.
“Please just leave me,” I whispered. “Please just leave me alone.”
“What?” Gerard asked.
“Just leave me alone.” I screamed.
Gerard looked shocked but backed out of the room, not wanting to upset me. He shut the door and as soon as he did so I stood up, ignoring my protesting wounds and threw the chair he had been sat on across my room, smashing the mirror opposite me. The crash it made was enough to bring Gerard back into the room just as I was pulling all my books down off my book shelf. Gerard pulled me back, his arms wrapped around my upper torso, his arms holding my own pinned to my sides. I screamed at the pain and writhed around, trying to get out of his grasp.
“Please Mikey, please calm down. Come on I don’t want you hurting more,” Gerard begged me. I slumped in his arms and he let us fall to the floor, holding me tight against his body. We sat there for a while before Gerard finally spoke up. “Come on, let’s clean you up.”
Gerard supported me as I stood up and led me to the bathroom. He wet a wash cloth and gently wiped my face, wiping away the sweat, grime and tear-tracks from the morning. He then put more antiseptic onto my knees though he left the bandages on my back saying he didn’t “want to keep opening the wounds by taking the bandage off,” I don’t know why but I nodded anyway and let him do as he pleased to take care of me.
“Mikey?” he asked, bringing me out from my daze. “Is it ok if I see if you’ve bled anymore?” he asked gently. I could sense his fingertips by the hem of the boxers he’d dressed me in last night. I nodded my reply.
Slowly Gerard pulled my boxers down, letting them rest by my knees. “Ok Mikey I’m just going to wipe away this blood ok” Gerard assured me, reaching to hold my hand again. I gripped his hand before my boxers were once again placed back in their rightful place.
We went downstairs.
“You want something to eat?” Gerard asked.
I shook my head and lay down on the couch, curling myself into a ball as much as my body would allow. Gerard glanced at me before going about his daily business, tidying round and leaving me to my thoughts. I barely moved off the couch. I didn’t get up to eat and only got up when I needed the toilet. I jumped every time a car drove by, anytime a window rattled, anytime a rustle was created outside. I was completely on edge and it wasn’t too long before I felt myself close to breakdown. Gerard kept a close eye on me all day and eventually I went upstairs and took some more of the muscle relaxant Gerard had left by my bed before lying down. They didn’t work as quick this time; too much was going round my mind. Gerard came into the room and sat down on the edge of my bed.
“Is it ok if I lay with you?” Gerard asked.
I nodded and Gerard moved down behind me.
“Is this ok?” he asked as he wrapped an arm around my waist. I nodded again as slowly my eyelids became heavier and my breathing evened out.
-------
I woke up to the soft playing of the Smashing Pumpkins coming from my radio alarm. I felt Gerard move around behind me, kissing the back of my neck. I tensed though he didn’t notice.
“Mikey I think I should go to school today,” He suggested. “They’re gonna start getting suspicious and then they’ll phone home and if mom and dad don’t answer and we can’t give them the right permission of whatever there will be hell when mom and dad get back. If I go in I can say your sick and I was off yesterday as I was too. We could type a letter off and then forge their signature. What do you think? Will you be alright left on your own?”
I slowly thought over his idea in my head. He was right, the school were going to start getting curious and phone here, If mom and dad weren’t here to answer we’d get in shit for skipping class yet I couldn’t tell them the truth, I couldn’t have them look at me and know what’s happened to their youngest son. I didn’t want to have them look at me in pity.
“Yeah I think you should go.” I whispered quietly.
“Will you be ok on your own?” Gerard asked again.
“Yeah,” I replied. “I’ll be fine.” I reassured myself.
“Ok, I’ll go get ready; I’ll come home for lunch yeah?”
I nodded my head disinterestedly, “Ok,”
I felt Gerard’s worried gaze on the back of my head before he sighed and got out of bed, beginning to get ready for his school day. My eyes lids closed and I slowly drifted back into sleep.
A large bang woke me up, looking at the clock I noticed that I’d slept a few hours. The noise came again and my heart started jumping in my chest. Slowly I stood, feeling for my glasses on the bedside unit; taking my time I left the room, holding onto the walls for support. I made my way down stairs and into the kitchen where the noise seemed to be coming from, peeking my head around the door, my hand clasped around a candle stick from the table in the hall. Swinging into the room I looked around me, ready to see who was in the house. No-one was there. Looking over at the back door I saw what had been making the noise, next door neighbours cat was pawing at the screen over our door, causing it to bang against it and bounce off.
“I hate you Murphy you know that,” I sighed as I opened the door and let the cat in, I raided the fridge, settling on a bowl of milk and a slice of ham for the cat. I set it on the floor and turned round only to bump into someone. I screamed and jumped, grabbing the candle stick from the counter and hitting the person with it.
“Mikey it’s me, Mikey stop, it’s me Frank.”
I stopped thrashing him with the candle stick, “Frank?”
The figure lowered his arms hesitantly from protecting his face, unsure whether I would begin attacking again. Indeed it was Frank. I raised the candle stick again, hitting him in the side with it.
“What the hell are you playing at?!” I shouted at my best friend.
“Look, put the candle stick down and I’ll tell you,” Frank said, rubbing his side. “What the hell was that for anyway?”
“Oh I don’t know,” I replied sarcastically, “Maybe because you just broke into my house without me knowing it was you.”
“Yeah well it’s not my fault Gerard’s been acting queer all day.”
“What do you mean?”
“Got some smokes?” Frank asked.
“Yeah and some soda too.”
“Sweet lets go talk.”
I grabbed the requested items and followed Frank into our living room.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” he whispered to me, drawing the washcloth away from my face. “You were having a nightmare. I was just cooling you down, you were all sweaty but I couldn’t wake you, I’m sorry.”
“It’s ok,” I whispered, details of the nightmare now coming back to me. Adriann pushing me onto the bed, tearing my clothes off, the feeling of him hardening, the feeling of him hitting the back of my throat... I leaned over the side of the bed, throwing up and narrowly missing Gerard. He rubbed my arm soothingly, knowing my back was out of bounds.
“Alright Mikey, let it all up.”
I lay back on the bed and allowed the tears to fall, there was no use denying them.
“Please just leave me,” I whispered. “Please just leave me alone.”
“What?” Gerard asked.
“Just leave me alone.” I screamed.
Gerard looked shocked but backed out of the room, not wanting to upset me. He shut the door and as soon as he did so I stood up, ignoring my protesting wounds and threw the chair he had been sat on across my room, smashing the mirror opposite me. The crash it made was enough to bring Gerard back into the room just as I was pulling all my books down off my book shelf. Gerard pulled me back, his arms wrapped around my upper torso, his arms holding my own pinned to my sides. I screamed at the pain and writhed around, trying to get out of his grasp.
“Please Mikey, please calm down. Come on I don’t want you hurting more,” Gerard begged me. I slumped in his arms and he let us fall to the floor, holding me tight against his body. We sat there for a while before Gerard finally spoke up. “Come on, let’s clean you up.”
Gerard supported me as I stood up and led me to the bathroom. He wet a wash cloth and gently wiped my face, wiping away the sweat, grime and tear-tracks from the morning. He then put more antiseptic onto my knees though he left the bandages on my back saying he didn’t “want to keep opening the wounds by taking the bandage off,” I don’t know why but I nodded anyway and let him do as he pleased to take care of me.
“Mikey?” he asked, bringing me out from my daze. “Is it ok if I see if you’ve bled anymore?” he asked gently. I could sense his fingertips by the hem of the boxers he’d dressed me in last night. I nodded my reply.
Slowly Gerard pulled my boxers down, letting them rest by my knees. “Ok Mikey I’m just going to wipe away this blood ok” Gerard assured me, reaching to hold my hand again. I gripped his hand before my boxers were once again placed back in their rightful place.
We went downstairs.
“You want something to eat?” Gerard asked.
I shook my head and lay down on the couch, curling myself into a ball as much as my body would allow. Gerard glanced at me before going about his daily business, tidying round and leaving me to my thoughts. I barely moved off the couch. I didn’t get up to eat and only got up when I needed the toilet. I jumped every time a car drove by, anytime a window rattled, anytime a rustle was created outside. I was completely on edge and it wasn’t too long before I felt myself close to breakdown. Gerard kept a close eye on me all day and eventually I went upstairs and took some more of the muscle relaxant Gerard had left by my bed before lying down. They didn’t work as quick this time; too much was going round my mind. Gerard came into the room and sat down on the edge of my bed.
“Is it ok if I lay with you?” Gerard asked.
I nodded and Gerard moved down behind me.
“Is this ok?” he asked as he wrapped an arm around my waist. I nodded again as slowly my eyelids became heavier and my breathing evened out.
-------
I woke up to the soft playing of the Smashing Pumpkins coming from my radio alarm. I felt Gerard move around behind me, kissing the back of my neck. I tensed though he didn’t notice.
“Mikey I think I should go to school today,” He suggested. “They’re gonna start getting suspicious and then they’ll phone home and if mom and dad don’t answer and we can’t give them the right permission of whatever there will be hell when mom and dad get back. If I go in I can say your sick and I was off yesterday as I was too. We could type a letter off and then forge their signature. What do you think? Will you be alright left on your own?”
I slowly thought over his idea in my head. He was right, the school were going to start getting curious and phone here, If mom and dad weren’t here to answer we’d get in shit for skipping class yet I couldn’t tell them the truth, I couldn’t have them look at me and know what’s happened to their youngest son. I didn’t want to have them look at me in pity.
“Yeah I think you should go.” I whispered quietly.
“Will you be ok on your own?” Gerard asked again.
“Yeah,” I replied. “I’ll be fine.” I reassured myself.
“Ok, I’ll go get ready; I’ll come home for lunch yeah?”
I nodded my head disinterestedly, “Ok,”
I felt Gerard’s worried gaze on the back of my head before he sighed and got out of bed, beginning to get ready for his school day. My eyes lids closed and I slowly drifted back into sleep.
A large bang woke me up, looking at the clock I noticed that I’d slept a few hours. The noise came again and my heart started jumping in my chest. Slowly I stood, feeling for my glasses on the bedside unit; taking my time I left the room, holding onto the walls for support. I made my way down stairs and into the kitchen where the noise seemed to be coming from, peeking my head around the door, my hand clasped around a candle stick from the table in the hall. Swinging into the room I looked around me, ready to see who was in the house. No-one was there. Looking over at the back door I saw what had been making the noise, next door neighbours cat was pawing at the screen over our door, causing it to bang against it and bounce off.
“I hate you Murphy you know that,” I sighed as I opened the door and let the cat in, I raided the fridge, settling on a bowl of milk and a slice of ham for the cat. I set it on the floor and turned round only to bump into someone. I screamed and jumped, grabbing the candle stick from the counter and hitting the person with it.
“Mikey it’s me, Mikey stop, it’s me Frank.”
I stopped thrashing him with the candle stick, “Frank?”
The figure lowered his arms hesitantly from protecting his face, unsure whether I would begin attacking again. Indeed it was Frank. I raised the candle stick again, hitting him in the side with it.
“What the hell are you playing at?!” I shouted at my best friend.
“Look, put the candle stick down and I’ll tell you,” Frank said, rubbing his side. “What the hell was that for anyway?”
“Oh I don’t know,” I replied sarcastically, “Maybe because you just broke into my house without me knowing it was you.”
“Yeah well it’s not my fault Gerard’s been acting queer all day.”
“What do you mean?”
“Got some smokes?” Frank asked.
“Yeah and some soda too.”
“Sweet lets go talk.”
I grabbed the requested items and followed Frank into our living room.
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