Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Fuck, Just Because You Can Have Everything, Doesn't Mean You Can Have Everything
Leaving My Heart Quicker Then Lightening, The Upsetting Thing Is I'm Showing It Hurts More Than I Want It Too
6 reviewsUh.... Estella is getting even more hurt by her father. Ashlee is being well.... Ashlee. Who else couuld she possibly be?? Just read it.
0Unrated
Ashlee and Pete stood in front of our big oak staircase when I turned around from closing the huge double doors. I glared at them before going to the kitchen.
“Don’t think we’re not going to talk about this, young lady.” Ashlee screeched from the main entrance. Her high heels were clicking against the newly waxed wood floors.
“Burn in Hell.” I replied getting a G2.
“Don’t talk to your mother that way!” Pete snapped taking the G2 from me.
“Fine.” I muttered looking down at the floor.
“Sit.” Pete growled.
I took a seat at the mahogany dining room table chair. Pete and Ashlee sat down on either side of me so there was no escape. Hemingway scampered into the room and licked my leg. It was an entire family reunion.
I picked up the English bulldog and petted him as Ashlee and my dad opened their mouths.
They were probably saying some important shit but I wasn’t paying attention. The important part of this conversation was knowing the punishment not anything else.
“So you may not use your Vista laptop or your iPod anymore.” Ashlee finished. She grinned seeming quite satisfied.
Pete waited for Ashlee to leave before cornering me. “Give me the phones.” He said.
“What? That’s not part of the punishment. You heard Ashlee.” That was new.
“Give ‘em.”
I got up and pushed in my chair. Pete was about to protest but I ran through the dining room to my band room.
The colorful guitar picks that lined the entire room were blurry in my tear stained eyes. I wiped my eyes furiously getting rid of the evidence. I went into the door in the back of the room to my bedroom.
Everything was blurry in my eyes. I turned on my iHome and Metro Station blasted through the speakers. If only I felt like shaking it today.
I picked up my Verizon Samsung Glyde and typed in the familiar numbers to Patrick’s cell phone. There were only two rings before he picked up.
“Hello?”
“Pete’s a butthead.” I greeted him.
“What?”
I hung up the Glyde and stuffed it into my chestnut desk drawer. I kicked a grey blue wall crying fully now. There was no point in hiding it because no one would hear me. Pete had left and so had Ashlee. They didn’t care. I didn’t see why they should. I was a motherfucking mistake made by God. Why care about me?
I lifted my head to see a picture of me and my father. We were grinning from ear to ear in front of the first stage for the first show in the Sleeping With Giants tour. That day had been amazing for all three of us.
“Hey Estella, look at that. Do you know who made that picture?” my father quizzed pointing at a poster for the tour.
“Yeah, The Butcher did!” I grinned laughing. I flipped my faded curly black hair. I had forgotten it to dye it again in these two weeks.
My father brought me closer to him by my shoulder. I leaned against his chest. He looked down at me resting there.
It was odd that I was lying there on him. I was fourteen and Ashlee and my relationship had hit an iceberg like The Titanic and was sinking fast. I guess Pete had thought that would happen but we had stayed together like Christopher Robin and Winnie The Pooh Bear.
“Two minutes!” Tony yelled constantly running around.
“Yo Tony, hold on a second.” My father asked fixing his black bangs.
“Yeah man.” Tony held still and concentrated on Pete.
“Can you take a picture of me and my daughter? If we’re ever mad at each other we can look at this picture and remember we should always be close. I mean, we lasted fourteen years and she’s getting tired of Ashlee so I want her to remember how close we are.” Pete explained.
Tony nodded laughing. I handed him my silver digital camera. Tony ran back yelling two minutes.
He didn’t have to tell us to smile because the two of us were smiling. My arms hung by my side while my head rested against his hard chest. Pete’s right arm hung around my neck holding me close.
“Remember this picture?” my dad asked beaming like he had on his wedding day as he held the photo in front of both of us.
“Yeah, it was taken two minutes before the first show in the Sleeping With Giants tour two months ago.” I told him taking one of the brightly colored pictures.
Pete nodded messing with my hair. “I love you.”
“I love you back.” I whispered.
“Vicky, come over now!” I exclaimed into my Verizon LG.
“Alright, see you in five.” She hung up.
I called Hailey and then Rachel. It was time for band practice. It always was, but today we had a new hate song to practice.
“What?” Vicky panted as she ran through the my door.
“It’s time for band practice.” I told her.
“Are the other-”
“We’re here!” Rachel screamed from upstairs.
Rachel and Hailey appeared in the arch of the door in no less than seven seconds after the call.
“Why are we here?” Hailey groaned.
“I wrote a new song. We’re practicing. Now!” I growled the last part scary like.
The three of them ran to their instruments quickly and waited. I passed out the sheet music and lyrics.
When we were set up I spilled words from my mouth.
“Now I’m figuring you out
How you tricked me
The whole fucking thing
You let me think you were on my side
Then you switched to hers
It was like you hated me
Like I didn’t exist
I was treated like shit
And not even the good kind
Go to hell
Burn alive
I would never take a bullet for you
Just stay away
Never come back
Just burn alive
Then you’ll be in hell
Look at her
Now look at me
Which do you want in your life
Yeah it’s a choice
But you need -”
“You wrote an entire hate song on your dad!” Rachel screeched from behind the drum set.
My checks went red as I nodded. Rachel still remembers the club scene. Damn it!
“But you guys are so close.” Hailey commented.
“Were.” I spat tightening my grip on my guitar.
“What happened?” Vicky asked.
“This was a bad idea. Just get out.” I whispered wiping tears away from my eyes.
“We’ll help you.” Vicky said.
“I said get out.” I replied.
“C’mon sweetie, we’re your best friends, we can help you through this.” Hailey insisted rubbing my back.
“Get the fuck out now!” I yelled pointing at the door.
Hailey and Vicky stepped away.
“Estella, let us help!” Rachel protested.
“Guys, I said get the fuck out of this house now!” I screamed.
The three girls scampered out of the room. I heard the doors slam shut. They were gone. I was alone.
Tears fell out of my eyes slowly. I kicked a wall as tears escaped my eyes faster now. I threw my guitar to the ground hard hoping to break it.
Not a scratch in sight on my black and white guitar. Shit! I threw my guitar at the custom made drum set.
It went through the biggest part of the drum (I don’t know anything about drums so I can’t tell you what part it was) that said Curse On Your Lips in red. The guitar crashed into the seat pushing the seat off the drum set and into the wall. The wall cracked along with breaking the seat in half and breaking the guitar.
I shrugged satisfied with my work.
“Hey William, it’s Estella Wentz. I just cracked the wall, broke the seat in my drum set, and broke my guitar. I need you right now! Call Sisky! Something! I just can’t be at home when Ashlee and Pete get home!” I exclaimed into the phone.
The walls were coming closer. Trying to squeeze me out of the room. Trying to get me to call my dad for help. Trying to get me to call him to tell him I loved him and missed him and wanted him to come home soon.
I would rather jump grenades.
He would just laugh in my face. But that would be better than having these walls get even closer. I gave up to my imagination and ran into the kitchen.
His cell phone rang four times before he picked up. “What?”
“It’s your daughter, Estella.” I told him.
“Oh hey, how’s it going?” he asked like he honestly cared. But only hearing his voice full of concern made me remember how much I should love him. How much I really loved him and missed him. His voice reminded me of how much I wished he didn’t have to leave for tour as much as he did.
“Pretty good.” I lied playing with the phone cord.
“I gotta go to play a show.” He said after three minutes of silence.
“Alright. Play good for me!” I grinned to the phone. “I love you.” I whispered.
Dial tone answered.
“I love you too, Este.” I told myself.
But I didn’t know that. Ashlee had finally gotten him against me. It had only taken him two minutes. As soon as he thought she’d been hurt and thought I knew he was angry at me. Even though I hadn’t known. The only reason he could think that was because if she had really been getting hurt and I was there, it was questionable to whether I would help her. The thought of her death made me smile but actually picturing her and blood together made me feel sad.
My phone rang waking me from my thoughts. I dived for the phone hurting my stomach when I landed next to it. “Hello?” I whispered clutching my stomach as I got up.
“You okay?” Sisky’s voice rang through the phone.
“Not really but that doesn’t matter right now. What’s up?” I replied getting to my bed in the other room.
“I’m good. What happened to you?” he asked still wondering.
“I dived for the phone and hit my stomach really hard when I landed.” I answered.
“Why?”
“Because…” I didn’t end that sentence. I didn’t want Sisky to feel bad. “I just did.”
“Alright, I guess that makes enough sense to me.” Sisky laughed.
“So, how’s it going? Why’d you call?” I asked him staring at the hole in the wall.
“William told me to call you. He got your message but he didn’t wanna call because he thought I’d be better at cheering you up then he would. The first thing he told me to tell you was that you needn’t worry about that wall. Your dad is a fucking billionaire, that wall will be fixed in a week. Second thing is that he wants you to stay with me. I asked my mom and she said yes. Now you need to say yes so uh, say yes!” Sisky exclaimed.
“Sure! Last time I stayed with you it was fun so I guess this won’t be any different. I’ll be there next week because the week after my dad is due back.” I explained.
“Yo, can I come over tomorrow?” Sisky asked sounding very unsure of himself.
“Yeah sure, it’s the least I can do for everything you’re about to do for me! Besides, I enjoy your company. Any specific reason?”
“The band won’t come over to “babysit” and my mom doesn’t wanna leave me alone again because she doesn’t think I’m old enough.” Sisky admitted.
“You’re blushing!” I concluded from his voice.
“Shut up!” he snapped. “So I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“That’s the plan isn’t it?” I smirked.
“Okay I’ll see you!” Sisky hung up before I could be mean to him any longer.
Now right there is the reason I didn’t kill myself tonight. Instead I glared at myself in the mirror until I got tired. Tomorrow was Saturday the official beginning of the last week of school which would mean, if I’m lucky, some DecayDance or Fueled By Ramon band would take me to some concert. If I’m even luckier The Academy will adopt me for the weekend. I’m sure my dad won’t want me and who knows what my mom has planned for those nights and frankly I didn’t want to know.
As I was pulling the comforter up my Samsung Glyde started ringing uncontrollably at its place by the charger. I grinned like mad when I recognized the song finally. It was Trace Cyrus calling me for the first time in weeks.
“Hello Mr. Cyrus, I think this call is a little overdue.” I smirked.
“Shut up!” Trace snapped like it was a reflex.
“You better hurry with this, William’s gonna check on me soon.” I told him.
“Fine, fine.” He snapped.
“Someone’s grumpy.” I grinned holding out laughter.
“I wanted you to know I’d be in Chicago for your last week of school and if you wanted to get together you could call or something.” Trace said in one breath.
“Yeah, I’ll see.” I said leading him on. Oh, if only I’d known Trace liked me before Sisky moved into my life. Because damn it Sisky was getting into my heart as fast as my dad was getting out.
“Alright, bye!” Trace hung up not waiting for me.
It’s like everyone can read my mind now. My heart ached as Sisky and William started taking my dad’s place as he moved out. It hurt to realize that but I couldn’t avoid it.
Everyone knew I was hurting somehow. I couldn’t figure it out but I would. I couldn’t not figure out.
I threw my Glyde to the ground and snuggled to the pillow.
Not that I’d really go to sleep. I had too much on my mind. Like how Trace had practically read my mind. How Sisky was getting into my heart. How William was taking better care of me then Ashlee ever had. Only all that didn’t really hurt me as much as knowing that my dad could care less about what was happening here.
*****
This was was written for the people who reviewed
& the fact that someone (ash360) said they were
addicted already cracks me up!! Anyway, please
review nicely like the other 5 people cuz it makes
me smile (and maybe laugh) besides it makes me
update faster. :D :D
Only Este
Peace. Love. Sisky!!
“Don’t think we’re not going to talk about this, young lady.” Ashlee screeched from the main entrance. Her high heels were clicking against the newly waxed wood floors.
“Burn in Hell.” I replied getting a G2.
“Don’t talk to your mother that way!” Pete snapped taking the G2 from me.
“Fine.” I muttered looking down at the floor.
“Sit.” Pete growled.
I took a seat at the mahogany dining room table chair. Pete and Ashlee sat down on either side of me so there was no escape. Hemingway scampered into the room and licked my leg. It was an entire family reunion.
I picked up the English bulldog and petted him as Ashlee and my dad opened their mouths.
They were probably saying some important shit but I wasn’t paying attention. The important part of this conversation was knowing the punishment not anything else.
“So you may not use your Vista laptop or your iPod anymore.” Ashlee finished. She grinned seeming quite satisfied.
Pete waited for Ashlee to leave before cornering me. “Give me the phones.” He said.
“What? That’s not part of the punishment. You heard Ashlee.” That was new.
“Give ‘em.”
I got up and pushed in my chair. Pete was about to protest but I ran through the dining room to my band room.
The colorful guitar picks that lined the entire room were blurry in my tear stained eyes. I wiped my eyes furiously getting rid of the evidence. I went into the door in the back of the room to my bedroom.
Everything was blurry in my eyes. I turned on my iHome and Metro Station blasted through the speakers. If only I felt like shaking it today.
I picked up my Verizon Samsung Glyde and typed in the familiar numbers to Patrick’s cell phone. There were only two rings before he picked up.
“Hello?”
“Pete’s a butthead.” I greeted him.
“What?”
I hung up the Glyde and stuffed it into my chestnut desk drawer. I kicked a grey blue wall crying fully now. There was no point in hiding it because no one would hear me. Pete had left and so had Ashlee. They didn’t care. I didn’t see why they should. I was a motherfucking mistake made by God. Why care about me?
I lifted my head to see a picture of me and my father. We were grinning from ear to ear in front of the first stage for the first show in the Sleeping With Giants tour. That day had been amazing for all three of us.
“Hey Estella, look at that. Do you know who made that picture?” my father quizzed pointing at a poster for the tour.
“Yeah, The Butcher did!” I grinned laughing. I flipped my faded curly black hair. I had forgotten it to dye it again in these two weeks.
My father brought me closer to him by my shoulder. I leaned against his chest. He looked down at me resting there.
It was odd that I was lying there on him. I was fourteen and Ashlee and my relationship had hit an iceberg like The Titanic and was sinking fast. I guess Pete had thought that would happen but we had stayed together like Christopher Robin and Winnie The Pooh Bear.
“Two minutes!” Tony yelled constantly running around.
“Yo Tony, hold on a second.” My father asked fixing his black bangs.
“Yeah man.” Tony held still and concentrated on Pete.
“Can you take a picture of me and my daughter? If we’re ever mad at each other we can look at this picture and remember we should always be close. I mean, we lasted fourteen years and she’s getting tired of Ashlee so I want her to remember how close we are.” Pete explained.
Tony nodded laughing. I handed him my silver digital camera. Tony ran back yelling two minutes.
He didn’t have to tell us to smile because the two of us were smiling. My arms hung by my side while my head rested against his hard chest. Pete’s right arm hung around my neck holding me close.
“Remember this picture?” my dad asked beaming like he had on his wedding day as he held the photo in front of both of us.
“Yeah, it was taken two minutes before the first show in the Sleeping With Giants tour two months ago.” I told him taking one of the brightly colored pictures.
Pete nodded messing with my hair. “I love you.”
“I love you back.” I whispered.
“Vicky, come over now!” I exclaimed into my Verizon LG.
“Alright, see you in five.” She hung up.
I called Hailey and then Rachel. It was time for band practice. It always was, but today we had a new hate song to practice.
“What?” Vicky panted as she ran through the my door.
“It’s time for band practice.” I told her.
“Are the other-”
“We’re here!” Rachel screamed from upstairs.
Rachel and Hailey appeared in the arch of the door in no less than seven seconds after the call.
“Why are we here?” Hailey groaned.
“I wrote a new song. We’re practicing. Now!” I growled the last part scary like.
The three of them ran to their instruments quickly and waited. I passed out the sheet music and lyrics.
When we were set up I spilled words from my mouth.
“Now I’m figuring you out
How you tricked me
The whole fucking thing
You let me think you were on my side
Then you switched to hers
It was like you hated me
Like I didn’t exist
I was treated like shit
And not even the good kind
Go to hell
Burn alive
I would never take a bullet for you
Just stay away
Never come back
Just burn alive
Then you’ll be in hell
Look at her
Now look at me
Which do you want in your life
Yeah it’s a choice
But you need -”
“You wrote an entire hate song on your dad!” Rachel screeched from behind the drum set.
My checks went red as I nodded. Rachel still remembers the club scene. Damn it!
“But you guys are so close.” Hailey commented.
“Were.” I spat tightening my grip on my guitar.
“What happened?” Vicky asked.
“This was a bad idea. Just get out.” I whispered wiping tears away from my eyes.
“We’ll help you.” Vicky said.
“I said get out.” I replied.
“C’mon sweetie, we’re your best friends, we can help you through this.” Hailey insisted rubbing my back.
“Get the fuck out now!” I yelled pointing at the door.
Hailey and Vicky stepped away.
“Estella, let us help!” Rachel protested.
“Guys, I said get the fuck out of this house now!” I screamed.
The three girls scampered out of the room. I heard the doors slam shut. They were gone. I was alone.
Tears fell out of my eyes slowly. I kicked a wall as tears escaped my eyes faster now. I threw my guitar to the ground hard hoping to break it.
Not a scratch in sight on my black and white guitar. Shit! I threw my guitar at the custom made drum set.
It went through the biggest part of the drum (I don’t know anything about drums so I can’t tell you what part it was) that said Curse On Your Lips in red. The guitar crashed into the seat pushing the seat off the drum set and into the wall. The wall cracked along with breaking the seat in half and breaking the guitar.
I shrugged satisfied with my work.
“Hey William, it’s Estella Wentz. I just cracked the wall, broke the seat in my drum set, and broke my guitar. I need you right now! Call Sisky! Something! I just can’t be at home when Ashlee and Pete get home!” I exclaimed into the phone.
The walls were coming closer. Trying to squeeze me out of the room. Trying to get me to call my dad for help. Trying to get me to call him to tell him I loved him and missed him and wanted him to come home soon.
I would rather jump grenades.
He would just laugh in my face. But that would be better than having these walls get even closer. I gave up to my imagination and ran into the kitchen.
His cell phone rang four times before he picked up. “What?”
“It’s your daughter, Estella.” I told him.
“Oh hey, how’s it going?” he asked like he honestly cared. But only hearing his voice full of concern made me remember how much I should love him. How much I really loved him and missed him. His voice reminded me of how much I wished he didn’t have to leave for tour as much as he did.
“Pretty good.” I lied playing with the phone cord.
“I gotta go to play a show.” He said after three minutes of silence.
“Alright. Play good for me!” I grinned to the phone. “I love you.” I whispered.
Dial tone answered.
“I love you too, Este.” I told myself.
But I didn’t know that. Ashlee had finally gotten him against me. It had only taken him two minutes. As soon as he thought she’d been hurt and thought I knew he was angry at me. Even though I hadn’t known. The only reason he could think that was because if she had really been getting hurt and I was there, it was questionable to whether I would help her. The thought of her death made me smile but actually picturing her and blood together made me feel sad.
My phone rang waking me from my thoughts. I dived for the phone hurting my stomach when I landed next to it. “Hello?” I whispered clutching my stomach as I got up.
“You okay?” Sisky’s voice rang through the phone.
“Not really but that doesn’t matter right now. What’s up?” I replied getting to my bed in the other room.
“I’m good. What happened to you?” he asked still wondering.
“I dived for the phone and hit my stomach really hard when I landed.” I answered.
“Why?”
“Because…” I didn’t end that sentence. I didn’t want Sisky to feel bad. “I just did.”
“Alright, I guess that makes enough sense to me.” Sisky laughed.
“So, how’s it going? Why’d you call?” I asked him staring at the hole in the wall.
“William told me to call you. He got your message but he didn’t wanna call because he thought I’d be better at cheering you up then he would. The first thing he told me to tell you was that you needn’t worry about that wall. Your dad is a fucking billionaire, that wall will be fixed in a week. Second thing is that he wants you to stay with me. I asked my mom and she said yes. Now you need to say yes so uh, say yes!” Sisky exclaimed.
“Sure! Last time I stayed with you it was fun so I guess this won’t be any different. I’ll be there next week because the week after my dad is due back.” I explained.
“Yo, can I come over tomorrow?” Sisky asked sounding very unsure of himself.
“Yeah sure, it’s the least I can do for everything you’re about to do for me! Besides, I enjoy your company. Any specific reason?”
“The band won’t come over to “babysit” and my mom doesn’t wanna leave me alone again because she doesn’t think I’m old enough.” Sisky admitted.
“You’re blushing!” I concluded from his voice.
“Shut up!” he snapped. “So I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“That’s the plan isn’t it?” I smirked.
“Okay I’ll see you!” Sisky hung up before I could be mean to him any longer.
Now right there is the reason I didn’t kill myself tonight. Instead I glared at myself in the mirror until I got tired. Tomorrow was Saturday the official beginning of the last week of school which would mean, if I’m lucky, some DecayDance or Fueled By Ramon band would take me to some concert. If I’m even luckier The Academy will adopt me for the weekend. I’m sure my dad won’t want me and who knows what my mom has planned for those nights and frankly I didn’t want to know.
As I was pulling the comforter up my Samsung Glyde started ringing uncontrollably at its place by the charger. I grinned like mad when I recognized the song finally. It was Trace Cyrus calling me for the first time in weeks.
“Hello Mr. Cyrus, I think this call is a little overdue.” I smirked.
“Shut up!” Trace snapped like it was a reflex.
“You better hurry with this, William’s gonna check on me soon.” I told him.
“Fine, fine.” He snapped.
“Someone’s grumpy.” I grinned holding out laughter.
“I wanted you to know I’d be in Chicago for your last week of school and if you wanted to get together you could call or something.” Trace said in one breath.
“Yeah, I’ll see.” I said leading him on. Oh, if only I’d known Trace liked me before Sisky moved into my life. Because damn it Sisky was getting into my heart as fast as my dad was getting out.
“Alright, bye!” Trace hung up not waiting for me.
It’s like everyone can read my mind now. My heart ached as Sisky and William started taking my dad’s place as he moved out. It hurt to realize that but I couldn’t avoid it.
Everyone knew I was hurting somehow. I couldn’t figure it out but I would. I couldn’t not figure out.
I threw my Glyde to the ground and snuggled to the pillow.
Not that I’d really go to sleep. I had too much on my mind. Like how Trace had practically read my mind. How Sisky was getting into my heart. How William was taking better care of me then Ashlee ever had. Only all that didn’t really hurt me as much as knowing that my dad could care less about what was happening here.
*****
This was was written for the people who reviewed
& the fact that someone (ash360) said they were
addicted already cracks me up!! Anyway, please
review nicely like the other 5 people cuz it makes
me smile (and maybe laugh) besides it makes me
update faster. :D :D
Only Este
Peace. Love. Sisky!!
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