Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > i scream into the night for you!
To: Emma Chisholm
Hey Emma. Its Bill, of course. Tokio Hotel is now in France. I think we’re in Paris, im not sure. I just woke up from a long drive. We played some show today in northern Germany…that was weird because our manager said that we weren’t going to play in our home country till after the tour. Well whatever…after the show, we all boarded a plane and we arrived in France. And then from the airport we drove to this hotel. Let me ask Tom which city we’re in…oh! I was right! We are in Paris. Tom says hi…I wonder why. He never says hi to you in person. Oh well. He probably misses being mean to you or something. Georg, Gustav, and Gordon all say hi too…hey, their names all start with a ‘G’. So…
I talked to my mom last night. She still cant believe that we’ve been away for a year. Does it feel that way? To me it doesn’t…it feels like ive been away from home for only a couple of weeks… I guess its all the traveling.
I have to rest up now. Tomorrow we have like 2 shows. Are they crazy? We’re only 15! We’re not like 20-something year olds that know the rock scene. It annoys me that they think we actually have the strength to play 2 shows in a day. Hey, but its still great!
Besides this letter, im sending you this poster of our band. It was on an alley wall in Hungary. I hope you like it because it took Tom and I like 30 minutes to get it. It was placed really high on the wall and so I got on Tom’s shoulders. You know, I noticed that hes not that stable on his feet…or maybe its just because we’re growing like super fast and hes not used to his sudden tallness. You should see us…im still a little bit taller than Tom but we’re 5’7” now! Its like whoa!
Well Gordon says lights out now…its after 2am here.
I love you…see you soon,
Bill Kaulitz
P.S.
mr. dreads says bye too…seriously, I think this kid misses being mean to you…or maybe…nah, forget it…I love you…
I smiled at Bill’s current letter and then folded it back to the way it came. I pulled this poster out of the giant yellow envelope the letter came in. Like Bill had said, Tokio Hotel was on it and it showed a date and time for their show in Hungary. It was in some city I couldn’t pronounce. After studying the poster for a couple of minutes, I set it down on the floor and picked up a regular sized white envelope with my name on it. It had came in the mail along with Bill’s letter and poster. It didn’t have a return address on it. I expected it to be something from some relatives in northern Germany…those that I never visited but sent me very late birthday gifts anyways. It was until I opened the letter that I found out who it was from and it shocked me…
Hey Emma…its Tom…you know…the neighbor across the street who left home to tour Europe with your best friend, Bill…yeah, that Tom… Tom Kaulitz. Yeah. Wow…its been a year since ive seen you. Or talked to you. Not that I talked to you much or anything.
Im writing because I want to apologize to you for being rude or mean or whatever I am when im around you. Ive thought about doing this ever since we left Germany and I left you at the airport all red and I guess, embarrassed. My mom said that you were quiet on the way home after that ’thing’ I did and that you never spoke of it to her. Im sorry if that made you feel uneasy. I just couldn’t help it. I liked you then. I don’t think I do anymore, but its not like you care anyways because I scared you and made you not like me.
But when we come back, I want to change that. Can we be friends?
Let me know when we come back. I cant wait to go back to Germany and find out what you say. Hopefully it’s a yes…think about it, okay?
I’ll see you when I get back,
Tom
I stared at the letter for a while and stared at the messy guy handwriting for a long time. I was debating on whether this was really Tom’s writing or someone else’s… I decided that it was Tom’s because who else made smiley faces on top of their lower case ‘I’s…nobody except Tom, though Bill has told him to stop doing that or else people would think he was gay. I placed that letter back in the envelope and then placed both letters from the twins in the drawer of my nightstand where I had put the rest of Bill’s letters. The drawer was already full with letters and I had to push them down before I could close it. As for the poster, I hung it above my bed next to other 3 posters Bill sent me from the other cities/countries he visited. The other small things he sent were on my dresser. I sighed as I laid on my bed and then eventually went to sleep.
[another year later…minutes before twins come home]
I was at the twins’ house with Simone. I was on the living room couch watching Simone pace the length of the room. Back and forth she went till she finally took a rest and sat on the loveseat opposite the couch I was on.
“when are they coming back home?” I asked as I looked at the picture above Simone’s head. It was a picture of me, Bill and Tom. It was taken the last time we had gone to the lake…2 years and 2 months ago…on the day Tom had spoken to the dark and told it that he didn’t want me to be scared anymore.
“they said tomorrow…but Gordon called me early this morning and said they were coming home today” she was wiping her eyes with a tissue that I don’t know where she got from.
“are you crying?” I asked…I was used to seeing Simone cry. She would cry every time she would dust the guys’ rooms or when Bill sent me a letter… Tom had only sent me that one letter… I never told Simone about his letter though.
“theyre happy tears, Emma…oh I cant wait till they come home” she looked my way and almost immediately stopped crying. She was strange that way, one second she’ll be crying and the next shes all normal.
She smiled and studied me.
“and I bet they cant wait to see you either. Theyre going to go crazy once they’ve seen how much you’ve grown!” she had this mischievous sparkle in her eyes.
“what do you mean?” I asked as I looked down at my hands in my lap.
“you know what I mean, Emma. Youre eye candy now…but then again you’ve always been their candy.”
I laughed. Sure Tom had once liked me like he said in his letter but Bill…no way! He was my best friend and I wasn’t going to believe that he liked me that way.
“Simone…im going to go ahead and pretend that I didn’t hear that. Im not eye candy and neither Bill or Tom like me” I looked up to look at her but she was no longer looking at me or sitting down. She was standing at the window and looking out.
Her hands went to her mouth and she ran from the living room and to the front door in less than a second. She flung the door open and stood there, jumping up and down until she was suddenly lifted up by two strong arms…Gordon’s. they kissed and hugged and kissed and hugged. I wanted to cry just looking at them but I kept it in.
Gordon finally stepped inside and saw me sitting on the couch. He held his arms out to me and I smiled, getting up from the couch. I flew into him arms and squeezed almost as hard as Simone had. We kissed each others cheeks and then waited for Simone to calm down.
“oh ive missed you so much, honey” Simone told Gordon from the front door.
“why is she still standing there? Shes supposed to be still hugging me” Gordon said with a pout.
I didn’t respond. I knew why though…she didn’t want the twins to see me until they walked into the living room so they could be ‘surprised.’
“MOM!” two voices yelled from outside the door.
“BILL! TOM!” Simone called out to them. I could literally hear them hugging from my place in the middle of the living room. Gordon had went off to explore the house to see if Simone had changed anything.
Sons and Mother talked for a bit at the front door before Simone walked into the living room.
“wheres Emma?” I heard Bill ask as he turned the corner from the little hall where the front door was and entered the living room. Tom was standing next to him.
All of our eyes met immediately and we just all froze.
Hey Emma. Its Bill, of course. Tokio Hotel is now in France. I think we’re in Paris, im not sure. I just woke up from a long drive. We played some show today in northern Germany…that was weird because our manager said that we weren’t going to play in our home country till after the tour. Well whatever…after the show, we all boarded a plane and we arrived in France. And then from the airport we drove to this hotel. Let me ask Tom which city we’re in…oh! I was right! We are in Paris. Tom says hi…I wonder why. He never says hi to you in person. Oh well. He probably misses being mean to you or something. Georg, Gustav, and Gordon all say hi too…hey, their names all start with a ‘G’. So…
I talked to my mom last night. She still cant believe that we’ve been away for a year. Does it feel that way? To me it doesn’t…it feels like ive been away from home for only a couple of weeks… I guess its all the traveling.
I have to rest up now. Tomorrow we have like 2 shows. Are they crazy? We’re only 15! We’re not like 20-something year olds that know the rock scene. It annoys me that they think we actually have the strength to play 2 shows in a day. Hey, but its still great!
Besides this letter, im sending you this poster of our band. It was on an alley wall in Hungary. I hope you like it because it took Tom and I like 30 minutes to get it. It was placed really high on the wall and so I got on Tom’s shoulders. You know, I noticed that hes not that stable on his feet…or maybe its just because we’re growing like super fast and hes not used to his sudden tallness. You should see us…im still a little bit taller than Tom but we’re 5’7” now! Its like whoa!
Well Gordon says lights out now…its after 2am here.
I love you…see you soon,
Bill Kaulitz
P.S.
mr. dreads says bye too…seriously, I think this kid misses being mean to you…or maybe…nah, forget it…I love you…
I smiled at Bill’s current letter and then folded it back to the way it came. I pulled this poster out of the giant yellow envelope the letter came in. Like Bill had said, Tokio Hotel was on it and it showed a date and time for their show in Hungary. It was in some city I couldn’t pronounce. After studying the poster for a couple of minutes, I set it down on the floor and picked up a regular sized white envelope with my name on it. It had came in the mail along with Bill’s letter and poster. It didn’t have a return address on it. I expected it to be something from some relatives in northern Germany…those that I never visited but sent me very late birthday gifts anyways. It was until I opened the letter that I found out who it was from and it shocked me…
Hey Emma…its Tom…you know…the neighbor across the street who left home to tour Europe with your best friend, Bill…yeah, that Tom… Tom Kaulitz. Yeah. Wow…its been a year since ive seen you. Or talked to you. Not that I talked to you much or anything.
Im writing because I want to apologize to you for being rude or mean or whatever I am when im around you. Ive thought about doing this ever since we left Germany and I left you at the airport all red and I guess, embarrassed. My mom said that you were quiet on the way home after that ’thing’ I did and that you never spoke of it to her. Im sorry if that made you feel uneasy. I just couldn’t help it. I liked you then. I don’t think I do anymore, but its not like you care anyways because I scared you and made you not like me.
But when we come back, I want to change that. Can we be friends?
Let me know when we come back. I cant wait to go back to Germany and find out what you say. Hopefully it’s a yes…think about it, okay?
I’ll see you when I get back,
Tom
I stared at the letter for a while and stared at the messy guy handwriting for a long time. I was debating on whether this was really Tom’s writing or someone else’s… I decided that it was Tom’s because who else made smiley faces on top of their lower case ‘I’s…nobody except Tom, though Bill has told him to stop doing that or else people would think he was gay. I placed that letter back in the envelope and then placed both letters from the twins in the drawer of my nightstand where I had put the rest of Bill’s letters. The drawer was already full with letters and I had to push them down before I could close it. As for the poster, I hung it above my bed next to other 3 posters Bill sent me from the other cities/countries he visited. The other small things he sent were on my dresser. I sighed as I laid on my bed and then eventually went to sleep.
[another year later…minutes before twins come home]
I was at the twins’ house with Simone. I was on the living room couch watching Simone pace the length of the room. Back and forth she went till she finally took a rest and sat on the loveseat opposite the couch I was on.
“when are they coming back home?” I asked as I looked at the picture above Simone’s head. It was a picture of me, Bill and Tom. It was taken the last time we had gone to the lake…2 years and 2 months ago…on the day Tom had spoken to the dark and told it that he didn’t want me to be scared anymore.
“they said tomorrow…but Gordon called me early this morning and said they were coming home today” she was wiping her eyes with a tissue that I don’t know where she got from.
“are you crying?” I asked…I was used to seeing Simone cry. She would cry every time she would dust the guys’ rooms or when Bill sent me a letter… Tom had only sent me that one letter… I never told Simone about his letter though.
“theyre happy tears, Emma…oh I cant wait till they come home” she looked my way and almost immediately stopped crying. She was strange that way, one second she’ll be crying and the next shes all normal.
She smiled and studied me.
“and I bet they cant wait to see you either. Theyre going to go crazy once they’ve seen how much you’ve grown!” she had this mischievous sparkle in her eyes.
“what do you mean?” I asked as I looked down at my hands in my lap.
“you know what I mean, Emma. Youre eye candy now…but then again you’ve always been their candy.”
I laughed. Sure Tom had once liked me like he said in his letter but Bill…no way! He was my best friend and I wasn’t going to believe that he liked me that way.
“Simone…im going to go ahead and pretend that I didn’t hear that. Im not eye candy and neither Bill or Tom like me” I looked up to look at her but she was no longer looking at me or sitting down. She was standing at the window and looking out.
Her hands went to her mouth and she ran from the living room and to the front door in less than a second. She flung the door open and stood there, jumping up and down until she was suddenly lifted up by two strong arms…Gordon’s. they kissed and hugged and kissed and hugged. I wanted to cry just looking at them but I kept it in.
Gordon finally stepped inside and saw me sitting on the couch. He held his arms out to me and I smiled, getting up from the couch. I flew into him arms and squeezed almost as hard as Simone had. We kissed each others cheeks and then waited for Simone to calm down.
“oh ive missed you so much, honey” Simone told Gordon from the front door.
“why is she still standing there? Shes supposed to be still hugging me” Gordon said with a pout.
I didn’t respond. I knew why though…she didn’t want the twins to see me until they walked into the living room so they could be ‘surprised.’
“MOM!” two voices yelled from outside the door.
“BILL! TOM!” Simone called out to them. I could literally hear them hugging from my place in the middle of the living room. Gordon had went off to explore the house to see if Simone had changed anything.
Sons and Mother talked for a bit at the front door before Simone walked into the living room.
“wheres Emma?” I heard Bill ask as he turned the corner from the little hall where the front door was and entered the living room. Tom was standing next to him.
All of our eyes met immediately and we just all froze.
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