Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Lost In Middle Earth
Help From Strange Sources
2 reviewsAs the quest gets underway, Gandalf finds herself in trouble, while Frodo and Sam meet a strapping young man who says he can help.....
2Funny
This story is mostly based on the book, and the 1981 BBC Radio version, rather than the movies. Partly because I loathed the movies, but mostly because I know the books and the radio play better
xoxox
Luna galloped out of Bag End and down the path. Then, at the bottom of the hill, she stopped, and untied the pony she had left there earlier.
"Buggered if I am walking all the way to The Gap" She said under her breath.
xoxox
"So, Gandalf, you have come" Saruman stared down at Luna as she walked up the steps in his entrance hall.
"Yes, Saruman, I have come. For council, and for guidance"
"Guidance?" Saruman snorted "When has Gandalf The Grey ever taken guidance from anyone?"
"Times are changing. The skies grow dark. And the sniklies are singing backwards"
"Pardon?"
"Look - are you going to help me, or just be sarcastic all night?"
"I will aid you, but first you must do me a favour"
"If this involves shrubberies, I'm out of here"
"No" Saruman started to pace, then turned to glare at her "The Nine are abroad"
"Isn't that good thing?" Luna asked. Saruman stared at her in disbelief, so she continued "Well - if they are abroad, it means they aren't here"
"You smoked a lot of that weed, didn't you?"
"Maybe"
"They search for something, and are all over the land. The power of their master is rising, and we should join him while we have the chance"
"Join The Dark Lord?"
"What else can we do? And if we could give him back his ring, I am sure he would reward us greatly" Saruman smiled "He could cross our hands with silver"
"Well - I was going to tell you where The Ring is, but now I perceive your mind, I think I will just be going"
"Tell me, or else!"
"Or else what?"
xoxox
Five minutes later she was imprisoned on the tallest pinnacle of the tallest turret of Orthanc.
"Well - that went well" She looked around "At least I have a nice view"
xoxox
Meanwhile, back in The Shire...
"Wow. I think this is the furthest I have ever been from home" Harry said looking around "And it's kind of pretty" He looked around again "So what's next?"
"Well - there's this whole thing with the Barrow Downs and the Wights, but it doesn't do much to the plot if you skip it, and then there is a whole Tom Bombadil thing, but he just sings a bit, so mostly there is running in fear from a Black Rider, then we reach Bree"
"Sounds fun"
xoxox
One dramatic chase by a Black Rider later
xoxox
"Well - that was predictable" The four of them were approaching Bree "Who would have guessed the Black Riders would wear white masks and black cloaks"
They strode in to the town, and over to the nearest pub.
"The Happy Hippogriff?" Hermione stared in disbelief at the sign for a moment, then knocked on the door. A moment later it was opened by Tom.
"Hello, little Masters" He smiled down at them "Rooms for four?"
xoxox
"Some of us were wondering if you would come in to the common room?" Tom asked them after they had eaten "We don't get a lot of news from The Shire, and our last... shipment hasn't come yet, so my customers are a bit restless" Hermione looked at the others, and they all nodded, except for George.
"I thought I'd go out for a walk"
"In the dark?"
"Yes"
"With Black Riders on the loose?"
"Yes"
"When we are escaping in secret and on a mission to save the world?"
"Yes"
"Okay" Hermione turned away "Mental, that one"
xoxox
"Mr Butterbur?"
"Yes"
"Who is that... strapping man over there?"
"That would be Strider" Tom replied quietly "Strange man. He's one of The Rangers. I wouldn't want to be dealing with him if I were you" He shook his head and wandered off.
"Rangers?" Fred asked.
"They guard the realms of the north" Hermione replied absently "They are loyal and hard working, and devoted to their leader" She gestured over to where the man was lounging in the shadows "Strider"
"Miss Underhill" Tom returned "Some of the others were wondering if you would give us a song - one from The Shire" Hermione looked around.
"You? Sing?" Harry smirked, but Hermione shushed him, then nodded.
"This is a song from where I grew up" She announced, then started to sing.
Ten minutes later
"Okay... that could have gone better" Harry said in a deadpan voice.
xoxox
George looked around, and realised he had wandered further than he had planned. The darkness had come on faster than he had thought, and he was at the far end of the town. He turned to go back when he heard a noise behind him.
"Imperio" A voice whispered. Suddenly, he felt the urge to go into the shadows where the figure was hiding. He took a step, but then jumped at a noise behind him, and his mind cleared. He turned and saw one of Butterbur's staff running up the street.
"Mr Merry - you shouldn't be out here" Nob took him by the hand and dragged him back to The Hippogriff.
A few moments later he went to the hobbits room, and then stopped dead at the sight in front of him.
Hermione was covered in custard and bits of fruit, and was glaring at the ring laying in her hand. Meanwhile Harry and Fred were clearly trying not to laugh their assess off at the expression on her face, and failing miserably.
"What the hell's going on?" He asked, already getting the giggles.
"Well - it's like this..." Fred started.
xoxox
"Two hundred bottles of beer on the wall, two hundred bottles of beer. You take one down, hand it around, there'll be one hundred and ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall"
xoxox
"...so Frodo panicked, and ran out of the common room" Harry finished "But, in her haste, she ran straight in to the pantry" He collapsed in to laughter again as Hermione gave him one of patented "DIE NOW" glares.
"Wow" George looked over at the young girl, who had just about got herself clean "So you could say your song went a trifle wrong?" This caused the other two to start laughing again, while George had to duck as a volley of pillows were thrown his way.
But before the situation could deteriorate any further, there was a knock at the door, and Tom came in.
"Ah - Miss Underhill. I'm glad to see you visible again" He looked around "That Ranger - Strider - wants a word. I told him you were busy but..."
"Send him in"
"Are you sure?" He looked her up and down "You look a trifle distressed" He looked around as the other three occupants of the room started laughing again "Sorry - is five minutes okay?"
"Yes, thank you" Hermione tried to maintain her dignified expression, but in the end she settled for smacking each of the hobbits round the head. And she felt better for it.
xoxox
"One hundred and twenty seven bottles of beer on the wall, one hundred and twenty seven bottles of beer. You take one down, hand it around, there'll be one hundred and twenty six bottles of beer on the wall"
xoxox
Five minutes later, the door opened, and Strider came in. He closed the door then turned round, and Harry gasped, and sat down on the floor with a bump.
"What's the matter Sam?" George asked. When Harry didn't reply, George turned back to Strider "He looks like he's seen a ghost!"
"Yes" Cedric said "He does"
xoxox
"... you take it down, and hand it around, there'll be..."
"Hoot! Hoothoot!" (Hello Gandalf, I have come to save thee)
"Damnit Hedwig - I had nearly finished! Now I have to start all over again"
"Hoot! HoothootHoothoot! HOOT!" (Well excuse me! I just thought you might want some help!)
"Sorry. But it's cold up here"
"HOOT? HOOThootHoot!" (Are you a bloody wizard or not?)
"Oh yeah" Luna blushed "So - have you come to take me to Rohan so I can get me a horse the likes of which no one has seen before"
"Hoot" (Why yes Gandalf, I have come to do that. And may I add that if you sing about bottles of beer while we are flying over the mountains, I will drop you)
"Fair enough. Thank you"
"HoothoothoothoothoothoothoothoothoothoothootHootHoot!" (No worries mate)
xoxox
"Sorry if I scared you, but I think we need to talk" Cedric looked over at Sam "Is he going to be okay?"
"Yes" Hermione replied "He was just surprised by your somewhat manly entry" She looked around, then turned back to him "You are Strider?"
"I am" He smiled warmly "I am here to help you"
"Why should we trust you?" George asked.
"You could be anyone?" Fred added.
"Hold on" Hermione held up her hand. She stood up, left the room, then came back a few moments later "Read that" The twins took the letter and opened it, then Fred began to read aloud.
"Dear all, I have gone to The Gap to see someone who might be able to help us. But knowing my luck, he will hold me captive for a while, and I will be delayed and not meet you here. You can trust the barman, even if he does forget to give you this. And if you see a guy named Strider on the way, trust him too. He's a nice guy, and his task is bound up with yours. And Pippin - if you are reading this aloud, stop now and read the next part quietly, otherwise I will slap you silly when I get back" He trailed off, still reading, then started again "...Hope you are having fun, lots of Love'n'Kisses, Gandalf" He handed the letter back to Hermione, who turned to Strider.
"So - who are you? Really?"
"My name is Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and if by life or death I can help you, I will" Cedric replied, then added "But on the whole I'd kind of like to live. I have this girl back home. She is the most beautiful and fairest in the land, and has this great pair of..."
"Okay!" Hermione held her hand up "Don't need to know that part" She smiled "So - shall we go now, or wait to be ambushed tonight?"
xoxox
Luna stood in front of The Lord Of The Mark, his two children and the master of ceremonies.
"My Lord, I need a horse" Luna stared up at the King of Rohan "And to tell you that Saruman betrayed you to Sauron" She paused "And to ask if your MC ever washes his hair" She paused again "But mostly I need a horse"
"You can't have one"
"Please?"
"No!"
"Pretty please?"
"No!"
"If you don't give me a horse, I will just keep asking until you do"
"No!"
"PleasePleasePlease..."
xoxox
"...PleasePleasePlease"
"Oh god - just take on and go"
"Thank you" She turned, then stopped "And I really like your hair. I tried dying mine auburn, but it just came out green" Then she left.
King Theoden watched the wizard leave and shook his head "What I want to know is how she did that all in one breath?!"
xoxox
"Oh - pwetty horsie!!" Luna leaped on to the back of the horse she had found "I shall hug you, and kiss you, and call you George"
"Neigh!!" (Are you sure?)
"No - I suppose that would get confusing. Shadowfax it is"
xoxox
"Frodo - are you sure you can trust this man?" George asked. The four hobbits were waiting for Cedric to return "I mean - he scared the crap out of Sam"
"He is trustworthy" Hermione replied "And Sam... well he just wasn't expecting to see him, so don't worry about it"
"Okay, but I still don't like him" He was interrupted as the door opened, and Cedric came in.
"We have horses, food, and water" He announced "So lets go"
xoxox
As she galloped across the land, Luna started singing to herself.
"We're called the Knights Of Rohan, We're have to fight Saruman, Our king and heirs all have red hair, and they like Lyndsey Lohan. It's a busy life in Edoras. We all like wearing Fedoras" She paused "Couldn't they have called it Hogsmeade? That's far easier to rhyme!"
xoxox
"Are we nearly there yet?"
"No! And if you don't stop asking, I am pulling these horses over right now!"
xoxox
"Dun-dada-dun-dada-dun-dada-dun Mithrandir! Dun-dada-dun-dada-dun-dada-dun-dada on shiny Shadowfax!"
xoxox
"Okay - we are going to camp here" Cedric had guided them to the top of Weathertop "It's late, and I think we should wait until morning to travel on"
For a while, they set up camp, then made a small meal around the campfire.
"So - Sam. It's your turn to sing us a song" The twins said.
"Really?" He glanced across at Hermione "Even after Frodo's... effort?"
"Yes" George said "So - come on. Sing!"
"Okay" Harry thought, then shrugged "This is back from where I come from"
Harry was a sweet young boy
In him his parents took great joy
His hair was black, his eyes were green
His beaming smile by all was seen
He had uncles numbered three
Padfoot, Wormtail and Moony
And they loved him, do not doubt that.
'Xcept for Wormtail, he was a tw...
"Language!" Hermione slapped him on the back of the head.
"Sorry Frodo" Harry smirked, then continued.
But long ago, he went away
And where he dwelleth none can say,
For as I will tell in this verse
He was hit with a killing curse...
Harry trailed off, then shook his head.
"Maybe someone else should try" He looked up at Cedric "I am sure you have a story or two to tell"
"Very well" Cedric paused "Let me tell you about Beren and Luthien..."
xoxox
"Mithrandir, Mithrandir, Riding through the lands! Mithrandir, Mithrandir, her staff in her hands! Feared by the bad! Loved far and near! Mithrandir! Mithrandir!"
xoxox
"... and they lived happily ever after. Except when they died" Cedric finished.
"Wow" George exclaimed.
"Cool story" Fred added.
"Isn't it?" Cedric smiled, then his smile faded "We should go"
"Why?"
"Well - it's getting darker, colder and we should try to reach Rivendell soon" He replied, then added "Plus there are four Black Riders coming out of the forest back yonder"
"Oh - well that explains it"
xoxox
Luna galloped out of Bag End and down the path. Then, at the bottom of the hill, she stopped, and untied the pony she had left there earlier.
"Buggered if I am walking all the way to The Gap" She said under her breath.
xoxox
"So, Gandalf, you have come" Saruman stared down at Luna as she walked up the steps in his entrance hall.
"Yes, Saruman, I have come. For council, and for guidance"
"Guidance?" Saruman snorted "When has Gandalf The Grey ever taken guidance from anyone?"
"Times are changing. The skies grow dark. And the sniklies are singing backwards"
"Pardon?"
"Look - are you going to help me, or just be sarcastic all night?"
"I will aid you, but first you must do me a favour"
"If this involves shrubberies, I'm out of here"
"No" Saruman started to pace, then turned to glare at her "The Nine are abroad"
"Isn't that good thing?" Luna asked. Saruman stared at her in disbelief, so she continued "Well - if they are abroad, it means they aren't here"
"You smoked a lot of that weed, didn't you?"
"Maybe"
"They search for something, and are all over the land. The power of their master is rising, and we should join him while we have the chance"
"Join The Dark Lord?"
"What else can we do? And if we could give him back his ring, I am sure he would reward us greatly" Saruman smiled "He could cross our hands with silver"
"Well - I was going to tell you where The Ring is, but now I perceive your mind, I think I will just be going"
"Tell me, or else!"
"Or else what?"
xoxox
Five minutes later she was imprisoned on the tallest pinnacle of the tallest turret of Orthanc.
"Well - that went well" She looked around "At least I have a nice view"
xoxox
Meanwhile, back in The Shire...
"Wow. I think this is the furthest I have ever been from home" Harry said looking around "And it's kind of pretty" He looked around again "So what's next?"
"Well - there's this whole thing with the Barrow Downs and the Wights, but it doesn't do much to the plot if you skip it, and then there is a whole Tom Bombadil thing, but he just sings a bit, so mostly there is running in fear from a Black Rider, then we reach Bree"
"Sounds fun"
xoxox
One dramatic chase by a Black Rider later
xoxox
"Well - that was predictable" The four of them were approaching Bree "Who would have guessed the Black Riders would wear white masks and black cloaks"
They strode in to the town, and over to the nearest pub.
"The Happy Hippogriff?" Hermione stared in disbelief at the sign for a moment, then knocked on the door. A moment later it was opened by Tom.
"Hello, little Masters" He smiled down at them "Rooms for four?"
xoxox
"Some of us were wondering if you would come in to the common room?" Tom asked them after they had eaten "We don't get a lot of news from The Shire, and our last... shipment hasn't come yet, so my customers are a bit restless" Hermione looked at the others, and they all nodded, except for George.
"I thought I'd go out for a walk"
"In the dark?"
"Yes"
"With Black Riders on the loose?"
"Yes"
"When we are escaping in secret and on a mission to save the world?"
"Yes"
"Okay" Hermione turned away "Mental, that one"
xoxox
"Mr Butterbur?"
"Yes"
"Who is that... strapping man over there?"
"That would be Strider" Tom replied quietly "Strange man. He's one of The Rangers. I wouldn't want to be dealing with him if I were you" He shook his head and wandered off.
"Rangers?" Fred asked.
"They guard the realms of the north" Hermione replied absently "They are loyal and hard working, and devoted to their leader" She gestured over to where the man was lounging in the shadows "Strider"
"Miss Underhill" Tom returned "Some of the others were wondering if you would give us a song - one from The Shire" Hermione looked around.
"You? Sing?" Harry smirked, but Hermione shushed him, then nodded.
"This is a song from where I grew up" She announced, then started to sing.
Ten minutes later
"Okay... that could have gone better" Harry said in a deadpan voice.
xoxox
George looked around, and realised he had wandered further than he had planned. The darkness had come on faster than he had thought, and he was at the far end of the town. He turned to go back when he heard a noise behind him.
"Imperio" A voice whispered. Suddenly, he felt the urge to go into the shadows where the figure was hiding. He took a step, but then jumped at a noise behind him, and his mind cleared. He turned and saw one of Butterbur's staff running up the street.
"Mr Merry - you shouldn't be out here" Nob took him by the hand and dragged him back to The Hippogriff.
A few moments later he went to the hobbits room, and then stopped dead at the sight in front of him.
Hermione was covered in custard and bits of fruit, and was glaring at the ring laying in her hand. Meanwhile Harry and Fred were clearly trying not to laugh their assess off at the expression on her face, and failing miserably.
"What the hell's going on?" He asked, already getting the giggles.
"Well - it's like this..." Fred started.
xoxox
"Two hundred bottles of beer on the wall, two hundred bottles of beer. You take one down, hand it around, there'll be one hundred and ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall"
xoxox
"...so Frodo panicked, and ran out of the common room" Harry finished "But, in her haste, she ran straight in to the pantry" He collapsed in to laughter again as Hermione gave him one of patented "DIE NOW" glares.
"Wow" George looked over at the young girl, who had just about got herself clean "So you could say your song went a trifle wrong?" This caused the other two to start laughing again, while George had to duck as a volley of pillows were thrown his way.
But before the situation could deteriorate any further, there was a knock at the door, and Tom came in.
"Ah - Miss Underhill. I'm glad to see you visible again" He looked around "That Ranger - Strider - wants a word. I told him you were busy but..."
"Send him in"
"Are you sure?" He looked her up and down "You look a trifle distressed" He looked around as the other three occupants of the room started laughing again "Sorry - is five minutes okay?"
"Yes, thank you" Hermione tried to maintain her dignified expression, but in the end she settled for smacking each of the hobbits round the head. And she felt better for it.
xoxox
"One hundred and twenty seven bottles of beer on the wall, one hundred and twenty seven bottles of beer. You take one down, hand it around, there'll be one hundred and twenty six bottles of beer on the wall"
xoxox
Five minutes later, the door opened, and Strider came in. He closed the door then turned round, and Harry gasped, and sat down on the floor with a bump.
"What's the matter Sam?" George asked. When Harry didn't reply, George turned back to Strider "He looks like he's seen a ghost!"
"Yes" Cedric said "He does"
xoxox
"... you take it down, and hand it around, there'll be..."
"Hoot! Hoothoot!" (Hello Gandalf, I have come to save thee)
"Damnit Hedwig - I had nearly finished! Now I have to start all over again"
"Hoot! HoothootHoothoot! HOOT!" (Well excuse me! I just thought you might want some help!)
"Sorry. But it's cold up here"
"HOOT? HOOThootHoot!" (Are you a bloody wizard or not?)
"Oh yeah" Luna blushed "So - have you come to take me to Rohan so I can get me a horse the likes of which no one has seen before"
"Hoot" (Why yes Gandalf, I have come to do that. And may I add that if you sing about bottles of beer while we are flying over the mountains, I will drop you)
"Fair enough. Thank you"
"HoothoothoothoothoothoothoothoothoothoothootHootHoot!" (No worries mate)
xoxox
"Sorry if I scared you, but I think we need to talk" Cedric looked over at Sam "Is he going to be okay?"
"Yes" Hermione replied "He was just surprised by your somewhat manly entry" She looked around, then turned back to him "You are Strider?"
"I am" He smiled warmly "I am here to help you"
"Why should we trust you?" George asked.
"You could be anyone?" Fred added.
"Hold on" Hermione held up her hand. She stood up, left the room, then came back a few moments later "Read that" The twins took the letter and opened it, then Fred began to read aloud.
"Dear all, I have gone to The Gap to see someone who might be able to help us. But knowing my luck, he will hold me captive for a while, and I will be delayed and not meet you here. You can trust the barman, even if he does forget to give you this. And if you see a guy named Strider on the way, trust him too. He's a nice guy, and his task is bound up with yours. And Pippin - if you are reading this aloud, stop now and read the next part quietly, otherwise I will slap you silly when I get back" He trailed off, still reading, then started again "...Hope you are having fun, lots of Love'n'Kisses, Gandalf" He handed the letter back to Hermione, who turned to Strider.
"So - who are you? Really?"
"My name is Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and if by life or death I can help you, I will" Cedric replied, then added "But on the whole I'd kind of like to live. I have this girl back home. She is the most beautiful and fairest in the land, and has this great pair of..."
"Okay!" Hermione held her hand up "Don't need to know that part" She smiled "So - shall we go now, or wait to be ambushed tonight?"
xoxox
Luna stood in front of The Lord Of The Mark, his two children and the master of ceremonies.
"My Lord, I need a horse" Luna stared up at the King of Rohan "And to tell you that Saruman betrayed you to Sauron" She paused "And to ask if your MC ever washes his hair" She paused again "But mostly I need a horse"
"You can't have one"
"Please?"
"No!"
"Pretty please?"
"No!"
"If you don't give me a horse, I will just keep asking until you do"
"No!"
"PleasePleasePlease..."
xoxox
"...PleasePleasePlease"
"Oh god - just take on and go"
"Thank you" She turned, then stopped "And I really like your hair. I tried dying mine auburn, but it just came out green" Then she left.
King Theoden watched the wizard leave and shook his head "What I want to know is how she did that all in one breath?!"
xoxox
"Oh - pwetty horsie!!" Luna leaped on to the back of the horse she had found "I shall hug you, and kiss you, and call you George"
"Neigh!!" (Are you sure?)
"No - I suppose that would get confusing. Shadowfax it is"
xoxox
"Frodo - are you sure you can trust this man?" George asked. The four hobbits were waiting for Cedric to return "I mean - he scared the crap out of Sam"
"He is trustworthy" Hermione replied "And Sam... well he just wasn't expecting to see him, so don't worry about it"
"Okay, but I still don't like him" He was interrupted as the door opened, and Cedric came in.
"We have horses, food, and water" He announced "So lets go"
xoxox
As she galloped across the land, Luna started singing to herself.
"We're called the Knights Of Rohan, We're have to fight Saruman, Our king and heirs all have red hair, and they like Lyndsey Lohan. It's a busy life in Edoras. We all like wearing Fedoras" She paused "Couldn't they have called it Hogsmeade? That's far easier to rhyme!"
xoxox
"Are we nearly there yet?"
"No! And if you don't stop asking, I am pulling these horses over right now!"
xoxox
"Dun-dada-dun-dada-dun-dada-dun Mithrandir! Dun-dada-dun-dada-dun-dada-dun-dada on shiny Shadowfax!"
xoxox
"Okay - we are going to camp here" Cedric had guided them to the top of Weathertop "It's late, and I think we should wait until morning to travel on"
For a while, they set up camp, then made a small meal around the campfire.
"So - Sam. It's your turn to sing us a song" The twins said.
"Really?" He glanced across at Hermione "Even after Frodo's... effort?"
"Yes" George said "So - come on. Sing!"
"Okay" Harry thought, then shrugged "This is back from where I come from"
Harry was a sweet young boy
In him his parents took great joy
His hair was black, his eyes were green
His beaming smile by all was seen
He had uncles numbered three
Padfoot, Wormtail and Moony
And they loved him, do not doubt that.
'Xcept for Wormtail, he was a tw...
"Language!" Hermione slapped him on the back of the head.
"Sorry Frodo" Harry smirked, then continued.
But long ago, he went away
And where he dwelleth none can say,
For as I will tell in this verse
He was hit with a killing curse...
Harry trailed off, then shook his head.
"Maybe someone else should try" He looked up at Cedric "I am sure you have a story or two to tell"
"Very well" Cedric paused "Let me tell you about Beren and Luthien..."
xoxox
"Mithrandir, Mithrandir, Riding through the lands! Mithrandir, Mithrandir, her staff in her hands! Feared by the bad! Loved far and near! Mithrandir! Mithrandir!"
xoxox
"... and they lived happily ever after. Except when they died" Cedric finished.
"Wow" George exclaimed.
"Cool story" Fred added.
"Isn't it?" Cedric smiled, then his smile faded "We should go"
"Why?"
"Well - it's getting darker, colder and we should try to reach Rivendell soon" He replied, then added "Plus there are four Black Riders coming out of the forest back yonder"
"Oh - well that explains it"
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