FicWad

"Well - it could have been worse" Cedric looked at the hobbits on the ground.

"Yeah. Except for the stabbing part, it went pretty well" Harry smirked "So - how long to Rivendell?"

"A few hours, if we don't get waylaid by the other five Nazgul"

"Oh god!" Fred yelled "There are Black Riders and now we have to deal with Nazgul?"

"The Black Riders are the Nazgul" Hermione replied.

"Oh" Fred nodded "That's okay then"

"We should go" Cedric said "The night is drawing in fast, and we should probably get Frodo to a healer as soon as we can"

"Is it serious?" George asked.

"No - I am" A voice said from behind them. They all jumped, and turned to see an elf on horseback.

"Glorfindel!" Cedric cried, and hugged the newcomer "How did you come here?" Sirius stared down at the horse, then back up at Cedric "Okay - stupid question"

"Elrond sent me - he told me that you were alone in the wilderness with no one to guide you" He looked at Cedric "Except for the Chief of The Rangers who knows this land like the back of his hand" He paused "Do you think Elrond just wanted me out the way?"

xoxox

"Frodo - go" Sirius commanded.

"I don't want to leave my friends behind if they are in danger" Hermione replied.

"They won't be in danger if you go"

"You think that The Black Riders will just let them go once I leave?" She stared at him, and he shook his head.

"Probably not, but go anyway"

"Okay" She smiled "See you in a little while" Then she spurred her horse away, towards the fjords.

xoxox

"I found the other five Riders" Cedric said.

"Yeah" Sirius looked round "Where are they?"

"Waiting for at the fjords"

"Bugger"

xoxox

"Bugger" Hermione looked at the five horsemen waiting for her "Where's the cute elven princess when you need her?"

"You can not escape, Frodo - come with us. It is your..." Whatever else they were about to say was lost in a torrent of water, as the river burst it's banks and swept them all away.

"Well - there's something you don't..." What ever else she was about to say as she fainted dead away.

xoxox

Harry and Luna sat watching Hermione sleep. After Elrond had caused the flood, they had found her lying by the river, sleeping fitfully. They had brought her back, and Elrond had healed her, but she had been asleep for three days.

"Can you wake her?" Harry asked. Luna nodded, then walked over to the bed.

"WAKE UP!!" She yelled. Hermione shot bolt upright, yelled a word that Harry wasn't aware she even knew, then turned and glared at Luna.

"Was that really necessary?"

"No" Luna admitted "But it was fun"

"How long..."

"Four days since you fainted. You are all better, more or less, and you have to prepare for THE COUNCIL OF ELROND" She paused "Well - that hasn't happened in a while"

"Hey - what happened to Arwen?" Hermione said "I thought she was supposed to come rescue me"

"Oh come on" Harry smirked "You can't have girls running around doing heroic things..." He wilted under the twin glares being thrown in his direction "I mean - she was probably busy with her hair or something. You know she and Cedric have a thing"

"Plus she isn't really supposed to appear until the whole United Kingdom thing comes to pass" Luna added "Anyway - time to go"

"Where is the council being held?"

"In the main hall" Luna replied, and they started walking.

"So - what can you tell us about Elrond?" Harry asked.

"He is the Master of Rivendell, very well versed in law and such, a pretty good healer, as Hermione can no doubt verify, and one of the wisest beings in Middle Earth. He, along with his father, mother in law, Saruman and I, set up The White Council to watch for Sauron's return, and he told Cedric that he couldn't have Arwen's hand in marriage until he was king" Luna paused "And he is terminally addicted to lemon drops" She pushed the door open "Master Elrond, may I present Frodo and Samwise of The Shire. Frodo, Sam - Master Elrond"

"It is nice to meet you" Dumbledore replied, smiling down at them "Welcome to my home" Hermione stared at him for a moment, then turned to Luna, who was smirking.

"Seriously?"

"Yup"

"Okay" She turned back to the Headmaster "So - where are the others?"

"They are waiting in the main hall" Dumbledore replied "Shall we go?"

As they walked along, Hermione pulled Luna back.

"So - any other surprises?"

"Maybe"

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Maybe"

"I hate you"

"I know"

xoxox

"My friends, I am pleased to welcome Frodo, daughter of Drogo, and Samwise, son of Hamfast" Dumbledore lead them in to the main hall, then stood aside. Hermione and Harry came to a dead stop. Stood in front of them was Cedric, George, Fred and Sirius, along with Draco, Percy and Neville. All of them bowed as Hermione entered, then moved to sit round a table.

"Frodo?"

"Yes Sam?"

"Do you have any idea who's who?"

"No Sam"

"Swell"

xoxox

"So - I would like you all to introduce yourselves, so that we all know who is who" Luna announced as they took their seats round the table "My name is Gandalf, and I am an alcohol... no - wait. That was last week's meeting. My name is Gandalf, and I am a wizard. I like riding horses, killing Dark Lords and generally interfering in other people's lives" She paused "I am here because you are probably all going to die without me" She frowned "But also because Saruman has betrayed us, and so The Gap Of Rohan isn't safe any more"

"Saruman?" Harry asked "Betrayed us?"

"He was once one of the inner circle" Luna replied "With Celeborn, Galadriel, Elrond and I, but he was scared by the rise of The Dark Lord, and sold us out" She frowned "The little rat" She saw the expression on Harry's face "I am so sorry"

"Don't worry" Harry smiled "I am sure he will get his in the end" He turned to Hermione "Go ahead"

"My name is Frodo. I am a hobbit, and for some reason I volunteered for this" She glanced at her friend "This is Samwise, and he is my best friend and is coming with me"

"I am Merry" Fred said.

"I thought I was Merry" George replied. They stared at each other, then shrugged.

"We are Merry and Pippin" Fred replied "And we are here because we didn't want to send our cousins off alone" They turned to Percy.

"My name is Boromir, son of Denathor. I am here because my father bid me come" He paused "I had a dream, and it lead me here" He got a faraway look on his face "This guy was singing about broken swords, magic and Handy Doom... and now you are all staring at me as if I am crazy"

"Well - my name is Legolas" Draco looked around "I too was sent here by my father, to tell you that Gollumn has escaped" He sighed "I told my father not to let him walk around the grounds, but would he listen? No!" He looked around "Sorry - family issues"

"I am Gimli, son of Gloin, who went with Bilbo to hunt down a dragon" Neville announced "And my father sent me, because we have been visited by Black Riders, and we wanted to know what was going on"

"I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn, heir of Isildur, Heir of Elendil" Cedric said, standing up. He pulled out a package and put it on the desk, and opened it "This is the sword that was broken"

"And the Handy Doom?"

"Frodo - take out the ring" Luna said softly. Frodo nodded, and pulled out the chain round her neck "This is the one ring, lost so many years ago. But now The Dark Lord wants it back"

"How do you know?" Percy asked "I mean - my mother had a gold ring on her wedding day, and you don't see me saying 'Woah! Scary ring! Bad! Evil! Wrong!' do you?" He paused again "I'm just saying"

"Very well" Dumbledore stood up "I had hoped to bypass telling the whole history of Middle Earth, but since you seem to doubt that we are right - here goes"

xoxox

The history of Middle Earth, as heard by Frodo and Samwise :-

There was this big scary dude, who challenged the gods, and kind of won, then he lost when the gods regrouped and came in mob-handed. They won, but kind of destroyed half the world in the process. But then they banished him, but his best servant escaped, and started his own reign of terror, and also, for some reason, went in to making jewellery. After he sunk an island, he returned to his hiding place, and gave out the rings to his enemies, so they would come under his power.

A few eons afterwards, the elves and men got together and kicked his ass, but then the oldest son took the most powerful ring in the world, because he was a bit of a moron, and then lost it when someone killed him. The ring stayed at the bottom of a river for ever and ever, until it was found by a young hobbit like creature named Smegol, who was the youngest son in a family of six boys and a girl, and became a jealous, greedy little git (though his family didn't really notice the difference), and went in to hiding. But, on the upside, also wrote a lot of good recipes for goblin pie.

xoxox

Hermione was staring in surprise as Dumbledore finished his story. Then she leaned over to Harry.

"We have a minor problem" He looked at her questioningly "You know the whole end of the quest thing?" Harry paused, then nodded "Well - guess who we are going to be guided by?" Harry stared at her, his eyes widening "Well - we will cross that river when we come to it"

"That still doesn't prove anything" Percy was whining. Luna gazed at him for a moment, then shrugged.

"Well - if you hold the ring in the fire, there are shiny letters that appear" She stared at the young man "Do you want to try it?" Percy looked at the ring, then at the remarkably hot fire, then back at the ring, then back at Luna.

"Okay. I believe you" Percy sat down again.

"So - what do we do?"

"Send it to Mount Doom to destroy it" Elrond said.

"Okay" Draco said "I vote we send the hobbits. They look expendable" He paled at the looks he received, which was quite impressive given how fair he was to start with "I just volunteered to go, didn't I?"

"We are sending nine, since there are nine Black Riders" Dumbledore declared "And since there are nine of you here, I say we have our Fellowship. All in favour say aye"

"Aye"

"What about the twins?" Luna stared at them "Don't they seem a little... immature to go?"

"Possibly" Dumbledore admitted "But if I have to put up with one more PPP prank, I am going to throw them in to Mount Doom myself"

xoxox

Later that night, Hermione and Sam watched as Cedric went to say good-bye to Arwen.

"Well - that makes sense" Harry said softly.

"Are you okay?" Hermione asked him.

"Yeah - it was just a crush. I think she'd rather be with him anyway" He paused "You look concerned"

"I just never thought I would hear a Scottish accent in Middle Earth" They both continued to watch as Cedric said farewell to his one true love.

xoxox

(scenes from the long march south)

"Why didn't we get horses?" Draco asked "This wind is hell on my complexion"

xoxox

"Merry! Pippin! Stop making snow angels and get back on the path!"

xoxox

"Gandalf - why can't you melt the snow?" Hermione asked.

"I need fuel to burn - I can't burn water!"

"But, can't you just do this..." She took hold of Luna's arms and pointed them at the nearest snow bank "INCENDIO!" A bolt of blue/green fire shot out of Luna's staff and smashed in to the mountain side.

There was a few moments pause.

"Well - there's something you don't see every day" Draco remarked.

"You blew the side of the mountain off?" Neville exclaimed. They all turned and stared at Hermione.

"Ooops?" There was a moments pause, then she added "I wonder where it went?"

xoxox

(Meanwhile, in Narnia)

Lucy Pevensie peered round the lamp-post at the large slab of rock in front of her.

"Mr Tumnus?"

xoxox

"Good god, where is this snow coming from?" Fred asked.

"It is the enemy!" Draco exclaimed.

"No - it is the mountain!" Neville yelled back.

"No - it is the enemy!!"

"Mountain!!"

"It is the gourd! The holy gourd!!" Hermione yelled out.

"No - it is the shoe!!" Harry replied.

"What the hell are you two on about?" Percy asked.

"Never mind"

xoxox

"To Lothlorien we must go, must chose - above, around, below" Luna sang as they walked along.

"What?" Fred asked.

"Well - we can go over the mountain, under the mountain or around the mountain. We just have to make up our mind" She looked up at the darkening sky "We can't go over, and we can't go around..."

"We are going to Moria?" Cedric asked. When Luna nodded, Draco, Cedric, Neville and Percy all shivered. George watched them for a moment, then turned to Hermione.

"Who's Moira?"

xoxox

(a few minutes later)

"You want to take us to a place who's name translates as 'The Scary Black Pit Of Doom, Destruction And Death'?" Fred yelled "Are you crazy?"

"Well duh!" Luna replied "But it's that or camp here until the summer comes"

"Very well - we will go" Cedric replied "But heed this last warning. It is not of the ring, nor of these others that I am thinking now, but of you, Gandalf. And I say to you - if you pass the doors of Moria, beware!"

"Oh come on!" Luna smirked "It's not like I am going to have to fight a huge mythical creature that will eventually kill me and send you all fleeing for your lives now, is it?"