Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Motorcycle
Reviews
Motorcycle
(#) twilliams1797 2008-06-29
Love the story, please take this as encouragement to continue.. I too, am wondering about the reasoning behind Remus' behavior, and if he will have any conscience concerning that, and how molly's marauders take it.. We need to let Harry and Hermione know what and who they are working against.. it's convenient that they have a TT to get free of any lingering influence of potions, etc.
Hopefully constructive criticism:
sometimes your sentences are a bit ...'clunky' This isn't saying they're bad, just that they need tweaking a bit..
second.. the thought or action is a bit abrupt..
Don't let my comments stop you from continuing, you do have a potentially great story here, and it would be a shame to let it lie.. I, certainly will be looking forward to it.
TimWMotorcycle
(#) twilliams1797 2008-06-29
Now, if Harry and Hermione could swing by Neville's place and get him hooked up with a nice bike, say an older Kawasaki ninja, and as his girl, Luna.. sweeet!
like I said.. Good storyMotorcycle
(#) whatareyouevensaying 2008-06-29
Very good update. I'm torn between wanting Neville to be safe and wanting the Order to realize how big of a mistake they're making by using him like that.
Looking forward to more.Motorcycle
(#) lycus 2008-06-29
That was an excellent chapter, and it is intresting to see remus as the bad guy, even going back to the days of the marauders. but the harry and hermione stuff was great, but there were parts where harry claimed hermione as his girlfriend and others where she was just his friend who he is attracted to. and I hope that neville who has been observing people for years figures out that certain people are trying to manipulate him, or I hope that his granmother finds out.Motorcycle
(#) DavidMPotter 2008-06-29
I really like this fic! Bravo! I look forward to Harry and Hermione getting many more memory strands. They should ask for Gobbledegook, Dueling rituals, battle magic, swordsmanship, Rune magic, Animagus, Advanced Tranfiguation, Advanced Charmes, Healing, Dark Magic, and Mind Arts.Motorcycle
(#) blair2818 2008-06-29
I like this story so far kinda want too see why Remus is acting this way, but it should be good.Motorcycle
(#) GryffindorDragon 2008-07-01
This is quite interesting. Keep it coming. But I'm a bit surprised that two teenagers who are attracted to each other and don't seem to have any qualms about sex outside marriage have been so platonic.Motorcycle
(#) Jimbocous 2008-07-02
Good story so far. Several interesting plot aspects, and some unique ideas. Great stuff; keep up the good work. Thanks!
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