- There are some spelling errors that jar the reader a bit, but the overall chapter is good and engrossing read. I do hope that Harry can get together with his Hermione and then the two of them learn all they can in this new, steam-powered, world before they find a way to return to theirs. I'm sure that, esp. if the trans-worldline portal aloows travel in time, too, they'll come as a very rude shock to their opponents, both Tommy and his boys and Dumbles and his boys, and a new force that finally brings an end to the warfare.
(#) jabarber69 2008-07-06Hey interesting story! I got to tell ya though I kinda passed over this couple times at first cause of the name, I'm not familiar with steam punk is that anime? but anyway if you created this world or is using anime it was really interesting. I wonder though is hermione ever gonna get back to her world?
Author's responseSteampunk or steam punk is a reference to a style of fantasy writing. It can be any media but is normally written or drawn. An example is the movie Steamboy. The important part is that the main power source used is steam power and the internal combustion generally not used or is a curiosity. enjoy the story.
- I like the idea behind the story very unique for HP. I had not heard of Steampunk until a few weeks ago. I have a friend who is planning a steampunk wedding.
That said,The only thing that takes away from the flow and my enjoyment is your spelling. A beta could correct these very quickly, a spell checker would not.
- Well, I commented above when this story first came out, so let me now address various mis-spellings that disturb the flow of reading:
"...on you part." should be "...on your part."
"...Harry, he does not use Harold. I am not sure what his proper name. Is..." reads better as "...Harry, he does not use Harold and I am not sure what is his proper name, is..."
"...Sandhurst, Britannia premier military academy." needs an apostrophe and s - "...Sandhurst, Britannia's premier military academy."
A repeat here, it's "Harold Jamison Evans Potter", not "Harold Jamison Even Potter"
“That was a simply will, can anyone challenge the will? How will this affect your management of the Potter accounts, assuming you willing to that is.” scans badly; try “That was a simply will, can anyone challenge the will? How will this affect your management of the Potter accounts? Assuming you willing to that is.”
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