FicWad

{Disclaimer : This is a work of pure fiction. The initial setup is based on a real life situation, however - as someone once said - the moment you start writing it is always fiction. This should not be construed as my views on the people involved, and the situations that develop are purely developed for the purpose of telling a story, rather than because they reflect reality}
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{As the opening credits play the camera swoops over Crown Way in wide swooshy loops. In a somewhat misguided attempt to make the location look sexier than it is the camera does lots of flashy loops and swooshy moves, eventually settling in a "landing" type motion infront of the front door to Unit 3-2 . In big bold black letters the words}

"Gemini Software Inc"

{then, in slightly smaller letters}

"Staring"

{the names come up but the bits in brackets don't. They are only for reference in the script since it was quicker than typing all the names out all the time}

"Leo Burrows (LB)"
"David Bonnie (DB)"
"Philip Chambers (PHC)"
"Peter Chase (PC)"
"Bradley Pursglove (BP)"
"Amy Garner (AG)"
"Michael Garner (MG)"
"Jack Harris (JH)"
"Andrew Jenkins (AJ)"
"Gary Jones (GJ)"
"Tony McLellan (TM)"
"Daniel McCormack (DM)"
"Charles Sales (CS)"
"Frank Smithson (FS)"
"Jessica Summers (JS)"
"Tony Summers (TS)"
"John Taylor (JT)"
"Robert Taylor (RT)"
"Steven Tomlinson (ST)"
"Ian Weston (IW)"
"Nigel Wheeler (NW)"
"Tony Williams (TW)"

and

"Eloise Jensen (EJ)"

{behind each credit comes a picture of the character from one of the episodes in the series. I will leave the pictures to your imaginations for now. After the last credit is done the screen fades to black for a second and the words}

"Episode 4 - If Life Were Like The Movies"

{appear. Then the episode starts and the "guest credits" appear as the show begins. Think Buffy/Andromeda for what I mean. Also - the brackets thing applies again}

"Guest Staring : Danielle Ray (DR), Kirsten Harris (KH)"

{The scene opens at the office. A little clock in the corner reads 5:30pm. GJ/DM/IW/LB/AJ/PHC/RT are still working away and there is very little chatter going on. The scene fades then re-opens on the same situation, but the little clock says 6:30pm. This happens a third time but the clock says 7:30pm}

LB : {thought vo} That's enough. I am hungry {outloud} Guys I need something to eat. Does anyone want to come to the supermarket or should we order in?

AJ : Is there anywhere good round here?

DM : There's a pizza place just down the road. They do a pretty nice selection. {stands up and goes in to the kitchen and comes back holding a menu} and I just happen to have a menu

AJ : Are there any rules about the eating in the office thing?

IW : Its not really advised, but there is a stereo in the server room and the conference room is large enough to hold us all.

AJ : You have put way too much thought in to this. You know that don't you?

LB : So I am guessing Pizza? {everyone nods and he turns to AJ} Will the management cover this?

AJ : Yeah - there is a petty cash box we can raid if we get receipts. So - what are we ordering?

{The scene fades to black then comes up later with the development staff in the conference room. Some random music is playing in the background and they are all eating various shades of pizza}

GJ : We should do this more often

IW : What? Work this late?

GJ : No - have pizza breaks at work.

LB : I will suggest it at the next review.

AJ : So where is everyone up to? Danny?

DM : Nearly there I think. The rest of it should not take too long

IW : About the same

PHC : Nowhere near close. There is a bug somewhere in the project edit code thats causing chaos

RT : I am about the same. I don't want to speak ill of anyone but the code is all over the place. Trying to find out what does what is really hard and fixing it.... bwah!

LB : Well I think I am as far as I can get for the moment. I can give you a hand if you want.

RT : Thanks

LB : You know what would be good? If the whole night could pass like one of those montages you get in the movies. So we just get random pictures of us working and the like. Then suddenly we could skip to the part where we are all done and going home {off everyone elses looks} What? I know you were all thinking the same thing.

{Scene fades then comes back up. They are all hard at work again and the clock in the corner says 8:00pm. Camera moves over to IW's desk. IW is staring at his monitor}

IW : {thought VO} What is that line doing there? And where does it go? I swear this is worse than that Greek guy in the maze with the bull.... {the picture does the wibbly thing established as going from Present to somewhere else [this will be decided at some point btw, but since we are way before production it can be a bit vauge for now!] and suddenly we see IW stood outside a big stone structure. It is a representation of The Labyrinth in Knosos. Suddenly a guy in black cloak appears with a scythe. It is meant to be Death, but looks somewhat like BP}

Death/BP : Mr Weston - you have dared to come. What do you want?

IW : You know what I want.

BP : Then you have but one hour to find it before you are lost forever. {Vanishes in a puff of smoke}

IW : {thought vo} Great. {looks around} How do I get in? {outloud} Hey Death?

BP : {reappears in a flash of light} What?

IW : Where's the door?

BP : {pauses} Why should I tell you?

IW : If you don't this whole thing is going to be very short

BP : {pauses again} I guess that would be no fun. I am meant to tell you the door lies in your heart and when you look for it it will become visible

IW : What does that mean?

BP : Its over there {points to where a door has just appeared}

IW : Thanks {sets off, and we here the puff of smoke even if we don't see it}

{when he reaches the door he pushes it open with a really loud forboding creek}

IW : That sounds good {goes inside and is confronted with your typical maze setup. Walls, passages, sometimes doors and so on. He wanders around for a bit then encounters a guard who looks kind of like GJ} Ok - where did you come from?

Guard/GJ : I have always been here.

IW : No you haven't. Anyway - what are you guarding?

GJ : I have no idea. But if you go that way you might get out faster {vanishes by fading}

IW : Thanks {to himself} that was odd. Then again what isn't? {walks off in the direction GJ pointed and notices some marks on the ground} {thought vo} What are they? Stack calls? Are you kidding me? {starts to follow the path the marks are making. He is not totally looking where he is going (cause he is staring at the floor) and smacks in to a wall. When he sits up PC (dressed as a guard) is staring at him}

Guard/PC : Bwahahahaha. What was that for?

IW : Not concentrating I guess. What are you doing here?

PC : Oh you know - what I normally do.

IW : I can see that. {Turns and looks for the path. Its gone} Did you see where that path went?

PC : Nope. Try going back to the beginning. {Vanishes by "orbing" (Charmed/Whitelighter stuff)}

IW : Ok. {Looks around and the path is back and not going through a wall} That's good.

{Follows the path and finds himself in the centre of the maze. He can see a glowing object on the central pillar but between that and him there is a big, big minator. I mean really big - think Empire State Building big}

IW : Bugger.

Bull : {deep imposing voice, think evil sounding James Earl Jones} What do you want?

IW : Erm - that shiny thing?

Bull : Why?

IW : {pauses} I have no idea actually. {Turns to leave then stops as the Bull speaks again}

Bull : Take it {the shiny thing - it turns out to be a key - flies over to IW who catches it}

IW : Thanks... but why?

Bull : Cause you have been daydreaming too long and Andrew is calling you

{The scene snaps back to IW infront of his monitor. Suddenly he looks at one bit of code, and we see him start typing rapidly}

IW : {thought vo} So that's the key.....

{The scene fades and the words "End Of Part 1" appear}

{Commercial Break}

{Advert 1 : Worried your offspring is too smart? Scared your child might end up a brain? Send them to Model Behaviour and watch in wonder as they become brain-dead barbie and ken-dolls!}

{Advert 2 : Watch Alias on C4. Don't worry about letting your kids see it - just because it contains torture, murder and pain don't think its not a kids show!}

{End of Commercial Break}

{The screen shows "Part Two" and fades up on DM looking at his screen. The clock shows 8:30pm}

DM : {thought vo} Oh god this is boring. I have not been this bored since Jess made me see Phantom Menace four times in a row. Once was too much but this.... why could they not go back to the start?

{As you will have guessed the screen does the wibbly thing again and when we return to DM he is wearing a typical Luke Skywalker cosutme and standing in the middle of the desert on what you will hopefully recognise as Tatooine}

Luke/DM : {thought vo} Farm life is so dull. I hope an adventure comes along.

{Just then R2D2 drops out of the sky infront of him. DM looks shocked them C3P0 drops out of the sky behind him}

DM : {thought vo} Whats going on? Is it raining robots? {The robot from Forbidden Planet falls to the ground just behind C3P0} I guess so {Turns to C3P0 who looks remarkably like IW} Hello

3P0/IW : Hi. Are you looking for an adventure? {R2D2 who looks kind of like TM beeps} Yes - I was getting to that. So - do you want to rescue a princess?

DM : Ok - I've got nothing better to do I suppose. {The shot changes to DM/IW/TM on the Falcon, piloted by AJ (in a Han Solo costume of course) and assisted by Chewie looking somewhat like TW. DM turns to see Yoda (who looks a lot like LB) in the corner} What are you doing here?

Yoda/LB : Afford Alec Guiness we could not. Train you must.

DM : Why - we are going to arrive soon and you can't die cause you are needed in the next two films

LB : Smartass you are

{The scene changes again to them entering the detention cell. DM goes in to find the Princess who looks exactly like KH. Because she is KH}

Princess/KH : Who the hell are you?

DM : I am Danny. I am here to rescue you

KH : Fair enough. {Gets up and follows him. As they exit the detention cell they run in to the Emperor (BP) and Grand Moff Tarkin (JH)}

Grand Moff/JH : Honey? Where are you going?

DM : {Turning to look at KH} Honey?

KH : Oh that's right. To get him off my back about the rebels I married him. Oops.

DM : Everyone makes mistakes {pulls out his lightsaber} En Guarde!

JH : {pulls out his lightsaber} Oh speak english. {They fight - it goes on for a long while with much heroics and acrobatics and - most likely - lots of stunt doubles and cgi. It ends when LB sneaks up behind JH and knocks him out} (1)

LB : Piss taking with the acrobatics you are.

DM : And I suppose talking like that makes perfect sense? {They all rush out back to the ship and blast off}

KH : Well - that all ended happily I guess

DM : Yeah - but don't you think we got away too easily? {Sees KH smiling} Obviously not. Oh well - ignorance is bliss I guess.... {the scene snaps back to the office and he notices LB is staring at him} Sorry... I guess..

LB : Daydreaming you were.

DM : Stop it. Stop it now {smiles as LB looks at him in confusion}

{The scene fades slightly then comes back up on LB at his desk. The clock shows 9:15pm}

LB : {thought vo} Does she still think I want her? Does he still think that? What about Pinky? Oh - this is too complicated....

{Another wibbly wobbly thing and the scene changes to LB standing in what appears to be Tara (from Gone With The Wind). He is dressed as Rhett Butler but without the cigar. DR enters dressed as Scarlett O'Hara}.

Scarlett/DR : Oh Leo. I was wrong. Peter doesn't want me. Not the same way you do

{Behind her PC enters as Ashley Wilkes}

PC : That's not true. I do want her

LB : So Dani - what's it to be? Do you want me or do you want him?

DR : Oh Leo - I want you. I always wanted you. Peter is a poor shadow of you

PC : I am standing right here you know

LB : My dear, frankly give a damn I do not. {Realises they are staring at him a bit oddly} Sorry - Frankly my dear I don't give a damn. You left. You moved on. You skipped town. You...

DR : Okay - I get the idea. But do you have any better options?

LB : {See's someone behind her although all we get is a vauge figure in the background} I think I do. {Walks over to the shadowy figure} Pinky?

Shadow : Perky

LB : How come I can't see you

Shadow : We have not met yet. You don't really know how to picture me

LB : I guess that explains it. {Turns to see DR looking downcast and PC looking livid} Cheer up you two. After all - another day, tomorrow is. {Pause} Damn it!

{The scene shifts back and LB is smiling to himself}

LB : I guess that sorts a few things out {returns to coding and continues typing}

{The scene fades to black. The words "End Of Part Two" come up}

{Commercial Break}

{Advert 1 : C4 have decided to become "program dealers". They get you hooked on free samples (Six Feet Under, The West Wing) then force you to pay for the next series if you want it at once. Is this really ethical broadcasting?}

{Trailer : "Its time for the first release of Val-Net but Leo has other things on his mind... Find out next week in "Seven Meetings Before Home Time"}

{End of Commercial Break}

{The words "Part Three" come up}

{RT is staring at his screen as lines of code stream up it. (This never happens in real life, but how many people out there know that?) The clock shows 9:45pm. As the camera turns round we can see his face (with no code reflected on it - there are only so many laws of physics I am prepared to shatter in one show) and he is clearly not concentrating on the screen}

RT : {Thought vo} Its nearly her birthday. I can't believe I don't get to spend her birthday with her. Its just not right. If only her parents would not keep treating me like they don't trust me then I would not have to sneak around behind their backs......

{Final wibbly thing of the night and we see RT stood on a balcony dressed in Shakespearian dress. (Not a dress, just dress)} (2)

Romeo/RT : Amy - oh Amy. Wherefore art thou Amy?

Juliet/AG : Down here. Can't you see me?

RT : No - wherefore means why, not where. {Off her puzzled looks} As in where is the reason that you are called Amy (3)

AG : Cause my parents thought Amelia sounded very nice but I like Amy better.

RT : You are not getting this are you honey?

AG : Do you want to start again? {RT nods} Ok - I will be quiet this time

RT : Amy - oh Amy. Wherefore art thou Amy? If thou wouldst deny thy name and.. and stop being a Garner then I would be thine forever {Sees her staring at him attentively} Ok - I'm done

AG : Oh Robert - if thou wouldst tell me that thou lovest me then I would give up my father and renounce my name. I would find it hard to receive mail at first but I think we could sort that out (4)

RT : Then - wouldst thou let me come to thy party of your birth?

AG : I wouldst hopest that thou wouldst... ok - can we stop with the flowery language now. Its really annoying

RT : Okay. So - are you ready to come out of the shadows yet?

AG : Its the middle of the day. There are... oh. I get it. I don't know. My parents like you. They do

RT : What? Then why can't we.....

AG : They don't like you that much honey. And the whole catching us together thing was a bad mark.

RT : So you want us to keep sneaking about behind their backs? That will make it better?

AG : I think if we tell them now it would not go well for us. We are better off waiting

RT : You do know where this fantasy comes from? But - sweetie - I would rather have you in secret than us be apart.

AG : That was the sweetest thing you have ever said. But pick a better word than have next time {smiles}

{The screen shifts to the office where RT is still staring at the screen, but this time he is smiling. The clock says 10:15pm. He types a few things in then turns round. (Just to make it clear we are back in to reality now!}

RT : Guys - I'm done. Whose it going?

PCH : Me too.

IW : Two seconds... Okay - that's it

DM : I'm finished

GJ : I think its done - needs a test

LB : I am done but I need everyone elses stuff to test the integration upgrade

AJ : Okay - five minutes everyone books all their stuff in and let Leo test it. Its.. {looks at his watch} its way too late but I want him to have finished the integration testing by 10:30 if possible.

LB : Shouldn't be a problem.

{The scene fades then comes back up. The clock reads 10:45pm}

LB : Okay. I am happy. Andrew?

AJ : If you are happy then I am happy. You are sure the integration is working properly?

LB : All my standard test runs are fine. If you want I can go in to the minute details but honestly nothing we have changed tonight is big enough to warrant that.

AJ : You are sure?

LB : Andrew - I know what is going on tomorrow. The demo is important. I get that. And I would not be saying what I was saying if I wasn't sure. Its ready. I can not promise perfection but I can say that what they are set to demonstrate tomorrow will work.

AJ : That's all I wanted to hear. Guys - thank you. You can all go home. I know you won't like it but I need you all back in tomorrow for 9am - half an hour before the demo. But I have talked to Brad and you can all finish at lunch time and start at 11 the day after. Leo - can you compile it all and give me a release copy. Then that's it for the night

{The scene pulls out to show the staff packing up, LB doing something, then everyone but AJ leaving. He stands up and turns off his computer. He walks over, turns out the lights and leaves. The camera holds for a moment then the screen fades to black and the words "Executive Producer - Sammy Wrae" come up on the screen. Then the closing credits role, detailing the people who made this possible. But you can live without knowing their names for now, can't you?}
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{This is a shooting script for GSI/E4. As such there might be changes in the final broadcast not included here}

{Note : Any characters etc that are not mine remain the property of their original creators or whoever now owns them} (from Greek Mythology, The Star Wars Films, Gone With The Wind and Romeo and Juliet)

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1) The lightsaber fight Lightly mocking Episode 2, and after I had written this I realised Grand Moff Tarken never picked up a lightsaber, but it was too late to do anything about it.

2) Robert on the balcony Another one of those things I overlooked during writing.

3) "Wherefore"/"Right here" A common mistake.

4) "renounce my name" Based on a scene from a Next Gen book, where Data speculates about how you would attract the attention of someone with no name.