Categories > Celebrities > Guns n' Roses > Halloween Queens

Part V

by littlemissbrownstone 2 reviews

In which worries are revealed, fears are explored and our heroines find themselves face to face with something so evil it may stop them going to the party altogether…

Category: Guns n' Roses - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor - Published: 2008-07-07 - Updated: 2008-07-07 - 1719 words - Complete

They were already late for the party but they didn't care. They were not going to show up looking as good as they did and not be able to walk. Duff was acting like a runway coach for models as he yelled instructions to the others while they walked back and forth in their living room.

"Axl don't tip toe! Steven, straighten those ankles up! Slash stop taking baby steps! Izzy your skirt's too short!"

They had all been poking fun at Izzy and his scandalously skimpy skirt. The guitar player bit his tongue and put up with it, he held his head up with pride as he strutted his stuff in those heels. He was now a pro at this, along with Axl. No more injuries for those two. The same couldn't be said for Steven and Slash, but they had some suggestions for the problem.

"I've got an idea!" Slash said as Steven pulled him up off the floor for the millionth time, "Me and Steven could just get really drunk before going to the party. That way, we'll have an excuse for walking like this!"

Duff pondered this for a moment.

"That's actually not a bad idea." The bassist replied, "Ok, get into the kitchen and get yourselves hammered."

The two hopeless ones stumbled into the kitchen to get off their faces while Axl walked over to the mirror to check his make up and adjust his hair. Izzy's worry came back and he thought he might as well share it with Axl.

"Axl you're too pretty." He blurted out.

The singer turned around with somewhat of a shocked expression on his face. Izzy immediately blushed when he realised what he had said.

"I mean you look really hot!" That was worse! He screwed his face up and mentally kicked himself.

"Leave him alone Izzy, that's Steven's job!" Duff said.

Axl just kept on staring at Izzy. The guitarist carefully thought of how to say what he wanted to say without coming on to his best friend again.

"Looking at how good you look in that dress makes me think..." He was interrupted by Duff giggling.

"What exactly are you thinking of when you look at Axl?" He asked with a sly grin. "And will you be needing a tissue?"

Axl felt really weird at this moment and it showed on his face.

"Ignore Nurse Fuckface over there," Izzy said to the scared singer, "I was just thinking, if I think you look good what will all the other guys at the party think? What if someone tries to come on to us?"

"Izzy if some guy comes on to you, do what you always do." Duff grinned, "Bend over."

Izzy held his breath and counted to five in his head to keep himself from lunging at the blonde and then looked to Axl, who was carefully considering this likely possibility.

"We deck them." The singer suggested.

"You really think you could take someone while wearing a dress and 12-inch heels?" Izzy asked.

Duff and Axl stared at the guitarist for a moment.

"Ok well you could but I sure as fuck could not!" Izzy stated.

"Wouldn't you be at an advantage with those heels?" Duff pointed out.

Izzy didn't think so. He flopped down onto the couch and gasped at the cold feeling on his ass. Axl walked over and sat down next to him.

"If anyone gives you trouble tonight, just come and find me or Duff. Sorted."

Izzy still felt uneasy but he trusted Axl.

"Ok." Izzy nodded in agreement, "Duff can give them some lethal injection and you could clean up afterwards."

The three men burst into fits of laughter. At the same time Slash and Steven strolled into the room. Proof that the latter two musicians were more than dependant on their alcohol, came with the fact that they could now walk perfectly in their shoes. The pair strutted over to the couch and stopped directly in front of Axl and struck their sexiest pose.

"Are you guys ready?" The singer asked, laughing at his smashed friends.

All he got in return was a couple of shaky nods and dopey smiles.


The party was being held in a large mansion on top of a hill. It was decorated to look like a haunted house and the unkempt front lawn made to look like a graveyard. To add to the scariness, graves had been dug in front of some of the gravestones, some occupied by dummies, or what the boys thought were dummies.

It was a long walk through this gloomy graveyard and as they walked past one grave in particular the corpse inside suddenly sat up and screamed like a banshee.

"AAAAAAAGH!" Steven jumped up into Izzy's arms wrapping his own around the guitarist's neck, shaking with terror.

The corpse gave out a sinister laugh and slowly lay back down again. Izzy dropped Steven onto the grass making the blonde land with a thud and scowl up at his friends, rubbing his sore ass.

"Didn't that scare you?" The shock seemed to have sobered him up.

"No," Duff replied, "This is so stupid, the party better not be as shit as this crapyard."

They walked on a few steps until out of nowhere a fleet of bats flew past them, causing Slash to shriek and flay his arms wildly above his head, narrowly missing Axl's face.

"They're in my hair! Get them out of my hair! Get them away from me!" He cried out.

"Relax Scooby!" Axl tried to calm the guitarist and fix his skewed veil.

"This is so childish! I'm about to turn around and go the fuck home!" Duff scoffed at his frightened friend.

"We haven't even got there yet!" Izzy grabbed the bassist's shoulders and swung him back round in the right direction, forcing him to keep walking

They had almost got to the patio when a man dressed as a mummy, wrapped from head to toe in toilet paper, ran past them, almost knocking them down like bowling pins. Axl was completely caught off guard and fell into a nearby grave. The mummy disappeared behind the house, making muffled noises with streams of toilet paper flowing behind him.

Slash, Duff, Steven and Izzy all peered down into the grave in which their singer now lay. It was too deep for them to reach in and simply pull him out. The maid looked up at them with wide, petrified eyes. Axl's worst fear was being buried alive and he found himself feeling very claustrophobic right now.

"How are we gonna get him out?" Slash started panicking along with the red head.

Izzy yelled down into the grave to his friend.

"Ax get up off the ground, you're gonna get your dress all dirty!" This didn't help but the singer obeyed.

Duff noticed a dummy hanging by a noose, which was suspended from the patio roof. He quickly went over to it, released the dummy and unhooked the rope. He walked back over to the grave and lowered it down to Axl.

"I'm already bored of this." Duff sighed as the shaky singer climbed up the rope and into Slash's arms.

They nervously made their way onto the patio and Duff returned the hanging dummy to its original position. The patio was covered with cotton wool cobwebs and rubber spiders. The large front door of the mansion looked worn and withered and there was an antique looking doorknocker in the middle of it in the shape of a skull. In the corner was a large barrel of candy for trick or treaters, which Steven was helping himself to. Izzy was about to knock on the door when all of a sudden a voice bellowed from the doorknocker and the skull's eyes glowed red.

"Who dares wake me from my slumber?" The voice yelled, "Ye who seeks entrance to this party must suffer a punishment for this offence."

They all looked at eachother and Duff rolled his eyes. They decided they'd play along.

"Ok." Izzy said, feeling kind of stupid talking to a doorknocker.

"Ye must answer my riddle." Said the skull, "Failure to do so and ye will be denied access to this party."

"Poor Izzy," Steven cooed, "Even a doorknocker won't spread for him!"

Izzy ignored the drummer and agreed to this riddle nonsense.

"What's the riddle?" The guitarist asked, impatient to get inside.

The skull paused before it spoke again.

"A black dog is sleeping in the middle of a black road that has no streetlights and there is no moon.
A car coming down the road with its lights off steers around the dog.
How did the driver know the dog was there?"

The boys stared at the skull, dumbfounded.

"This is so stupid." Duff grumbled.

"The driver had super night vision?" Axl suggested, scratching his head.

Nothing happened.

"Oh I know!" Steven yelped, "The driver was drunk and swerving all over the place!"

Nothing happened.

"The dog stank and the driver sensed it with his sense of smell?" Izzy proposed.

Nothing happened.

Slash couldn't take this anymore. He started banging his fists against the door and yelling at the doorknocker.

"Let us in you asshole! We did not get our legs waxed, eyebrows plucked, nails manicured and hair and make up done to be turned down at the fucking door by some fucking doorknocker!"

The guitarist was pulled away from the door by Duff, who stepped up to the door, coming face to face with the bastard skull. The bassist quietly answered the riddle.

"It was daytime."

The others looked on in shock as the red in the skull's eyes disappeared and the door slowly creaked open on its own. Duff turned to face his stunned friends.

"All that shit was supposed to be scary? I can't believe you guys! Frightened of kids pranks!"

The others didn't move.

"Well? Are you going in or not?"

They quickly scurried past Duff and into the house. Once they were in the bassist looked back over the graveyard and shook his head at the audacity of it all. The sudden sound of a wolf howling made the blonde jump and let out a shriek and he ran into the house, the door shutting behind him.

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