FicWad

"Who's there?" A soldier in the livery of Rohan approached the four travelers as they rode up to The Golden Hall "Oh - it's you. You are not welcome here, by orders of The King"

Cedric turned to Luna with a questioning look.

"What did you do?" He asked.

"Nothing" She paused "Except I stole a horse" She paused again "And possibly wrote SAURON SUCKS in big letters in the grass" She paused for a third time "And I might have accidentally burned down part of the village" They stared at her "It was a lumos spell that got out of control"

"Is that all?" Cedric asked with a smirk.

"Yes" She paused "I also insulted their MC, who, now I come to think of it, seems to be deciding who comes and goes" She shrugged "But seriously - that's all" They continued to stare at her in disbelief "I promise - aside from theft, vandalism, arson and being excessively rude to the person who controls the comings and goings of the king, and who most people now assume is, in fact, running the kingdom in his master's stead, I did nothing wrong"

Cedric stared at her for a moment, then turned back to Hama.

"So - if we leave her outside, can we come in?"

"Sure"

xoxox

A few moments later, Draco, Cedric and Neville were stood in front of the king, who was kneeling on the floor, fiddling with something that Cedric didn't recognise. Also present, flanking the king, were a red-headed girl and a man with greasy black hair and an unusually long nose.

"What do you want?" Snape asked "And why do you come here with that lunatic wizard?"

"We came to ask for you help, Theoden King, and to give you a warning" Cedric said, staring at Theoden "The Dark Lord is on the rise, and now all who are free must unite together, lest we be destroyed" He paused, waiting for a response "My Lord?"

"Isn't it fascinating?" The King turned to grin at Cedric "I have no idea what it does, but I am sure these buttons control the spinny thing in the middle"

"My Lord, are you listening to me?"

"Of course" He turned back, and continued to fiddle with the machine. Cedric stared at him for a moment, then glanced at the two others stood next to him "Lady Eowyn - surely you can help us?"

"Yeah right" The girl tossed her long red hair "Like anyone is going to listen to a girl in this day and age" She sighed "My brother gets to go off to war, but not little Eowyn - we can't let her get hurt, can we? They didn't even let Arwen have a sword, for gods' sake"

"So basically we are stuck with Sn... with Grima then?"

"Pretty much" Ginny sighed "Unless you happen to have a crazily powerful wizard who can reverse the enchantment on my father and stop him playing with these blasted contraptions"

"My Lady" Cedric gave a deep bow "This might be your lucky day?"

"Really?" She walked towards him, eying him up and down "You know - you are kind of cute, for a wandering vagabond" Cedric's eyes widened, and both Draco and Neville had to stifle laughs.

"Really" Cedric turned, but before he could start towards the door, it opened, and Luna sauntered through, with a big smile on her face "Gandalf? How did you get past Hama?"

"It was a powerful piece of ancient magic that would be beyond your understanding!" She cackled.

"Really?"

"No, not really" She giggled "I just whacked him between the legs with my staff" Everyone except Ginny went pale "Yeah - that was pretty much his reaction as well. So - what's with The King and the giant-automated-hamster-wheel-with-added-washing-abilities?"

"Grima bought it for my father, and since then he hasn't been able to think about anything else" Ginny replied "And, before you ask, Eomer and I are not really his children, but since our parents died in the last war, he has more or less adopted us. And I know he plans to hand the kingdom over to Eomer, or he did before Eomer was banished"

"How did you say all that in one breath?" Draco asked curiously.

"Well - I am not going to be allowed to fight, or ride, or do anything even vaguely unfeminine, I had a lot of time on my hands" She glanced across to Cedric "I also learned to play the piano, if my Lord would like to hear it?"

"Maybe later" Cedric took a step back, and moved behind Neville, who was still trying to fight off the giggles.

"So - Grima" Luna strode towards Snape "What's the trick?"

"Get away from me, wandering wizard" Grima took a step back, but then came to a halt as he backed in to a pillar "You have no authority here"

"That's true" Luna sighed, then she whipped the staff up in a blindingly fast motion. A moment later, Snape was writhing on the ground, his hands between his legs. Luna smirked at him, then turned to King Theoden "Theoden, either you stop messing with that, or I do to you what I just did to snake-face here" Theoden stared up at her for a moment, then nodded "Good choice, my King" She bowed to him as he retook his throne "Now - are you willing to fight?"

"Fight you?" Arthur stared at her "Why would I want to fight you?"

"Not me" She sighed "Sauron is rising, and soon he will kill everyone who stands against him. But that's not our biggest problem"

"Really?" Ginny stared at her "There is something worse than the rise of an all powerful Dark Lord hell-bent on genocide?"

"Well - when you put it that way, no" Luna agreed "But Saruman has betrayed us, and even now he is sending his forces to wipe Rohan off the face of the map"

"She lies lord!" Snape struggled to his feet "Saruman is our friend, and... nurk!"

"Oh - sorry" Luna smiled down at the prone man "My staff slipped" She turned back to Arthur "So - King Theoden - what do you say?"

"I tell you my Lord - the wizard lies. She will lead to war, and then abandon you to death" Snape stood again "Stay here, and... gurh!" Everyone turned and stared at Ginny.

"Sorry - it just looked like fun when Gandalf did it" She said, looking smug.

"Grima" Arthur looked down at his servant "I want you to go. I don't care where, just go. Because the next time I see you, I think I will follow my daughter's lead" To everyone's surprise, Snape went even paler, then he stood up, and very carefully turned and walked out of the hall. Arthur watched him go, then yelled out "See no harm comes to him, and see that he gets some ice for... well you know" He gave a small laugh, then turned back to Luna "So, Gandalf, what would you have us do?"

"Get everyone who isn't fighting to safety. Get everyone who is fighting in to gear, and lead them to Helm's Deep. I will be along short..."

"See!" A voice yelled from outside "I told you she would abandon you! Why didn't you listen to me?"

"Excuse me a moment" Luna said. She turned, walked out of the hall and closed the door behind her. There was a thwap, then a yell of 'Oh God, oh God, why hast thou forsaken me?', then another thwap and then the doors opened again, and Luna walked in serenely "Where was I? Oh yes - I will be along in three days. Look for me when the birds are singing, and the frogs are croaking and the tillyweathers are mumping" They all stared at her "Dawn"

"Oh" Arthur nodded "Okay"

"See you soon" She waved, then turned and walked out the hall. There was a moment of silence, then Arthur turned to Cedric.

"She's really our last, best hope?"

"Yup" Cedric replied "Scary, isn't it?"

xoxox

"So - how did you end up here?" George asked.

"I am glad you asked" Cedric said. He, Neville and Draco were walking along beside the two hobbits, heading towards a meeting with Luna "After the confrontation in Meduseld..."

"I thought it was Edoras" George interrupted.

"I thought it was Rohan" Fred added.

"Same place" Draco replied "And, before you ask, it's also known as The Golden Hall"

"Oh" George shrugged, then turned back to Cedric "Do go on"

"Well - after the confrontation in Meduseld..."

"Did Luna really hit Snape in the nuts?"

"Four times" Neville grinned "And Ginny got one kick in too" Fred turned to his brother.

"We miss all the best stuff" He noticed Cedric was glaring at him "Sorry"

"Anyway - after the..."

"You said that bit already" George whined. Cedric glared at him, and Draco laughed. Both Cedric and Neville turned to stare at him.

"Do you want me to say 'I told you so' now or later?" He asked.

"DO YOU WANT TO HEAR THIS STORY OR NOT?" Cedric yelled.

"Yes sir" George said meekly.

"Well - it's like this" He glared at everyone, then continued "After we left the hall, King Theoden and Lady Eowyn got in to... an argument"

"Dad and Ginny fighting?" Fred smirked "That must have been fun to watch"

"You have no idea"

xoxox

"YOU WILL HARKEN UNTO ME DAUGHTER"

"NO I BLOODY WELL WON'T"

"I AM YOUR KING AND LORD"

xoxox

"It went on like that for a while" Cedric continued.

"What was it about?" George asked.

"Have you noticed the lack of women around here?" Draco asked.

"Have we ever" Fred replied.

"The King ordered Ginny to take his people to Dunharrow, and to hide out there until the war is over" Neville smirked "Ginny didn't take it well"

"Oh gods" Fred giggled "But, since she isn't here and you are, I take it Dad won?"

"Lady Eowyn wasn't happy" Cedric said "She even appealed to me directly..." He stopped as both Draco and Neville burst out laughing.

"Are we missing something?" Fred and George asked together.

"It seems that The White Lady of Rohan has a bit of a thing for the future King of Gondor" Neville said with a smile "So, obviously, Cedric supported the idea that Eowyn should defend her people rather than ride to war?"

"Damn right" Cedric replied with a smile "And in the end, she gave in. So - she led her people off to the mountains, and we rode west"

xoxox

"Anyone got a riding song?" Draco asked "Cause otherwise this is going to go very slowly" Neville glanced across at him with a sly look.

"Ride, Ride, Ride your horse..."

"On second thoughts, silence is nice" Draco said quickly, glaring at Neville.

xoxox

"We got to Helm's Deep, and found the battle already in progress" Cedric continued "There was fighting a plenty, as we fought our way through to the citadel"

"And then the orcs blew a hole in the wall, and we did more fighting" Neville said "We drove them back beyond the wall, and it seemed they settled in for the night and laid siege to us"

"Sounds fun"

"Well - we sang a few camp-fire songs, played a few games" Draco smirked "I got Neville drunk to see if he would let me toss him a little..." He saw the expression on the faces of the twins "It's not what you think"

xoxox

"You want to bowl me down the caves to knock over some sticks?" Neville stared at him as if he was crazy, but Draco merely nodded.

"Old Elf game from Valinor" He said "Part of our heritage. It would be a huge insult to me, to my family and to all of Elven Kind if you refused"

"Really?"

"No, not really" Draco smirked "I just wanted to see if I could get you to do it"

xoxox

"And then the dawn came"

xoxox

Cedric stared out from the top of the wall.

"So... that's a lot of orcs then?"

xoxox

"There were orcs as far as the eye could see" Draco said.

"Which with his eyes is pretty far" Cedric added "So - we exchanged a few pleasantries - they insulted me, I insulted them. Then I went back inside, to plan the attack and when we came back to fight..."

"Yes?"

"You ever hear of MacBeth?" Neville asked.

xoxox

Cedric, Neville, Draco and Arthur stared out from the wall.

"She looks good, doesn't she?" Cedric asked.

"Indeed" Draco replied "But, to be fair, if you dress any girl in white, stick her on the back of the most impressive horse in the world and have her riding out of the east as the sun rises, you would be very hard put too to fail"

"True" Cedric glanced to his right "The trees weren't there last night, were they?"

"No" Neville replied.

"Oh. Good" There was a long pause "So... how did they get here?"

xoxox

"Ents" George said with a smile "And Huorns"

"So you've heard of them?"

"As a matter of fact - that is how we got here" Fred said with a smile "Would you like to hear the story?"

Cedric, Draco and Neville looked at each other for a moment, then shrugged.

"Why not?"