Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > You’re My Phobia
Chapter Fifteen: Perfectly Unperfected
Song: My Chemical Romance – Desert Song
The children’s hospital consist of lime green walls and a mixture of soft cream outlines, as childish portraits of cartoon characters hung highly scattered about in each bedroom, no particular order in mind, just everywhere. It wasn’t as bad as I had thought to be honest, the rooms were a pain in the ass though, considering I had to share with 2 other kids, but beside that it was a good change, a much needed break-through from sky blue walls and the smell of numerous types of disinfectant.
I wrapped my index finger around the soft ivory material, shuffling slightly as the mere memories of half an our ago flooded back into my mind.
Frank.
James.
Boyfriend.
Yell.
Nurse.
Pain.
Walk.
It was a serious of unexpected events, and I couldn’t shake the feeling of dread as I awaited anything, anyone, to burst in and yell and scream and touch. But no one did, the elderly nurse even refused to speak a words to me as she caught up with my slump body pressed against the hospital wall, moaning and groaning in pain. She simply paged the male nurses, and brought me here. And still, here I sat. On the very bed she had pointed out to be mine. She nodded in gesture that I sink into the much needed softness of the silky mattress to sleep, and I did, without a word of a huff of disagreement.
I fell into slumber soon after, unaware of the situations and emotions surrounding me a loud crash and cry awoke me. “Just a kid” I assured myself, but still the aura of anxiety was present as I huddled my stiff and sore body as far into the headboard as I possibly could.
Maybe that Jamie dude was coming after me?!
But why would he? I had done nothing wrong; I was simply present in the wrong place at the wrong time, and I so happened to catch this little display of confession, tears, and angering Frank for no apparent reason. The entire scene could almost be sold to a producer, and be made into the next big hit, “the retune of his abandoned lover!” a breath-taking soap opera, staring Jamie, the submissive asshole and Frank the broken hearted. One witch Gerard was now destined to fix, they truly were nothing more than chemicals, experiments to the almighty god who had specifically written each and every chapter to there small and meaningless lives.
Aphephobia Gerard Way, and Obsessive Compulsive Frank Iero! - A beautiful fucking tragedy.
I had to give the writer credit though, “thanks for making my life a fucking misery asshole.”
You’re kinda.. umm, talking to yourself kid.
“Oh.. Shit.”
Yeah, your still doing it.
“Shut the fuck up.”
..Here we go again!
The young boy laughed harshly, he truly was losing his fucking mind. With tired hand’s he pulled away the sheets but froze in an instant as the harsh cry erupted through the entire hospital once more, the very scream that had woken him earlier. His entire body froze as a scream and a crash followed the loud cry.
What the fuck was going on?!
As fast as the young boy began to reason with himself that it was merely a psychotic child crying for his mother, he was prove wrong. So complete and utterly wrong as the black silhouette ran full sleep towards the froze boy and crashing their body together. As first Gerard Way has thought he was being attacked, but as before was proven wrong as the person buried their face into his lap and whaled out a loud sob.
The boy’s shoulders hunched forwards as he sobbed, the warm liquid sinking into the material and through the young boys trousers. But Gerard refused to move, refused to even breath as the contact had knocked the breath out of him. The burning sensation was their, and it was growing, but still Gerard refused to pull away.
“Frank! You cant touch hi-” the elderly woman’s body swung forward into the room, but from froze momentarily by the scene she was meet with. Her mouth falling open into a perfect O as she began to resemble a gold fish as she opened and closed her mouth but no words came out. None whatsoever.
The room was filled with an awkward silence, a few gasps and small “oh my” as nurses and doctors surrounded the little display.
If they believed Gerard wasn’t hurting, they were wrong. Dead fucking wrong, he simply refused to show it, he refused to do anything! Because he couldn’t, he was in complete shock, he couldn’t move.. he couldn’t speak, and worst of all he couldn’t comfort the whimpering Frank Iero who had miraculously chosen him out of all people to run and weep too.
But Gerard couldn’t help him.. could he?
They were made for each other, weren’t they?
And then it happened, like a tone of bricks it all came crashing down. This was a lesson, one in witch didn’t need to be mentioned in mockery humiliation or vengeance, but it was still their nonetheless, and only Frank Iero was blind to it. This was Gerard Ways lesson to teach, one in witch he had to open up to, he had to teach Frank, because it was the only way to heal. He had to show him that yes, indeed he was learning.
He has to show them that they both were, because as blind to it as they may have been, they had always been on the same boat. One hidden deep in the docks, and the other free to roam.
So close yet so far..
Rule number 5, forgive and forget.
The unmentioned rule that consist of 3 little words, held so much meaning. Gerard and Frank had held onto there grudge’s and pain for so long, that they themselves were the devils picking at there scabs, refusing to allow them to heal, where as all they had to do was forgive and forget. Forgive being letting go of there compressed anger, the rage that boiled deep within each of them. So strong and powerful that they were blinded by the chains, the connection, the familiar scars they each held close and dear to them.
Bourdons.
Bourdons they each were given. Bourdons they had to face, together. They were black and white. Happy and sad, ocean and land. Complete opposites, but made for each other. Without the other they couldn’t be, they would ease to exist.
Soul Mates.
Gerard was still unaware if it was love, because he truthfully and honestly didn’t believe in it. But the affection he had towards the boy that sobbed helplessly in his lap had grown, maybe not into love, but like, compassion, sympathy even.
Gerard Way liked Frank Iero, and in that moment he had realized he wanted to help him, because Frank Iero all along was trying to help him, to break him only to fix and re-create him into something better and strong.
“We hold in our hearts, the sword and the faaaiitthh... Swelled up from the rain clouds, move like a wraaiiittthhh. Well after all, we'll lie another daaayyy. And through it all, we'll find some other waaayyyy. To carry on through cartilage and fluuiiiddd, and did you come to stare or wash away the blooooddddd?!”
And their it was, the voice Gerard had hidden for so long, the voice he had almost forgotten he had the power to unleash. But their it was, being freed, because he himself new he couldn’t say anything to help Frank. He couldn’t physically touch him, because it was hurting him enough as it was. All he could do was open his mouth wide and sing.
Sing his heart out, rip it out and display it for the young boy.
..and that’s exactly what he did,
He cried, and Gerard sung.
“Well tonight, well tonighhtt will it ever come? Spend the rest of your days rockin' out. Just for the deeaaadd! Well tonight, will it ever commmmeee? I can see you awake anytime in my heeaaadd..”
He took a sharp breath, his vocal’s rough and scratchy from lack of practice, his voice raw, but it was their nonetheless, the vibrations sent up his throat as he ran his finger’s through the soft brown of Frank Iero’s hair. The body shuffled, lifting his tear drenched face and eyed Gerard.
Their eyes met, and neither one could look away. “Did we all fall down? Did we all fall down? Did we all fall down? Did we all fall dowwwnnn? From the lights to the pavemennntt. From the van to the floooorrrr. From backstage to the doctooorr, from the earth to the morgue… Morgue.... Morgue.... Morguuueeeee!”
Frank’s green eyes seemed to twinkle as the soft crystal tears flowed down his pail face, his expression unreadable as Gerard continued to sing, his eyes closing shut as Frank pulled himself into a seating position watching Gerard intently as he sung, his heart out in display.
He was giving Frank his heart, to punch and wound it however he liked, if it healed him.. them so be it. This was Gerards gift, he was present his soul. He was forgiving and forgetting, he was breaking the vow he had made at his grandmother funeral, all because of Frank.
All for Frank.
“Well tonight, will it ever commmeee? Spend the rest of your days rockin' out just for the deaaddd. Well tonight, will it ever come? I can see you awake anytime in my heeaaaddd..”
The soft velvet tips of Frank’s finger traced Gerard jaw as the song was coming to it finale, the trail he was making burnt his flesh, but he didn’t pull away. This was his gift, and Frank was intuited to do what he wished with him. “All fall dowwwnnn, well after alllll....”
Gerard voice trailed off, his eye’s still shut as Frank gently pushed Gerard back until his head rested against the soft pillow. The body gently lay himself on top of Gerard, straddling his waste. The sensation growing more and more painful as Frank cupped his hands against Gerard cheek, rubbing his thumb across his lower lip.
Gerard eyes shot open as a small whisper escaped his lips as his flesh began to heat. His eyes were met with those of Frank Iero staring emotionally back at his, his face read no expression, the tears that had fallen slowly faded until nothing was left beside the reddened eyes. His hands trailed down his neck, causing more friction and pain.
It hurts.. stop, it’s becoming to much. Hand.. Hands.. HANDS
Gerard’s chest began to rise as the pain was reaching its higher levels.
“Frank, g-get off! Y-Your hurt him!” The nurse’s freighted voice broke the contact as two arm’s suddenly griped Frank’s pulling him back.
“NO!” he screamed, taking hold of Gerards hand.
Gerard’s eyes began to water, “leave him! Leave him!” he screeched causing the males nurse to slightly loosen his hold.
“But Gerard, this is unhe-”
“I said LEAVE HIM.” The anger portrayed in his sudden growl and the rise in volume had caused the nurse’s eyes to widen, Frank’s small arms leaving those of the male nurse as he climbed towards Gerards aching body, tangling there bare leg together, and wrapping his arms around Gerard waste causing more discomfort. “Leave us.” He mumbled, barring his face in the crook of Gerards neck.
Surprisingly the nurse waved the doctors away, and without another word she departed, shutting the door as she went.
Gerard’s body shacked slightly, his skin inflamed as he struggled to keep calm. Frank tightened his grip, “does it hurt?” he whispered, kissing Gerard neck softly.
“I-I-It b-burns!” He gasped, moaning in agony as Frank’s hand slipped under the hem of his t-shirt. Gerard held in his screams as Frank’s hand rubbed gently up and down his ribcage. “Tis’ hu-hurts!” he mumbled, shutting his eyes tightly, he could hold on any longer, as his entire body shook a loud scream erupted through his sore throat, but stopped as soon as warm lips came in contact with his, they pressed firmly against his own as his entire body was in total agonizing pain, but he refused to pull away as his eyes began to slowly shut, his cream overpowered by the kiss.
He was slipping into unconsciousness, his head swirling into long lost memories as he felt Frank’s firm lips slip away. “Good..” he whispered. “Its about time you shut the fuck up faggot.”
Gerard’s body stilled as he felt the bed shift slightly the extra weight completely gone. “I’ll be back.” the soft voice blew gently in his ear as a gentle kiss was placed on his forehead.
..And then Gerard understood. Franks blaspheme words and curses were not said in a negative way but in a positive. He was afraid to show affection, so he disgusted them with unmannerly insults instead. And all this time Gerard believe he was being insulated, when in actual fact Frank was showing his gratefulness through crude and hurtful words..
They were black and white. Happy and sad, ocean and land..
Frank was truly the opposite to Gerard, where as Gerard would have just said “your beautiful” where as Frank on the other hand would say the opposite, “your fucking ugly.”
The worked so differently, yet at the same time they were made to fit, to complete each other.
…I guess they were right when they said opposites attract.
And with that final though, Gerard slipped into complete unconsciousness
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-smirk- HAHAHAH, like? =)
COMMEE ONN PEEEOPPLLEEE, =D review! lala xo
Song: My Chemical Romance – Desert Song
The children’s hospital consist of lime green walls and a mixture of soft cream outlines, as childish portraits of cartoon characters hung highly scattered about in each bedroom, no particular order in mind, just everywhere. It wasn’t as bad as I had thought to be honest, the rooms were a pain in the ass though, considering I had to share with 2 other kids, but beside that it was a good change, a much needed break-through from sky blue walls and the smell of numerous types of disinfectant.
I wrapped my index finger around the soft ivory material, shuffling slightly as the mere memories of half an our ago flooded back into my mind.
Frank.
James.
Boyfriend.
Yell.
Nurse.
Pain.
Walk.
It was a serious of unexpected events, and I couldn’t shake the feeling of dread as I awaited anything, anyone, to burst in and yell and scream and touch. But no one did, the elderly nurse even refused to speak a words to me as she caught up with my slump body pressed against the hospital wall, moaning and groaning in pain. She simply paged the male nurses, and brought me here. And still, here I sat. On the very bed she had pointed out to be mine. She nodded in gesture that I sink into the much needed softness of the silky mattress to sleep, and I did, without a word of a huff of disagreement.
I fell into slumber soon after, unaware of the situations and emotions surrounding me a loud crash and cry awoke me. “Just a kid” I assured myself, but still the aura of anxiety was present as I huddled my stiff and sore body as far into the headboard as I possibly could.
Maybe that Jamie dude was coming after me?!
But why would he? I had done nothing wrong; I was simply present in the wrong place at the wrong time, and I so happened to catch this little display of confession, tears, and angering Frank for no apparent reason. The entire scene could almost be sold to a producer, and be made into the next big hit, “the retune of his abandoned lover!” a breath-taking soap opera, staring Jamie, the submissive asshole and Frank the broken hearted. One witch Gerard was now destined to fix, they truly were nothing more than chemicals, experiments to the almighty god who had specifically written each and every chapter to there small and meaningless lives.
Aphephobia Gerard Way, and Obsessive Compulsive Frank Iero! - A beautiful fucking tragedy.
I had to give the writer credit though, “thanks for making my life a fucking misery asshole.”
You’re kinda.. umm, talking to yourself kid.
“Oh.. Shit.”
Yeah, your still doing it.
“Shut the fuck up.”
..Here we go again!
The young boy laughed harshly, he truly was losing his fucking mind. With tired hand’s he pulled away the sheets but froze in an instant as the harsh cry erupted through the entire hospital once more, the very scream that had woken him earlier. His entire body froze as a scream and a crash followed the loud cry.
What the fuck was going on?!
As fast as the young boy began to reason with himself that it was merely a psychotic child crying for his mother, he was prove wrong. So complete and utterly wrong as the black silhouette ran full sleep towards the froze boy and crashing their body together. As first Gerard Way has thought he was being attacked, but as before was proven wrong as the person buried their face into his lap and whaled out a loud sob.
The boy’s shoulders hunched forwards as he sobbed, the warm liquid sinking into the material and through the young boys trousers. But Gerard refused to move, refused to even breath as the contact had knocked the breath out of him. The burning sensation was their, and it was growing, but still Gerard refused to pull away.
“Frank! You cant touch hi-” the elderly woman’s body swung forward into the room, but from froze momentarily by the scene she was meet with. Her mouth falling open into a perfect O as she began to resemble a gold fish as she opened and closed her mouth but no words came out. None whatsoever.
The room was filled with an awkward silence, a few gasps and small “oh my” as nurses and doctors surrounded the little display.
If they believed Gerard wasn’t hurting, they were wrong. Dead fucking wrong, he simply refused to show it, he refused to do anything! Because he couldn’t, he was in complete shock, he couldn’t move.. he couldn’t speak, and worst of all he couldn’t comfort the whimpering Frank Iero who had miraculously chosen him out of all people to run and weep too.
But Gerard couldn’t help him.. could he?
They were made for each other, weren’t they?
And then it happened, like a tone of bricks it all came crashing down. This was a lesson, one in witch didn’t need to be mentioned in mockery humiliation or vengeance, but it was still their nonetheless, and only Frank Iero was blind to it. This was Gerard Ways lesson to teach, one in witch he had to open up to, he had to teach Frank, because it was the only way to heal. He had to show him that yes, indeed he was learning.
He has to show them that they both were, because as blind to it as they may have been, they had always been on the same boat. One hidden deep in the docks, and the other free to roam.
So close yet so far..
Rule number 5, forgive and forget.
The unmentioned rule that consist of 3 little words, held so much meaning. Gerard and Frank had held onto there grudge’s and pain for so long, that they themselves were the devils picking at there scabs, refusing to allow them to heal, where as all they had to do was forgive and forget. Forgive being letting go of there compressed anger, the rage that boiled deep within each of them. So strong and powerful that they were blinded by the chains, the connection, the familiar scars they each held close and dear to them.
Bourdons.
Bourdons they each were given. Bourdons they had to face, together. They were black and white. Happy and sad, ocean and land. Complete opposites, but made for each other. Without the other they couldn’t be, they would ease to exist.
Soul Mates.
Gerard was still unaware if it was love, because he truthfully and honestly didn’t believe in it. But the affection he had towards the boy that sobbed helplessly in his lap had grown, maybe not into love, but like, compassion, sympathy even.
Gerard Way liked Frank Iero, and in that moment he had realized he wanted to help him, because Frank Iero all along was trying to help him, to break him only to fix and re-create him into something better and strong.
“We hold in our hearts, the sword and the faaaiitthh... Swelled up from the rain clouds, move like a wraaiiittthhh. Well after all, we'll lie another daaayyy. And through it all, we'll find some other waaayyyy. To carry on through cartilage and fluuiiiddd, and did you come to stare or wash away the blooooddddd?!”
And their it was, the voice Gerard had hidden for so long, the voice he had almost forgotten he had the power to unleash. But their it was, being freed, because he himself new he couldn’t say anything to help Frank. He couldn’t physically touch him, because it was hurting him enough as it was. All he could do was open his mouth wide and sing.
Sing his heart out, rip it out and display it for the young boy.
..and that’s exactly what he did,
He cried, and Gerard sung.
“Well tonight, well tonighhtt will it ever come? Spend the rest of your days rockin' out. Just for the deeaaadd! Well tonight, will it ever commmmeee? I can see you awake anytime in my heeaaadd..”
He took a sharp breath, his vocal’s rough and scratchy from lack of practice, his voice raw, but it was their nonetheless, the vibrations sent up his throat as he ran his finger’s through the soft brown of Frank Iero’s hair. The body shuffled, lifting his tear drenched face and eyed Gerard.
Their eyes met, and neither one could look away. “Did we all fall down? Did we all fall down? Did we all fall down? Did we all fall dowwwnnn? From the lights to the pavemennntt. From the van to the floooorrrr. From backstage to the doctooorr, from the earth to the morgue… Morgue.... Morgue.... Morguuueeeee!”
Frank’s green eyes seemed to twinkle as the soft crystal tears flowed down his pail face, his expression unreadable as Gerard continued to sing, his eyes closing shut as Frank pulled himself into a seating position watching Gerard intently as he sung, his heart out in display.
He was giving Frank his heart, to punch and wound it however he liked, if it healed him.. them so be it. This was Gerards gift, he was present his soul. He was forgiving and forgetting, he was breaking the vow he had made at his grandmother funeral, all because of Frank.
All for Frank.
“Well tonight, will it ever commmeee? Spend the rest of your days rockin' out just for the deaaddd. Well tonight, will it ever come? I can see you awake anytime in my heeaaaddd..”
The soft velvet tips of Frank’s finger traced Gerard jaw as the song was coming to it finale, the trail he was making burnt his flesh, but he didn’t pull away. This was his gift, and Frank was intuited to do what he wished with him. “All fall dowwwnnn, well after alllll....”
Gerard voice trailed off, his eye’s still shut as Frank gently pushed Gerard back until his head rested against the soft pillow. The body gently lay himself on top of Gerard, straddling his waste. The sensation growing more and more painful as Frank cupped his hands against Gerard cheek, rubbing his thumb across his lower lip.
Gerard eyes shot open as a small whisper escaped his lips as his flesh began to heat. His eyes were met with those of Frank Iero staring emotionally back at his, his face read no expression, the tears that had fallen slowly faded until nothing was left beside the reddened eyes. His hands trailed down his neck, causing more friction and pain.
It hurts.. stop, it’s becoming to much. Hand.. Hands.. HANDS
Gerard’s chest began to rise as the pain was reaching its higher levels.
“Frank, g-get off! Y-Your hurt him!” The nurse’s freighted voice broke the contact as two arm’s suddenly griped Frank’s pulling him back.
“NO!” he screamed, taking hold of Gerards hand.
Gerard’s eyes began to water, “leave him! Leave him!” he screeched causing the males nurse to slightly loosen his hold.
“But Gerard, this is unhe-”
“I said LEAVE HIM.” The anger portrayed in his sudden growl and the rise in volume had caused the nurse’s eyes to widen, Frank’s small arms leaving those of the male nurse as he climbed towards Gerards aching body, tangling there bare leg together, and wrapping his arms around Gerard waste causing more discomfort. “Leave us.” He mumbled, barring his face in the crook of Gerards neck.
Surprisingly the nurse waved the doctors away, and without another word she departed, shutting the door as she went.
Gerard’s body shacked slightly, his skin inflamed as he struggled to keep calm. Frank tightened his grip, “does it hurt?” he whispered, kissing Gerard neck softly.
“I-I-It b-burns!” He gasped, moaning in agony as Frank’s hand slipped under the hem of his t-shirt. Gerard held in his screams as Frank’s hand rubbed gently up and down his ribcage. “Tis’ hu-hurts!” he mumbled, shutting his eyes tightly, he could hold on any longer, as his entire body shook a loud scream erupted through his sore throat, but stopped as soon as warm lips came in contact with his, they pressed firmly against his own as his entire body was in total agonizing pain, but he refused to pull away as his eyes began to slowly shut, his cream overpowered by the kiss.
He was slipping into unconsciousness, his head swirling into long lost memories as he felt Frank’s firm lips slip away. “Good..” he whispered. “Its about time you shut the fuck up faggot.”
Gerard’s body stilled as he felt the bed shift slightly the extra weight completely gone. “I’ll be back.” the soft voice blew gently in his ear as a gentle kiss was placed on his forehead.
..And then Gerard understood. Franks blaspheme words and curses were not said in a negative way but in a positive. He was afraid to show affection, so he disgusted them with unmannerly insults instead. And all this time Gerard believe he was being insulated, when in actual fact Frank was showing his gratefulness through crude and hurtful words..
They were black and white. Happy and sad, ocean and land..
Frank was truly the opposite to Gerard, where as Gerard would have just said “your beautiful” where as Frank on the other hand would say the opposite, “your fucking ugly.”
The worked so differently, yet at the same time they were made to fit, to complete each other.
…I guess they were right when they said opposites attract.
And with that final though, Gerard slipped into complete unconsciousness
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-smirk- HAHAHAH, like? =)
COMMEE ONN PEEEOPPLLEEE, =D review! lala xo
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