Categories > Celebrities > Guns n' Roses > Halloween Queens

Part VII

by littlemissbrownstone 1 review

In which the sluts’ party experience gets even more bizarre. BDSM, rainbow vomit and a whole lotta confusion…

Category: Guns n' Roses - Rating: R - Genres: Horror,Humor - Published: 2008-07-22 - Updated: 2008-07-22 - 2427 words - Complete

The vampire successfully dragged Izzy out into the front hall, which was, unfortunately for the abducted guitarist, empty.

"Let go of me!" He squirmed and struggled and thrashed at the larger man, his voice echoing off the high ceiling and walls.

The Count was getting fed up and flung Izzy over his shoulder, carrying him up the huge stairway, avoiding tripping over scattered limbs and bones. Once upstairs, the kidnapper found himself facing a long corridor with scary portraits and closed doors lining the walls. In keeping with the Halloween theme of the downstairs, each door had a sign on it as an indication of what it was to be used for.

Bobbing For Cocks, Dick Or Treat, Blood And Cock Sucking, Seven Minutes In Hell, Headless Whores-Men, Transyl-Cane-Ya. The list of cheesy Halloween sex jokes went on.

He decided on ZomBDSM and opened the door and went in. Shutting the door behind him he dropped Izzy to the floor.

"What are you gonna do to me?" Poor Izzy with his eyes wide stared helplessly up at the scary man, pulling at the hem of the skirt as best as he could.

The vampire turned the key in the lock of the door before slowly turning around to look at the guitarist, an evil grin twisting onto his face.


"Ow! Slash you stood on my foot!" Cried Duff, after being stabbed by his friend's devil shoes.

Slash just smiled up at the blonde and continued his drunken dancing. They had moved from the bar to the dance floor and were now getting a lot of attention from the girls. The two kept falling over making their dresses reveal more than the guys at the party were comfortable with.

"Hey look Duff! It's Axl!" Slash slurred.

He walked up and threw his arms around the French maid only to have the red head turn around and slap him in the face.

"How dare you put your hands on me!" The shrill voice cried.

Slash, still clutching his red-hot cheek, stared at the maid trying to get his drunken eyes into focus. He didn't realise that this was Alex, one fifth of the impostor sluts.

"What the fuck was that for?" He asked.

All the guitarist got in return was a flash of red and then the black and white frills disappeared into the crowd.

"Axl's a bitch!" Cried Slash.

Duff wasn't listening though. Stephanie had slinked up to the bassist and attached her lips to his neck, sucking and kissing at the soft skin. Just like his friend, in his drunken blur he really though this was his band mate.

"Woah dude! I thought you were into Axl!" Duff cried and pushed away the cheerleader.

Stephanie stared at him like he had two heads and decided it wasn't worth the drama so spun on her heels and walked away.

"Do you think Axl will be jealous that Steven wants me now?"

"That fucking freak can go to hell for all I care!" Slash yelled, "That fucking hurt! He slaps as hard as a girl!"



"I told you not to mix candy with vodka." Axl said as he held Steven's hair.

The drummer was on his knees, vomiting into a toilet.

"He double dared me to." Steven said softly, after his final upchuck.

"He double dared you? What are you, six years old?" Axl exclaimed, "If CC Deville double dared you to jump off a bridge would you do it?"

Steven looked up at his friend and nodded innocently.

"You can't refuse a double dare Axl!"

The singer shook his head and helped the drummer to his feet.

"I need to pee."

Axl walked over to the urinal, lifted his dress up and pulled his cock out. The urinal had been painted to look like a mouth, and on the wall it was attached to, a monsters face was painted. Axl didn't understand how pissing into a monsters mouth was supposed to be scary though.

The bathroom was a long walk away from the main hall of the mansion where everyone else was. They were now near the back of the house and if Axl remembered the layout correctly, they were now underneath all the bedrooms.

After peeing he washed his hands and paused. Steven turned to leave but the singer stopped him.

"What's up babe?" Steven asked.

Axl was staring up at the ceiling and concentrating intently. Steven followed his gaze up and saw nothing special.

"There's nothing up there Ax! Let's go back." Again, he was stopped by Axl who grabbed his arm, preventing him from leaving.

Steven gave up and stared at the ceiling too. That's when he heard muffled noises coming from upstairs. He had to concentrate hard though because the music from the hall could still be heard, also muffled through the walls of the mansion.

"It's just people fucking upstairs." Steven tugged on the hem of the maid's dress, willing the singer to follow him. Axl didn't budge.

"Helloooo!" The drummer waved a pom-pom in front of Axl's glazed stare. "Is there anybody home?"

"I thought I heard -" The singer looked into Steven's wide eyes, "Never mind."

The cheerleader sighed and pulled Axl out the door with him, keen to get back to the party to challenge CC Deville with a dare of his own.


ZomBDSM really lived up to the name. What was once a guest bedroom was now a torture chamber. Dummies modelled to look like zombies, hung from the ceiling and one was even bent over the sawhorse with its pants around its ankles, fake blood dribbling from its ass.

Izzy was shaking with terror. He had been backed up into a corner and was now trapped.

"Aww sweetie what are you afraid of?"

Dracula reached an arm out to touch Izzy's face but the guitarist thought fast. He raised his 12-inch platforms and kicked the vampire right in his balls sending him crumbling to the floor, howling in pain. Izzy ran for the door but a hand grabbed his ankle and he came crashing down. He started kicking at the hand frantically. This brought back scary candy bowl memories.

"Let go of me you psycho!"

He stabbed his heel into the kidnappers hand making him release Izzy's ankle. This time Dracula got to his feet, still clutching his manhood, and advanced on Izzy. The guitarist was fumbling with the key now but his hands were shaking so bad he couldn't get the door open.

"I'm getting sick of this shit!" The vamp yelled, "Just bend the fuck over and hold still!"

He grabbed Izzy's shoulders and spun him around and then attempted to rip Izzy's skirt right off him but the guitarist was too quick. He slipped past the bully and ran to the other side of the room to where tools of pain infliction were hanging on the wall. He grabbed a leather whip and lashed it right at the vampires eyes making him scream in pain.

"Aaagh! You fucker!" He howled, "Wait'll I get my hands on your ass!"

Izzy was already at the door and he had just gotten it open when Dracula grabbed him by the pigtails from behind and shut the door again, locking Izzy in once again.


"Duff can you see the room spinning too?" Slash asked, wobbling rather than dancing.

The pain in his face had subsided and he had resumed his partying.

"Duff?" He looked around but the bassist wasn't by his side where he was a minute ago.

Scanning the room Slash struggled to focus, everything seeming blurry and doubled. He barely made out a tall blonde nurse at the candy table so he wobbled over to who he thought was Duff.


Michelle jumped, startled by the guitarist. She carefully examined him for a moment before being satisfied that he was completely hammered.

"Oh hey Slash!" She noticed the hand shaped marked on his cheek, "What happened to your face?"

"Axl bitch slapped me!" He cried, "Remember? Before Steven came on to you? You were there!"

"Oh yeah!" She quickly caught on, "Assholes right? Well are you just going to let Axl get away with that?"

"Um...yes?" Slash wasn't one for confrontation, especially with Axl.

"No you are not Slash! You're going to do something about this! He can't just slap you for no reason!" She snapped at him.

"But Duff..."

"No buts! When you see him you're gonna get your own back ok?"

The guitarist nodded like an obedient puppy.

She turned on her heels and disappeared into the crowd in search for her friends. She had a plan.


"That's a great idea Michelle!" Squeaked Alex, "What a great way to get rid of our only competition. We'll definitely get 'Best Costume' tonight!"

Stephanie was having doubts about this plan of Michelle's.

"I'm not sure. We can't just turn best friends against eachother for the sake of winning a stupid prize at a costume party."

Her friends didn't seem to be listening to her morals though. They were busy receiving orders from Michelle.

"Ok Sasha, you know what do right?" The nursed asked.

The bride nodded and skipped away to carry out her assignment.

"Ok, now I'm off to find Axl. Surely he's drunk by no."

Michelle strutted off to find the singer. She was sure her plan would work.


A small crowd had formed a circle to watch the spectacle of CC Deville, on his knees in the centre of it, throwing up a rainbow. He couldn't refuse Steven's challenge to swallow as many multi coloured gumballs as he could, washed down with a bottle of Nightrain. Steven and Axl were doubled over with laughter, occasionally falling over and flashing.

"Did you see that Axl?" Steven giggled, "It was rainbow coloured! Like a rainbow!"

"I'm gonna use that double dare thing more often now!" Axl said as he wiped away a tear.

Steven cocked an eyebrow at that last comment. He grabbed Axl and practically sprinted to the Pirate Bar. Maybe he could use the childhood game as an advantage...

"Axl Rose, I double dare you to down a whole bottle of Jack Daniels." Steven ordered.

The maid stared at him for a moment before grinning. He grabbed a bottle and drank it in two gulps. Wiping his mouth with the back of one hand, he picked up two bottles of whiskey with the other. Steven smiled to himself. He knew Axl would raise the stakes.

"Double dare you to drink these two faster than I drank that Jack." Said the singer.

The drummer snatched both bottles from his friend and emptied them into his mouth, letting out a squeaky hiccup after the last drops.

Predictably, the two Gunners just had to keep outdoing eachother. As a result, they were currently nearing the edge of a serious coma.

They were now sat at the edge of the room, which they thought was spinning, surrounded by empty bottles of every kind of drink under the sun. It was Axl's turn.

"I dare youuuuu..." He slurred, "To swallow a sssnake...whole."

He held up a bright green gummy snake and waved it in front of Steven's face, tempting him. The drummer thought this was a perfect set up for his next dare. He pulled the drunken Axl into his lap and then teasingly licked the gummy snake before swallowing it whole.

"Wow" Axl mouthed, his eyes trailing down Steven's throat as he imagined the snake sliding through inside.

"My turn." Steven grinned and Axl dopily smiled back, getting himself comfortable in the drummers lap. Steven reached up and cupped his hands around Axl's face, guiding him down so that he was inches away from his own.

"I dare you to..."

Before he could accomplish his fantasy, Sasha appeared out of nowhere and grabbed Axl, pulling him up off Steven's lap and into her arms.

"Steven there's something I need to tell you about Axl." Announced the impostor Slash.

Sasha didn't feel the need to change her voice to match Slash's more masculine tone. Steven could only hear ringing anyway. The drummer shakily got to his feet and eyed up the person he thought was Slash. He didn't like the look of Axl in someone else's arms and his eyes narrowed and he spoke through gritted teeth.

"What. About. My Axl."

Sasha was glad Steven was already angry. This worked well for the plan but she was still a little nervous. She pulled Axl even closer to her, tightening her grip around his body.

"I'm fucking him."

Steven flipped his lid and then some. He started screaming blue murder into Sasha's face, truly believing that his friend was screwing around with his one and only love. Poor Axl was too drunk to understand what was happening, the yelling a little too much for him. All he could get out was a very surprised, "We are?"

Sasha wasn't particularly enjoying this part of the scheme but there was still one more Gun to fool. She shoved Axl out of her arms and at that exact moment Michelle showed up and caught the singer, spinning him around to face her. Axl had to grab a hold of Michelle after all that spinning.


The singer gave Michelle a big hug, wrapping his arms around her and squeezing out of pure drunken love.

"Have you heard the wonderful news about me and..." He thought for a moment before the name came back to him, "...Slash?"

Michelle wriggled out of the hug and looked Axl right in the eye. The singer lazily stared back with a dopey expression gracing his face.

"Axl you've been replaced. You're no longer the singer for Guns N' Roses." Said the non-Duff.

Axl's expression dropped like an atom bomb. It was his turn to go crazy. He started yelling at Michelle, thinking she was Duff, kicking him out of the band. He was throwing curses at her that he didn't even know he knew. The girls let the two men continue on like this for a few more minutes before they each grabbed their Gunner and spun him around a few dozen times. After that they ran back into the crowd to join their friends, leaving the scene of the crime. The plan would now be left for the guys to finish off.

Two very dizzy rockers got their balance back and then looked up at eachother. A second later they were on their knees puking their guts out.

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