FicWad

Disclaimer: Only own plot, not My Chem.

WARNINGS: Swearing, physical harm, insanity.

Chapter Two

Gerard took a long drag of the cigarette that was billowing out smoke between his pale fingers. He inhaled, but something seemed a little different. He glanced at the packet, making sure he had the right brand; they certainly didn't seem to taste very good. Had he got that herbal crap by accident?

"It's because you're not actually smoking," a voice echoed all around him.

He dropped the packet of smokes in surprise as he spun around wildly, looking for the shadowy figure he knew would be looming just near-by. Through the thick fog, he saw him. The one man he had been dreading to see again.

"So I'm dreaming again," Gerard asked, already knowing the answer.

Glancing down at the cigarette he had lit, he tossed it to the ground and angrily stamped it out. After all, there was no point in smoking it if it wasn't real.

Why did it always feel so real? Why was it so hard to tell when he was sleeping?

"I don't know if I would call it dreaming exactly ... I mean you're not exactly well rested when you wake-up." The shadowed figure didn't linger in the darkness this time; he stepped out into the light, his whole face on display.

This time Gerard was ready for the face, the figure he had heard and recognised yet couldn't quite put a name to. Well, he had a name for it now but it just so happens it’s the same name that he himself had.

"Why do you look like me?" It was the only question that popped into his head right now.

"I don't really look like you anymore," he explained, rubbing a hand through his blonde hair.

Gerard couldn't explain the feeling, there, right before him was the shadowed figure ... himself. Only, this version of himself was still donned in the disguise he had used for The Black Parade. Wearing only black with pale skin and bleached blonde, almost white hair.

There was a difference though, an unsettling difference. The blonde hair was longer then Gerard had had it back then, almost as though the figure was actually really him, just many months on, still in that disguise of a dying patient. In fact, he was sure the other Gerard's blonde hair was the same length as his now black hair.

Also, he wasn't sure what it was, but this Gerard, although identical, just seemed to look better. He couldn't explain it, but whatever he was doing differently, it just seemed to work.

"Not jealous of me are you? I mean, we're exactly the same," the other him mocked, circling him like a hawk would its prey. "We have the same thoughts, the same looks, the same everything - only difference Gee, is that I do it better. I know more about us then you do, which kind of makes me the superior one, don't you think?"

Gerard shivered at the cold laugh that the blonde him let loose. It was his laugh, only it sounded different. This Gerard was confident. He had the confidence that Gerard could never find. He stood straighter, he spoke prouder and he even looked better because of it.

At that moment, Gerard hated him. He was unique, there was only one of him and he wasn't going to share himself with anyone, even if it was himself.

"Why do I keep dreaming about you?" he said angrily, he didn't like the other him at all.

"I told you already, you're not exactly dreaming because you're not really sleeping."

"Stop talking like that. Just give it to me straight, how do I get rid of you?"

Gerard wanted to reach out and knock the blonde headed version of himself out. He was still circling him and he hated it, he was following him, not daring to take his eyes off him; it was only making him dizzy.

"I don't know, you're the one that made me Gee. Maybe the real question is, how do I get rid of you?" He stopped circling and stood, arms folded, a grin plastered onto his face.

"So you want to get rid of me? That why you're here?" It made no sense.

"Once again ... I don't know. You tell me. Do you want me to get rid of you?"

"You're not making any sense!" Gerard yelled angrily, clenching his fists as he fought back the urge to attack this imposter. What the hell was he talking about?

It makes sense though. What if you did make him to replace you? Because he's better.

"Ah, see, now you understand!" The other Gerard said, reading his thoughts and nodding along in agreement.

"Stay out of my head!" Gerard continued to yell. What the hell was happening to him? Why couldn't he just wake up?

"If you just take a deep breath and calm down, maybe we can sort this out," the blonde-haired figure said, sighing loudly as he looked on with a great sense of calm.

"Don't act like you're better then me! You said it yourself, I made you, which still leaves me with the upper hand," Gerard announced, putting a grin of his own on his face.

"So it does. But when your own creation starts to get the upper hand, what does that mean for you?" The blonde didn't seem to like Gerard's announcement, the smile was gone from his face.

"You don't have the upper hand."

No sooner had the words left his mouth, Gerard saw the other figure come at him quickly, before he could defend himself, the blonde collided with him and they were both sent tumbling to the ground.

Gerard had never been a good fighter, but it seemed in this dream world, or whatever it was, he was far worse then he had ever been in real life. The blonde Gerard was on top of him, pinning him to the ground, he couldn't move.

"See, you're weak," he laughed and Gerard felt himself being shaken forcefully. He looked at himself in confusion, why was he shaking him? It was a weird tactic.

"Stop doing that! You're hurting me!" Gerard exclaimed loudly as the strong grip the other him had on his arms was beginning to ache.

But it's a dream! How could this hurt? Yet it was there, real this time, very real. Pain, unexplainable pain.

"You don't even know yourself at all," the blonde announced, looking down at him with familiar eyes ... his eyes!

"Fuck you!" Gerard managed to say, but he realised just a moment to late that it was probably the wrong thing to say because the blonde's smile faded, he pulled back a fist and swung it down towards Gerard's face.

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"Owww - fucking - oww," Gerard announced as he felt a sharp pain at the corner of his eye. A fist, he had been hit.

"Fuck! Gee, you're alive!"

Gerard focused his eyes, moaning in confusion. It didn't sound like the blonde him at all, but hadn't he been the one that had punched him? Where was he now?

"F-Frank?" he asked, finally laying eyes on the figure that lay on top of him, shaking him and holding his arms so tightly they ached. "What gives man?"

Frank's eyebrows seemed to relax themselves from the tight expression of concern they had just been holding. He let out a sigh of relief and released his grip on Gerard's arms.

"Shit Gee, we thought you weren't going to wake up," another voice entered into his drowsy state. Gerard turned his head to see Mikey sitting by his bunk looking as pale as he had when his shoe had flown in through the window.

As though trying to get his bearings, he remembered the events of that day and he glanced at the boarded up broken window and let out his own sigh of relief.

Back on the bus, that's where he was, it had all just been another stupid dream. So vivid, so real, why did he keep letting that dream imposter get to him?

"You were tossing and turning like crazy and when I tried to wake you - well I sat on you, I shook you, I yelled at you - so ... I punched you and ... well it worked," Frank explained nervously, as though worried Gerard was going to punch him back. "Guess I over-reacted man."

Gerard didn't answer right away. His eyes moved from the sleepy looking Ray to the harassed looking Bob, then to Mikey who was only now starting to re-gain some colour to his cheeks and then to Frank who was still perched on top of him, rubbing a hand through his messed up hair.

"I - I was just having a bad dream," Gerard explained, starting to slowly wake-up now. He didn't feel he needed to say anything to Frank, in a way he was glad he hit him; at least he was away from that nightmare.

"That was some fucking dream, you're all wet!"

Frank grabbed Gerard's shirt and lifted it off his sweaty skin as though demonstrating what he meant. The moment his friends' hand touched his chest, goose bumps popped up all over his body, he hoped Frank wouldn't notice and instead, lifted a hand and ran it through his hair; it was saturated with sweat as well.

Frank sighed and rolled off him, joining Mikey by the floor near his bunk, that was when Gerard could sit himself up enough to notice that the sun was actually shinning through the bus' windows.

"What time is it?" he asked, trying to distract himself from the dream. It was all too confusing.

"Erm, it's -" Frank looked around for a clock or at least something that would have the time.

"2:45pm, we'll be arriving at the air port soon," Bob muttered in-between a yawn as he glanced at his phone.

"Shit ... I've been asleep that long?" Gerard asked, looking around at the concerned faces of his band mates and brother.

He could remember their last show. Sure, he had been tired, but it was amazing, the best way to go out. It was perfect. Then, as he had been doing lately, he got back on the bus and just passed out. That couldn't have been much later then 11pm last night. And he had slept all that time?

"You seemed so tired last night, we didn't want to wake you," Mikey explained, watching Gerard closely as though wondering if there was anything he needed to talk about.

Gerard couldn't answer him, he just forced a smile to show that he was okay and then he got out of his bunk, standing up so he could stretch his back. The worst part was, he still felt as though he was exhausted.

"Guess we need to pack up our shit then," he announced, quickly changing the subject as he looked around at the already tidy bus. It seemed everyone had already tidied up everything. Even his own stuff was packed away into his bulging travel bag.

There were a few nervous glances between everyone, but no one pushed the subject of his restless sleep any further. Instead, they all got together and began cleaning up the remainder of the crap that still lay around the bus.

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When they finally got to the air port and sorted themselves out, they still had a good hour before they could board their plane. Naturally, Gerard headed straight for the coffee line.

"Gee, you sure you're okay man?" Frank asked quietly as he joined him in the coffee line. "You know I wouldn't worry too much if you say you're fine, but Mikey's really concerned and well, when he gets concerned, I freak out!"

Gerard grinned sheepishly at Frank, he hated making him worry, he hated making Mikey worry, but how could he assure them of anything when he didn't even know what the hell was going on with himself lately?

"I'm alright Frank, really. I just haven't been sleeping real good, probably just anxious and all," he admitted, secretly, he hoped that was all it was.

"You know you can come and stay with me and Jamia anytime you want right?" Frank said, still very quietly as though trying to keep it a secret from the grumpy old man that was standing in front of them ordering his coffee.

Gerard looked at his friend gratefully. He already knew that he could, but he was glad to hear it and he smiled, really smiled, as he nodded his thanks at Frank.

They ordered their coffees; Gerard tapping his sugar packet impatiently on the counter as he waited for the caffeine to be poured into the cups, Frank merely looked on in amusement. As they received their coffee's and walked back to where Bob, Ray and Mikey were yawning in their seats outside their planes gate, Gerard couldn't help but feel a little safe.

Sure, his dreams were messing him around, but when he was awake, everything was fine. Whilst his dreams felt real, at least they weren't, at least there was no terribly foggy place where people lurked in shadows in the real world. It brought him comfort to see the sunlight.

"Oh man, I can't wait to get home and watch TV," Frank admitted as he stretched out across three seats and sipped at his coffee rather awkwardly.

Gerard laughed as he watched Frank getting comfortable. His small body was stretched out as far as it could go and yet he still managed to take up the smallest amount of room. Pulling down his sunglasses so that he could no doubt get away with closing his eyes for a little while, Frank simply looked so peaceful.

His hair was shoulder length now, curling up at the bottom just as it reached his shoulders. It seemed like he was all ready to get back into normal living mode again. On tour, they never could get a hold of any good vegetarian meals so Frank always went back home looking skinnier and under-nourished as ever. Gerard watched him sip his coffee awkwardly again, it was hard to lie down and try and drink out of one of those take-away cups, but he managed well ... and that was when Gerard realised he was staring.

Hastily, he tore his eyes away from the resting figure of Frank and looked down at his coffee guiltily. What the hell was he doing? Was he just checking out Frank?

If it was the first time he had done it, he probably would have been a little more ashamed of himself. But, he had done it before, many times before and each time he cursed himself for it.

It wasn't like he fancied him or anything, he wasn't gay, he was married, he couldn't be gay - he just sometimes found that he couldn't help but stare at Frank ... and wonder.

"Hey Gee."

Gerard turned around to see Mikey take a seat by his side. He smiled nervously as he seemed to be thinking something over in his head. Then, just like that, his little brother wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into a hug.

"M-Mikey ... what's up?" he asked, returning the hug, but slightly confused as to why they were hugging in the first place.

Mikey broke the hug and looked rather embarrassed. "Nothing, I just ... wanted to give you a hug that's all."

Gerard laughed at how embarrassed his brother looked. It wasn't that big a deal, but usually there was some sort of reason why you hugged people. Had he really scared him that much when he wouldn't wake up from his bad dream?

"Well, thanks ... I guess," Gerard said, suddenly unsure whether that was the right thing to say.

"Just remember, if you wanna hang out - at any time, I don't even care if it's at the butt-crack of dawn, just call me okay?" Mikey announced as Frank, supposedly not that asleep, giggled when he said "butt-crack".

"I might just take you up on that offer bro," he smiled.

------------------

The plane trip was painfully uneventful. One thing they hated was flying. There was not enough space for them to move about and they always found themselves getting restless beyond belief.

Gerard sat next to Frank and the two of them pulled out every single joke they could remember, if anything, just to reminisce and have a good laugh. It didn't take long for Ray to join in. Bob and Mikey were too busy sleeping, heads bumping against each other's shoulders as the turbulence rocked them about.

As much as he hated to admit it, Gerard was already starting to miss touring and the guys. Even though they hadn't even gone home yet, even though they were still all laughing and smiling and talking to each other, Gerard couldn't help but feel a great sense of loneliness that soon, they wouldn't be quite so near each other. He wondered if they felt the same way.

"Look, I can see the landing-strip," Frank cried excitedly as he was beginning to get restless in his seat. He leaned over Gerard to point out the window at the flashing lights that symbolized they were almost home.

Frank lingered for a moment, leaning close to Gerard only so he could see clearly out the window. Guilt washed over Gerard as butterfly’s crept into his stomach. He liked Frank sitting so close, he liked the sound of his steady breathing right by his ear and he even liked that their shoulders were touching.

Gerard continued to stare out the window, determined not to look at Frank or give himself away. What would Frank think if he knew what Gerard was thinking?

Yet, he knew he was just being silly. Frank was his best friend; he was just going to miss him, that was all. It was the first real time, since he had first been introduced to the guitarist, that he would be so far away from him for so long.

The plane landed safely, Mikey and Bob were still sleeping and they discussed amongst themselves whether it would be a good joke just to leave them there and see if the plane would take-off and fly them somewhere else. In the end though, they realised they were home and that they had to stop joking around, so they woke them up and they gathered their luggage as they continued the usual ritual of trying to leave the air-port.

Saying good-bye was the hardest part. Even if it was only temporary. They all knew they were being silly when they hugged each other goodbye and lingered just that little bit longer then usual, but it was really the first time they could ever remember actually making plans to forget the band for a while and actually concentrate on life.

Sure, they knew they would still get together and write some more songs, but it was just going to be different. When you do something non-stop for eight years, it becomes a part of you, now they had to try and separate themselves from it.

They waved their last goodbyes with promises and dates of their first get together and Gerard turned to the face he had missed for so long.

"Hey babe," Lindsey said softly as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him on the lips. "You look so tired."

"Jet lag." He used the first excuse that popped into his head. She seemed satisfied by it as she kissed him again.

"So? We finally going to go home and try and live like normal people?" she asked, grabbing one of his bags as they headed for their car.

"Well, we'll try. But you know I'm not very good at normal ... I thought that was why you married me? Are you trying to change me already?" he pouted, trying to look upset.

"I wouldn't dream of it!" she smiled, pulling him in for another kiss. He couldn't help but smile himself as he looked into her perfect eyes. It was going to be good to go home.

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AN: As promised, 2 chapters up and running. Love, love, love to know what you think. Just to get some direction on this thing.
It's a little crazy, I know, but it's to fun. Let me know if anyones seriously confused about anything, but I promise I'm not that clever, it's pretty self explanatory.