FicWad

"... nor bid my land farewell"

Fred awoke to the sound of Luna singing, and, for a brief moment, wondered how he had stayed on the horse while he was asleep.

"Being a beater for all those years must have helped" He said to himself.

"Plus the baby-harness I whipped up for you" Luna's voice drifted back him "I couldn't have you falling off every five minutes, could I?"

"I guess not" He looked around "Where are we? And what were you singing?"

"About two thirds of the way to Minas Tirith..."

"I thought we were going to Gondor" Fred said, his tone full of confusion.

"It's kind of the same place, but not really" Luna replied "But we are nearly there, and I am sure someone will be happy to sit you down and explain the whole history of Middle Earth after we talk to the Steward"

"Boromir's father?"

"Yeah" Fred noticed that Luna's tone was less than enthusiastic.

"You don't like him?"

"Not really, no"

"Why?"

"Well - he is old, and very set in his ways. He doesn't want to accept that war has come, that The Dark Lord is rising again, and that I can actually be of help to him" She paused "And getting his son killed won't make it any better, nor will the fact that someone I obviously and openly support is about to replace him" Fred thought about this for a moment.

"Harry?"

"Not this time, no" She smirked "But this will all become clear once we get there"

They continued to ride in silence for a while, then Fred looked up again.

"Gandalf?"

"Yes Pippin?"

"Where is Ced taking Draco and Neville?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Well - both you and Hufflepuff boy found something very amusing when you were talking - something that neither of you wanted to share with Draco and Neville"

"Ah. That"

"Yes - that" Fred tried to glare at her, but since she was sat in front of him on the horse, it had very little effect, other than giving him a headache "So - what was it?"

"Well - it's like this" Luna sighed "Aragorn has to get to the coast to stop the ships attacking Minas Tirith"

"Okay"

"But he can't come this way, because it would take too long" She continued "Plus someone might see him"

"Okay"

"So he is going to take a path that is very seldom trodden, that will give him the time he needs"

"That much I understand" Fred said in exasperation "But what is so funny about it?"

"That's the thing" Luna gave a small chuckle "Ask me what the path is called"

"What is the path called?"

"Its called The..."

xoxox

"...PATHS OF THE DEAD?" Draco span round "ARE YOU BLOODY WELL KIDDING ME?" He looked over at Neville "Did you know anything about this?"

"No" Neville shook his head "But if Aragorn says it is the only way, then I am willing to take him at his word"

"We have to get to the coast before the ships set sail" Cedric said "And, short of us all becoming animagi in the next five minutes, I can't see any other way"

"What about Hedwig?" Draco asked hopefully "She carried Gandalf across the fields of Rohan - couldn't she take us?" There was a sudden disturbance behind him, and he span round to see a very angry owl flapping in his face.

"HootHOOTHootHootHootHoot!" (No I bloody well can't carry the three of you. Who do you think I am? Geoff Capes?)

"Who?" But before he could receive an answer, Hedwig flew off again. Draco contemplated pulling out his bow, but by the time he had decided not to, Hedwig was already out of range. He sighed, and turned back "I don't suppose there are any other helpful owls dotted about the land?"

"It wouldn't matter - they are all part of the postal strike, and won't cross the picket line" Cedric said in a resigned tone "Plus when we get to the coast, we will have to fight" He looked at the two of them "And even with your over-inflated sense of Slytherin abilities, can you really see the ten of us defeating several thousand pirates?"

"Okay - okay" Draco held up his hands in surrender "But even if we go through the paths of the dead, we are still only going to be the ten of us when we come out the other side" He smirked "That is assuming the dead don't eat us on the way" He stared over at Cedric "So whether or not we make it out alive, we are still screwed"

"Ah - well..." Cedric trailed off, already anticipating the reaction his next statement would get.

"Well what?"

"I was planning on bringing the dead out with us"

xoxox

"So we are going to Dunharrow?" George asked Theoden, as they rode through the mountain passes.

"Yes" Arthur looked down at him "It is our old mountain stronghold, and where we sent the people of Rohan when we rode to Helm's Deep"

"And Ce.. Aragorn is riding there as well?" When the King nodded, George looked at him curiously "So why aren't we going with him?"

"Ring-Wraiths" Theoden smiled down at him "Aragorn's company has only ten people - they are hard to spot from the air, and can move quickly" He looked around at the company they were riding with "We aren't"

"So we stick to the backroads" He looked around "So what are we going to do when we get there?"

"Check on my people, then go help Gondor"

"Isn't that what Aragorn is doing?"

"Yeah, but we think he might need some help" Theoden grimaced "There are a lot of orcs in Mordor, and they are all coming our way"

"Fantastic" George sighed "So - tell me about Eowyn. Is she really as argumentative as we are told?"

"My boy - you have no idea"

xoxox

"So - that's a lot of orcs then?"

Harry and Hermione stared down at the valley they had to cross, which was filled with hundreds of camp-fires and tents.

"Apparently so" Harry glanced at Hermione "And we have to cross that?"

"Yup" She looked around "And don't look now, but we have another problem" She pointed up to a cliff on their left. Even in the twilight that covered Sauron's realm, they could both see the shadow crawling down the wall.

"So - do we let him follow us, and ignore him until we reach the mountain or..." He trailed off as she walked away, then threw up his arms in resignation "Why am I even here? Are you even paying attention?"

"Pardon?" She turned, and waited for him to catch up "What did you say?"

"Never mind" He looked up "So we are going to talk to him?"

"We can't leave him alone - he will follow us, and try to kill us until he gets this" She tapped the necklace she was wearing "At least if we take him with us, we will know where he is, and what he is planning"

"True" He stared over at the shadow, that had resolved itself in to a small, crawling creature with shocking red hair "But it does mean we have to put up with him, doesn't it"

"Well - yeah" She shrugged "Lesser of two evils"

xoxox

"That's Minas Tirith?" Fred stared up in surprise.

"Pretty, isn't it?" Luna stared up at the white city "The idea is that an enemy can't storm the city in one go, because the doors in the walls aren't in a straight line"

"Can't the Nazgul fly?"

"Yes" Luna stared at him, then up at the city "Yeah - that would kind of screw them up a bit, wouldn't it?"

"Just a little"

They rode up to the gate in silence, then came to a halt.

"Weren't they supposed to open the gate when they see us coming?"

"You know I told you that Denethor isn't my biggest fan?" Fred nodded "I think this is his way of saying I am not welcome"

"But you can do something about it?"

"Am I the smartest witch of my generation?"

"I thought that was Hermione"

"Do you want to come in or not?"

"Sorry. I'll be good"

"Okay" She turned to the door, lifted up her staff, took a deep breath and...

xoxox

"Seriously - I am joining the other side" Draco was staring at Cedric with utter disbelief on his face.

"I know it sounds bad..."

"BAD?" Draco yelled "Realising you are in love with a Gryffindor is bad. Realising that you might have to marry Pansy is bad. This is..." He threw his hands up in the air "I don't think a word has been invented for what this is"

"Which Gryffindor?" Neville asked with a smile. Draco turned and glared at him, but Neville continued to smile back.

"It was a figure of speech"

"Are you sure? Cause the way I saw you staring at..."

"It was. A figure. Of Speech" Draco narrowed his eyes "Anyway - are you sure there is no other way?"

"Not if we are to save Minas Tirith, Gondor and the realm, no" Cedric sighed "If it makes you feel better, I don't like this any more than you do - the spirits in The Paths are... truly terrifying" Draco stared at him for a few minutes, then nodded.

"Okay. I will come with you, on one condition"

"And what would that be?"

xoxox

"Gollum!"

"Yes Mistress?"

"Do you still hold to your promise?"

"Yes Mistress"

"Then come - we have a journey ahead of us"

"Yes Mistress"

"And if you even think about stroking my hair again, I will them off and make you eat them" Hermione gave a small smile as Gollum audibly demonstrated the reason he was no longer known as Smeagol.

"Yes Mistress"

"So, Frodo" Harry walked up behind her "Which way now?"

"Yonder"

"Yonder?"

"Yup"

"You know that is no help at all, don't you?"

"Yup" Hermione smiled at the expression on his face "Oh come on - live a little. What's the worse that could happen?" Harry looked round, then leaned in to whisper.

"Ron could figure out WHY we are walking through Mordor, and I suspect he would take it badly"

"Smeagol knows" A voice came from behind them. They both turned and stared at the crouching figure.

"What does Smeagol know?" Hermione asked imperiously.

"Smeagol won't say" Ron hissed, then suddenly shrieked and dived under a rock.

"Well - that was helpful" Harry sighed "And I know you don't like using the ring over much but..."

"But what?"

"Do you think you could conjure some underpants for him?" Harry shivered "You might enjoy seeing his bits every day, but it is starting to disturb me"

xoxox

"What?" Luna and Fred were being escorted up to the Steward's Chamber after passing through the main gate of Minas Tirith.

"I was expecting... I don't know. Fire? Lightening? A Power The Likes Of Which God Has Never Seen?" He stared at her "I didn't expect you just to knock"

"Denethor hates me already" Luna replied "What do you think he would do if I blew the bloody door off?"

"I suppose" He was silent for a few moments "So - what do you think will happen?"

"I am not sure" Luna said pensively "But, Fred, if you had a moment in your life to be serious, this would be it" She glanced around "Denethor is not a kindly old man, like Theoden. He is proud, and mean, and, quite honestly, a bit of a twat"

"And you think my unique brand of humour would not be appreciated?" Fred sighed "That's a pity, cause this city would be great for pranks"

"Pippin!"

"I will behave, I promise" He smiled at her expression "What's the matter? Don't you trust me?"

xoxox

"My Lord!" Eowyn rode out to greet Aragorn as they rode up to Dunharrow.

"My Lady" He nodded in response "I come for two reasons. The first is to bring you tidings of your father. He is well, and rides back here"

"Cool" Ginny smiled "And your other reason?"

"We wish to tarry here the night, then ride forth in the morning"

"May I ride with you?" She looked up hopefully "I am so bored here, you have no idea. I want to get out, and see the world, make new friends" She smiled at him "Perhaps find me a husband?"

"No my lady - you must remain here, and await the return of your father"

"Why? He can run this place without me, and I am sure you would find me useful on a long journey" She smiled again. He held her gaze for a moment, then turned.

"What's that Legolas? Do you need me for something?" He looked at Draco beseechingly. Draco simply smirked back.

"No, my Lord - we have no need of you" He smirked at the Hufflepuff "You can continue talking to Lady Eowyn" Cedric watched helplessly as the rest of his company rode of towards the halls, leaving him alone with the young princess, who was still grinning at him in a disturbing manner.

"Forgive me, my Lady, but I must go" He turned, and spurred his horse after Draco and Neville. A moment later, he caught up to them "Hate you all" Draco merely grinned at him.

"You think The Sorting Hat made me a Slytherin for my looks?"