Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Guilt is the worst feeling.
Chapter 22 - It’s not a side effect of the coffee, I’m thinking it must be love
3 reviewsThere's coffee and muffins and love and Ryan and Brendon and more love and just a little bit more love...
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Chapter 22 – It’s not a side effect of the coffee, I’m thinking it must be love
Waking up to hear Brendon snoring slightly, next to him, Ryan removed the arm that had sneaked over him in the night and got up. He rummaged in his bag and found the postcard he had bought and a sharpie, then started writing the things that popped into his head. When the postcard was done, he signed it and left it on his vacant pillow, for Brendon to find when he woke up. Making his way over to the door, Ryan suddenly realised he wasn’t dressed, so he returned silently to the wardrobe, trying desperately not to wake up Brendon, before sneaking out again.
When Brendon woke up, he reached over to hold onto Ryan, his eyes scrunched up to keep out the light. Instead of finding another body, his arms just found empty space before falling on the bed. Opening his eyes, Brendon found that the space next to him was indeed empty. Thinking perhaps Ryan was in the bathroom, he called out “Ryan, are you there?” only to be answered by silence. It was then that he spotted the postcard on Ryan’s pillow. Picking it up, he recognised it as the same one that Ryan had bought at the airport, and he smiled, remembering how Ryan wouldn’t tell him who it was for. Now he knew, as he flipped it over and saw his name at the top.
Dear Brendon,
They say that living is the slowest form of suicide. That by purposefully living, you are one step closer to the end, but when I am with you Brendon, I feel as if I could live forever. I can be who I want to be without judgement or stereotype. My potential knows no bounds, for when I am with you, I am free. You are my rock. You are my anchor. You are my body and my soul. You are always in my mind and my heart. I love you and that love will never diminish, it will outlive our bodies and will be eternally ours.
Ryan. Xxx
PS in case you’re wondering where I am, I’m out getting breakfast. X
Brendon re-read the postcard several time, committing it to memory, before putting it back in its original position, getting back into bed and closing his eyes. There he stayed, waiting, until he heard the key in the lock, so he rolled over to hide his face from Ryan, so as not to give himself away.
Ryan walked in, a Starbucks bag in his hands, first seeing Brendon ‘asleep’ and then the postcard on the pillow. Picking it up, he placed it in the bin with a sigh.
“Don’t do that” Brendon said quickly.
“Do what?” Ryan replied, putting down the bags and taking out 2 coffees and two cranberry and orange muffins.
“Don’t throw it away. I want to keep it.”
“You read it?” Ryan asked, confused by what Brendon was saying.
“Yes, I did and it was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, apart from you, that is. I only wish I could put my feelings into words like that, Ry, because I don’t know how you did it. I know this sounds inferior, after what you wrote, but I love you too, with all my heart.”
“You don’t even need to say it, Bren. You being here with me is words enough.” Ryan said before going over to Brendon and kissing him with as much love and passion as he could muster.
Brendon came up for air and Ryan kissed his neck lightly. “Do you want me to stop?” he asked.
“Not really,” Brendon answered “but those coffees are going cold and you know the only smell I love as much as your hair is muffins. You and the muffins shouldn’t be so tempting.”
Ryan chuckled, handed Brendon his breakfast before tucking into his own, feeling utterly contented.
A/n
Oh how it’s been so long. I’m so sorry I’ve been gone. I’ve been busy writing fics for you… actually I’ve been on holiday but you get my drift. Did you all miss me? silence cries if you did, reviews will let me know you still love me.
Xxx Nica xxX
Waking up to hear Brendon snoring slightly, next to him, Ryan removed the arm that had sneaked over him in the night and got up. He rummaged in his bag and found the postcard he had bought and a sharpie, then started writing the things that popped into his head. When the postcard was done, he signed it and left it on his vacant pillow, for Brendon to find when he woke up. Making his way over to the door, Ryan suddenly realised he wasn’t dressed, so he returned silently to the wardrobe, trying desperately not to wake up Brendon, before sneaking out again.
When Brendon woke up, he reached over to hold onto Ryan, his eyes scrunched up to keep out the light. Instead of finding another body, his arms just found empty space before falling on the bed. Opening his eyes, Brendon found that the space next to him was indeed empty. Thinking perhaps Ryan was in the bathroom, he called out “Ryan, are you there?” only to be answered by silence. It was then that he spotted the postcard on Ryan’s pillow. Picking it up, he recognised it as the same one that Ryan had bought at the airport, and he smiled, remembering how Ryan wouldn’t tell him who it was for. Now he knew, as he flipped it over and saw his name at the top.
Dear Brendon,
They say that living is the slowest form of suicide. That by purposefully living, you are one step closer to the end, but when I am with you Brendon, I feel as if I could live forever. I can be who I want to be without judgement or stereotype. My potential knows no bounds, for when I am with you, I am free. You are my rock. You are my anchor. You are my body and my soul. You are always in my mind and my heart. I love you and that love will never diminish, it will outlive our bodies and will be eternally ours.
Ryan. Xxx
PS in case you’re wondering where I am, I’m out getting breakfast. X
Brendon re-read the postcard several time, committing it to memory, before putting it back in its original position, getting back into bed and closing his eyes. There he stayed, waiting, until he heard the key in the lock, so he rolled over to hide his face from Ryan, so as not to give himself away.
Ryan walked in, a Starbucks bag in his hands, first seeing Brendon ‘asleep’ and then the postcard on the pillow. Picking it up, he placed it in the bin with a sigh.
“Don’t do that” Brendon said quickly.
“Do what?” Ryan replied, putting down the bags and taking out 2 coffees and two cranberry and orange muffins.
“Don’t throw it away. I want to keep it.”
“You read it?” Ryan asked, confused by what Brendon was saying.
“Yes, I did and it was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, apart from you, that is. I only wish I could put my feelings into words like that, Ry, because I don’t know how you did it. I know this sounds inferior, after what you wrote, but I love you too, with all my heart.”
“You don’t even need to say it, Bren. You being here with me is words enough.” Ryan said before going over to Brendon and kissing him with as much love and passion as he could muster.
Brendon came up for air and Ryan kissed his neck lightly. “Do you want me to stop?” he asked.
“Not really,” Brendon answered “but those coffees are going cold and you know the only smell I love as much as your hair is muffins. You and the muffins shouldn’t be so tempting.”
Ryan chuckled, handed Brendon his breakfast before tucking into his own, feeling utterly contented.
A/n
Oh how it’s been so long. I’m so sorry I’ve been gone. I’ve been busy writing fics for you… actually I’ve been on holiday but you get my drift. Did you all miss me? silence cries if you did, reviews will let me know you still love me.
Xxx Nica xxX
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