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Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing only characters that appear in this fic and that don't appear in Gundam Wing are mine, like Maisha.

:indicate thoughts:

SWEET LULLABY

Chapter 2: Never say Never

-.Heero's POV.-

It was late already; I grabbed some towels and other guest necessities that were stuffed in the closet. I always thought that they would never be needed but never comes sooner or later. Like for example I never thought Duo would be the one to end up finding me or how it would never had occurred to me that Duo would have a child by now, but of course that's what normal families are about :what is it with me and normal:. My apartment was normal, no, not even my apartment was normal, it was too big, too big for one person, it was made for a/family./ A family I wasn't meant to have or would never /have. Three bedrooms... why would the company think I would need a three bedroom apartment not to mention a big kitchen and living room, /:for/this occasion of course: sure now they're psychic. I have to stop talking to myself. But if not to myself then who? /:Duo//...he's here now: No definitely not. He's still the immature braided baka that I once knew, although just a bit more insecure.

I crept to one of the rooms where Duo was. Unnoticed by them I stood behind the mid closed door and listened to something that just caught my attention for no important reason. Duo was singing a lullaby! Duo who called himself the "GOD OF DEATH" was singing a lullaby the irony. Most of the time he sung and hummed when we were on missions, sad songs, rock songs even, but never a lullaby he always said that he never remembered being sung alullaby and considered them 'stupid' I quote to his exact words. Now he sings a lullaby to his little girl, but never the less it sounded tender and loving, so much that I actually felt a weird sensation in my stomach :maybe it's something I ate:.

"Now you have to sing me my song, that way I can go to sleep..." Maisha giggled at her father's request, she sounded happy that he told her to sing what was supposed to be 'his song'. I listened to the child's voice I couldn't help but actually smile when I heard her sing and hit some high notes when she had to.

"You're my honeybunch, sugarplum,

Pumpy-umpy-umkin, you're my sweetipie

You're my cuppycake, gumdrop,

Snoogums-boogums-spoogums /:giggling/:

You're the apple of my eye

And I love you so and I waaantyou to know

That's I'll always be right here!!

And I looove to sing sweet songs to you

Because you...are ....so... dear..."

"That's my girl! Thank you cuppy-cake..."

Duo clapped and kissed her on the cheek Maisha hugged Duo tightly as if she never wanting to let go. After she did finally let go of him she seemed somewhat troubled with something.

"Daddy, why does uncle Heero look so sad? Is it because mommy died?"

"Oh squirt, it's more than that. But, yeah I suppose you can say that's one of the reasons."

"But if he was mommy's friend and your friend why wasn't he at the funrall..."

"You mean funeral kiddo..." Duo chuckled and tickled the little girl playfully, I leaned back on the door frame, expecting to hear Duo's reply to be 'because he's selfish bastard who never cared' I didn't deserve less but instead, "and he didn't go to your mommy's funeral because no one told him about it, so you see it wasn't his fault it was more my fault." He lied, why did he want to make me the good guy, damn you baka. I felt baffled toward his attitude I would hate me, well I do hate me but why doesn't he hate me?

"Oh I see poor uncle Heero.... And daddy is he always so grumpy and mean?"

Grumpy, am I really that grumpy? I show no emotion that I've been told, cold, robot like but grumpy...

"You know what, you're uncle isn't really mean or at least he doesn't really want to be. Deep inside he has a good heart and I bet you he has a lot of niceness inside of him."

"JUST LIKE SHREK!!" She squealed and giggled, Icouldn't help noticing how hysterical Duo was laughing, who was Shrek? I would have to find out who I had just been compared to.

"Mai you know how much I love you right? You know Iwill never leave you?"

The certain pitch on Duo's voice made me uneasy, what did he mean with those questions; he knew the answers to them why would he ask them. He probably wants to remind her, of course that's it, but why not just say it directly? /:I/ shouldn't be even listening to their conversation, is not right.: And the last thing I heard before I turned to leave was Maisha's soft voice, "I love you too daddy, you're my cuppycake..."

I turned to the living room and sat down on the couch the towels and such by my side, I was caught up in all my thoughts that I didn't hear Duo come near. I looked up when I felt pair of eyes watching m closely. He sat next to me I could still feel his eyes looking at me intensively.

"I know it's been difficult, but you can't keep on blaming yourself for what happened to Quatre.../-sigh-/... he wouldn't have wanted that. I mean look at you Heero, you're a mess, you have bag under your eyes, you look tired and not to mention miserable! You're worst than Quatre when he blamed everything on himself, the war is over Heero and it was over when that happened."

He was right, I hated to admit it, but the truth is hard thing to accept. I was a wreck and definitely miserable, but it still felt like my fault, it was my fault.

"Hn."

"Shit, Heero we've been trying to find you for a long time-"

"We?"

"The others and me"

"Why?"

"Because, we care about you!! Why else?"

"I had to be alone for a while."

"For seven years?!"

I sensed that no matter what I told Duo he wouldn't understand the decision I had made years ago. Seven years was a long time but Iwasn't about to admit to him. /:Did/ I really need all that time?:

After a few minutes of silence I glanced at my hands and asked him the question that had been bothering me for a while now.

"How did Faye die?" I could see he choked at the sound of that question, he avoid looking at me and stared at his own hands that fidgeted while he sighed and began to formulate the answer.

"Sh- ... the cops said that...that she had... committed suicide..." he let out a whimper and my head motioned fast to his direction /:SUICIDE//:/. I looked at him wide eyed in disbelief. I couldn't find any words, none would come out and my thoughts were racing like a thousand miles per hour.

"Suicide..." I let out the word softly; it's something Ihad always contemplating on doing. In the war and after the war that's all Iwanted to end my miserable life. My life meant nothing, it was cheap and unneeded, but Faye she had so much going for her, just like Duo.

"Suicide...that's what they said. To tell you the truth, I don't believe that." My senses reacted to his last sentence.

"What do you mean? You don't think she committed suicide?"

"It's not that I don't think...I know that she didn't do that... I mean you remember Faye, she was never the type of person to have those kinds of thoughts. Sure she got a little bit depressed after the war but it was because her parents died in it, I felt for her, but she wasn't the type to go up and end her life...she told me so." His gaze stood in my eyes, I couldn't do much to take mine of his either, he looked at me expecting me to say something comforting, I could feel that's what he wanted, or me to say that I believed him. But would I tell him something I wasn't even sure of.

"We all change Duo...maybe-"

"NO HEERO! You don't understand... do you know why she named our little girl Maisha?" I looked at him curiously and waited in silence for the answer, "She named her Maisha because it means 'Life', Maisha gave her and me a new life, a great and beautiful life, I life within life."

"Duo, I can understand that. You're baby girl gave you what you needed to be stable while she was born, but what about after, what about these past months? How was she?"

"You think she might've been unhappy don't ya?" I wouldn't answer anymore, all my responses just seemed to hurt more, it's not something I wanted, "Heero Mai's birthday is coming up soon, she was looking forward to give her the best birthday party she could make, she was so happy... and not just that... she was excited that we were going to have another baby."

"Another baby?"

"She was pregnant...now you tell me...do yo think she would have commitedsuicide and killed our baby!?" How would I answer, my head obviously screamed no, but would it do him any good if I told him that? He would probably never live a normal life if he kept on dwelling and trying to find out the cause of Faye's death. But she was his wife the person he loved more than life itself, Iwouldn't know how that feels, I never loved anything, I didn't know the meaning of that word. That word that I heard a lot throughout my life, but felt meaningless. Relena said 'I love you' more than once, but I felt nothing towards those words, I felt them empty just like when I slept with other woman and they said it after we had finished what they called 'making love' . I didn't call it that, I called it lust, and I'm sure they felt it that way also. So that's why I have never said those words or even the word '/love' /itself. Duo did learn the meaning of it, he showed it and here he was caught up in what he called 'love' without having the opportunity to show it to his companion any longer.

"How did the cops find her?"

"I found her when I came back from work."

"Was Maisha present when that happened?"

"No. Thank God I wouldn't be able to live with myself if my baby girl had seen all that. I...went inside, I called her name and she never answered, so I looked in every room..."

:FLASHBACK NARRATED BY DUO:

"Faye...babe where are you." I finally opened the last room, our bed room.

I saw her there, I couldn't believe, maybe it was nightmare? I kept on telling that to myself, till this very day I do that. But it wasn't. There she was lying in tainted red bed, red from her blood, I wanted to scream to cry out for help, but I couldn't, I choked in my own desperation and tears. I have never cried in fear, not even when death toyed with me. I was scared, scared to go near her and find out that she was no longer alive. But without thinking about it to much I started walking towards her, towards the pale mold of the woman who I had sworn to protect with my life. When I got close enough I knew it was over, she laid there a gun in one hand and the other hand spread to the other side, a whole was carved into her beautiful head. I did the only thing I could I grabbed her hugged her told her not leave me, that I was nothing without her, I wept, I cried...I felt like dying with her. The shinigami, I called myself that in the war over and over, I laughed in Deaths face and now death was taking its revenge. I cursed and yelled, "why didn't you take me you son of a bitch." But like they say payback is a bitch.

I must've been yelling pretty hard because what seemed like an eternity for me but now thinking back on it, it wasn't, our neighbor Delia appeared in the room. Tired probably from running, when she entered she froze near the door frame, she stood there wide eyed and looked at me holding my wife's empty body rocking her like she was a baby, I was in a long trance just wanting for her to wake up...she looked like she was going to be sick. After she covered her mouth and tears formed in her eyes, she let out a scream, aterrifying one; I cringed and finally noticed that she was there. But I only looked at her for a few seconds and then I turned back to look at Faye, every time I looked at her it was like I had discovered her like that again. I didn't notice when Delia left nor did I notice when the police enter the room, until they grabbed me and took her from me. I was pissed, they had taken her life, and now they wanted to take her cold lifeless body from me, but then I realized it wasn't them who had taken her life it was someone else.

Detectives came in trying to see if I had something to do with Faye's death, they tried to calm me down, but nothing could, I was also like a lifeless body. When they retrieved all the evidence they needed, they hurried to take out Faye's body into the ambulance, my heart tore up even more, I ran to her once more, but only to be pulled back by two men, I let out a cry once more.

Later that day Trowa showed up, he said nothing, he knew there was nothing he could say to make me feel better, so he did the only thing he could, he hugged me and cried with me something I never saw him do. I told him to take care of Maisha for a while Icouldn't look at my little girl, what would I say when she'd asked where her mommy was? How could I even look at her?

A few days later the cops called me up.

"Mr. Maxwell, we have found no evidence that you were involved in your wife's death."

"I know that already...I wouldn't hurt my wife. Do you know who killed her?"

"Uh...Mr. Maxwell, with all the evidence we have been lead to believe that no one killed your wife... it was act of suicide."

Death laughed at me again, it looked at me and laughed, like it was a demon that I couldn't shake off. I wanted to kill everybody in that room even myself.

The cops closed the case and I went home, I reminded myself that I had a little girl to take care of, a little girl that no longer had a mother, but did have father that loved her immensely.

:END FLASHBACK:

I looked at Duo the whole time he was talking, he whimpered when he mentioned her name, his voice cracked from time to time, and I actually felt his pain. I felt tears threatening to come out, but still Ifought them and held them back, I didn't want Duo to feel worst.

"Duo...I...I'm," before I could finish I embraced Duo, he sobbed and wept, his face on my left shoulder, I could feel my shirt getting wet with his tears, but I didn't care it was the least of my worries. After he finished I let him go, I could see it in his face, hesaid that I looked tire, but he looked even worst.

"Duo you should rest... we'll talk tomorrow if you like." I meant it, I wanted to be there for him at least this once, I know I missed a lot in 7 years, but it was the best I could do, be there for him now.

"You're right, thanks Heero for everything. You're agreat buddy..." he said trying to be himself again, he patted me on the back and headed for his bedroom door.

"Good-night Heero."

"Good night."

O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O

The nightmare was the same. Quatresmiling and then his smile fades away, his image replaced with his casket. Iwake up panting and sweating like I always do, the only thing different this time is that I had an observer watching me carefully. I looked at the clock, it read 9:00 a.m. My spectator speaks after a while.

"Did you have nightmare uncle Heero?"

"Uh...yeah I guess it was."

"My mommy always told me to drink a glass of water...and then to say a little prayer...like 'holy God please...pretty please...make the nightmare go away' and he always listens and makes it go away." I was amused by her advice; she smiled at me happily like she had found the cure to a disease. I avoided commenting on her advice, so she decided to talk again.

"Uncle Heero..." she waited for me to reply.

"Yes."

"I'm hungryyy...." I laughed in the inside, she blushed while she said it, and it was kind of adorable.

"Okay... I'll make something."

I told her to go watch television while I changed into decent clothes. I figured Duo would still be sleeping, since he was always the last of the pilots to wake up.

"Mai, could you wake you're father up?"

"Daddy's not here."

"What? What do you mean?"

"Yesterday he said good-bye to me. He said he would be back for me in a week."

I tried to let the information sink in, when it did Iheaded to where Duo was supposed to be sleeping, but the bead was made and on top was what seemed to be a letter.

:Duo you son of bitch! Where did you go?:

Angry, confused, annoyed, I didn't know what to feel, he went to who knows where and left only a letter, what the fuck was he thinking?

"Uncle Heero. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm just... -sigh-...forget it."

"Don't worry, he'll come back, he told me so and he said he would never leave me ever! I believe him,you have to believe him too."

:It's me I don't trust not Duo...what am I going to do?:

"Ummm...Uncle Heero sir...I'm still hungry..."

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I know this chapter is kind of short but I still hope is better than the last. Thanks to jdeppgirl4 who reviewed!! Thank you so much, next chapter will have more to do with Maisha and Heero I promise. Please keep on reading and keep sending the Reviews!!

Much love to all of you!!

P.S. The song Maisha sang to Duo is called "Cuppycake song" it's a really adorable song,I don't own it so don't sue. And Maisha does mean 'Life', I chose Maisha without actually knowing, but after a while I was looking into name meanings and found that Maisha meant life, I was so excited cause it goes perfectly with this fic! It's just an extrainformation

P.S.S. Yes I know Shrek doesn't exist, but really Heero does remind you of him, except that Heero is really cute. But you just imagine that they re-mastered that movie in the future...I mean they re-made Cinderella and all those Disney classics why not Shrek -.- ,I'm really reallysorry...heck I want to use Shrek...

But anyway don't worry it's a onetime thing.