Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > I Will Follow You Into The Dark
It felt like I was falling and I reached out, trying hard to grasp something, anything to stop me but there was nothing in sight. I could see the ground getting closer and closer to me…
...I jerked up, awake, covered in a thick film of sweat, my heart racing. My eyes slowly adjusted to the dark of the room, his room, the room I had claimed as my own and I quickly switched on my lamp, grabbing my glasses, shoving them on and looking about the room. Finally convinced that it was empty I allowed myself to calm down. Wiping the sweat from my face and rubbing my eyes beneath my glasses. I looked over at me clock, its red numbers glaring 2:16 at me. I didn’t like the red numbers, counting down the time in the colour of blood. I knew I was never going to get to sleep now.
I swung my legs over the side of the bed, ignoring the tangled up sheets that now lay on the floor and climbed up the stairs. I stopped at the door and listened before unlocking it and stepping into the hallway. I checked both ways and up the stairs. My bedroom light was still on so Gerard must still be awake, blanching slightly I tore my eyes from the door and went into the living room. Keeping close to the wall I spotted Frank asleep on the couch. I knew he would have done so but even still I went over to the front door and double checked it was still locked. Next I crept past him and into the kitchen where I checked the backdoor was locked. It was. Looking up I jumped as I saw my reflection in the mirror, the shock of my sudden appearance in the glass making me almost start crying but instead I cursed to myself. I was a weakling, nothing more, nothing less. I couldn’t even see my own reflection without starting.
He had forgotten to close the curtains. Why had he forgotten? He knows I don’t like having them open. He knows I don’t like it when people can see in.
I threw the curtains shut and took a deep calming breath, like Frank had told me to do before I got a glass of water and sat at the kitchen table. Still and silent like every other night. Like every night that had passed. Like every night yet to come.
The wall held nothing new. No new splashes from Frank’s cooking which he would desperately try to get me too eat.
It was still.
Silent.
But soon my ears began to pick up on the tick-tick-ticking of the clock in the next room. I tried to train my brain away from it. Closed my eyes, gritted my teeth, clamped my hands over my ears but it was still there inside my head. Tick-tick-tick. I growled and threw the glass of water next to me against the wall. I hunched over the table, hands in fists, breathing deeply, sobs beginning to wrack my body.
Before I knew it Frank was at my side. He held me close, holding my arms close to my sides as I turned my head and sobbed into his shoulder. Soon I began to feel his body shaking too, feel the tears soaking into the fabric of my shirt, as my own were doing with his.
Gerard’s POV
I was sleeping lightly when I heard a crash. Hurriedly I stood up and rushed downstairs. Seeing the living room empty I ran to the kitchen and stopped short in the doorway. Water was dripping down ones of the walls and shattered glass was strewn around the room. There in the centre stood Mikey and Frank, clutching one another. Mikey was hysterical, grasping onto Frank’s top as if he’d die without it. Frank stood there trying to comfort him though I could see his own shoulders shaking.
My own eyes filled up as I watched them standing there. Mikey needed me, he just couldn’t see that. He needed to hear me out. To know it wasn’t me acting that night. I just didn’t want him hurt or worse, dead. Yet he didn’t want to see me. He didn’t want me near him. Because of him I had lost Mikey not only as my lover but as my brother. And there’s nothing more I wanted to do other than hold him again. At least like a brother. I wanted to rid him of his pain like the times when we were kids and he’d fall over in the park. And I was always there, with hugs and band aids and hot chocolate in his favourite Batman mug. But this couldn’t be so easily dealt with.
Mikey suddenly looked up, his eyes catching my own. He flinched and looked away, crossing his arms over his body in a defensive manner. I only looked on sadly as Frank tried to convince him that I wasn’t going to hurt him, that maybe we should talk. Mikey vehemently shook his head. I closed my eyes and let my tears fall before I turned round and ran up to Mikey’s room, closing the door and sliding down it, crying for all that had been lost.
...I jerked up, awake, covered in a thick film of sweat, my heart racing. My eyes slowly adjusted to the dark of the room, his room, the room I had claimed as my own and I quickly switched on my lamp, grabbing my glasses, shoving them on and looking about the room. Finally convinced that it was empty I allowed myself to calm down. Wiping the sweat from my face and rubbing my eyes beneath my glasses. I looked over at me clock, its red numbers glaring 2:16 at me. I didn’t like the red numbers, counting down the time in the colour of blood. I knew I was never going to get to sleep now.
I swung my legs over the side of the bed, ignoring the tangled up sheets that now lay on the floor and climbed up the stairs. I stopped at the door and listened before unlocking it and stepping into the hallway. I checked both ways and up the stairs. My bedroom light was still on so Gerard must still be awake, blanching slightly I tore my eyes from the door and went into the living room. Keeping close to the wall I spotted Frank asleep on the couch. I knew he would have done so but even still I went over to the front door and double checked it was still locked. Next I crept past him and into the kitchen where I checked the backdoor was locked. It was. Looking up I jumped as I saw my reflection in the mirror, the shock of my sudden appearance in the glass making me almost start crying but instead I cursed to myself. I was a weakling, nothing more, nothing less. I couldn’t even see my own reflection without starting.
He had forgotten to close the curtains. Why had he forgotten? He knows I don’t like having them open. He knows I don’t like it when people can see in.
I threw the curtains shut and took a deep calming breath, like Frank had told me to do before I got a glass of water and sat at the kitchen table. Still and silent like every other night. Like every night that had passed. Like every night yet to come.
The wall held nothing new. No new splashes from Frank’s cooking which he would desperately try to get me too eat.
It was still.
Silent.
But soon my ears began to pick up on the tick-tick-ticking of the clock in the next room. I tried to train my brain away from it. Closed my eyes, gritted my teeth, clamped my hands over my ears but it was still there inside my head. Tick-tick-tick. I growled and threw the glass of water next to me against the wall. I hunched over the table, hands in fists, breathing deeply, sobs beginning to wrack my body.
Before I knew it Frank was at my side. He held me close, holding my arms close to my sides as I turned my head and sobbed into his shoulder. Soon I began to feel his body shaking too, feel the tears soaking into the fabric of my shirt, as my own were doing with his.
Gerard’s POV
I was sleeping lightly when I heard a crash. Hurriedly I stood up and rushed downstairs. Seeing the living room empty I ran to the kitchen and stopped short in the doorway. Water was dripping down ones of the walls and shattered glass was strewn around the room. There in the centre stood Mikey and Frank, clutching one another. Mikey was hysterical, grasping onto Frank’s top as if he’d die without it. Frank stood there trying to comfort him though I could see his own shoulders shaking.
My own eyes filled up as I watched them standing there. Mikey needed me, he just couldn’t see that. He needed to hear me out. To know it wasn’t me acting that night. I just didn’t want him hurt or worse, dead. Yet he didn’t want to see me. He didn’t want me near him. Because of him I had lost Mikey not only as my lover but as my brother. And there’s nothing more I wanted to do other than hold him again. At least like a brother. I wanted to rid him of his pain like the times when we were kids and he’d fall over in the park. And I was always there, with hugs and band aids and hot chocolate in his favourite Batman mug. But this couldn’t be so easily dealt with.
Mikey suddenly looked up, his eyes catching my own. He flinched and looked away, crossing his arms over his body in a defensive manner. I only looked on sadly as Frank tried to convince him that I wasn’t going to hurt him, that maybe we should talk. Mikey vehemently shook his head. I closed my eyes and let my tears fall before I turned round and ran up to Mikey’s room, closing the door and sliding down it, crying for all that had been lost.
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