FicWad

I walked up to the site’s shop. I pushed open the door and the people queing and serving looked up in a nosey fashion, after being alerted by the tinkling bell, to see who had entered the store. I walked along on ailse and picked up a box of painkillers to relieve my headache. It was mostly caused by the drinking but some of it was the niggling feeling in my brain that I may have screwed up something that had only just begun. I had barely spoken to him. I knew nothing about him apart that he was a musician of some sort and that he was American. Even if we had been involved in some in-depth conversation I remember as much of that as I did about anything else that had happened previously. I joined the back of the queue. The man ahead of me recognised me from being part of the staff. “You look a bit worse for wear.” I raised one eyebrow not knowing if this was a sympathetic observation or a not so sympathetic insult. “Oh don’t get me wrong. It’s just you look quite tired.” Yeah but I would like to know for definate why I feel so tired. Was it just because of a late night or late night activities? I thought to myself. All I could give as a reply is, “Yeah I feel it.”

“Well if you’re working tonight then I’ll buy you a drink.” I smiled yet the thought of alcohol made me feel queasy. I paid for my painkillers and bought some cigarettes as well. Before I left the smug member of staff that was serving the customers in the store said, “Looked as if you were having fun last night.” I looked at him bizarly. Who was this chump? “I’m Cody,” he said as if reading my mind. “And you are?” I didn’t even reply but took my change, my cigarettes and walked away. As soon I exited through the doors, I lit up a cigarette and went to walk back home. When I turned though Gerard was standning in front of me. I stepped to the left to walk around him but he blocked my way. “I need to talk to you.”

“About what? I don’t think that we need to talk about anything. You obviously don’t want to discuss anything otherwise you wouldn’t have stormed out.”

“You really are oblivious to what happened last night aren’t you?” He stepped out of my way and started walking alongside me. “There was nothing wrong with last night Nic.” I cringed as he said this. “I’ve never felt as satisfied.” I cringed more. “You think I can’t see you cringing but I can.” I glanced up at him and then stopped. “Look I just feel slightly embarressed by the whole situation. What happened shouldn’t have happened. Not as quickly anyway. We need to get to know each other a lot before even considering going any further.” I told him.

“I thought we got to know each other quite well last night actually.” I rolled my eyes. He was waiting for another response. “Well what do you want Gerard? Another night like that? Is that what you’re waiting for me to say?”

“I just thought It was cute how you opened up for me.” I stared open-mouthed. How is that cute? “Well I will not be opening up for you again!” I felt a tap on my shoulders and saw Cody behind me. He handed me my painkillers that I had left behind. I was at the point where I really needed them now. Now that was cringe-worthy.

Why was my day so much like this today? When Cody walked away I turned my attention back to Gerard and said a little more quiet. “Never again.”

“I don’t see why though.” Exhuasted with the conversation and seeing it getting us nowhere and also sensing that we could be going round in circles, I walked away from him. “Why are you so uptight about telling me about growing up and your feelings about life?” I stopped suddenly. “What?” I asked confused but slightly panicked. Gerard caught up with me and explained, “Last night Ray, Bob you and me were all talking about different things and we all opened up about fears and loves and hates. You were on a roll. I opened up a lot to you as well.” He stood watching my face trying to figure out all of this information. All morning I had been worrying about what had happened and the only touching moment that happened between us was sharing thoughts and feelings. While I was digesting everything Gerard asked me what I had thought has happened for me to be acting this way. I didn;t even cause myself the embarressment. Gerard smirked. “Did you think we...?” He didn’t need to finish the sentence. I started looking awkward and tried to find a way to change the subject. I couldn’t though and just used the walking away method. As I started walking off again and Gerard called after me... again. “Where are you going? I thought this was all sorted.”

“I’m going to talk to Frank.”