Categories > Anime/Manga > Witch Hunter Robin > Hidden Feelings
Chapter 1 : Hide And Seek
1 review2 years After the fall of the factory, Amon tris to keep his feelings for Robin under controle, and all Robin wants is Amon.
0Boring
Reviews
Hidden Feelings
(#) Ithilwen 2006-04-23
This chapter would be stronger if you'd established what they'd been up to since the fall of the factory or why they were living together.
Grammar et al:
"Caught," not "cot."
"to check on Amon," not to "cheek."
Never "took" his shirt off.
Numbers that take two words or fewer to say should be written out: two years, seventeen days, one-half of a gallon, 3.14, temperature of 98.6 degrees, five million stars, 301 spots.
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