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Ch.13; Second Thoughts


{{Franks POV}}


When Frank woke up, he was dizzy and lightheaded. He sat up and looked around, realizing he was in his own bed, and found a damp washcloth by him. The room was dark so Frank couldn't see much farther than his face. His head pounding, Frank got out of his bed and stumbled to his door. Opening the bedroom door, Frank could see the flashing lights from his television and could faintly hear it. He figured Gerard was out in the living room so he made his way there to find Gerard passed out on the couch. Frank turned the tv off and sat on the couch next to Gerard before he fell over since he was so lightheaded. As Frank sat down, Gerard woke up. "Sorry I woke you." Frank half mumbled.

"Its ok. What time is it?" Gerard asked sleepily.

"No idea." Frank said closing his eyes and leaning his head against the back of the couch to relieve the pressure from his head.

"How are you feeling?" Gerard asked moving closer to Frank. He felt Gerard's hand on his forehead for a brief moment. "Frankie, you're still burning up." Gerard told him in a worried voice.

"I'm just really lightheaded." He told him with his eyes still shut.

"You should be in bed!" Gerard raised his voice slightly as he spoke. Frank just moaned and kept his eyes shut. "So get your ass there!" Gerard ordered him.

"I'm fine." Frank snapped back at him. "I told you I have a really bad headache, and that's all!" Frank grabbed his head and leaned farther back on the couch, pain coursing through his skull.

"Bullshit and you know it!" Gerard sounded pissed off but Frank just ignored him. Suddenly, Gerard lifted Frank from the couch and carried him back to the bedroom. He put Frank on the bed where Frank had woken up minutes before. "Keep your ass there!" He told Frank and then left. Frank buried his head in his pillow, trying anything to relieve the pressure. Never had he felt so much pain and it was quickly becoming unbearable for him. A few moments later, Gerard returned and sat on the bed next to Frank. "Here." he said to Frank, his voice soft again.

"What?" Frank mumbled, trying not to move too much. He found that the pain would subside a bit if he remained motionless. Gerard lifted Frank's head slowly up and put an icepack wrapped in a dish towel on Frank's pillow then put Frank's head back down.

"I also brought you some water." He said softly. "I'll leave it on your nightstand." Gerard kissed Frank's cheek before getting off the bed and heading for the door. The ice pack made Frank feel significantly better, but his head still pounded and he got the rest of himself comfortable then closed his eyes, eventually falling asleep.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

When Frank opened his eyes, his bedroom was illuminated from the sun's morning rays. The light filled his room but was still dim so he knew it was still early morning. He lifted his head slowly and was relieved that he no longer had so much pressure trapped inside his head. Frank still had a pretty bad headache but it was nowhere near as bad as the one he had the previous night. Still exhausted, Frank put his head back on the pillow and stared at the wall opposite him. He realized that the ice pack Gerard had given him during the night was still freezing cold so he figured Gerard must have switched it while Frank was asleep. The chilled pillow numbed Frank's head and he kept it on the center of the ice pack as he stared into space.

Frank laid like that for probably twenty minutes before Gerard came in. He walked to Frank and when he realized Frank was awake, Gerard smiled and sat by him, brushing his hand across Frank's face. "Feeling better today?" He asked in a soft sweet voice. Gerard's hand rested on Frank's for a moment and then he rubbed Frank's head. "You don't feel as hot but that could be from the ice packs." Gerard said to himself.

"I feel a lot better thanks to you." Frank told Gerard with a smile. He sat up and put his arms around Gerard's neck then rested his head on Gerard's shoulder. "Why are you so good to me?" He asked with slight amusement. Gerard put his arms around Frank's neck and rested his forehead on Frank's so they were eye to eye.

"Because I'm perfect." He said with a smile and a laugh then he pulled away from Frank and took Frank's arms off him. "Now come on, get up. We have stuff to do." Frank fell back onto his bed and pulled his blanket over his head. "Come on Frankie, get up." Gerard said, amusement still weaved in his voice, knowing Frank was making a game of the situation.

"I don't wanna." Frank said like a bratty child as he held the blanket over himself.

"Now, now, Frankie." Gerard said like a warning parent but his voice was in no way harsh but instead full of amusement. Frank felt Gerard climb on top of him and sit down. Frank kneed Gerard, causing Gerard to fall off Frank and onto the bed. "That's it!" Gerard climbed back on top of Frank, laughing. Gerard began to poke Frank's sides until Frank burst with laughter while kicking and waving his arms frantically from underneath his blanket. "You going to get up now?" He asked Frank, dodging the flying limbs.

"Never!" Frank gasped out and re-buried himself underneath the sheets. Gerard stopped and got off Frank.

"Fine. I'll just go play with your guitar." He told Frank and when he heard the bedroom door shut, Frank quickly uncovered himself and hastily ran to the door, opening it and chasing Gerard.

"No! You suck at guitar!" Frank called after him. "You'll break it!" Frank ran after Gerard and once they reached the end of the hall, Frank jumped onto Gerard's back causing them both to fall to the ground. Right as the two hit the floor, the door clicked open and revealed Ray standing on the porch. Instantly, Gerard and Frank began laughing and Ray tilted his head backwards, sighing heavily.

"I don't want to know." He told them as they continued laughing. Ray walked in and shut the door behind him then put Frank's keys on a small table. He stepped over Frank and Gerard to go to the kitchen. Frank, still laughing, stood up and brushed himself off as Gerard quickly followed. The followed Ray into the kitchen and found him working on making coffee. When the Way coffee obsession grew, everyone learned how to make it for safety precautions. "So what are today's plans?" Ray asked as Frank and Gerard sat at the table. Frank still had a headache but it was nothing he couldn't get through the day with.

"Nothing major." Gerard said as he anxiously awaited the coffee to be done.

"Staying home sounds good." Frank said after Gerard. Gerard laughed slightly which made Frank start laughing causing Gerard to laugh harder until both were bright red with laughter.

"What is so funny?" Ray asked with confusion.

"I, have, no, idea!" Frank said between gasps for breath. Ray sighed and went back to making the coffee as both Frank's and Gerard's heads hit the table. Once they calmed down yet again, the coffee was ready and Gerard guzzled half the pot instantly.

"What should I tell the others then?" Ray asked when they finished the coffee.

"Tell Bob we're taking it easy today and he can come chill here if he wants." Gerard told him, making sure every ounce of coffee was out of both his cup and the pot. He completely ignored the fact that Ray meant Mikey as well. Frank had heard from Ray that the two had an argument after Mikey punched Frank, but he didn't think it was bad enough for Gerard not to even acknowledge Mikey's existence. They had always been so close.

"What do you want me to tell Mikey?" Ray asked Gerard semi annoyed.

"Nothing." Gerard said calmly.

"Don't you think he has a right to-" Ray started when Gerard cut him off.

"No, I don't think he has the right." Gerard had suddenly become really pissed off. He apparently was really upset with his brother. "He can't respect Frank nor our relationship." Gerard yelled. Frank was still upset with Mikey for flipping out on him, but he didn't think it was right for Mikey to be left out.

"Yeah but he's your broth-" Frank tried to tell Gerard calmly when Gerard almost took his head off. Gerard's mood had greatly changed from what it was about a half hour ago.

"I have no brother." Neither Frank nor Ray ever expected to hear that sentence come from either of the Way brother's mouths. Frank could see the pain in Gerard's eyes when he said that. "I'm going for a walk." Gerard mumbled as he stood up.

"Like hell you are!" Frank said harshly to him. "You still haven't fully recovered from your last walk!" Frank was frustrated that Gerard couldn't understand he was still weak, even if he didn't feel it, and Frank started yelling too.

"Frank, calm down." Ray said to him but Frank didn't hear because he was still yelling at Gerard.

"If you catch the littlest of colds, you could die!"

"So I'm supposed to live the rest of my life in a fucking bubble or house?" Gerard yelled back at him.

"That's not what I mean and you know it!" Frank wanted to smack sense into Gerard since he wasn't getting it any other way. He took deep, slow breaths to calm donw. "Look," he started more calmly, "I don't want to see you end up back in the hospital." Frank took Gerard's hand into his. "You have to take it easy for a few days. Then you can go back to taking over the world." Frank told him trying to smile but Gerard just pulled away from Frank.

"Hey, aren't you supposed to be taking something?" Ray suddenly asked. Frank had forgotten all about the prescription that was given to Gerard back in New York.

"I'm not taking any drugs." He told Ray sternly. "And you don't control my life." Gerard told Frank to his face. It was quite a different statement than he was told the previous night. Frank felt like a knife went through his chest and into his heart. "So I'm going for a walk." It was like Gerard was a defiant teenager as he headed for the door.

"Fine!" Frank shouted after him. "Get something and die! See if I care!" Frank began to cry slightly as he sat back down, his head screaming with pain again. Gerard slammed the door shut and Ray took in a deep breath.

"It's ok Frankie." Ray told him. "He has an hour to make contact before I go set out to find him." Ray rubbed Frank's back gently. "He's just upset. I spoke to Alicia this morning and Mikey didn't have an easy night either." Frank began to tune Ray out as he thought about Gerard. All he could think about was Gerard getting really sick from something simple and it would cause him to die. Frank couldn't lose Gerard. He was all Frank had left.

"I'm going to lay down." Frank told Ray as he stood up and headed for his room. "Help yourself to whatever you find. Just please don't wake me if I fall asleep." He said to Ray before he started to disappear but turned back to Ray, "For anything," he said holding back tears, "or anyone." Frank went into his bedroom and closed the door tightly behind him. He climbed onto his messy bed and laid across the middle of it.

He loved Gerard with all his heart, but Frank was starting to wonder if they would ever be able to stay together. Gerard just couldn't take proper care of himself and he would argue with anyone who tried to help. It was wearing Frank out and he was getting frustrated of always ending up at a dead end. He grabbed his pillow and rested his pounding head on it then shut his eyes. Frank didn't know if he cried because of Gerard or if he cried from the pain in his head, but either way he ended up crying himself to sleep.