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italics: thoughts

Chapter 4

Ryan tried to let the hot water soothe him. He tried to think of all Keltie's inperfections, so that he wouldn't be troubled by having her gone. He soon found out, though, that he wasn't really upset about Keltie anymore. What was really upsetting him was having Brendon mad at him.
Brendon...
Wait, what? Why did he just think Brendon's name like that? That wasn't normal...he liked girls, right? But then part of him started to argue with him. It felt so right to have Brendon's arms around him, he loved to listen to Brendon's voice, no matter what he was saying with it.

He sighed and turned off the water. He wasn't sure he was ready for the tense atmosphere that there was sure to be. He dried off and dressed in black skinny jeans and a lime green t-shirt.
He began to blowdry his hair, and as he did, his thoughts drifted back to Brendon. His perfectly puffed up lips, his chocolatey brown hair and eyes to match...

"Holy Shit! Ow!" His head began to burn, and he realized that he'd been blowdrying the same spot on his head for 5 minutes, with the temperature on "hot".

Smart, Ryan.

When his hair was dry, he applies a thin line of black eyeliner around each eye, and puts on his black converse. He gets his phone and his keys, and heads out the door, barely remembering to lock the door behind him. In the car, he tries to calm himself again. Knowing him, Brendon was going to be difficult enough without the added pressure from Ryan.

He pulled up to Spencer's place, and let himself in with his key copy.
"Hey, Ry! We're in here!" Spencer called from the living room.
He walks in to find Spencer and Jon deconstructing the drum set.
Jon gasps. "Ryry!" and tackles Ryan in a huge bear hug. "I missed you so much!"
Ryan chuckles. "It's great to see you too, Jon."
Jon releases him and sits back down to to drum set.
"Hey Spence."
"Hey Ryan. You okay?"
Ryan sighs. "Yeah, im better, a little bit." Then he notices Brendon sitting quietly on the couch, way abnormal for Brendon.
"Hey Bren."
"Ryan." Brendon's words were harsh and clipped.
Spencer looks over at him. "Okay Brendon, what's goin on? You should be happy to see Ryan. He hasn't been outside in like two weeks."
Brendon doesn't reply.
"Oh, so Brendon, I guess you didn't tell them about your little visit?"
Brendon looks at Ryan. "Did you expect me to frickin tell them about that?"
Ryan shrugs. "No. But unless you come talk to me in the kitchen about it, theyre gonna find out, cuz im gonna talk to you about it whether we're alone or not."
Spencer looks back and forth between Ryan and Brendon. "What? What happened? Tell me!"
"We'll tell you when we think you need to know." Ryan felt like a parent with a secret. Which he kindof was. Grumbling, Brendon walks into the kitchen, and Ryan follows him.
"Well?" Ryan demands.
"Well what?"
Ryan rolls his eyes. "What is your fucking problem?!"
"Well Ryan, think about it. I practically spilled my feelings for you all over the place, and you couldn't even respect that it was really hard for me to do that, and then you started screaming around and-"
Ryan smiled and brought his lips down on Brendon's.

**
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