- Blah rough draft my arse! Good introduction into what is to come, I shall keep on reading now... especially after that hint of what you gave me. Hehe, I love Auron saying not to wait up.. hmm... wonder what those two will be up to. ^_^
Author\'s Response: You spoil me. There's a few clunky phrasings and awkward transitions in these two chapters where the stitches between writing sessions are clearly showing. But I wanted to shaaaaare. :) Glad you liked!
- I like the way you set the scene of the Crusader camp.
You write the interactions between the characters well. I enjoyed how Auron was so implacable in dealing with Yuna's desire to chase after Lulu.
I like that Wakka was so very concerned about her. I also enjoy the silly way he tried to blame it on Rikku. That seems quite like him.
- I am finally getting a chance to read this looker, yes indeed.
Except a few consecutive reviews from me as I'll just them as I go. You have the characters' voices and temperaments down very well of course, and your narration is both poetic and neutral, I like that.
I also find your idea on the Kimhari/Auron chest thump very touching, considering Auron's sending, of course. It's those little details that crunch the heart. :)
(#) pyrefly_sky 2006-05-09There are a few things I really liked in this chapter.
The way that Auron demands authority over the other guardians, he truly is the only one who could openly tell any of them what to do and get away with it!
Also I like how he notices Lulu being quiet and comments on it, Auron is after all more of a watcher when with the entire group and it would make sense that he would be the first to pick up on little details like that but not feel the need to voice them at the time.
The mood is set very nicely, I can "see" it playing out beautifully.
Also I love that Wakka tries to blame Rikku and how Auron and Kimarhi interact without speaking. Fantastic character touches! You don't see that often, most people can only write a few characters well, everyone seems perfectly themselves in this! Well done!
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