Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > How To Bang Miley Cyrus by Gerard Way

Rule #7

by WtfItsMe 0 reviews

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: G - Genres: Drama,Humor,Romance - Characters: Bob Bryar,Frank Iero,Gerard Way,Mikey Way,Ray Toro - Published: 2008-11-08 - Updated: 2008-11-09 - 3158 words

“Hey, dude. Are you better? I brought your homework from school” said the voice.

I opened my eyes, slowly. Pain rippled. It even hurt to breathe. I saw that three of my friends, whose names are Ray, Frank, and Bob, were here and some random person I couldn’t identify.

“Yeah, I’m better. Thanks for the homework, but do you really think I can do homework if I can barely go to the bathroom to take a piss?” I asked.

“Well, yeah I guess so, but we all kinda wanted to see how you were doin’ anyways,” Bob said while laying down the books known as my homework on the table beside my bed.
Frank came closer to me and examined my state. “You know, you’re a very stupid person. It’s not worth landing yourself in the hospital,” Frank stated, trying to sound very wise.

“We’ll all look back on this and laugh right?!” I said while managing a chuckle to come out.
“Yeah… Or we could just all laugh right now! Hahahahaha!”, Ray laughed.

“Laughing at a bruised man. Shame on you. And you! Who are you, laughing at me too?!” I asked while pointing to the unknown person in my room. That dude looks like a hobo.

“Oh him? That’s No Friends Foley! He’s the one that’s always wanders the halls with no purpose, the one that’s alone all the time, the one that just stares at everyone and listens in on conversations, the one with no friends, you know the one that-…” informed Frank who was cut off by ‘No Friends Foley’ who said in a very annoyed fashion, ”Okay, okay, I think he gets it. Hi, I’m Foley. You’re Gerard Way, right?”

“Yeah…Hi. So why are you here? Not to be rude, but we aren’t exactly buddies or anything.” I asked, too lazy to shake the hand Foley held out.

“I invited him! He just looked so lonely! You know, no friends! He was just wonderin’ around with nothing to do all sad and weird lookin’, so I asked if he had anything to do and-…” said Frank, once again cut off by Foley saying, “Can I please speak for myself next time? Thank you. Yeah, this freak looking guy invited me.”

“Hey! You callin’ me a freak?!” Frank yelled, moving closer to Foley ready to pounce at any second.

“Why, yes I did. You do look freakish. You’ve got peircings and tattoos all over…makes me go ugh! And you called me weird looking!” he responded.

“Fair. Sorry, dude.” He responded, backing up a bit and lowering his guard.

“Okay… Well anyways, what’s up, guys? Anything new?” I asked.

“Everyone’s talkin’ about you at school! Miley’s being bitchy, as usual. That’s basically it.”
Bob said.

“Oh God. Tell me when that’s over so I can get back to school without crap.” I replied.

“Can do! Well, me and Bob has gots to go! We’re heading to my house to do some important stuff. Bye!” Ray said.

“What important stuff?! You guys are dating! Aren’t you?!” I yelled after them both.

As soon as Bob was about to close the door of my room, he came back in red faced and gave me the finger. “Ooh, the finger. I’m so scared!” I said in mock fear. I knew that he had recently had a crush on Ray and I find every moment to tease him about it. Ray doesn’t know of course, but I’m sure he’ll find out one day.

I’m bisexual and I’m open about it! I don’t see why Bob can’t be. I told Frank he was sexy last year. Sounds kind of pedophile- ish for me to be saying that to someone many years younger than me, but it was true! He just has a great ass!

“So how’s it goin’, sicky? Need anything?” Frank asked. Foley just sat there in the background. Why the hell is he here again?

“Yeah, I need for you to stop callin’ me sicky.” I answered.

“Sorry, sorry… Sicky. Oh come on! I like it! Sounds cool.” He replied.

“Err. Whatever. Hey, Frank? Am I ugly? I’m not a sucky person, at least I don’t believe I am.” I asked.

“Oh, you are very ugly and are the suckiest person I know! Where did you come from?!” Mikey said, out of nowhere. Of course! He just has to come in on this type of question and answer it.

“Thanks a lot, Mikes. That helped so much.” I said in a lower tone than I usually spoke.

“Hey, I was just kidding! Don’t be so sensitive. You’re a nice person and you’re not ugly!” Mikey said trying to make a save.

“Sure…” I responded.

“Oh stop it. Gerard, you are a very sexy person who is pretty frikn’ awesome to be with. You’re fun, caring, and you’re kinda father-like watching all of our backs all the time.” Frank said.

“Thanks! Now, that’s the kind of response I want to hear! Why can’t you be my brother?” I asked playfully.

“Thanks, bro.” Mikey said disheartened.

“No problem! Now, I just wanna know. Why won’t Miley even have a decent conversation with me?!” I asked.

“Well, everytime you open your mouth around her, it’s a pick up line or something harassing or saying you just want to get with her,” Foley said unexpectedly.

“Hmm… Doesn’t she like that? It should make her feel wanted!” I said.

“Uhh… It’s makes them feel like that’s all they’re worth. So no, that doesn’t work. And I heard her family all hates you now, anyways.” Foley responded.

“Yeah, so what’s the use anymore? Give up the bet already! It’s stupid! I thought it was just an easy way to get money. I didn’t think you were actually gonna do it.” Frank stated.

“Whatever. So, can one of you guys take me to Miley’s house? It’s that rich place, you know?” I asked.

“…Again with her! Can you forget about it?!” Frank said.

“It’s only ‘cause I want to say sorry about everything! Nothing else!” I quickly said.

“Alright, alright. Foley, drive us! My car is out of gas.” Frank said.

“Yay! Social Interaction! I’m so happy. Thank you guys for-…” Foley said, but was cut off.
“Can we just go please?” I asked.

“Ooh! Can I come?! I’ll be good! I promise. Please please please please!” Mikey begged.

“Kay, just behave. I don’t need to deal with extra shit. So um, can someone help me walk? I’m kinda bruised and it hurts.” I asked.

“Oh yeah, sure sure.” Frank said. He ran over to me and pulled me up quickly.

We all piled into the car, Frank and I in the back and Foley and Mikey in the front of the car. The car was filled with light conversations and the scent of cherries coming from the car air refresher.

“Hey, did anyone notice that Bob got all red faced when Gerard implied that Ray and him were leaving to have sex?” Frank asked.

“Hahaha, oh my God. Did he really? That’s hilarious.” Mikey said.

“Isn’t it so obvious?! I mean it’s not that big of a deal.” I stated.

“I know! Gerard, I think you are sexy and I’d do you!” Frank said.

“Seriously?! Well, let’s go! Come on, sexy!” I yelled, which seemed to arouse Frank.

Soon after I said this, he slammed on top of me and didn’t hesitate to move his hands anywhere. I began to do the same movements, like we were mirroring each other. A few screams here and a few moans there caused Mikey to twitch in every way imaginable. Frank shoved his hands down my pants which caused me to scream, “Fuck! Woooo!”

“Oh my God! Stop that! What the hell?! There will be no fucking in this car! Do this somewhere else and don’t let me know! Have you no humility?!” Mikey screamed with disgust, almost jumping from the front seat onto the back.

“Oh, we have a jealous one now, don’t we?” I teased.

At this, he glared at me, red-faced, and turned away. Frank and I just smiled at each other, surely we were not going to pass up a chance to do this again.

“Here we are. The Cyrus Household.” Foley stated.

“Thanks, Foley. You know, we should hang out sometime, you’re not so bad. I don’t know why we never talk or anything.” I said.

“Your welcome and sure, I’d love to. You guys all seem like pretty exciting people! Look what I can tell my mommy when I go home!” he said excitedly.

“Yeah, okay. Just wait here for me, okay?” I said.

“Certainly,” he assured me.

As I limped up to the intimidating mansion which contained the Cyrus family, I thought of what to say. What should I say? “Hey, I’m sorry for what happened. Peace?!”
No, no. That sounds stupid. “Hi, remember me? I’m that boy that harassed your daughter. I’m sorry for what happened.”

Nah, they’ll all want to sock me in the face for reminding them what I did.
I rang the doorbell and my heart raced faster. What if I’m being stupid. I shouldn’t come back! Why would they even allow me to walk on their doorstep?!

I turned around to walk back to the car, but a guy opened the door that seemed to have a slight semblance of Miley and asked, “Can I help you?”

“Oh, yeah. Hi. I’m Gerard. I was acting kind of inappropriate towards one of your family member, Miley. I’m sorry for all that happened. Do you mind if I talk to her?” I asked. I’m surprised I wasn’t kicked or punched for walking up to this house.

I didn’t get a response from the guy who was just standing there staring at me, mouth on the floor with drool almost overflowing out. Looks like a fuckin’ donkey. Jesus, close your mouth at least and put in a tic tac. Okay, I guess he doesn’t want to talk to me. I turned to leave, but then the guy looked like he snapped back into reality and said, “Hi! I’m Trace! Miley’s sis-, no I mean brother!” He smacked his forehead for making that slight mistake. Seriously, how can you make that mistake though?

He put his hand out for me to shake and I did so. “Hi, I’m Gerard. Can I apologize to your sister?”

“Yeah, yeah, come in!” he responded while eyes glued to me as I entered into their living room.

“Thank you…” I said a little creeped out. He motioned upstairs which I thought meant is the place that Miley was at the moment. As I walked upstairs, I could swear Trace was checking me out. Hands in his pockets, smile on his face, and his eyes scanning me. Ew.

I walked upstairs and it was very easy to find Miley, since I could hear that irritating, nasal voice singing from the room furthest from the staircase.

Hahaha, I could sing better. I recognized the lyrics to the song. I Could Get Used To This by The Veronicas.

“You wrote my name across your hand, when I freak you understand! There is not a thing you miss, and I could get used to this!” I sang along while opening the door to Miley’s room.
When the door opened, the greatest look of surprise was on her face. It was priceless. I started to laugh, but it was muffled by the sounds of Miley’s yelling. I stopped, startled. Such loud noise, from such an anorexic person.

“What the fuck are you doing here?! Everywhere I go, you’re there! No matter what I do, you’re like a fuckin’ boomerang! You always come back! I go to another state, you follow! Now, I can’t even stay in my room, in my house without you barging in?! What the fuck is that?! Get out!” she screamed.

I stuttered, trying to think of words to say. “I just came to say sorry for all that I’ve done! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make you feel disturbed by me or anything, and I didn’t want any trouble. I probably gone too far, didn’t I?”

“You think?! Now leave me alone! I don’t want to see your face! Get out!” she screamed.
What a bitch. I came to apologize and she gives me this bullcrap. I don’t see how she has friends or a boyfriend. She was so loud, my ears hurt like crazy and I think I need to get my hearing checked now. God.

Ooh, she looks like she has cry eyes. I wonder…

“Hey, were you crying before? If I came at a bad time, I can come again some other day.”

“No! I don’t want you here! Go someplace else! Or go back to that crack house you came from! If you’re going to come here, at least don’t look like shit! Ugh!”

This pretty much ticked me off. You don’t talk to people like this. What the fuck?! “Hey! You don’t talk to people like this! I look like shit because your father just pretty much almost killed me and I’m still bruised and hurt. I didn’t let that get in the way of coming over and trying to apologize. And I just asked if you were crying to see if maybe I could help a bit! Since you don’t want it, alright I’ll go now. Bye.” I yelled.

There was an awkward silence. I kinda didn’t want to go until I finished what I wanted to do here.

“Alright. Okay, I’m sorry. That was pretty rude and I should’ve said that. Sorry?” she apologized.

“Good. I just want to say, you can talk to me if you want you know. I’m not some disgusting creature that crawled out of the sewer to eat you.”

“Haha, okay. Sorry, I can be rude sometimes. Well, I was crying before. I was just upset that my ex-boyfriend was talking crap about me. Saying I’m a whore, a bitch, good-for-nothing. It’s like he kinda left me for no reason! I don’t get it.”

“Ahh. I’m sorry. I always thought he was an asshole! I mean what the fuck kind of name is Kane anyways?! It sounds like an asshole too!” I replied.

“Haha, he’s not one. He’s awesome, except for that last thing he did. I don’t get it.”

“I know what you mean. Things happen. That means, he’s not the dude for you. He sucks. He’s a motherfucker. He’s an asshole. He’s a dipshit. He’s a-…”

“Yeah, I get it. Hehe, so that was you singing before? You’re not so bad.”

“Thank you. Don’t need to tell me twice. I sung like a fuckin’ angel!” I exclaimed.

“I guess so. So I’d like to know. Why’s the reason you were basically stalking me these past weeks?”

Uhh… Oh shit. Stumped. What do I say now?! I can’t tell her about the dare! That means I can’t complete it! “You mesmerize me. Wanna go on a date?!”

“…Uhh… No! Are you crazy?! Slow down! I just began to not hate you!”

“Woo! So there’s hope for me?!”

“…No!” she replied with disgust in her voice.

“Why not?! I’m a decent guy! I’m cool! I’m not ugly!” I said.

“I can’t see myself dating you, honestly. Look at you! For one, you’re two years older. You’re also not my type.”

“Alright, alright. I can wait!”

“But I just said-…”

“Bye!” I screamed and leaving before she could finish what she wanted to say.
I raced down the stairs and yelped when I saw two pairs of eyes belonging to Trace, staring at me. “That is fuckin’ creepy! Stop that!” I screamed.

“Hehehe, where are you going?” he asked.

“I’m leaving to go home... You care why?”

“No! Don’t leave! Stay for dinner! I’ll ask my dad! Dad!”

Oh hell no! I do not want to see that man anytime soon.

“Wait! Don’t leave! Come back!”

I was halfway across the pathway to get into Foley’s car and then Trace started to chase me down. It’s not hard trying to chase a crippled person.

“Come on! Just for dinner! I have money!”

“Stop it! Let go if me!” I yelled.

He was tugging at my shirt pleading not to go.

“You sing like an angel! You are an angel! Be my guardian angel!” he said with much passion.

“What the fuck?! Go hit your head with that champagne bottle again!” I said.

I got into the car, with the help of Frank and the car jetted out of sight from the Cyrus Household.

“ELL EMM EFF AYY OHH! ELL EMM EFF AYY OHH! ELL EMM EFF AYY OHH! ELL EMM EFF AYY OHH! ELL EMM EFF AYY OHH!” was what blurted out of Mikey’s mouth. He had a hard time breathing while saying it.

Frank was laughing so hard he looked like he was about to die and his face turned blue from lack of oxygen.

Foley couldn’t even keep his eyes on the road.

“Alright! It isn’t that funny! If you were chased by him and stared down by those creepy eyes, you’d be horrified!” I said.

“Hahaha! Oh, Gerard. You sing like an angel!” Frank said while dragging out the last syllables of the word.

“ELL EMM EFF AYY OHH! Oh, Gerard!. Please be mine!” Mikey teased.

“You kids are disgusting. I am absolutely disgusted by you. I’m not even going to talk to you for the rest of the night. Hmph.”

Still, they continued laughing.

“Did you see how he looked at you when you answered the door?! Hahaha! Is that why you were taking so long?” Foley teased.

“Shutup! Forget what I said about making plans to hangout. No wonder you don’t have friends!”

“Hey! That was mean.” Foley said in a sad tone.

Rule #7: Apologize and make amends if you've done wrong, but don't make the wrong move!

Yay! Another chapter! It's movin' along now! Hopefully, we'll see some action in the next chapter. ;D

Rate and review, loves! As usual. :)
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