FicWad

Disclaimer: Don't own the characters, don't own the basic plot and quotes you recognise from Californication.

WARNINGS: This story is based on the television series "Californication", if you didn't like it or were offended by it, please do not read. I have changed a lot of the plot to suit my own wicked ways but it still includes a lot of swearing, alcohol and drug use, sex in every shape and form and some volgarity. Please do not read if this offends.

Chapter Eleven - You're hands were all up in my pants! (Part Two)

Frank woke up with a new sense of purpose the next morning. He had Gerard right where he wanted him.

Last night he had taken a step forward, a very important step forward, they both had. It was important that he kept it that way. No more stepping back, he was going to do everything right this time around. It was already obvious that Gerard was slowly being reeled back in.

Part of him felt slightly bad for that, he was dragging Gerard away from something that made him happy; a family. But, the other part of Frank just screamed too fucking loudly and it just couldn't be ignored. Fuck it all, he wanted Gerard and he deserved to have him back.

"Morning Frank," Gerard announced as he walked into the lounge room stretching.

Frank had been so locked in his own thoughts that he didn't even hear the other man enter. Now he was caught, perched on the edge of his lounge in nothing but his boxer shorts with his guitar resting in his lap.

All he could do was smile at the site of Gerard, disorientated by sleep and with the best bed hair Frank had ever seen. It was at that moment though, as Gerard no doubt began to wake up and take in his surroundings, that his facial expression changed to that of surprise.

"Shit ... Frank ... are you actually playing again?" he asked, teasing slightly but genuinely sounding quite shocked. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You didn't ask," Frank said with a dismissive shrug. "I'll put a shirt on shall I."

If he was going to be completely honest, he half expected Gerard to protest and beg him to leave the shirt off. After all, Gerard's artistic mind couldn't help but make his eyes always wonder over Frank's body canvas; taking in all the colours, all the symbols, all the masterpieces. Still, once again, he liked the hard to get game. If Gerard wanted to look, he could remove the shirt later - it was better that way.

"Sleep well?" Gerard asked, if anything just to break the silence that had passed between them now that Frank had put the guitar aside and was searching through a pile of clothes on his lounge. Finally he pulled out a black shirt and pulled it on.

"Better then you could possibly imagine ... yourself?"

Frank was in a good mood, that much was obvious, and he was carefully trying to make sure that in every one of his words was a dash of mystery. Gerard couldn't help himself; he would want to know why Frank's sleep was as good as he insisted it was, but the question never left Gerard's lips for he was far too fixated on the shirt that Frank had just put on.

"Oh very funny Frank," Gerard said, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms over his chest protectively. There was however the whisper of a smile threatening to clearly wipe that pout away.

"What?" Frank asked, immediately jumping into defensive mode. It was just a shirt. What the fuck had he done now?

"Are you seriously going to try that hard to impress me?" Gerard continued, raising an eyebrow as he cocked out his hip.

It was all attitude and if Frank hadn't of been so concerned with what the fuck was going on, he probably would have shoved Gerard back up against the wall of his lounge room and fucked him right there.

As it just so happened, he didn't. Instead, he merely looked down at the offending shirt and immediately realised what it was that Gerard was referring to. In his haste he had picked up an old shirt from the days of attending Comic Cons with Gerard for his 'Umbrella Academy' series. The apparent plain black shirt actually had the white umbrella logo associated with the comic book series printed on the front.

Immediately Frank giggled. He couldn't believe that out of all the shirts he had, he had to pick up that one. He didn't bother explaining himself; it was a good choice, even if it had been by accident. Finally Gerard's smile couldn't help but break through the frown and he just shook his head as he tried to hide it, still trying desperately to act unimpressed.

Yet, Frank was winning, he knew he was. This Gerard before him, was falling all over again. He almost felt bad ... almost.

"So ... pancakes for breakfast then?" Frank quickly threw in, before the moment passed and Gerard would make his usual hasty escape.

"Er - look Frank, we should really probably be -"

But Gerard never got to finish announcing his departure for at the word "pancakes" a small dark haired boy immediately came rushing into the room, bouncing around excitedly and drowning out his father’s words.

"Pancakes? Chocolate-chip pancakes?" Jack squealed, ignoring Gerard's attempts to calm him down.

"Is there any other kind?" Frank cut in, feeding off Jack's enthusiasm.

Gerard still tried to jump in with some excuse or other, but neither Frank nor Jack were listening. Instead they merely turned their back on him and headed into the kitchen to start cooking. Finally Gerard just seemed to give up as he let out a heavy sigh and un-crossed his arms.

"What's the point, no one’s listening to me anyway," Gerard seemed to say to himself more then anyone else. It was clear he had given up trying to fight. "I'm using the bathroom ... if anyone cares."

With that, Frank and Jack continued to ignore him, if anything just to continue the game, until Gerard left the room. Frank could see the small smile still playing across his lips as he excited the room and it made his heart flutter. It was a good day.

"Let's put in the whole bag of chocolate chips!" Jack announced, waving the huge bag of chocolate, which was clearly way too much for the small batch of pancake mix they had, around excitedly.

"Er - not the whole thing Jack ... I'm trying to watch my figure," Frank quickly shot in, wrestling the bag from Jack's small hands so as to avoid a nasty spill he could almost see coming.

"Frankie it's your phone!" Jack shouted, quickly letting go of both the pancake mix and the bag of chocolate chips as he bounded off to grab the ringing object.

"Woah, easy, one thing at a time," Frank instructed as he quickly grabbed the discarded objects before they tipped off the bench and went crashing to the floor.

He often cursed himself for the amount of energy that Jack had. Frank only had himself to blame after all. When he and Gerard had first started going out, Frank had been so excited to have a little person around that every day had been full of hyperactivity and excitement. Now Jack was just the same only he didn't quite have the grace that Frank had adopted over the many more years of life that he had over Jack. It was hard work watching him.

"Here Frankie, quick, before they hang up!" Jack said, running back towards Frank with the phone in his sticky hands.

Frank quickly took it, cringing slightly when he felt the mass amounts of pancake mix that Jack's hands had left on in. When he saw the words 'Private Number' flashing across the screen, he seriously thought about not picking it up at all. It couldn't be good news.

Still, curiosity got the best of him and he stepped out of the kitchen and answered the phone, away from the ever curious ears of a six year old.

"Hello?"

"Frank! Shit ... Frank, you have to come get me!"

Immediately Frank wanted to throw the phone against the wall and scream and curse at his stupidity. It was Jess ... once again out to ruin his fucking good day.

"You seriously just won’t give up will you. What the fuck is wrong this time?" he asked, deciding to give her the benefit of the doubt for now. She did sound slightly more frantic then last time, but it was an act, it was always a fucking act.

"Please Frank ... I'm so sorry, but I seriously need you to come get me again. I don't feel right ... I'm seriously in trouble this time," she whined. Just like last time when she didn't need his fucking help at all.

"Fuck Jess! How stupid do you think I am? You said the same thing the other night and you almost ruined everything, you're not going to ruin this day for me to. After all, whatever mess you're in, you put yourself in it so you can get yourself out!"

She began to protest, she began to fight his words but Frank had had enough. Without a moments hesitation he hung up the phone and switched it off. There was no way he was falling for that shit again. After all, Jess wasn't his responsibility, if she had a problem she could call Lindsey - it wasn't his fucking kid.

"Something wrong?" a voice asked that made Frank spin around so fast he almost lost his balance.

Gerard was standing there staring at him curiously, but he still seemed in high spirits, it was clear he hadn't really heard any of the phone conversation; he merely seemed to wonder why Frank wasn't still bouncing off the walls about chocolate pancakes with Jack.

"Nope, everything is fine Gee, just fine," Frank announced, letting out a dismissive breath of air as he shoved his phone in his pocket and immediately forgot all about the call.

"Right ... well, just remember Frank, this is a short visit. I'm only staying because Jack's all excited, then we seriously have to go," Gerard said, as though feeling he had to remind Frank that they still couldn't technically do this sort of stuff anymore.

Frank just continued to stare at Gerard not really taking in anything he had just said. For some reason he still seemed extremely captivated by him this morning as though something had fucking turned his hormones on over-drive just while he slept that night.

"Kiss me Gee," Frank instructed, quickly moving himself to block Gerard's exist as he turned to head back into the kitchen.

"What? Come on Frank, I'm marrying Lindsey, you know that. The kiss the other night ... it meant nothing," he said firmly, taking a step away from Frank as his move to block the entry to the kitchen had caused the distance between them to shorten dramatically.

"Sure Gee, whatever helps you sleep at night man." Frank didn't budge from his position as he continued to stare at Gerard suggestively.

"It's true Frank! It meant nothing!" Gerard insisted, immediately getting quite defensive as he realised that once again Frank was in one of those moods where he would try his fucking hardest to get what he wanted.

"Well, if it's true, then kiss me again," Frank pushed, moving away from the door and stepping further into Gerard's personal space.

"What? Why? How does that work?"

"Because if you can kiss me now, short and simple, then it will prove there is nothing more between us and that we've moved on," Frank explained simply, shrugging his shoulders.

Gerard just ran a hand through his hair and let out a heavy sigh. Frank was standing so close now that he could feel his breath gently brush his check, he couldn't stand much more of this proximity if something didn't fucking happen soon.

"Sorry Frank, but you know we can't. We're beyond being able to fool around like that now. We had our chance, it didn't work out. I'm not going to kiss you," Gerard said, that grown-up tone back in his voice. He was talking sense, begging Frank to see it to, but Frank didn't know what that was anymore.

"See!" Frank said, throwing his arms up in triumph and making Gerard jump slightly in surprise. "If you're hesitating to kiss me now then it's because you know it will mean something if we do. Otherwise, why would you have kissed me so openly the other night? You get where my head's at Gee ... basically, that fiery kiss you locked me in so passionately the other day - it fucking meant something."

"What? No, no, no Frank, you've got it all wrong," Gerard started to say, but Frank simply turned away with a smile and headed back into the kitchen. He took extra special care to swing his hips in an over-exaggerated fashion as he walked away, if anything just to continue to tease that little bit more.

It was clear Gerard wanted to say something else, needed to say more to climb out of that hole he had just buried himself in, but there was no way he could say anything in front of Jack, hence why Frank retreated to the area the boy was in. He had the last words and he intended to keep it that way.

"How's the cooking going Jacky?" Frank asked, grabbing Jack and pulling him into an extremely tight hug. The restless boy tried to wriggle free, unsure why exactly he was being given a hug when they weren't greeting each other.

"Why are you so happy Frankie?" Jack questioned, his face full of suspicion as Frank let him go to inspect the pancake mix.

Frank just turned around and gave the pouting Gerard a sly smile before he looked down at Jack and ruffled up his hair.

"Because I'm winning Jack!" he announced happily.

"Winning what?" Jack asked, looking extremely puzzled.

"Nothing ... I’m starving, lets start cooking these bad boys." With that, Frank turned his face away from the still frowning Gerard and was just getting ready to put the first pancake on the fry pan when the phone started ringing.

It wasn't his, he had turned his off, this time it was Gerard’s.

Clearly eager to get away for a few moments to collect himself, Gerard excused himself and went back into the hallway to take his phone call. Apparent he too didn't want anyone to eaves drop.

Not long into the conversation, Frank heard a startled cry of "What? How? When? ... Where is she?"

Immediately Jack looked up at Frank, a confused and extremely worried look on his face. At first Frank thought that something had happened to Lindsey, but then he remembered the conversation he had just had prier to switching his phone off. Somehow he knew that the topic of conversation for Gerard was ... Jess.

"What happened?" Frank asked, the moment Gerard resurfaced in the room, looking extremely put-out and frantic.

"Shit ... Frank, I'm sorry, but I really have to go," he said, looking at his worried son as though he had no idea what to do with him.

"Woah, woah, woah! Slow down Gee, take a deep breath and tell me what the fuck happened," Frank said, grabbing Gerard's shoulders to snap him back into some sort of stable frame of mind.

"It's Jess. I don't know exactly what yet ... but she's in some sort of trouble. I don't know ... that was her teacher, she's at his fucking house! Say's she's all out of it and - fuck ... I've got to go get her!"

With that Gerard reached out a shaky hand and called Jack's name, clearly eager to go and get Jess. Frank instantly felt bad, he had no idea if Jess was playing around or not but he was sure that if her teacher was calling Gerard instead of him then it was pretty fucking serious. What the hell had that girl gotten herself into now?

Frank hated that he had dismissed her and turned off his phone. Now seeing how stressed Gerard was, he knew he should have perhaps taken more time to listen to what was wrong with her. After all, she was practically Lindsey's fucking daughter! Which meant that whilst she was away, Jess was Gerard’s responsibility. How the fuck would Gerard feel if something happened to her whilst she was in his care? Frank should have fucking cared more about her well-being. If anything for Gerard's sake. He was supposed to be helping Gerard, some fucking help he was.

"Wait up Gee, I'm coming with you!" Frank quickly announced, grabbing his house keys and chasing after the departing Gerard and Jack.

"What? No Frank, I can't ask you to come too, its okay, I'll be right. I'll call you when I get her," Gerard said, his voice still extremely scattered.

"I didn't ask Gee. I'm coming with you and that's that. This guy is a fucking creep, you have no idea what he's capable of, he could be all messed up on coke when you get there. Safety in numbers and all that shit ... I'll drive."

Gerard didn't protest any further, he seemed so distracted by the thought of something bad happening that there was no fight left in him. It was routine alone that had Gerard helping Jack into the car and making sure his seat belt was on before climbing into the passenger seat himself.

Frank felt awful, he wished he could just explain to Gerard that Jess would be fine, that she pulled this sort of shit all the time. But he knew that there was no way he could explain how much of a badass Jess was without incriminating himself.

"Maybe we should have left Jack behind," Gerard said, finally breaking the silence as Frank sped through a red-light. It wasn't really because he was in any particular hurry; it was more or less the fact that he just hated fucking stopping.

"Why?" Frank asked, more concentrated on driving then what he was sure was going to be some more self doubt on Gerard's behalf.

"Well, if this guys as creepy and messed up as you say he is then it's probably not the best idea that he's here," Gerard whispered so that Jack couldn't hear.

"Don't worry; we'll lock him in the car or something. We can do that right? It's not illegal is it? It's not a hot day or anything and we won’t be gone all that long," Frank rattled on, quite surprised that Gerard's nervousness was actually catching on.

What if something bad seriously had happened to Jess and he had just ignored her pleas for help? He knew that it would take a while to live this one down, he just prayed to whoever would listen that the kid was alright.

"How do you know this guy does coke?" Gerard suddenly asked and Frank actually found himself sweating slightly at this question.

This was bad ... all of it. Somehow he knew the whole Jess thing would come back to bite him on the ass, he just didn't think it would be this soon. He needed to use Gerard's paranoia to his full advantage. He would be too distracted by what he was going to find when they finally reached the teacher's apartment; it was a good time to start wriggling his way out of it.

"He told me about it when we had that school thing. Guess he just figured I did it to or something, just started talking to me about it."

Frank hated lying, mainly because he knew Gerard could see right through it. And, he fucking would, Frank knew he would. Maybe not now that he was so stressed and panicky, but certainly later when he was thinking more clearly.

Finally, they arrived out the front of Jess' teachers building - good old coked up Mr. Ted Thomas, he was beginning to become more like an acquaintance lately, this was the second time Frank found himself at his house. Worst of all, Frank had barely asked for any directions to get to the place, he could tell Gerard was just grateful that they got there so fast, but Frank was already bracing himself for the unraveling of the web of lies he knew was going to come later.

As suggested, Jack was safely locked in the car as they ran up to sleazy Ted's apartment. Frank barely even noticed that he had been holding his breath, in anticipation of what lie ahead, until Gerard knocked heavily on the door snapping him from his thoughts and causing him to inhale again.

When the door sprang open both Frank and Gerard jumped in surprise as they had both been so locked in their own individual thoughts of doom and gloom. Ted was in all his glory, completely spaced out on coke and standing in a dirty singlet top and a pair of boxer shorts.

"It's about fucking time you got here. Get this fucking jail-bait out of my house!" Ted announced in a voice that told Frank he had clearly had enough.

Something in Frank's head seemed to click and suddenly he seemed to have a good grasp on just what the hell had happened before Ted even had the chance to explain. After all, he knew Jess well and he would bet his entire life savings that Jess had gone over to her teacher’s house of her own free will.

Of course, Gerard wouldn't see it that way and one look at the man next to him told Frank that he was right. Gerard looked like he meant business as he followed Ted further into his house and spotted Jess passed out on the lounge.

"What the fuck did you do to her?" Gerard shouted out as he ran to her side and attempted to shake her awake.

"Me? I didn't fucking do anything!" Ted immediately started to say as he spoke more to Frank then Gerard as though knowing that he would be more understanding. "She just came around here knocking on my fucking door and asking for alcohol and pills."

"And you gave it to her?" Frank stepped in as Gerard was more interested in waking Jess then Ted's story.

"Yes I gave it to her. I'm not a fucking saint alright, I gave her a couple of beers, didn't realise she was popping my fucking Valiums as well though," Ted continued to shout out, clearly annoyed at having to explain himself at all.

"Valium? She took Valium?" Gerard said as he suddenly tuned into the conversation. He was now helping the wobbly and slightly unresponsive Jess to sit up. Frank just thanked god that she was awake, that was something.

"Yes she did ... and I don't know how many. She just fucking helps herself to everything!" Ted cried out in frustration.

Frank didn't want to take Ted's side, after all, the guy was the worst kind of pervert, but he couldn't pure and simple hate him like Gerard did. He understood because he to had been stupid enough to fall victim to Jess' charm. For the most part Jess looked untouched; at least Ted hadn't made a move on her when she was this out of it.

Naturally though, this only made Frank feel worse. Ted was a fucking disgusting, drug addicted perve and yet even though Jess practically threw herself at him it was unclear whether he had taken advantage of that yet. Frank took advantage of it. He was a bad fucking person.

"Help me get her up," Gerard's voice said, breaking through Frank's thoughts. Immediately he pushed past the still ranting Ted and bent down to help.

Jess looked slightly more alert now, she was awake and she was smiling ... well, she was smiling at Frank anyway.

"Frank ... you came," she said cheerfully, reaching out a hand to pat the side of Frank's face. He knew it was probably meant to be a very tender stroke but she was so out of it that her hand merely slapped against his cheek roughly until he was forced to grab her wrist and pull her away.

Gerard just sat there shaking his head as he stared up at Ted in shock and disbelief.

"This is somebody’s fucking child you ass-hole!" Gerard shouted, looking as though he was ready to fight the much, much, much larger man for what he had done.

Ted merely looked down at Gerard with nothing but anger painted across his greasy face.

"And that somebody clearly needs to keep her on a tighter fucking leash! She came around here, I never asked her to!" Ted yelled back at Gerard, Frank just ignored them as he helped Jess to her feet.

Instantly Gerard was standing, pulling one of Jess' arms around his shoulder as Frank stepped up to Ted. He didn't really understand why, but he pulled back a fist and swung forward, his knuckles instantly connecting with Ted's face.

"What the fuck was that for Iero? You don't honestly think I would be stupid enough to have her here again!" Ted shouted, clutching at his face.

Frank was half tempted to hit him again, but he stopped himself. After all, Ted hadn't really done anything wrong, Frank was just angry because somewhere deep inside he knew he was going to get caught out. Gerard was going to figure it all out and he was going to treat Frank with the same disgust that he had for this man.

The two of them remained silent as they carried the still giggling Jess down to the car, their actions were only stopped when Jess dug her feet into the ground and brought them all to a sudden stop as she threw up on the floor in front of her.

"Well, hopefully that's all the pills," Frank said, desperately trying to lighten the mood despite the fact that nothing about this situation was particularly funny.

Gerard gave him a very nasty look which immediately sent a chill through Frank's entire body. This wasn't right ... Gerard knew!

When they finally reached Frank's car, Jack was already bouncing around impatiently. As soon as the door was flung open and Gerard and Frank helped Jess into her seat, the small boy was all over them.

"What happened? Is she okay? Why is she sick? What's wrong with her?" These questions were followed by many more, not one of them was answered.

"Jack just sit down, put your seat belt on and shut up!" Gerard instructed, frightening not just Jack but Frank to. It was clear he was in a fowl mood.

Sensing it was best to take everybody home; Frank started the car and began the drive to Gerard's house. At first everyone was silent, even Jess had apparently found the situation not so funny anymore, either that or she had passed out again. The strangest thing was, it was still fucking daylight. It felt like Frank had just lived an entire life time in the past hour, hard to believe he had only gotten out of bed a little while ago.

"So ... there anything you want to tell me Frank?" Gerard asked, finally turning on Frank.

He swallowed hard. He knew it was coming and yet he still wasn't prepared. But, Gerard didn't really know anything; he could still lie his way out of this.

"What the hell did I do?" he shot back, immediately defending himself. He didn't want to do this now.

"What did Jess mean when she said you came? Why was she expecting you here Frank? Did she tell you she was in trouble? Did she call you?" Gerard pushed, already growing impatient at Frank's naivety.

"I don't know Gee, she's fucking drugged up ... how am I supposed to know what she's talking about?" Frank decided the best way to play this out was to play dumb. There was nothing else he could do ... he was trapped.

"Don't fucking lie to me Frank, she knew you were coming. Did she call you before she called me? Why would she call you?" Gerard continued to push. It was clear he needed time to cool off, but for now Frank had nothing to shield him from the bullets he was going to get shot at him.

"She didn't call me Gee ... I already told you, I don't know. Don't take this out on me!"

Frank hated lying and he hated that Gerard knew, but if he had of been able to come up with an alternative means to defend himself then he would have. As it just so happened, denial was the only way.

"The teacher Frank, the fucking teacher," Gerard shouted, fidgeting in his seat as though he needed just to get out of the car and vent his anger elsewhere. "He asked you if you actually thought he would be stupid enough to have her around again. Again! Again? What does that mean Frank? Has this happened before? Where you there?"

"Gerard ... can we do this later," Frank finally settled on saying. After all, this really wasn't the time or place, perhaps he could explain it ... just not now.

"No we can't fucking do this later! Explain it to me Frank; I have a fucking drunken and drugged sixteen year old in the back! What am I going to tell Lindsey?"

"SHUT UP!" a small, yet powerful voice interrupted what was going to be the beginning of Frank loosing his temper.

Frank and Gerard both spun around in surprise, what they found was Jack sitting forward in his seat, tears rolling down his eyes as he glared at them both with a great amount of hatred in his young face.

"Just shut up and stop fighting!" Jack continued to shout as he let out one little sob before continuing to glare at them as though they were disobedient children.

Gerard didn't scold him for yelling or speaking to two adults like that, probably because he knew that what the young boy was saying was quite deserved. Frank didn't need telling twice, truth was, he had been waiting for the outburst to happen the moment they had started arguing.

The rest of the journey was spent in silence, broken only by Jack's small sobs and Jess' pained moans as a hang-over no doubt started to sink in. When Frank pulled up out the front of Gerard's house, Jack was the first to jump out of the car and storm off to the front door. Frank and Gerard both managed to wrestle Jess out of the car and upstairs to the sanctuary of her bedroom.

Jack was already in his room, the door was closed and neither of them dared to go in and try to consolidate him. What could they say? Frank knew that he was at a loss. He had run out of things to say to the six year old. If they weren't careful, he was going to grow up with a big fucking chip on his shoulder.

When everything seemed to calm down and the silence became too much, Gerard finally opened his mouth to speak again. This time, he seemed to be far more collected.

"Look Frank -"

But, before he could even begin, he was interrupted by another phone call. Swearing loudly as he pulled out his phone, Frank was certain that Gerard wasn't going to answer it, but he pressed the green button and muttered a small greeting before his face crinkled into that same look of deep concern once again.

Frank couldn't believe it ... what the fuck could possible be wrong now?

"You're fucking kidding me! ... Not today, not now ... fuck, sorry it's just been a bad day ... what happened? Is he alright ... shit! ... How the fuck did that happen? ... What? ... Okay ... Call me back when you've got news ... You sure you don't need me there? ... Okay ... Alright ... See ya."

There was nothing Frank hated more then a heated conversation that he could only hear one side of. The second Gerard hung up the phone he was all over him.

"What's happened now?" he asked, unsure he really wanted to know the answer.

Gerard just looked pale and Frank was sure it wasn't his imagination playing tricks on him when he noticed how much his hands fucking shook.

"Mikey's in hospital," Gerard said as he made his way to his dinning room table and numbly sat down.

"What?" Frank cried out. "Is he alright? What happened? Do you need me to go down there?"

"No, it's alright Frank, Alicia's there. She said that it's a dislocated shoulder and that they're going to put him under and pop it back in. Couldn't say much else but she's going to call me back later," Gerard explained in a weary drone. It was clear that he had had enough for one day.

And who fucking wouldn't! This morning they had been on top of the world and now ... Frank cursed. He hated how his life just always found away to screw him over.

"Do I tell Lindsey?" Gerard suddenly asked, changing the whole feel of the conversation completely.

It was the last thing Frank expected to here, he was actually ready for another screaming match, but that wasn't how he and Gerard worked. It would come up again at a later date, when they got too close once again probably, but for now, Gerard needed him.

"About Mikey or Jess?" Frank questioned, if only to try and get a smile out of Gerard. It didn't work.

"You'd want to know if your sixteen year old step-daughter was hanging out with some pervert right?" Gerard continued as though there had been no interruption. "I mean, what was she doing there? Do I call the police about this guy?"

"Shit Gee, I really don't know. You're going to hate me for saying this but fuck it, you already hate me enough ... the situation may not be exactly as it seems you know?" He hated throwing this in the mix now, but Gerard already knew that Frank was more involved in this then he let up, what was the point in fighting it any further.

"I can't believe you're siding with that sick fuck," Gerard said, shaking his head, but clearly too warn out to fight any more.

"Come on Gee, I fucking punched him in the face! I'm not siding with anyone. It's just ... surely you've noticed she's different. I mean, she's a fucking trouble maker dude. Maybe you should talk to her about it first," Frank explained, eager to keep the conversation at this new level of calm.

Gerard just nodded his head once more and sighed heavily as he leant back against the chair. For a moment the light seemed to catch his face and he looked worn-out. Too fucking worn out to deal with all of this mess.

Frank understood, somehow he did. Once again, he could go home and sit down, have a few beers, play his guitar and forget all about the day. Gerard, he had to make sure Jess was alright and punish her accordingly. He also had Jack to deal with and the ever increasing amount of trauma that the poor little guy had to go through day in and day out. Now, on top of all that he had to decided whether he wanted to tell Lindsey about all of this when she should have fucking been there to begin with!

Oh, and now there's Mikey to worry about to!

Yup, Frank knew right then and there that he couldn't go home. His place was here, he needed to make sure Gerard stayed calm and stayed fucking sober. It was becoming quite apparent why he would run back to his old friend booze ... Fuck; Frank needed a drink after the first phone call from Jess that morning! Now after all this ... bottom line, he needed to stay.

"Maybe you should go lie down or something Gee ... today's been pretty messed, I'll take care of Jack," Frank offered, reaching out a hand to take Gerard’s.

It was a move merely to calm Gerard down, to show him that he wasn't alone, but Gerard saw the movement and pulled his hand out of reach.

"It's alright Frank ... I just want to be alone. Go home ... I'm fine," Gerard lied ... because Frank fucking knew it was a lie.

"No way man, I'm not leaving," Frank protested, crossing his arms and showing Gerard that he was quite serious.

"Frank ... I don't want to argue anymore. Just leave, you've done enough, I don't want you here."

Now Frank had been hell bent on staying put no matter what stunt Gerard tried to pull. But for some reason those words stung Frank more then anything else Gerard had said that day. Mainly because he fucking meant them. He didn't want Frank there, he was the cause of all these problems, he just wanted him to go away.

And Frank suddenly began to realise just why Gerard was better off without him. Jack was upset because they had argued. Why did they argue? Because Frank was a fucking moron, that was why! Then there was Jess, she was at the teachers place to prove a point! And Frank was sure it was to get his attention too, hence why she called him first, no doubt probably before she even took all those fucking pills.

"Alright Gee ... I'll get out of your way," Frank said, feeling slightly defeated. He didn't want to leave, but he needed to leave. It was all his fault, Gerard was better off without him.

Gerard didn't say anything else, he barely even acknowledged that he was leaving and Frank didn't blame him. How could he?

This was all his fucking fault!

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The moment Frank left, Gerard felt empty.

There was no way he wanted him to stay, he knew that he would just look for someone to blame and have another go at him. Gerard didn't want to fight Frank anymore, he was too tired for that, it was better that he sent him away.

But still, it didn't help that sense of unbearable loneliness from creeping up all around him.

The day had become an absolute mess right before his fucking eyes and he had no idea where to even begin mending everything. He couldn't, he was done trying, he was through trying to actually be a part of his life and try and do things for himself.

He remembered back to the day when he had first decided to stop drinking. It was an easy decision, he was unhealthy, he was unresponsive, he was a mess. There was a band that needed his help, there were stage performances to be organized, there were problems that needed fixing, he couldn't do any of that if he was constantly drunk.

Now though, what difference did it make? He had been sober for so long and he had actually been foolish enough to think that it was helping him stay on the tracks. But everything was becoming derailed no matter how hard he fucking tried to keep everything together. What difference did it make if he drank? He was failing everyone anyway; at least if he turned to alcohol again it would ease the pain of that realisation.

Still, every time he reached for a beer at night, every time he walked down to the bottle show to purchase a bottle of vodka, he thought about what he was doing and how fucking wrong it was. Too long had he given up, too much effort had he put into finally getting sober, why the hell was he throwing that all away?

It was out of pure desperation to not have to resort to drinking that led Gerard to have his mobile phone pressed tightly against his ear as he waited to hear Lindsey’s voice. After all, he was marrying her for a reason ... she would be able to help; she would be able to save him, if just for tonight.

"Gee? It's late ... is everything alright?" Lindsey’s sleepy voice said through the phone.

He had forgotten that she was overseas, probably in a country where it was indeed very early in the morning or very late at night. He had lost track of what day it was and whereabouts she would be, drinking did that to him.

"Lindz ... come home."

It was simple and straight to the point. He needed her, he needed someone, she was his wife, she was the one he was supposed to go to for help. Not Frank, he was done with that, he needed to focus on what he had, not on what he missed.

"What? Baby, what's wrong? Has something happened? Jack? Jess? Are they okay?" she asked, her voice slightly frantic as his words had succeeded in waking her up now.

"No ... yes ... shut, I dunno Lindz ... please, just come home. The kids are fine, but - well, I need you."

He didn't care if he sounded pathetic, he didn't care if he sounded like a whining child, he was asking for her help.

"Shit babe ... we're in the middle of tour. I can't just leave ... you know that. We're nearly finished, it'll take me a day or two just to get back anyway. Is it serious? I mean, really serious?" Lindsey's frantic tone was gone now, she merely sounded tired again. He was a grown man, she knew he could take care of himself.

"Maybe ... Lindz, I just dunno ... you'd know I'd never ask this of you but - shit, I think I really need you back here!"

"Alright Gee, just calm down ... what's wrong? Tell me what's the matter, we'll talk about it now," she instructed, sighing as though it was an effort to deal with him when he was like this.

Instantly he felt a sense of hopelessness rise up in him. This wasn't something they could talk about on the phone. She was supposed to understand, she was supposed to be there for him when he needed her!

He fought back the tears that threatened to fall. After all, he felt fucking defeated, what else was left for him to do? But, he was tired of crying ... he was a fucking grown up, it was time he dealt with his problems like all grown ups did. If no one would help, then he would deal with it on his own.

"It's alright Lindz, go back to sleep. I can wait ... I'll see you when you get back," he said, trying to sound slightly more lifted as he spoke.

"Are you sure? Gee, you can still talk to me over the phone, I'll listen." She was clearly slightly skeptical at his change in mood now, but it was obvious she still wasn't going to rush back to see him anytime soon.

"I'm sure Lindz, it's all good. Hope the rest of the tour goes alright."

She argued the point a little further but in the end it was clear she was glad for his sudden change of heart. They parted ways, slightly abrupt on Gerard's end, in good enough terms. The second the conversation ended Gerard wished he had of just talked to her over the phone. It felt strangely empty in the house now that the phone was away from his ear.

Without a moment’s hesitation, he got up and moved to the cupboard in the kitchen. Up the very top was the stash of liquor he had started up again only recently. As he reached for a bottle of vodka and twisted the lid off, he barely even blinked as he put it to his lips and drank until the spirits finally became too much and he needed to take a breath.

His throat still burning from the last swig, he barely even had time to swallow it all before he was taking another large mouthful.

It was frustration, it was defeat and it was fucking loneliness that made him do it again and again.

Frank was there for him. For the first time in a long fucking time Frank was there when he needed him and he fucking pushed him away.

At the time he had been so proud of himself because he was doing it for Lindsey, doing it for himself and the new life he was trying to create. But Lindsey didn't care! Sure, she had her own commitments too, he knew that, but if the rolls had been reversed, he would be home in a second.

Frank was there. For once he had been right there. But Gerard couldn't give him a second chance again, he just fucking couldn't. He would just fuck up everything he had tried so hard to create with Lindsey, only to have Frank get bored and leave him all the time again.

It was too much to think on and it was too much to deal with. His brother was in the hospital, his son was a mess, and Jess - whatever the fuck she was to him - was just another indication of how much of a failure he was.

Alcohol or no, he was still the same. He was drinking for himself now, because it was the only thing that helped, it was the only thing that made everything seem less shitty.

So that's what he did. He sat there and drank until the sky went black.

His phone rang and rang but he didn't answer it, he couldn't ... he couldn't find the fucking thing even though he knew it was in his pocket. Or was it?

Jess came downstairs, looking like hell, to grab a bottle of water. Gerard didn't even ask how she was or what she was doing at her teachers place. He couldn't find the right words and he really didn't care.

Jack walked up to him not long after and asked something about dinner, but Gerard merely got up from the table and stumbled past him. He walked away from his fucking hungry six year old son!

It was a vicious cycle drinking. You drink to feel better, but you love the feeling so much that you drink more and more until you're brain is so fucking soaked in the shit that it just lazily spills all your deepest darkest secrets. If not out loud then to you and you alone and sometimes that's even worse. That happiness turns into a deep depression and you then drink even more because you just want it to consume you completely.

Finally you seem to defeat it all and pass on to blissful blackness. That was the only way for Gerard that night. Everything was too much, he just needed to rest and he finally did.

The moment he took that last sip of Vodka that finally tipped him over the edge and sent his brain finally shutting down, he was at peace.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Gerard had only been asleep for mere minutes, he was sure of it. There was no way he could have rested well, he felt like he had just spent a weekend in hell suffering all kinds of horrible torture.

He hadn't felt this bad in a long time and even back all those years ago he couldn't remember feeling this fucking bad. Something was in his skull, trying to break out; it was the only explanation for the headache that he felt. He couldn't even open his eyes because everything was too fucking bright.

But it was okay, he would be just fine. He knew how to get through hang-overs, it was called sleep. Plenty of sleep, just close your eyes and drift away until your body just passes through the whole thing without your knowledge.

It was just unfortunate that he wasn't in his twenties anymore. He wasn't on the road with his band mates, free as a bird, no pressure in the world. Gerard was a father now, he had a house, he had a job, he had fucking responsibilities and that soon became apparent when he heard a voice assaulting his ears.

"DAD! WHERE ARE MY SHOES?" the voice shouted. It was frustrated and it was angry and Gerard recognised it.

Jack. His son. It was a week day, he wasn't on a fucking tour bus, he needed to get his kid off to school!

Moaning was the only form of communication he was capable of, but that didn't seem enough of a response for Jack. The moment Gerard found the strength to open his eyes; he saw a dark haired boy storm into the room, his shirt still unbuttoned as he climbed onto his bed.

"Daddy get up, I'm late for school!" Jack whined, shaking him roughly when he tried to close his eyes and drown him out.

There was no way he could do this, he couldn't move, his whole body was aching even though all he had done was sleep and if he moved his head he was sure it would simply explode. He felt fucking paralyzed.

"Jack ... get changed ... I'll be up soon," Gerard finally managed to say. Even speaking was too much effort; he was going to be sick.

"I am changed!" Jack protested, shaking Gerard again as his eyes had somehow closed all on their own. "Am I ordering my lunch today? You didn't make me a sandwich."

Gerard moaned one last time before deciding that he had to get up. He had responsibilities ... he had Jack! The kid had gone all night without any food and now he was going to go to school without shoes and without lunch all because his father was fucking useless!

"Gerard ... you awake? I need a ride to school," a second voice said. Gerard recognised this one to. It was Jess ... two fucking kids. He had to get two fucking kids off to school!

Once more he tried his best to attempt to sit up, but it was no good. His arms wouldn't respond, they didn't want to, they knew that if he so much as breathed too deaply his brain would simply leak out through his ear. He needed water, even though he knew there was no way he was going to be able to keep it down.

"Gerard? You okay?" Jess asked, this time she was much closer. He opened his eyes only to find Jess inspecting him closely, a knowing smile on her face.

"What's wrong with him?" Jack demanded to know, staring at Jess now instead of Gerard.

"I don't know ... I think he's drunk," Jess said, that smile on her face seeming to increase at this knowledge.

It was clear she found it quite amusing. After all, she had never seen him like this before, neither of them had. He was Gerard, he was clean and sober. He didn't drink, that was just who he was.

"Jess ... please help Jack get ready," Gerard instructed as he prepared himself for attempting to sit up one more time.

"You serious? But I'm late for school as it is and I have a test today ... I need a ride," she whined, looking at Jack as though he was a complete burden.

"I don't want her to get me ready for school daddy, why wont you get up?" Jack continued to complain, now looking quite frustrated at his current predicament.

"Fine, take care of yourself, little baby," Jess fought back, crossing her arms across her chest and storming out of the room.

Gerard just continued to moan into his pillow. What could he expect? It was a fucking typical sixteen year old to think it such a burden to help someone younger then them. Even though Jack and Jess were far from being real brother and sister, they certainly knew how to act like it.

"Daddy, I want you to help me get ready!" Jack said, still sitting on the bed. He was getting frustrated now, even angry that Gerard wouldn't get up.

"Jack ... fucking give me a sec!" Gerard finally shouted out. He had had enough, he was going to be sick ... Jack wasn't helping!

Instantly he realised his mistake, he shouldn't have sworn, but it was all just too much. Jack glared at Gerard and finally gave up on trying to button up his shirt as his bottom lip trembled and his eyes filled with that unmistakable hatred once more.

"No! You're my dad! You're supposed to help me! Get up!" Jack demanded, small tears running down his cheeks as he no doubt realised how rude he was being and how much trouble he would usually be in for speaking like that.

"Jack! Go with Jess and she'll help you find your shoes!" Gerard argued back, closing his eyes again as the headache reached its full potential and he couldn't take anymore.

"I've already found them!" Jack shouted, shaking Gerard again as he tried to get him to open his eyes again. "I can't tie them by myself!"

Gerard’s eyes shot open again and he moved around, if anything to show Jack he would be up soon. The small boy was waving his shoes around by the laces as though trying to prove a point. The tears were still in his eyes and the site itself made Gerard fucking hate himself. What was he doing?

But no matter how hard he tried to explain to himself that he was being too hard on the kid, his head would not stop pounding and his stomach was crawling up higher and higher ... he was fucking going to spew.

"Jack just go outside and Jess will put them on for you!" Gerard shouted, probably louder then he had originally intended, but he needed to get Jack out, he didn't want him to see him like this, at rock-fucking-bottom.

The tears continued down Jack's angry expression as he threw his shoes against the wall and leapt off the bed with such an impressive sense of grace and style that for a moment Gerard was hit with an image of the adult that Jack would one day become. An angry adult.

"Fuck you!" Jack cried out, as he crossed his arms over his heaving chest and stood there pouting.

Gerard would have yelled at him, he should have, he was six and he was swearing. But what sort of an example had he and Frank set? After all, hadn't they been using the same language in the car the night before?

Finally Gerard couldn't take it anymore, it was all too much. Somehow his body finally found the strength it needed and he was on his feet in seconds. Jack looked stunned and he cowered slightly as though expecting a smack or to be dragged off to bed at the use of his naughty word, but Gerard merely pushed him out of the way so he could make it to the toilet bowl just in time to throw up nearly everything he had in his stomach.

When he had thrown up no less then four times, he was blessed with a break at last. Unfortunately though, his surroundings started to come back to him and all he was aware of was the sound of Jack crying in the next room.

Somehow he found his feet and he managed to walk back into his bedroom to see Jack huddled against the wall on the floor, his face saturated with tears, his nose running, his eyes forcing themselves to close so that the image of his father throwing up in the toilet could be as limited as possible.

Gerard wanted to pick him up, wanted to hold him like the fucking baby he was and apologise for whatever the fuck it was that he was doing. Because he still had no idea! He was destroying his life and he was hurting the one person who would love him unconditionally no matter what the hell he did.

Yet, all Gerard could do was grab his crying son by the arm and lift him to his feet. The crying Jack tried to wrap his arms around his waist, tried to hug him and perhaps try and make it all better, but Gerard wriggled himself away from him, he didn't deserve his love.

"Get out," Gerard instructed, hating himself for doing it but feeling too sick to care. He couldn't let Jack stay and see him like this anymore.

"No!" Jack shouted, sobbing uncontrollably as he tried to make his legs go limb and fall to the ground so that Gerard was unable to drag him out.

Gerard was persistent but and he managed to get Jack just outside his bedroom door. The image of his son crying, sobbing and yelling at him was enough, he couldn't take it anymore. He sat Jack on the floor in the corridor and walked straight back into his room, slamming the door shut behind him. He just caught site of Jack trying to stand back up and run into the room in time, before he was greeted by the blissful loneliness of an empty room.

His head was still aching and his body was trembling so much it was a wonder he was able to defeat the determined Jack at all. His breathing was terribly erratic and he knew he was going to spend all morning in the fucking toilet.

So, he grabbed the remainder of the bottle of vodka from his bedside table and made him self comfortable on the bathroom floor next to the toilet.

As he lifted the bottle he hated himself all over again but it made the image of Jack vanish and it made everything seem less serious.

It wasn't permanent ... he would fix this.

Just not right now.

----------------------------------------------

Frank leapt out of his car with such ease that he almost wished there was a crowd just standing around to witness the event. It was so smooth he could have been some sort of stunt double in some Hollywood movie.

He brushed the thoughts aside as he walked up the steps and to the front door of Gerard's house. Secretly, he wondered what the fuck he was even doing there, after all, it had been Jess who had called him. Clearly he hadn't learnt his lesson if he was still answering her calls.

Still, for once, the phone conversation hadn't been about her. All she said was, "I think you should come around. Gerard's fucking lost it."

That in itself was reason enough for Frank to merely hang up on her all over again, she was clearly lying out her ass. Yet, if he learnt anything from the day before it was that even Jess could tell the truth sometimes. Giving her the benefit of the doubt, he had made his way over, bracing himself all the way in the car for a good slap in the face when he realised she was lying to him again.

Raising his fist he knocked on the front door. Immediately there were footsteps followed by a rather rude, "It's about fucking time."

"Well, it's nice to see you to," Frank said, when the door swung open and Jess was standing there staring at him in disbelief.

"What took you so long?" she asked, looking slightly disgruntled about something. It really wasn't like her, perhaps something had gone wrong with Gerard.

"Traffic and what not, you know how it is. Why aren't you at school?" Frank followed her deeper into the house and immediately noticed something wasn't quite right. For starters, he could hear crying ... loud crying.

"Clearly I was needed here ... you never told me Gerard drank," she said matter-of-factly as though there wasn't a kid crying his heart out in the next room.

Frank was about to ask if it was Jack crying, after all, he was the only kid that would be in Gerard's house. Yet, it didn't sound like him, it was fucking too heartbreaking, it sounded as though somebody had fucking died.

"He used to, but he got sober years and years ago. Is that Jack?" he finally had to ask, secretly praying to god that it wasn't.

"Got sober? You mean he was an alcoholic? Shit and all this time I just thought he was plain old geeky Gerard," Jess said, completely ignoring the question as her own was already answered.

Suddenly the crying seemed to come to a stop until it was nothing more than a small series of sniffing and sobbing. A small series of sniffing and sobbing that was getting louder and louder as whomever it belonged to finally entered the room.

"Frankie!" Jack cried as he instantly rushed at him.

"Hey Jacky, that you crying?" he asked, but was instantly cut short when the small boy lunged at him and clutched on so tightly that Frank actually felt himself leap into action, ready to fucking hurt whatever it was that had made him so upset.

This was serious ... what the fuck had happened?

"Jack got dragged out when Gerard started spewing. I told him he's over reacting but he wont stop crying," Jess announced rather casually as she sat herself down on the lounge.

Frank just stared at her feeling a great rage sore through his body. After everything they had done for her, she was too fucking selfish to even consolidate a crying kid!

"He's fucking six year's old and he's just seen his dad a drunken mess. I'd be crying to," Frank shot back at her, letting Jack hold him for a few minutes longer before finally decided it was time to calm him down.

Jack's eyes were red from all the tears and his face and shirt were practically soaking wet. It was clear he had been crying for quite some time, Frank was furious of the thought of him sitting all alone when Jess was just as capable as anyone to comfort him.

"Come on Jacky, you have to brave for me okay. I'm going to go check on Gerard ... I promise I'll be back out okay?"

The moment the words left his mouth Jack started crying again as he wrapped his arms around his waist again. Frank knew it was going to be difficult, but he had to get Jack to calm down before he could go anywhere.

"It's all my fault," Jack shouted into Frank's stomach, he could already feel the tears soaking through his shirt. What a mess.

"You know that's not true Jack ... your dad's just having a tough time right now. It's not your fault ... he'll be alright. But you have to let me help him first," Frank said, feeling as though he was doing something right as the crying returned to a gentle sob once more.

"You're going to help him?" Jack asked, finally pulling away again.

"Yep, but you got to let me go first."

With a moments hesitation, Jack finally released Frank from his tight grip and actually let him wonder away without rushing back to him or crying all over again. He hoped that Gerard wasn't as bad as they were both letting up, he wasn't sure he was ready to go through all that again. Gone were the days where he had to pick Gerard up from the ground or go looking for him in all the gutters late at night. He fucking hoped it didn't come to that. Not now.

Gerard's door wasn't locked so he was able to enter a lot quicker then he had anticipated, part of him thought that he would be trying to coax Gerard out, he wasn't in the mood for more negotiating. When he stepped into an empty room, he actually started to doubt that Jess and Jack had been telling the truth.

Instinct took over though and Frank knew that Gerard wouldn't be in bed. Sure enough, the moment he checked the adjoining bathroom, there sat Gerard, leaning against the wall extremely close to the toilet, an empty bottle of vodka was on the floor and he had a beer in his hand.

"Fuck! Aren't you a sight to see," Frank announced, causing Gerard to turn and look at him with vacant eyes.

"Frank ... I think I really fucked up this time," Gerard said, not surprised to see him there at all. In fact, it almost looked as though he had been expecting him.

"Just a little bit. I can fix it though."

"You always do ..." Gerard agreed, shaking his head as he lifted the beer and took another sip of it.

Frank winced at the action. He honestly thought he would never see anything like this again. How wrong he was.

"Gee ... let me help you please?" he settled on saying, watching Gerard closely as though unsure how he would react.

"Fuck Frank ... I don't care. Just so long as you stay ... please?" Gerard slurred, patting the tiles next to him, indicating for Frank to sit with him.

Almost laughing at the extremely polite gesture from a man on the edge, Frank immediately took the offered seat on the floor. The bathroom smelt like spew and Gerard didn't really smell much better, but he didn't care. Gerard needed him and that was all that mattered.

"May I?" Frank asked politely as he reached up and pried the beer from Gerard's hands. He didn't put up much of a fight but merely watched Frank in fascination as he started drinking the remainder of the bottle.

"How's Jack?" Gerard questioned, biting his lip as he spoke.

"He'll be alright. You might want to buy him a car or something though ... you know, make up for the trauma," Frank joked, Gerard snickered but the smile was quickly gone.

"I'm a bad fucking father! And don't you dare say I'm not Frank Iero because I've fucking proved it today!" he shouted, shoving his pointer finger into Frank's arm as he said his full name.

"That's what all this was about? Proving to me you were a bad father? Shesh, couldn't you have like left him at a bus stop or something instead?"

Gerard laughed again; Frank smiled and wrapped his arm around the other man's shoulders. Instantly Gerard's head was resting against Frank and he honestly felt like he could sit like that forever. Even though the day had clearly been one big fat mess for everyone involved, the whole thing seemed so fucking typically Gerard. Keep everyone on their toes; don't ever let them know what you're going to do next.

Well, no one ever saw this one coming.

"It's fucked," Gerard announced, as though it settled some matter they had been discussing for hours now.

"It certainly is," Frank agreed.

Immediately there moment was interrupted by the sound of Gerard's bedroom door opening again. There were footsteps and then the very pale and worried face of Mikey appeared in the bathroom doorway. The moment he saw Gerard he hastily moved to his other side and sank to the floor next to him.

"Fuck Gee ... what have you done this time?" Mikey asked, but there was no anger in his voice, he was merely gentle and kind as he pulled his brother in for a hug.

"I thought you were in the hospital," Frank said, pointing at Mikey's arm which he now realised was in a sling.

"Yeah, I dislocated my shoulder. No big deal ... I came over to see Gee cause Alicia said he was so worried and when I walked in the door Jack nearly knocked me over. For a moment I thought someone had thrown a bucket of water over him, he was fucking drenched ... then I realised he'd been crying and ... Shit - I dunno man, for a second I thought you were dead," Mikey practically shouted as he pulled his brother into a hug again. It was only one handed, but it was enough.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you Mikes," Gerard said into his brothers shoulder as he weakly hugged back, apparently unaware that there was any other conversation going on save for the one in his head.

"Fuck Gee, I already know that! This isn't about me now, it's about you! Just ... don't do this again," Mikey pleaded, trying to smile through his concerned expression.

None of them needed to say that they were disappointed that they were all back here again. Nobody needed to say how unexpected this was or how typical or anything else for that matter. Thing is, deep down, Frank and Mikey had always known Gerard would be back here again. Now that he was and they knew about it, they could help.

They weren't too late. Gerard could still be saved.

"You recon you're about done spewing Gee? This floor is fucking killing my ass, how about we put you to bed?" Frank suggested, eternally grateful when Gerard nodded.

Together, he and Mikey helped support the stumbling mess that was Gerard back into bed.

"I'm too old for this shit," Gerard moaned into his pillow. "I have a kid now and ..."

Instantly Gerard sprang upright and tried to shuffle himself out of bed. Frank pinned him down, trying to get him to calm himself so he could finally get some sleep.

"Frank! Jack ... where is he?" Gerard practically shouted, looking around horrified.

"Don't worry Gee ... we've got it," Frank assured him, rolling his eyes at how over dramatic he was being.

"But, he needs me - I'm supposed to be his fucking father. What have I done?" he asked, making it quite clear to them the sort of inner turmoil’s that led him to his little drinking overdose.

"What anyone in your fucking situation would have done Gee! Now fucking shut up and go to sleep. You're not alone, you have a brother, you have me and we're here to help," Frank announced rather forcefully as he hopped desperately the words would sink in.

Apparently they did. The moment he had calmed Gerard down enough to rest his head back down on the pillow, he was fast asleep. For the first time since he had arrived, Frank seemed to breathe easy.

It was fucked ... it was all fucking fucked! But somehow, like always, they would make it through.

"Alright spill Mikes ... what happened to your shoulder?" Frank decided to ask after a few moments of watching Gerard sleep. He needed the distraction and honestly, he just needed to fucking know.

"Nothing ... I fell, that's all," Mikey said, immediately going red. Frank just rolled his eyes, nothing could be that embarrassing, he hated having to fight for what should just be a simple response.

"Come on Mikes, don't make me fucking beg, I'm too tired for this shit. I'll find out eventually anyway," he continued to push, watching Mikey's blushing face with increased interest.

"Promise you wont fucking laugh. And don't tell Gerard!" Mikey said, laying down the rules before he spilled.

"Yeah, yeah ... better be worth it," Frank muttered, getting impatient.

"Well - um - Alicia ... I don't fucking know what got into her all of a sudden but, well she wanted to try something a little different. So she bought handcuffs ..."

Frank suppressed a laugh.

"And well ... I gave it a go for her but the stupid things are so fucking uncomfortable so I told her to take them off. Then she says she can't find the keys. Naturally I didn't panic because these things are supposed to have like a safety lock or something. But not these one's, no, she had to get some official things and she had to fucking misplace the key. So then we didn't know who the hell to call and we get into an argument about the whole situation and next thing I know I try to walk away from her -"

"Ohhhh, big mistake numb-nuts," Frank intervened, unable to help himself.

"So I realised. Alicia wasn't expecting the sudden pull and instantly tried to pull me back, I lost my balance and fell. Now because we were fucking tied together and I was half turned away from her when I fell, my arm kind of twisted around whilst my shoulder stayed put and there you have it. A sexual toy gone fucking wrong," Mikey finished, refusing to look at Frank as his cheeks remained bright red.

Frank wanted to laugh, boy did he want to, but he held back, he had to. After all, if he had of known that Alicia was going to pull something like this, he probably would have given her a heads up about the whole pirate’s fantasy. Probably had the potential to be a lot safer.

"Bet Alicia felt guilty as hell," Frank said, if only to say something.

"It's a funny thing actually. She did it because she claimed it would spice things up a bit, bring us closer together," Mikey ventured into saying, obviously feeling Frank wasn't going to laugh at him this time. "Strange thing is ... lying in the ambulance and then lying in the emergency ward I realised that she's always been there for me, no matter what."

Frank smiled at that, he had to. After all, that was what love was about, being there for each other. He had realised that lately. With Gerard, he had never been there ... but that was going to change. He had a lot of making up to do.

"In the end, I guess she did the right thing in getting the handcuffs, it certainly did bring us closer together," Mikey said, letting out a rather heavy sigh as he smiled at Gerard and pushed a stray hair out of his sleeping face.

"I guess that's one way of putting it," Frank said, trying to remain serious. But the more he thought about it the funnier the whole situation got and before he knew it he was laughing.

It wasn't long before Mikey was joining in to.

They really were all just part of one great big fucking mess.

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AN: Sorry this one took so long to update. I dunno, I like it better, but this chapter was just too much. I'm glad it's over but I am happy with the end result. The next chapter is allll Frank and his past, because I feel like all the flash backs have been Gerards. This was his chapter, next is Franks - it's my fav xx