Categories > Original > Humor > Loser
- My ROFLcopter never landed, and my LMAOntain bike saw constant movement. It is quiet safe to say I LOLed.
Now, seriously. Excellent story. The "Matt does not/thinks/uses" one-clause sentences fit the atmosphere of this story perfectly. I also like how it seemed very realistic, with situations that happen to most of us.
I don't play Doom, but I'm hooked on Counter-Strike. Uh-oh.
Author\'s Response: I think you're okay, Forge. The reason why Matt (and the other losers at his office) accepts his label is because he gives up after one feeble attempt to escape loserdom.
- Nice. I always like to see experimental writing used for humor. This was pretty good. Adequate length, if it was too long, the joke might have worn thin. Strangely enough... I imagining Matt looking like Dilbert.
Author\'s Response: Thanks. I seem to recall that part of the inspiration for this story was that I was sick of people misspelling "loser," as "looser," and I wanted to highlight the difference between the two words.
(#) armourdude 2006-04-04I think everyone that works in an office knows someone like Matt.
The telling of the story in this style really set the mood. The story read for me as a series of pictures in my mind. I was able to put a person I have met in to each of the characters places as I visialised the story.
- "Karen is happy. Loser made a good speech, and Moron has promised to stop wearing that silly toupee. No one really gets Karen, but what a rack."
this made me laugh.. damn.. everyone knows a karen.. or IS a karen, everyone knows someone like matt or marcus... funny thing.. throughout the entire story, i imagined matt looking like my P.C. teacher lmao.. oh damn. I loved the nicknames that you came up with. I must say that Lardball made me laugh considerably. That was a perfect story to cheer me up today. It was funny and I am bored at school right now so... well, lets just say it certainly helped.
you are funny D. lmao. ~*~ Heather
- I forgot to mention...
there are some days that i feel like matt. that everyone is calling me a loser or something offensive...
in reality they are... but moreso by their actions than their words (in Matts case) or I guess you could have been going for the whole...'they really are calling you a loser and then hiding the fact they said it when you ask them what they said' ha
either way, it was sadly relatable... I think I felt like that every day of my life from middleschool until the end of highschool.
Author\'s Response: Actually, they aren't saying that Matt is a loser. They're just thinking of it. Be glad; for many of us it ends at high school.
(#) lilyqueen777 2006-04-12"Matt is a loser. This isn't because he plays computer games, or the way he dresses, or his limp-zucchini biceps, or his hygiene, which is actually quite good. Matt well-knows that he's a loser, but if we asked him what is so loserly about him, he would not be able to articulate his answer."~those lines made me smile cause it reminds me of how high school is.
and this is interesting story...i love how paranoid mark was (or maybe that's how i interpret the story) cause he always hear loser!
i'm not sure about the cyinism but still...
Author's responseI was trying to show that even paranoid people aren't always too paranoid. Whatever his other failings, Matt does have an accurate idea of how people think of him. (sigh) For Matt, it didn't end at high school. That's the sad part.
- I have mixed feelings about this. I'd give it a nice try, BUT, rating. The humor is part of the way there, but you really need to be more of an asshole to all the characters to really bring it off. Good humor needs the mentality of a giggling barracuda.
Author's responseDo you mean that Matt should have been more of an asshole or that his coworkers should have? I was skeptical about putting this in the humor section. It's more of a general with moments of levity.
- Since they do not have a rating that covers what I think of this, I will just tell you; I agree that ficwad needs a general catagory. This did not fit what I would find humorous.
The premise is promising, but there is a great deal of repetition, and only where it should be. It is fine to stress a notion, but there are too many notions stressed here.
And there is an overuse of names where pronouns would carry the idea.
The structure here seems out of whack. Possibly re-ordering some of the phrasing would help. Punctuation is another issue.
Not a train wreck, but not perfect; this falls inbetween.
Thank you for sharing.
(#) FrostedGlass 2006-10-02Enjoyable story. The style reminded me slightly of Terry Pratchett at times (especially the thing about how it balances out when people are not actually referring to Matt as “loser” but thinking he is one anyway), which is a good thing coming from me.
What I liked best is the cynicism you used when explaining what Matt and Marcus´ friendship/ symbiosis is based on and pointing out the reason why Luanne was nice to people in grade school. I could just die for those little caustic remarks.
What I did not get was why Marcus went to therapy - you would think that the geeks needed therapy after having met Marcus - and the whole “BLEEP!cking”. (I mean I know what it stands for but what is it doing here?) Maybe you can explain that to me?
From a linguistic point of view, I guess that should be “to de-loseR him” because Luanne is trying to get Matt into stop being a loser and not trying to “find” or “retrieve” him which would be what “de-lose” should logically mean. One can probably argue about that one, though, because it´s a made up word. Sorry, I´m fascinated with linguistics.
I found it funny (thus, found putting it into the humor section appropriate) and to my taste the repetitions made it even more entertaining.
Author's responseActually, I never did get into why Luanne was nice to everyone, but I meant to imply that Marcus's meanie behavior advanced to the point where someone blessedly took a hand.
The "bleep!cking" part is probably a holdover from when I had to submit this in class.
It's okay do say "de-lose," using "lose" as a verb (Plus it sounds so very much like "delouse"). If I used "loser" as a noun I'd have to add something else, like "deloserify." Your logic makes sense, though. If you want to get into linguistics, the real made-up words in here are "grubbish," "nerdly" and "loserly."
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