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I fiddled with my already stressed out fingers as I sat on the single seated couch with my shoulders scrunched high up. I slowly let my eyes drift to the two girls in front of me to check their reactions from reading the note that Gerard wrote.
They looked at me with blank shocked faces. Toni's mouth was half open.
Maria was the first to say something. "Uhh... well I told you so," she sighed.
I narrowed my eyes at her. I expected her smart professional lechtures.
"But, how can he all of a sudden just go 'hey Nicole, let's talk!'?" Toni asked frantically and her eyes ran through the note again.
I usually would laugh at her mimicing Gerard, but this time I just simply stared at her.
"My theory is," Maria spoke up again. "That as he has written down that he heard you cry that night so maybe... he has sympathy after all."
"What type of reason is that?" Toni asked.
"I don't know!" Maria flipped her off, then looked at me. "Nicole you just gotta wait till he comes back and see what he wants to talk about."
This is why I need a phychic.
I sighed, "What if what he wants to talk about is bad?"
"Nicole," Toni stood up with her arms over her chest. "Take it like a man for once in awhile. If it's bad, then you know you got us okay? It's not the end of the world."
I nodded hesitantly and bit my nail.
"By the way," Toni looked at me weirdly. "Why are you fussing over this Gerard thing overdramatically?"
I froze. "I'm not being overdramatic!" I frowned at her.
"Yes you are," Toni argued back.
"No! I'm just..." I bit my bottom lip.
"You're just what?"
"I don't know," I shrugged.
"Well I think you're hiding something," she narrowed her eyes at me.
"Toni! What is your problem?" Maria jumped in. "She's just anxious about Gerard because he's never spoken to her before."
"I'm sorry Nicole, I just thought you liked Gerard that's all." Toni shrugged.
"You have a dirty mind," Maria stared at her friend.
Well, I know their reaction if I ever told them. Maybe I am being overdramatic. I'm being stupid. Maybe Gerard won't even talk to me, maybe he'll just be a coward and decide to never come home. Maybe Gerard decides he liked the life where he ignored me all the time and never even speaks or writes a note to me ever again. My glimpse of hope started to fade.


Well that's how I spent my yesterday, and today I was spending my day in front of the quiet television waiting for Gerard to come home. The whole time I hoped he would at least come home. Gosh, I hated waiting so much because in the time of waiting I had all these negative insecure feelings about what might and might not happen. I felt so hungry by watching a cooking show but I was too lazy to start cooking something to eat. I checked the time at it was already 5pm. When was he supposed come? He never did give a time. Maybe I should make dinner... for two. I quickly got up and ran into the kitchen. I dished out some ingredients to cook.

I knew he'd never come! I knew he'd never come! I chucked my dirty dished into the sink and left it there. It was almost 10pm and he wasn't home yet and it pissed me off and upsetted me a lot. So I had to give up and eat alone. I stomped out of the kitchen and up to my room. I didn't care to change into comfortable clothes or to clean off my make up because I knew my tears ruined my make up but I was not bothered with it. I jumped on my bed and sobbed loudly. I hated everything and I hated myself for having my hopes up for everything. He must have decided that he didn't want me anymore. I mean, I'm not surprised. I'm not the best person and he must be happy just living like no one else was there maybe probably he's never going come back. I hissed in pain.
"Please come back, please come back, please come back..." I chanted continously, it helped the pain inside me ease a little. I squeezed my eyes shut which made the last few tears run down my cheek. "Please come back..." I chanted on and on as I hoped I might fall asleep.
"Nicole," his voice was quivery. "I'm here, are you okay?"
I stopped chanting and turned around to see Gerard sitting beside me. His dark hair was all over the place. I felt embarrassed for him to see me in a stupid state.
"Do you... wanna talk?" he seemed bashful.
I covered my face with my hands, "I can't talk right now."
"O-ok," he sat there and fiddled. "You should sleep them."
I nodded.
Gerard stood up, "Talk tomorrow then?"
I nodded again.
"Okay."
"Gerard?"
"Hmm?"
"What if you're not here tomorrow?" I asked.
Gerard slightly smiled and sat back down. "If you want, I can sit here all night," he paused. "Sorry, I didn't mean to sound so..."
"It's okay, I um... there is room for one more person," I was glad that I had a dimmed lamp so he couldn't see me blush.
"Well if you're okay with it..."
I nodded.


My god, was this wrong? Sleeping in the same bed with your step father? Yet he smells so nice and I was so tempted to touch him.







Yay!!
Took me ALL day
Anyways guess what?
I'm getting better now!
Yay!!!!!


Review?
Did it end weirdly?