Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > My Only Sunshine

I'd End My Days With You

by ipanicdaily 4 reviews

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama - Characters: Frank Iero,Gerard Way,Mikey Way,Ray Toro - Published: 2008-12-10 - Updated: 2008-12-10 - 2914 words - Complete


"Please come save me!" Gerard pleaded with Ray over the phone.

"You're on your own this time asshole." Ray told him harshly. "You brought it upon yourself." He hung up and Gerard's head fell against the back of the closet. It was the fastest place he found to hide, though he knew he wouldn't be hidden much longer. Frank would find him because Frank was searching the house and Gerard was indeed still in it.

"STOP HIDING YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Frank yelled from somewhere downstairs. Gerard wished there was a lock on the inside of the closet but there wasn't so he just had to wait. He tried to pull himself farther back but the closet wasn't all that big. When he heard Frank come up the stairs, Gerard took a deep breath and said good-bye to his life.

It was silent but of course Gerard's phone started going off as Mikey called him. He wouldn't talk to Mikey because he was afraid of what Mikey would say, then do, to him. Gerard was already quite afraid of Frank at the moment and didn't want it from Mikey. Of course the phone going off led Frank right to him and Gerard squeezed his eyes shut as Frank opened the closet. He could feel the anger radiating off him. "OUT!" Frank yelled at him, standing aside while Gerard took a deep breath and crawled from the closet to the bed.

"Frank, I-" He started when Frank cut him off.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Frank yelled at him and Gerard pulled a pillow into his lap to try and hide from Frank. "LOOK AT ME YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" He pulled the pillow from Gerard's lap and threw it across the room.

"Please stop yelling..." Gerard was desperate to calm Frank down a little before his eardrums popped.

"I have every right to be yelling!" Frank snapped at him but not quite as loudly. His voice was still sharp and furious though. "You're a fucking inconsiderate asshole!"

"I thought-"

"No, you didn't think!" Frank shut his eyes tightly and held his forehead for a moment as his face pointed to the ceiling. "Did you think I wanted you to fucking suffer this as well?!"

"Please calm down Frankie..." Gerard spoke quietly and avoided possible eye contact; afraid that Frank's eyes would burn right through him; literally.

"DON'T try to be sweet with me right now!" Frank snapped at him. Gerard winced from Frank's voice and he wished he was anywhere else at the moment. He would even take Mikey over Frank at the moment; though he knew the lashing from Mikey's mouth would be just as harsh. "I can't believe you Gerard!"

"Easier..." Was all Gerard managed to choke out, tears starting to come to his eyes. He really didn't want to argue with Frank.

"Easier?! You think it's easy?" Frank shot at him and Gerard shook his head. "Good! Because it's not easy one fucking bit!"

"Easier for us..." Gerard mumbled, biting his lip to try and get his mind to focus on something else.

"It hardly makes anything easier!" Frank said, calming down maybe 2 percent. "So we can fuck without protection now; big deal!" Inevitably Frank found out about Gerard being HIV positive; and about Frank being the one he got it from. Gerard couldn't come up with a lie that could convince him so he just had to say it. "You have to take the medication at the same time every day; no excuses. You have to be cautious of what you do so you don't get sick. You have the constant nagging thought about when your last day will come." Frank's voice was softer but still very sharp and full of anger.

"I'm sorry..." Gerard said, still avoiding eye contact with Frank.

"Sorry isn't going to undo it!" Frank sat on the bed now. "I thought you knew better! After all the harping you gave me about it!" Tears suddenly started coming from Frank's eyes as he threw his head back with frustration. "Christ!" Gerard felt this stabbing pain in his gut and he realized that maybe making sure he made himself positive was a really bad idea; even though it was too late.

"Frank..." Gerard said quietly but nothing else would come out of his mouth. He crawled across the bed to try and comfort Frank but Frank pulled away from his grasp.

"Don't touch me right now." Frank said coldly and Gerard just sat back, pain consuming him now. "I'm going out."

"W-where?" Gerard asked hesitantly.

"No idea." He said, walking out the door of the bedroom and down the stairs. Gerard quickly got off the bed and followed him.

"W-where are you going?"

"No clue." Frank put on his shoes and grabbed a hoodie that he quickly slid on then opened the front door. "Don't wait up for me." He said then slammed the door shut, Gerard slamming his head against the wall then slowly sliding down it until his butt met the floor.

He cried for a few minutes then found his cellphone and called Ray again. "Ray!" He cried into the phone.

"Now what?" Ray was speaking just as harshly to Gerard as Frank was.

"I made him runaway again!" Gerard cried. "He said he doesn't know where he's going or when he'll be back and that I shouldn't wait up for him!"

"Gerard, I'm tired of cleaning up your fucking messes!" Ray yelled at him with frustration. "Frank is smart; he's not going to hurt himself again. Stop fucking calling me and deal with it." Ray hung up on Gerard which only made him cry harder. He had driven his boyfriend and best friend away. His only hope was Mikey; who would be just as furious.

"M-Mikey?" Gerard asked hesitantly when the phone was answered.

"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD THAT WHEN I SEE YOU I'M FUCKING BEATING YOUR ASS!" Mikey yelled so Gerard held the phone away from his ear.

"Please listen-"

"NO!" Mikey yelled some more. "I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET AHOLD OF YOU FOR THE PAST FEW HOURS! YOU DIDN'T WANT TO LISTEN TO ME, I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOU." He too hung up and Gerard felt really nauseous. For the first time in his life, he truly felt alone in the world.


Gerard sat in the corner of the bedroom, clutching his knees to his chest and repeatedly telling himself that he didn't need alcohol. It had been three days since Frank left; and hasn't come back. Gerard tried to call his phone but he wouldn't pick up; nor would Ray, Mikey, or even Bob. He was starting to slip out of his mind because no one would talk to him. Alone and scared, Gerard resorted to the last thing he could think of.

Pulling out his cellphone, Gerard called the one person that he suddenly had the urge to talk to. "B-Bert?" He asked quietly when the other end was answered.

"Nope; Quinn." A cheery voice said. "Bert's in an interview. Who's this?"

"G-Gerard." He said quietly.

"Gerard...oh! You're the singer for My Chemical Romance! I remember you!" Quinn said. He sounded way too upbeat and it was scaring Gerard even more. "You sound really upset. What's wrong?"

"N-nothing." Gerard said. Even though he was desperate for someone to talk to, he didn't know Quinn. Plus, it sounded like the guy was wasted or something so Gerard didn't think he would be of much help. "C-can you have Bert call me later?"

"Sure." Quinn said, still overly happy. "Bye Gerard." He hung up and Gerard put the phone in front of him, staring at it like it would do something magical and fix everything in an instant. Gerard hadn't left the bedroom except to use the bathroom or take his medication. He hadn't eaten or slept since Frank left. He knew it wasn't good at all for him to do that but he couldn't function. His life was quickly unraveling and it was freaking him out.

About an hour later, Gerard's phone started going off so he quickly opened it and answered. "I didn't think I would ever hear from you again." Bert said, slight amusement in his voice. "Why'd you call? Miss me?"

"I really need someone to talk to." Gerard said quietly. "Can we forget about the past?"

"Course." Bert said, sounding just as overly happy as Quinn. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Nothing in particular. Just to talk. I've been alone for three days with no one to talk to and it's driving me crazy." Bert started laughing and Gerard felt like crying all over again. He had cried himself to the point that he swore blood started coming from his eyes. They were red and stung incredibly bad. "Why are you laughing?"

"Told you your pint size guitarist would break your heart." Bert said and Gerard sighed. He was starting to regret calling Bert in the first place.

"N-no." Gerard told him, his voice quiet and shaky. "I broke his."

"What'd you do? Tell him you wanted a better fuck?" Bert was laughing hysterically at this point and Gerard quickly remembered why he didn't much care for Bert.

"No you fucking asshole!" Gerard snapped at him. "I made him give me HIV!" Bert quickly stopped laughing. "I'm sorry I called you." He hung up the phone and threw it so hard against the wall that it busted into about three pieces as it fell to the ground.

Gerard buried his head in his knees again and started to cry. The unbearable desire to kill himself was starting to take over his mind until he questioned himself as to the quickest, easiest way. Frank obviously was through him; as were Ray and even Mikey, his own brother. "A gun would work....or even a knife if I do it quick enough..." Gerard mumbled to himself. "Hanging would take too long and drowning would be unbearable; as would burning...." Gerard lifted his head as he thought about his options. "Pills could work; they'd be painless if I was asleep...."

"The disease is your means of suicide." Frank said quietly from the door way and Gerard's mind suddenly snapped back to him as he looked to Frank. "You're only allowed one so you might as well stop thinking about the others."

"F-Frank?" Gerard mumbled. He had no idea if it was really Frank or if he was just imagining it.

"Gerard." Frank said, unemotional and kind of uncaring. His arms were crossed and he was leaning against the molding of the doorway. "You haven't eaten or slept have you?" He asked and Gerard shook his head. Frank sighed and pushed off the doorway then walked to Gerard and knelt down to him. "Get off the ground and into bed. Get some rest and I'll have some soup ready for when you wake up."

Gerard obeyed and got off the ground, climbing into the bed and laying down. Frank pulled a blanket over him then left the room without saying another word. Gerard was glad Frank was safe but he couldn't help but think that this time, he really fucked everything up.


"Gerard..." Gerard's eyes opened to see Frank sitting next to him. "You have to get up."

"W-what?" Gerard mumbled, lifting his head from the pillow a little and blinking his eyes.

"You've been asleep for the past two days." Frank told him, still emotionless in his voice. "You have to get up and eat something plus take your medication." Frank said.

"T-two days?" Gerard said with shock and Frank nodded, getting off the bed. Gerard sat up and rubbed his eyes as Frank left the room. Getting off the bed, Gerard followed Frank to the kitchen and sat at the table where Frank gave him a glass of water, his medicine, and some vegetarian something. At that point Gerard didn't even care because he was starving.

"Mikey's coming over today." Frank told him as he sat at the table and watched Gerard. Gerard could see pain in Frank's eyes and he cursed himself mentally for doing this to Frank. "He's ready to talk to you."

"Frank; I'm sorry..." Gerard mumbled as he ate.

"Not now." Frank told him, getting up from the table and going to the living room to fold up some blankets. Gerard watched him and realized that Frank was sleeping on the couch which put more pain in Gerard's heart because Frank was really upset with him. "Solve your problems with your brother first; then Ray."

"But I want to fix it between us first!" Gerard protested.

"Family and friends first." Frank said quietly.

"You're my family and my friend!" Gerard said, his pain coming out through his voice.

"I don't feel like either at the moment." Frank told him and more pain hit Gerard. He didn't know him getting HIV would cause this much strain on Frank. "But you don't do well with being alone and after hearing you talk about killing yourself, I called both Mikey and Ray to talk to them. They agreed to come and talk to you."

"What about you? I have you to talk to."

"Gerard; not now." Frank said again, taking the empty plate from Gerard and putting it in the sink. There was a knock at the door so Frank answered it; hugging Mikey then stepping aside for him to come in. For once, Bob wasn't with Mikey and Mikey didn't even seem bothered by it. "I'll be in the other room." Frank told Mikey quietly and Mikey nodded as he sat at the table with Gerard.

"Hey Mikey." Gerard said quietly. Mikey just glared at him with anger. "I know; you hate me."

"I'll never hate you Gerard." Mikey said; no emotion in his voice just like Frank spoke with no emotion. It was starting to get on Gerard's nerves. "You're my brother. I dislike you right now, a lot, but I'll never hate you."

"Thanks..." Gerard mumbled. "I'm sorry about all of this. I really am. I know I really fucked everything up with everyone."

"You did go too far this time." Mikey told him. "It was bad enough not knowing when my best friend was going to die; now I have no idea when my brother will."

"We don't know when we'll die to begin with."

"Gee," Mikey put his hand over Gerard's, "people with HIV or AIDS don't usually last that long." Tears came to Mikey's eyes. "I can't go on without you."

"I'm fine. I'll keep myself alive until I'm at least eighty." He smiled but Mikey just stared at him. "I'm not letting it take me anytime soon."

"You shouldn't have let it take you at all." Mikey told him and Gerard sighed. He knew that; now.

"Mikey," Gerard lowered his voice, "I had to do it." Mikey just stared at him, trying not to cry. "Please understand little bro. I feel so bad for causing everyone so much pain over it but it had to be done. When Frank goes, I won't make it a day longer. Suicide, even though this kind of is, is just not the way to go." A few tears ran down Mikey's face. "I know that when it's time, Frank and I will go together. It's the way it's supposed to be; always has been."

"Please don't talk about your death right now." Mikey said and Gerard squeezed his hand a little, using his other hand to wipe away the tears.

"I have to fix things between myself and Frank, but we both plan on having a good long life still Mikey. There's so many things we have yet to do. Our band is taking off nicely; Frank and I have yet to get married." A small smile came to Mikey's face which eased Gerard's pain slightly. "Christmas with everyone at your new house because fucking Bob can kiss ass." Mikey laughed a little now and Gerard smiled. "Plus, one day, I want a family; more than just the five of us fucked up assholes."

"Me too." Mikey said, drying his eyes. He got up from his chair and wrapped his arms around Gerard. "Promise me you'll live for a lot longer..." Mikey whispered and Gerard put his arms around Mikey to hug him back.

"I promise." Gerard whispered back; meaning each syllable with all his heart. "I have to fix things with Frank before it's too late." He said after a few mintues of hugging Mikey and Mikey nodded, letting going and taking a deep breath. "Call me whenever you want; well I have to get a new phone but as soon as I do, call me."

"Bye Gee." Mikey said, heading for the door.

"Bye Mikey." Gerard said, feeling happy for the first time in a few days. He got up from the table and locked the door then went to the living room where he found Frank watching the Nightmare Before Christmas. "You and I need to talk." Gerard said, turning off the television.

"Not now..." Frank mumbled and Gerard stood in front of him, kneeling down and looking Frank directly in the eyes.

"Yes, now."

A/N--- like I said in the previous chapter; skipped school today

so I had extra writing time xD
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