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Ch.3----Beauty That I'm Faking ((Honey This Mirror Isn't Big Enough for the Two of Us MCR))

Frank POV

Alcohol solved one of my two dilemmas. It helped stop me from going to Mikey's, but I can't stop thinking about Gerard. I'm on my tenth beer in two or three hours. I've lost track of how long it's been. I only know how many beers I've had because I had a twelve pack and only two are left. The problem with drinking like this though is that I'll probably get sick, possibly alcohol poisoning, and I'll have one bitch of a hangover.

"Frank?" I suddenly heard Ray's voice. His body appeared over mine a few moments later. Apparently I was lying down. I think I did or took something before I started drinking; I don't remember. "Real nice." He said, reaching down and grabbing my arm, pulling me onto to my feet.

"Not a good idea." I said, nausea suddenly coming over me. Ray picked me up then carried me over his shoulder to the back yard since it was closer to than the bathroom. He held me by the shoulders as the contents of my stomach suddenly spewed out and all over the bushes. The acid burned my throat but I couldn't stop. This lasted about five minutes before I finally seemed to have completely emptied myself. Ray picked me up again, (not only is he ridiculously strong now, but I haven't exactly been eating much lately and lost considerable amounts of weight) and carried me back inside; propping me on the couch in a half laying, half sitting position. "Thanks." I mumbled.

"Drinking like this isn't good Frank." Ray told me, getting a glass of water and some aspirin. "You should know its results by now." He said, handing them to me. I knew he was referencing Gerard but I kept my mouth shut. Well actually I didn't say anything because I was drinking the water. "Sorry what I said earlier." Ray said, sitting by me.

"'s ok." I mumbled, letting my head fall back and shutting my eyes. "You were right."

"No I wasn't." Ray took the glass from my shaking hand and set it on the table. "Mikey shouldn't lie to Gerard. Yes, I agree that he shouldn't be told that you two had a relationship but I don't think he should believe that he hates his best friend." I smiled at that. I haven't considered Gerard my best friend since Bert.

"Easier this way." I said, my headache already growing.

"For him maybe, but you know your memory is still intact." Ray put a hand on my head for a brief moment, no doubt checking to see if I had a fever I was known to get sick easily and was constantly being taken care of by Ray, Bob, Mikey, and/or Gerard when we were still a group of five. "Letting it go on like this will only destroy you more."

"I'll die soon enough anyway." I mumbled. My head was pounding and my throat still slightly burning.

"Don't say that." Ray said harshly to me, getting up from the couch. "Right now you're going to lie down until this goes away." He said, lifting me up onto my feet again. "I'm tired of watching you waste away. You're not eating and drinking like there's no tomorrow. That's not the Frank I remember."

"He's dead." I told Ray, holding my head with my hands for a moment until the room stopped spinning. "That Frank has been dead for years. Stop trying to resurrect him."

"Stop feeling bad for yourself!" Ray suddenly snapped, grabbing my shoulders as I began to lose balance. "The only fucking way you're going to be happy again is by solving your issues with Gerard. Yes, I know he doesn't remember you. I actually see that as perfect."

"How the fuck is that perfect?" Yelling was a bad idea. Now my head hurts more. "The man I loved not only ripped my heart up when we were together, now he can't even fucking remember me!" I was harsh but quiet for sake of my mentality. The littlest of noises seemed super magnified. A pin dropping would cause severe pain.

"Look, I know the bastard hurt you. Bob and I both knew he was doing stupid shit with Bert; we didn't say anything because it would have only made problems worse." Ray sat me back down, realizing that I wasn't going to be standing for much longer anyway. I was now pissed at him. I had been trying to convince them for months that Gerard was doing drugs but they let me believe they didn't know.

"How could things have gotten worse?" I asked coldly, eyes shut again.

"You know Gerard." Ray said, sitting by me again. "He's not quite mentally stable. If we all suddenly confronted him about a drug abuse problem, he would have freaked out and said that we were against him; just like he accused you. He would have disappeared one night to go god knows where, probably never returning." Fuck Ray. I hate how he's always right. You try your hardest to prove him wrong but you can't. He's way to fucking smart. "Then when you just up and left, things went to hell."

"Yeah I know that story already." I said, thinking about Mikey's phone calls. "Believe me."

"So, with Gerard's memory gone, so is his drug abuse problem. He can't remember doing them and if taken care of properly, he won't go to them." Again, he's right. I love Ray as much as I hate him. "This is a chance for you to start new." Ray said with hope. "For all of us."

"What about Mikey?" I asked, my headache dissolving slightly.

"I'll work on him." Ray said, rubbing my arm as though he was encouraging me to do something. "Tomorrow, you're going to his place to talk to Gerard. I'll make sure Mikey is out."

"Does it have to be tomorrow?" I whined a little. I wasn't ready to face him. I haven't seen him since I walked away from the band.

"The longer you wait, the more he'll believe you are his enemy." Christ, where's a bat when you need one? I seriously wanted to just smack Ray upside the head. He's like a fucking fountain of knowledge; whose always fucking right. "Now though, you're going to rest."

"Will you stay here with me? I haven't had someone to talk to for awhile." The other problem with drinking; you do things you wouldn't normally do. I haven't 'opened' up to someone since the whole fight with Gerard. He made my heart close. I was hoping Jamia could fix that, because I really care for her, but she's trying to change me. I don't want to change.

"Sure. But you're going to lie down in your bed where you can get proper rest. I'll sleep here on the couch." Ray helped me up yet again.

"No dealing in my house." I said, trying to smile but unable to manage it.

"I've decided to give that up." Ray said quietly, holding me by the arm as we walked to my room. "It's not the life I want."

"Good for you." I said with as much happiness as I could produce at the moment. Ray's life was in danger dealing drugs; not only because of possible arrest but also because one of his crack head customers could spontaneously snap on him. "Where are you staying?"

"I'm not sure yet. I have enough money to find a studio apartment or something." His voice seemed a little sad and, drunk or not, I made the best decision I could all night.

"You're staying with me." I said firmly. "No way my fucking friend is staying in some shitty apartment."

"I don't mind it, honestly." Ray said, opening my bedroom door. He lifted me up then carried me to my bed because my legs were starting to give out. Probably because I haven't eaten in awhile.

"Who the fuck else is going to take care of me?" I asked as he gently placed me on the bed. "Mikey's a raving asshole now and no one knows what the fuck is going on with Bob."

"Bob's really busy." Ray said, pulling my shirt off then my shoes which I thought were already off but I guess not. "Like the rest of us, he made some poor choices."

"Like what?" I asked with sarcasm. Bob was like the fucking saint of the band. Well him or Mikey.

"Like sleeping with someone and ending up with a kid." Ray said, pulling the blanket over me as I stared at him (I think; I was pretty drunk at this point) with shock. "He didn't want anyone to know. I found out because I drove him insane with questions." There was a little pride in his voice.

"Well yeah; you're like the glue." Yep, pretty drunk. I really had no idea what I was even saying. "You keep us all together." Ray just laughed slightly and turned the light off to my relief. I realized that light was bothersome as well.

"Thanks; but I made poor decisions as well." Ray told me, heading for the door. "And I have to live with the consequences just like you have to live with yours and Bob with his." I had no idea what Ray meant, but at that moment I didn't really care. I was more concerned with sleep and the most obnoxious question dancing through my mind.

What do I say to Gerard?

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Gee's POV

"Yeah, one day we'll get married and live happily ever after Gee."

"You really think so?" I asked, smiling as I stared into the vast night sky. Small white spots covered the midnight blue color. Stars are one of the most beautiful pieces of nature; if that's what they are.

"Well I love you Gee with all my heart and I'll do anything to be with you."

"Same here. I love you too F-"

I suddenly opened my eyes and realized I was in Mikey's room. I had a really weird dream; or was it my memory...? The doctor said it could come back to me. Was it? Confused, I rubbed my eyes and looked at the clock. It was noon. I think. Noon or midnight.

Getting off the bed, I walked out to the living room and looked around. Yep, it was noon. The apartment was really bright. I didn't see Mikey anywhere so I went to the kitchen where I found a note on the counter. 'Gerard, went out with Ray. Be back in a few hours. Call if you need anything. Mikey.' He left his phone number too but I figured I should be fine on my own for a bit.

Coffee. Coffee is the greatest invention ever. Don't let anyone make you believe otherwise. Apparently that wasn't damaged by my accident. Mikey said I've always loved coffee. It made him smile when I told him how much I liked it. I mean, I want to be the Gerard he remembers, but I don't know if I can. I don't remember what I used to be like. All I know is what Mikey or Ray or the one time I saw Bob tell me.

Grabbing a comic book, I sat at the table in an attempt to get interested in it. While reading my comic, I had the Misfits playing to help me like them again. It was kind of working. It was one of those things where you don't really like it at first but the more you listen to it, the more it grows on you; next thing you know you're listening to it often. This made Mikey happy too. I like when he smiles. It makes me feel better.

As I was looking carefully at the pictures, reading the small dialouge, there was a knock at the door. At first I figured I wouldn't answer it because it was probably someone for Mikey but then I thought that would be rude to let them stand at the door for awhile. Plus, they probably heard the music so they knew someone was home. I got up from the table and opened the door, shocked at who was there. "F-Frank?"

"Y-you remember me?" He asked, a sad happiness in his eyes. They were really pretty. His eyes were a greenish brown color and really sparkly.

"No." I said, looking at him. His happiness died and I felt bad again. "I-I've been told about you."

"Oh." Frank had a little hostility in his voice and I was confused. Wasn't he my enemy? Why was he here?

"D-did you want something?" I asked, trying to figure out why he was here. "Mikey's out."

"I came to see you." Frank said, sticking his hands in the front pocket of the black hoodie he wore. It read 'Misfits' and I smiled because he liked them too. "Just wanted to see how you were doing." His voice was quiet and sad. I didn't know why he was sad.

"W-why?" Confusion was quickly taking me.

"Once upon a time you were my best friend." Frank said, pain in his voice now along with sadness. Now I was really confused. Mikey told me that we hated Frank. Frank broke up the band. He didn't seem mad at us though; well not me at least. "Sorry to have bothered you." He said quietly, turning to leave.

"Wait." I said and he turned back to me with confusion. "Y-you want to come in?" I asked. He didn't seem as bad as Mikey kept trying to make him out to me. Was Mikey lying?

"Nah, it's ok Gee." My mind suddenly snapped back to my dream.

"Well I love you Gee with all my heart and I'll do anything to be with you."

"A-are you ok?" I opened my eyes to see Frank staring at me with worry. I knew that look well. I've been getting a lot of it since I woke up in the hospital.

"What?" I asked. I didn't know what he was talking about.

"You suddenly spaced out for a moment." Frank said, looking me over with concern. "You want me to call Mikey?"

"Frank, what happened between everyone?" I suddenly asked him. I had this feeling in my gut that told me Mikey was lying to me. I felt bad. He seemed so sweet to me but I think he was lying.

"That's not for me to tell you." Frank said in a quiet, pained voice. I didn't understand. He knew something but wouldn't tell me. Wasn't everyone trying to get me to remember? He seemed like he wanted me to forget; which I did. It was Frank didn't want me to remember.

"Why did Mikey tell me we didn't like you?" I asked and there was sorrow in his eyes again but a small smile on his face. He confused me a lot. There was no way to tell what he felt. His eyes said one thing but his body said another.

"Mikey's trying to protect you." Frank said softly and before I had time to say anything else, Frank turned and walked away; rather quickly. Confused more than ever, I shut the door and slowly went back to the table. I turned the cd off and shut the comic. What did Frank mean by saying Mikey was trying to protect me? Was Frank bad? Did he hurt me?

Did something happen between us?

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A/N--- OMG. GEE HAD MEMORY!

yay! The way this is getting written is confusing. It's first person; but it's a mix of their thoughts as well as their actions. Hope it sounds ok.

xoxo Tabi