Categories > Original > Humor > The Tummy Wars Series

Tummy Wars pt. 2

by Cereal_junkie 0 reviews

Part two of my skits...will these never end?!? jk

Category: Humor - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Fantasy,Humor - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2008-12-21 - Updated: 2008-12-21 - 1245 words

Tummy Wars pt. 2

Goku walks on stage with a mic in hand and waves to the audience and camera

Goku: Hey, everybody, it's me, The great Son Goku! And you are watching... "Yaoi That Bitch!"!

Goku: So, on the previous episode, as you all may know, our guest was Light-san from the AWESOME anime, Deathnote. Where he admitted his love for Ryuzaki. laughs Yes, that was a great episode.

Light wanders on to the stage

Light: Where the hell am I? The last thing I know, some blonde guy was telling me I won the sweepstakes for something and now I'm here! And why does my butt hurt?!?

Goku: Oh, Light, what a pleasant surprise! What brings you here?

Light: ...What the fuck is wrong with you?

Goku: Fish?

Vegeta decends slowly from the sky

Vegeta: What the hell, Kakarot?!? We were supposed to have our match an hour ago! Where have you been?!?

Goku: Abducting pigs.

Light: Pigs? Why the hell am I even on this damn show?

Vegeta: Well....I do like ham..

Goku: I prefer meat myself.


Goku: Why do you keep talking about fish?

Vegeta: Kakarot, he wasn't talking about fish! He was talking about prestidigitation!

Goku: Light! You're a pedo?


Vegeta: Oh....I thought it meant sex...

Light: Why are you even here?!? Hell, WHY AM I HERE?!?

Light tries to walk off stage but gets hit in the face by a poop block

Light: AGH!!!! UGH!!! EWWWW!!! OH MY GOD!!! AGH!!!! runs around mindlessly on stage

Vegeta: This show's been going downhill ever since we put Kakorot in charge. I have to take control of the situation.

Goku: Don't worry, Vegeta, I'm on it! starts taking off his clothes

Vegeta: Kakarot! What are you doing?!?

Goku: Naked ballet, of course!

Vegeta:girly gasp I LOVE NAKED BALLET!!

Goku: What?

Vegeta: Erh...I mean...Knock it off! You are disturbing the audience!

Ryuzaki appears on stage from the shadows of the Audience

Ryuzaki: I come for your soul...

Goku: Are you my consience?


Goku: Oh my god! Hi, Consience!

Ryuzaki: ...Hi.

Vegeta: Kakarot, he isn't your consience.

Light: Ryuazaki....looks at himself You mustn't see me like this! runs off stage crying

Ryzaki: Looks on after him There's a 75% chance that he looks good in a skirt...we shall see...

Goku: Vegeta wore a skirt before!

Vegeta: NO I DIDN'T!! whacks Goku across the back of the head

Ryuzaki: You're lying points at Vegeta

Vegeta: How dare you question me?! forms a ki blast in hand I'll kill you!!!

Autumn and Arica appear to protect Ryuzaki

Autumn and Arica: jumps in front of Ryuzaki Don't you lay a hand on his beautiful, hot bod you hairy ape!

Vegeta: ...Ugh... not you two again...

Autumn: sniffs OhmygodIsmellpancakes!

Goku: Is that a brand of fish?

Vegeta: Fish is not a BRAND, Kakarot.

Goku: Agh, but only my butt knows the truth.

Vegeta: Wha-What!!??

Arica: Teehee, hot monkey sex... drool

Goku: pulls down pants and underwear revealing his butt

Vegeta: Ka-Ka-Ka-Ka...

Goku's butt: No! My name is....Anna.

Autumn: Hi, Anna!

Anna: Silence you! Only I, the great Anna know the truth!

Ryuzaki: I know you're a butt...

Anna: Yes, I am a butt, a powerful butt, in fact, I'm such a powerful butt.. I can do....THIS! farts at audience and they disintagrate

Vegeta: Holy shit!

Ryuzaki: More like holy ass.

Anna: Yes, I am all holy and powerful! I am a God!

Light: I AM A GOD!

Anna: Shut up, you! zaps Light with streaming gas

Light: AGH! My eyes! runs into a wall

Anna: Agh, yes turns towards Vegeta This is exactly why you will never be on top! I will not have your manly jewels choking me!

Vegeta: blushes

Autumn and Arica: So you two DO have hot monkey sex!

Vegeta: kicks Anna Shutupshutupshutupshutup!

Anna: Owwy!

Ryuzaki: says something extremely smart but nobody really cares to understand

Light: thinks to himself I should just kill all these idiots right now, but I can't take a chance on L finding out that I'm Kira.

Anna: What is he rambling on about?

Vegeta: Only you know the truth.

Anna: Honest game.

Arica: Ryuzaki...who's prettier? Me or...Autumn?

Autumn: Hey!

Ryuzaki: I'd rather not say.

Arica: Oh, why not. If it's me I won't tell Autumn.. bats eyelashes flirtatiously

Ryuzaki: Well, if I told you it'd mean I'd be choosing your side, then Autumn is on her own side. And once you divide three by the quotient of pi the square root is automatically canceled. Therefore it is 50% of my own will choosing... elephant can crush a semitruck if stampdeing mindlessly in rage through Chicago?

Ryuzaki: Exactly.

Arica: I knew it! Thanks for your help, Ryuzaki! begins to walk away HEY!! WAIT A MINUTE!

Anna: Well, I guess it's about time I have left you all. I bid a farewell on my naked step sister's behalf of being eaten by a giraffe.

Vegeta: oh, Anna, I feel as if I have known you my whole life. Why must you leave now?

Anna: You have known me your whole life. a tube of poop stretchs out of Anna's mouth and touches Vegeta's chest Right here. In your heart.

Vegeta: Oh, Anna. takes the strand of poop into his hands and embraces Anna

Anna: I shall always remember you, Vegeta.

Vegeta: begins to cry And I shall never forget of you, Anna. leans over and kisses Anna

Goku: Uhm...Vegeta...Why are you kissing my butt?

Vegeta: yanks away Uhm...I....Ugh...Cookie? holds out a tray of cookies

Ryuzaki: Leaps onto the tray of cookies MINE!

Goku: What was the question again? Ooooooooo...Cookies! Leaps onto the tray and pushes Ryuzaki away

Ryzaki: Tears up But...but...I want some cookies too!

Autumn and Arica: Awwwwwwwwwwww!

Goku: Mfmf mmmfumf fumf? Wf wfa af tf abf tf?Swallows the tray after chewing it, cookies and all

Everyone else: Huh?

Goku: I said, There were cookies here? Why didn't anyone tell me about this?

Light: Are you serious? You just ate them!

Autumn: I shall marry Ryzaki!

Arica: What?!? No way!

Ryzaki: M-marry?!? Huh? Backs away and bumps into Light

Light: Thinks No one will marry my Ryuzaki!

Autumn: Walks up to Light and waves her hands in front of his face I can read your mind!

Light: Huh?...

Ryuzaki: accidentally thinks out loud Yes, he would look good in a skirt...maybe I'll buy one for him later and we can "break it in".

Light: What?!?

Ryuzaki: Huh?

Light: A...skirt? What do you mean by break it in?

Ryzaki: Blushes Oh, ummm...did I say that out loud?

Autumn and Arica: Oooooooooo! Hot yaoi sex! Hot yaoi sex!

Light: Ha! See! You will not marry him! He's mine, and you shall not have him.

Autumn: There is a 50, 000,000,000 % chance that I'll have him, damn it!

Arica: Covers her face with her hand Autumn, quit trying to sound isn't working. You sound like an idiot and you're a disgrace to yaoi lovers everywhere!

Autumn: Gasps and looks appalled I sound like an idiot?!? I am an idiot! I'm president of the idiots of the month club!

Goku: Well, that's it for today's show! See you next time on "Yaoi that bitch!"

Autumn: I didn't even get to do my news broadcast...

The End (For now)
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