FicWad

Ch.7---- The Best Of Us Can Find Happiness In Misery ((I Don't Care Fall Out Boy))

Frank's POV

"You sure you're ok?" Ray asked, sitting on the edge of my bed next to me.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well you've been lying on your bed with your knees to your chest, staring at a wall, since we've gotten back; which was like five hours ago." Ray told me with concern.

"Oh." I mumbled, still staring at the wall. I couldn't stop thinking about Gerard, no matter how much I didn't want to. When he started asking me about our relationship, I kept re-playing the fight Gerard and I had the night I left. It became unbearable and I started to cry. Gerard then got up and hugged me; suddenly remembering the night he gave me the hoodie. At that point, I wanted to throw myself around Gerard and make everything right again; especially when he apologized for what happened. Even though I know he didn't know what he was apologizing for, I wanted to reclaim him as mine just for uttering the words 'I'm sorry'. That's why I had to leave. I had to make sure I didn't fuck everything up.

"You need to eat something." Ray's voice snapped me back to reality. "You haven't eaten in a few days and you're only going to get sick."

"I'll eat...eventually." I said, making myself comfortable on my bed again.

"No, you'll eat soon." I hated how Ray had to take care of us constantly. I mean sure, we would all be in a hell of a lot worse shape if he didn't but it still got annoying. "I'm going to tell everyone to come here for dinner and hang out; like we used to."

"Can it just be Bob?" I asked a little pleadingly.

"No, it's going to be Bob, Mikey, and Gerard. We're re-building our lives, remember?" Ray got off the bed then pulled the blanket up further on me. "Now get some sleep. I'll wake you in a few hours." Ray smiled then walked to the door, turning off the light and shutting the door gently behind him.

I assume its eleven or so in the morning because my room is fairly bright. Normally I would require absolute darkness if I wanted to sleep, but I was pretty worn out and as soon as I shut my eyes, I was out.

It was warped tour and we just finished a show. I grabbed a bottle of water to calm myself down, hanging with the guys. Well everyone but Gerard. We all know where he was; kinda. "This tour is really fucking fun." Ray said, sitting on an amp on the cleared stage. The performance space was cleared out but bands were allowed to chill on the stage for a bit longer if they wanted.

"It's alright." I mumbled, drinking half the bottle of water.

"You're just jealous." Mikey said, leaning against a pillar that helped support the stage as he smoked.

"Jealous of what?" I asked harshly, sitting by the amp that Ray was on.

"That my brother is spending all his time with Bert." Mikey said, whispy streams of smoke escaping his mouth.

"Ah yes; Mc-Crack Head." I said, my voice woven with sarcasm. "Well it is nice to see my boyfriend occasionally off stage sometimes too."

"See? Jealous." Mikey said with a dignified smile; flicking the cigarette to the ground.

"Guys, stay civil." Bob said, climbing the stairs with his own water. "Gee and Bert are on the Used bus."

"Got some more competition now." Mikey said to me with sarcastic amusement. Bob flipped Mikey off as he walked to the amp and sat by Ray. "Gerard wouldn't cheat on you." Mikey said, trying to sound like he cared. Ever since we learned about Bert McCracken, Mikey has acted hostile towards me because I would comment about Bert's drug use and how I was worried about Gerard being around him. "He's fucking crazy about you."

"Look, I'm not jealous. I know he won't cheat on me." I snapped at Mikey. "I'm just afraid of what he's doing because we all know that Bert isn't a very clean guy."

"In more ways than one." Ray mumbled and all of us, except Mikey, laughed a little.

"Gerard knows better than to do drugs so fuck off Iero!"

"Stop making your brother out to be a fucking saint!" I fired right back at him. "I happen to know when he's doing stupid shit."

"I highly doubt that." Mikey was becoming bitter and cold.

"Guys; enough!" Ray suddenly warned as I opened my mouth to yell back at Mikey. "Mikey, leave Frank alone for five fucking minutes; he cares about Gerard as much as the rest of us. Frank, trust Gerard for once." He always tried to keep the tension down when it accumulated. "Go find Gerard and see if he wants to come with us to get something to eat." Ray pushed me a little with his foot so I stood and brushed myself off.

"And if he's busy getting wasted?" I asked, dropping the remains of my water.

"Stop blaming him for your relationship problems!" Mikey suddenly burst. First, I don't blame Gerard for anything. Second, we're not having relationship problems. Ok, so things aren't exactly as wonderful as they used to be. Yeah, I'll admit I'm crying a bit more than I used to. But we're becoming a band; becoming popular and famous. Things are bound to change.

"Mikey, sit down and shut the fuck up!" Bob yelled at him. "Frank, go find Gerard and shut your fucking mouth as well!" Bob is like the Ray-in-training; he helps balance us when things get out of hand. I walked towards the stairs, ignoring Mikey's death glare as I headed for the Used bus.

"Heyyyy!" Quinn called to me as I approached. He was propped against their tour bus, beer clasped tightly in his hand.

"Quinn, have you seen Gerard?" I asked as I got closer. He was smiling blankly; no doubt high.

"Him n Bert are on the bus." Quinn said, laughing for no reason. Definitely high.

"Thanks." I said, climbing the stairs to the bus. It smelt like weed and alcohol. Sure enough, Quinn was right. Bert and Gerard sat on a couch, laughing hysterically. There was empty beer cans surrounding them. My stomach knotted as I faked a smile and walked towards them.

"Frankie!" Gerard called out loudly. "Whayadoinhere?" His speech was quick and slurred so I knew he was drunk.

"We're going to get something to eat and I came to get you." Gerard reached out then pulled me into his lap, smiling away. He smelt strongly of alcohol.

"'m not hungry." He said, pressing his lips to mine. I couldn't help but wonder and worry about how many beers he had consumed already. I hated when he kissed me or did really anything intimate when he was wasted because it wasn't the real Gerard. I only wanted to be intimate with the clean, sober Gerard.

"Gee babe," I tried to remain calm because Gerard's mood easily changes when he's wasted, "you haven't eaten all day. You should really have some pizza or a sandwich or something."

"I said I'm not hungry!" Gerard's smile faded and his voice grew.

"I know but for your health-"

"Will you leave me the fuck alone?" I bit my tongue to keep myself from crying. This wasn't the first time he's said that to me but it still hurt. I just tell myself it's drugs and/or alcohol speaking but I know that isn't the full truth; Gerard's actually speaking to me too. "You're always fucking after me about something!" He pushed me off his lap and I hit my head on a small table as I fell. "Fuck; 'm sorry Frankie." Gerard's voice softened.

"It's ok Gee." I mumbled, rubbing my head and sitting up. Again, not a first.

"Are you ok?" Gerard asked as Bert started laughing again. Tears came to my eyes because it really hurt but I suppressed them for fear of what it might cause Gerard to do if he saw me crying. Gerard really does care about me; it's just his true feelings get blanketed by his unfortunate habits.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I told him as I stood. Gerard started laughing again but his eyes were sympathetic and sorry; almost as though he didn't want to be getting wasted but was afraid to tell Bert 'no'. I know, I make up a lot of excuses for him; I love him. "Sorry I upset you."

"'s ok." Gerard told me, standing as well.

"You don't have to eat anything if you're not hungry." I said as Gerard put his beer on the table then put his arms around my body.

"If you really want me to eat something, I will." He said.

"I'm not going to force you to eat."

"So now you want me to starve?" Gerard was becoming harsh again and he let go of me.

"Come if you want; but only if you want." Talking to wasted Gerard was a difficult, basically futile task. He looked at me, studying me for a moment, then picked up his beer and fell down by the still laughing Bert. "Fine." I said through a heavy sigh. "I'll see you whenever you come back." I headed for the stairs.

"Love you!" Gerard called through his laughter. I nodded and smiled, quickly getting off the bus and telling myself not to start crying as I went back to the stage.

"Hey; Frank." I opened my eyes and saw Ray. "You ok?"

"What?" I asked sleepily, yawning and sitting up.

"You're crying." He said right as I rubbed my eyes, covering them in warm salty tears.

"Oh." I mumbled, quickly drying my eyes.

"So are you ok?" Ray asked, concerned.

"Bad dream." I told him, blinking my eyes a bit. It was actually a bad memory but he didn't need to know that. "'m fine."

"You sure?" He asked and I nodded. "Ok...well everyone should be here in a half hour or so."

"What time is it?"

"Fourish." Ray replied, standing up. "So get up and get dressed."

"I am dressed." I replied, throwing the blanket back to uncover myself.

"Take that damn hoodie off."

"No." I replied harshly. "Gerard told me to keep it because I look good in it."

"Frank, you look at it and it falls apart." Ray said with aggravation. "It needs to be thrown out."

"The only way it gets in the trash is with me wearing it still." I told him as I got off the bed.

"Fine; whatever." Ray said, still aggravated. "Not to be mean, but you look like shit. Go clean yourself up."

"Love you too." I mumbled, walking past him and to the bathroom. When I looked in the mirror though I realized Ray was right. My eyes were puffy and bloodshot; not to mention heavy with exhaustion. My usually messy hair was a complete disaster and my gaunt cheeks made me realize just how much weight I've lost.

Shutting the bathroom door, I popped the mirror open to get to the medicine cabinet it hid. From the thin shelves I grabbed eye drops, some foundation (from when we toured; nothing wrong with guys wearing a little make up), eyeliner (so shut the fuck up), my toothbrush, toothpaste, and some energy pills. First, I brushed my teeth to get the stale taste out of my mouth. Next, I put some eye drops in to relieve the redness. After I ran some foundation (stop fucking laughing!) over my face to try and even my skin tone because my cheeks were slightly red plus my eyes were dark from exhaustion. Once that was done, I applied the eyeliner (nowhere near as much as I used to) and finally I took a few energy pills. To top my whole mess off, I ran the brush through my hair to untangle it then let the strands hang wherever they pleased. I still looked like hell but not as bad.

Satisfied, I put everything away then headed to the living room where Ray was playing some zombie game he must have rented when I was asleep. Yawning and stretching a bit, I fell into the chair next to the couch to watch him. "I haven't seen you in eyeliner since the band." Ray commented with amusement. "Trying to impress someone?"

"Haha." I said with sarcasm, sliding down into the chair and sticking my hands in the hoodie pocket (or what was left of it). "I was desperate to somewhat clean myself up. My eyes were bloodshot so I tried to fix 'em."

"Whatever." Amusement still drowned Ray's voice but I ignored him; mainly because I had nothing to throw. "You should have heard how happy Bob was when I asked him to hang out."

"Doesn't like being a daddy?"

"He loves Cassidy with all his soul. He just missed hanging out with us too." Ray replied, shooting zombies.

"So he has a daughter?" I asked. I hadn't spoken to Bob since Gerard's accident; and that was just to tell him what happened. Apparently Ray spoke to him often. They were like best friends anyway.

"Yep. She's almost a year old. Looks just like him."

"Poor kid." I said with an amused smile and Ray laughed. I have to admit, as much as I didn't want to face Gerard again so soon, I was looking forward to us all being together again. We used to hang out a lot. "Did he marry Cassidy's mom or what?"

"Nope. He gets Cassidy during the day while Amy, Cassidy's mom, is at work." Ray replied, still slaughtering the living dead.

"How do you know so much about his life?"

"I still talk to him probably every day." There was a little superiority in Ray's voice. "It's all of you that don't call him. That's one of the reasons he so happy to come see us all. He misses everyone."

"Why can't he call any of us?" I didn't mean to sound harsh.

"If you had an infant from a one night stand who was at the front of your mind, you wouldn't think of calling your friends either." Ray remained calm, knowing I didn't mean to be rude.

"Lucky for me, Jamia and I have gone out more than once." I said with a smile. It only felt like one time though because we always seemed to do the same thing; dinner and/or a movie. "And I haven't been in her pants." Ray laughed a little. "Yet."

"Just watch what you say in front of Bob." Ray said with stern warning when he stopped laughing. "It's a really tender subject for him because as much as he loves Cassidy, he wishes it never happened."

"'m not that inconsiderate." I rolled my eyes. "Bob's got guts. There's no way I would ever be able to handle an accidental child. Not with the live I lead."

"Same." Ray replied with a little shame. There was a knock at the door and Ray paused his game then stood up. "Be on your best behavior."

"Yes mother." I said sarcastically to him as he went to answer the door. A few moments later Mikey and Gerard came into the living room, Ray following then returning to his game.

"Hey." Mikey said to me. For once, he was actually being nice to me. He's got to be bipolar or something. He and Gerard sat down on either side of Ray who was in the middle.

"Welcome to my boring abode." I said with a smile and Mikey actually smiled back. I became worried and suspicious of what he was thinking.

"I like it." Gerard told me with a smile. I then knew it was going to be a very long night.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N---- I'm sure y'all know this, but I'll say it. I have no idea how Gee acted when he was drunk. For the purpose of my story, it's violent. Leave me the fuck alone about it. I don't force you to read so if you don't like it, stop now.

If you haven't noticed, all of Frank's memories are going to be of bad moments; Gerard's are of good. The purpose of this is so both of them end up healing each other.

on a lighter note, I LOVE RAINBOWS. I know that's random. but they're so puurrrrrdy!

I'm stuck on the song 'Golden' by FOB. I think it's really pretty. Right now, I'm listening to their new cd. It's interesting xD

so yeah; no more rambling. OH! Bob will be in the next chapter (beside through memory). xD I realized he's being neglected.

xoxo Tabi