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Ch.8----Thoughts I Can't Deny ((My Dirty Little Secret All-American Rejects))

Gee's POV

"Fuck; I died." Ray said with amused shame, setting the controller down and sliding himself from the edge of the chair so he was sitting properly on it now. "Who's next?"

"I'll try." Mikey said, taking the controller. He restarted the game and we all watched him wander through the deserted city as zombies attacked him.

"Anyone want anything?" Frank asked; awkwardness in his voice. Ray shook his head and Mikey gave a quick 'no' since his attention was currently on the game. "You?" Frank directed his attention to me.

"Uh...coffee?" I said and Frank smiled, standing and heading towards the kitchen to get me some. Figuring he would have to wait until it was done, I got off the couch and followed him; sitting at the table. "I like your house." That's seriously the best I could think of.

"Nothing special." Frank said as he loaded the coffee maker.

"It's still nice." I said, playing with my fingers. Fuck; I'm nervous. Why? I really have no need to be nervous. I mean, Frank said we were no longer dating. I shouldn't be nervous. But I am. As the coffee got ready, Frank came and sat opposite me at the table. "Y-you're not upset about this morning, are you?" I asked quietly; looking at the table instead of at Frank. His eyes would drown me.

"No." Frank said with a little confusion. "Why would I be?"

"I dunno." Convincing myself to look at Frank, his eyes were gently and comforting. Still, I saw hurt in them. Like soul shocking pain. I couldn't help but wonder what was bothering him. It wasn't, and still isn't, any of my business though. "It was pretty early."

"Well I went to bed when I got home." Frank said with a small shrug.

"I-I like your eyeliner." Honestly, I didn't want that to come out. But it did and there was no taking it back. "Really brings out your eyes." Ahh! What the fuck?!

"T-thanks." Frank's cheeks reddened and he looked to the table.

"You should wear it more." I think I'm possessed. My thoughts are bursting out my mouth; against my will. Well pretty much against my will. In a small way I didn't mind telling him.

"Y-you used to wear it too."

"Really?" That was a shocker. I felt my mouth pull into a smile and when Frank looked at me, he laughed. His laugh was as beautiful as his eyes. Like, it was perfect; heavenly. Words can't describe it. I loved it.

"Yeah." He said, still smiling.

"I don't believe I would look good in eyeliner." I told him, trying to imagine it. I really doubt I would look good in eyeliner. I don't like how I look to begin with.

"Well you could try." Frank suggested quietly.

"You mean like put some on?" He nodded. "Right now?" Frank nodded again. "I don't know how to do it..."

"I could, uh, do it for you."

"Seriously?" For some reason, there was great excitement in my voice. Why was I excited to have him put make up on me? Wasn't it for girls? Was it because Frank was doing it?

"Yeah. Would only take a few minutes." There was happiness in Frank's voice. I couldn't turn him down after that. I mean, I've only 'known' him for a day or two, but nowhere in that time did I sense real happiness like I did now.

"Then, uh, sure." I said with a smile; Frank returning it then getting up and wandering down a hall. A moment later he returned with a long black stick of eyeliner.

"Just try your best to keep from blinking." Frank said, standing next to me. I turned to face him and he gently tilted my head back. "Look up." He said so I did. My eyes seemed like they were trying to roll into the back of my head. A moment later I felt Frank press the tip of the liner to my bottom eye lid. I couldn't help it; my eye twitched. It felt really weird. Frank just laughed and waited for my eye to settle again. When Frank pushed my chin up a little more, I felt chills run down my spine; like my body had longed for his touch and was finally rewarded.

Frank did the bottom lid of my other eye, patiently waiting during my eye tweak-outs. "Ok, now shut your eyes." Again, I obeyed. This was a lot easier. It still felt weird but my eyes didn't glitch. "There." Frank said happily so I opened my eyes again. "Go to the bathroom and look." I got up then, with his guidance, I went into the bathroom.

"Fuck." I said with a smile. I actually didn't look all that bad (not conceeded).

"Told you." Frank said with a smile, standing against the opposite wall.

"You still look better." I told him, looking directly at him instead of at his reflection. He smiled awkwardly at me then looked to the ground. Did I really make him that uncomfortable?

"Well the coffee should be about ready." He said quietly; his smile gone. I nodded then as I went to leave, Frank went for the mirror/cabinet to put the eyeliner away. We accidently bumped into each other and again chills ran through my body. We stood still, staring each other down, for a few moments before I had enough of the uneasiness and left. I completely forgot about my coffee and went to the living room instead to join Ray and Mikey who was still kicking zombie ass.

"Holy fuck." Ray said with a smile.

"What?" I asked absently. Mikey paused the game and looked at me with shock. "What?!"

"You have eyeliner on..." Mikey replied, staring intensely at me.

"Oh." I replied with relief. I thought they knew something about me and Frank in the bathroom. But nothing happened. Except the chills. Why am I freaking out about it?

"Haven't seen you in eyeliner in years." Ray said with more amusement.

"Frank said I looked good in it." I mumbled and Mikey sighed, rolling his eyes.

"Of course he did." Mikey said as he turned and resumed his game. Ray suddenly smacked Mikey on the back of his head and I started to laugh. Mikey opened his mouth to yell at Ray when there was a knock on the door so Ray just smirked at Mikey then got up an answered it. Bob and Ray appeared a moment later. "Bob!" Mikey smiled, dropping the game controller and standing up; pulling Bob into a hug.

"Hey Mikey." Bob said as he hugged Mikey back. "Hey Gee." Ok, is it bad that I only want Frank to call me Gee? Like, I don't want to hear it from anyone else's mouth; it just doesn't sound the same. Well I don't think so but I'm not going to say anything.

"Sup Bob?" I asked, smiling as I stood; pushing Mikey out of my way to hug him. Yes, I've given up the whole 'Bobs a robot and/or pedophile' theory I previously had. I've concluded that he's just a quiet, secluded man who keeps to himself. Nothing wrong with that.

"Nothing much." Bob let go of me and looked at me merrily. "How you doin?"

"Still struggling with the whole memory problem." I said with a smile and Bob laughed slightly.

"Bob!" Frank suddenly appeared, hugging Bob as well. "Good to see you man!" He said into Bob's chest because Frank was just slightly shorter than the rest of us.

"You too Frank." Bob said. We all fell down again in the living room; Frank handing me a cup of coffee. He didn't say anything to me or even make eye contact. "So how is everyone?" Bob asked.

"Hanging in there." Ray said with a heavy sigh.

"Barely." Frank mumbled but I think I was the only one who heard him. When Mikey died, the controller was passed to Bob because I didn't know how to play and Frank just didn't want to. He still wouldn't make eye contact with me and yes, it was beginning to annoy me. I mean, what the fuck did I do to him? I let him put make up on me! Maybe he got chills like I did.

"Well now that everyone is here, I'm going to order pizza." Ray announced as he stood and dug his cellphone out of his pocket. He was on the phone for a few minutes then he put it away. "That's done."

"I think I'm going to lie down." Frank said, standing up. "My head really hurts."

"You're not getting out of eating." Ray said in a warning tone.

"Whatever." Frank said miserably as he walked out of the living room and towards the hall with the bathroom.

"What's wrong with him?" Bob asked.

"Lot on his mind." Ray replied with a sigh as he sat back down and rubbed that area between your nose and forehead.

"Like what?" Mikey asked with slight hostility. He's my brother and I'm thankful for everything he's been doing for me, but I was ready to punch him. He didn't have to be so rude about Frank.

"How the fuck am I supposed to know? I'm not a fucking mind reader!" Ray suddenly snapped at him.

"Can we please not yell?" I said with stress. "If he has a headache then he'll need quiet."

"Gerard's right." Bob said calmly but sternly. "We're here to have fun. I'm sure after a little rest, Frank will be the hyper, obnoxious person he usually is." Both Ray and Mikey looked to the ground with doubt. I was shocked because even though I didn't know him real long, Frank didn't seem like someone who would be obnoxious or hyper. He seemed lost in thought a lot. Without thinking, I stood and headed towards Frank's room to find him. I had to talk to him. I don't know why or about what, but I had to.

As I approached, I heard soft crying. I knocked on the door softly. "Frank?" I called through it. He didn't reply so I carefully opened the door then shut it behind me. Frank was on his bed, head buried in his pillow to try and silence himself. I could still hear him cry. "What's wrong?" I asked as I walked to the bed and sat next to him. "You can talk to me."

"No I can't!" He said into his pillow through his heavy sobs. "I can't let myself fall for you again!" The words stung a little; for whatever reason I wasn't sure of. We were over. We both must have wanted it. Still, it hurt. I just gently rubbed Frank's back as he cried; unsure of what else to do. He obviously needed comfort. "We've been over for at least a year! I have a girlfriend now!" That made me mad; kinda. What the fuck is wrong with me?! "Why can't I get over you?" Frank raised his head and looked at me. His eyes were red and puffy from crying.

"I-I don't know..." I mumbled because I honestly didn't. Yet I felt happy knowing he still wanted me. Do I still like him? Is that why being around him makes me happy and his touch sent chills through my body? "I-I think I like you."

"W-what?" Shock consumed Frank's voice yet joy was taking over his eyes.

"I-I think I like you." I repeated and Frank wiped his eyes, sitting up. "I'm really happy when I'm around you and I only like when you call me 'Gee'. I-I only have memories that involve you and I think about you a lot." Frank still just stared at me. "Earlier, when you touched me, chills ran through my body. It felt good though." I said quietly.

"I felt weird when I touched you." Frank said with a very slight smile. Awkward silence.

"So." I said to break it.

"So." He said back.

"What do we do now?" I asked awkwardly. In a sense, this was all new to me.

"I really have no idea." Frank replied shyly.

"Do you still want me?"

"Kinda obvious." Frank said, a small hint of laughter in his voice.

"Then kiss me." I said a little demandingly and Frank looked at me with shocked joy again.

"Y-you s-sure?"

"Will your girlfriend mind?"

"Will Mikey?"

"I don't know what the fuck his problem with you is, but I don't share those hostile feelings. I actually feel the opposite." I said and Frank smiled. After another moments silence, Frank scooted towards me then suddenly pressed his lips to mine. They were soft and sweet; and I loved them.

A moment later though, Frank pulled away and looked at the bed with embarrassment. "I'm sorry; we shouldn't ha-" Before he could finish his sentence, I pulled him back to me to kiss him again. I loved how it felt and there was no way I would be satisfied with a five second kiss. I put my arms around Frank's waist to pull him even closer and he put his arms around my neck.

Next thing I knew, Frank was on his back and our kissing became making out. His tongue was in my mouth and mine in his. I bit on his lip and little and holy fuck did it feel amazing. Withdrawing my arms from his body, I started weaving my fingers through his hair while his hands moved down to my lower back. I felt joy, lust, excitement, and of course slight confusion pump through my body. After a few moments though, I had to pull away to catch my breath since my heart started racing. "Wow..."

"Gee..." Frank said beneath me. "Maybe we're moving too fast..." I looked down at him. "You still don't remember a lot-"

"I don't need my memory to know that I loved what just happened." I said, softly kissing him again.

"Me too." He mumbled lustfully into my mouth as our kissing became slightly rough again. When my tongue was practically down his throat, I heard the door open and my stomach turned. Even without looking, I knew who was there.

"Oh..."

"My..."

"God..!" Mikey, Bob, and Ray all helped each other form a sentence out of the shock they were all sharing.

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A/N---- AND THE FERARDNESS BEGINS!

yay!

AND BOB! HE MADE IT INTO THE STORY!

xoxo Tabi