Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Rehabilitation
Thought I Would Forget; But I, I Remember
2 reviewsGerard and I both need a lot of healing; in one way or another. I mean, our previous relationship still left raw wounds on both of us; even if he didn't remember or realize them. They were there; l...
0Unrated
Ch.9--- Thought I Would Forget; But I, I Remember ((Fighter Christina Aguilera))
Frank's POV
You have no idea the amount of joy I experienced with Gerard on top of me, making out with me again. His lips; his touch; I haven't had them in probably two years. I had all but forgotten what they felt like; what he felt like. And yes, it was still amazing; perfect. Of course my bliss was ruined when Mikey, Bob, and Ray walked in. I mean, seriously, my bedroom door was shut. Knock. Gerard did before he walked in. Rude bastards.
The other really awkward occurrence beside them seeing us make out was it took a little effort on my behalf to get Gerard off me. Like he didn't even care that they were there. That also felt amazing. It was like the old Gerard; from years ago when we first met. He didn't give a fuck what people thought. He did what he wanted regardless of what others said or thought. If I didn't feel like I was going to throw up then I would have let us continue but my stomach was really wanting to come up.
"Well, this isn't exactly what we expected." Bob said quietly since no one was speaking. I knew my face was red with embarrassment so I looked at the bed because both Gerard and I were sitting now. Gerard was staring at Mikey; studying him. Mikey looked shocked but ready to kill someone. No doubt me. Ray was shocked but smiling. Then again, he's been telling me for the past day or so that Gerard and I still had the love. Did Gerard find it?
"You could have knocked." I mumbled to them, pulling on my fingers because I felt nervous and out of place for some reason. Imagine that; out of place in my own house; my own room!
"And miss this Kodak moment?" Mikey replied with heavy sarcasm. He crossed his arms and leaned against the doorway (I could still see them even if I wasn't directly looking).
"Mikey;" Gerard said sternly.
"Gerard." Mikey replied, still hostile and bitter. Is it bad that I just want to run him over with a truck or something? Probably; but I really do. I'm tired of him. He used to be my best friend; I want that Mikey. Instead I have this cold hearted bitter Mikey now. That's a fucking unfair trade if you ask me. Sweet for bitter. What did I do to piss God off? Never mind; there's a long ass list.
"Don't open your mouth again." Gerard said and I'll admit that shocked me. He was being stern and blunt like he used to. The old Gerard was subconsciously slipping back to him. As much as I loved that; it scared me. I didn't want him to remember the bad times; the times that keep dancing around in my thoughts and dreams. They would hurt him; I mean, they're killing me.
"Keep your mouth shut because you never know what will end up inside it." Mikey shot right back.
"Out!" I suddenly yelled at them. "All of you!" That last comment of Mikey's hurt. I have no idea what turned him into a jackass or why, but I couldn't stand him anymore. "Mikey; out of my house."
"Frank," Ray started in his 'peace' voice, "He didn't-"
"Yes he did." I looked at them now with cold yet hurt eyes. I knew they could see the pain, even if I tried to hide it. "We all know he did." I looked to Mikey. "So get the fuck out of my house."
"Fine." Mikey pushed off the doorway. "Are you coming or going back to tonsil hockey?" He asked Gerard coldly. Yeah; really wish I had a truck to run him over with.
"I don't want to be around you until you get the fuck over yourself." Gerard replied with no emotion and I nearly choked. Never, and I mean never had I heard him talk so harshly to his brother; and visa versa. The Way's were like best friends; they always got along. Bob shared my shock as his mouth was slightly open.
"Then good-bye big brother because as long as you're with him" Mikey gave me the death glare. "I'll have nothing to do with you." He pushed past Ray and Bob to the door. Seriously?! What the fuck did I do to him to deserve this shit treatment? I know Mikey doesn't like me as 'more than a friend' (really hate that expression) because I asked him out once before I went with Gerard. Mikey told me no. It wasn't a rude or hurtful no it was the fact that we were good friends and afraid we would ruin our friendship. Perfectly understandable. Then of course I started hanging out with Gerard more because Mikey started getting wrapped up in school (I didn't really give a fuck about school) and well, you know how that ended up; the best and worst years of my life.
"Don't fucking show your face here again until you can act civil towards Frank!" Gerard yelled after him. We heard the front door slam shut and we all just sat in shocked silence for a few moments. "Well what do we do now?" Gerard asked quietly. I could tell there was hurt, maybe even regret, in his voice. Of course though; Mikey was his brother. If his old life, old personality, was slipping back to him, he would surely remember how close he and Mikey were.
"Food should be here in a few minutes." Ray said, looking sternly to me as he spoke. So I haven't eaten in probably five days. I'm kind of used to it. "There's movies and video games."
"Or the bedroom." Bob replied with an amused smile. I felt like crying. I have no idea why. I've become like really fucking emotional lately. "You know Ray and I have no problem with it." He said a little softer and truthfully. I've always known that. Mikey never had a problem with it either until just recently.
"I think it's good for both of you." Ray said.
"Thanks for the blessing." I replied a little coldly, looking back to the bed. "Just; leave me alone for a few minutes please." It took them a moment but all three left. Gerard assumed I meant him but honestly, I didn't care if he stayed. I just needed a few minutes to sort out my thoughts; my feelings. My head was spinning and like I said, felt like crying again. My eyes still stung from when I was crying before Gerard came in.
When my door was shut again, I sighed heavily and fell backwards so I was staring at the ceiling. Fortunately, my nausea was dying down. Maybe knowing that I didn't make a complete mistake with kissing him eased my stomach. Something about hearing them say they didn't mind, even though I already knew it, made me feel better. Ray even said it was good for us. Maybe it was. Gerard and I both need a lot of healing; in one way or another. I mean, our previous relationship still left raw wounds on both of us; even if he didn't remember or realize them. They were there; like they were for me.
I mean, the physical damage has long since healed. The emotional and mental damage though is still there; still strong and fresh. People would tell me I suffered from 'beaten housewife syndrome'; meaning that when Gerard was drunk I would get hurt, often, but I wouldn't ever leave him. I would continuously take it. No, there is nothing wrong with telling myself he didn't mean it. I knew he didn't. How? Because before the alcohol, before the drugs, and before the Bert, Gerard was the sweetest person ever. He could always make me happy and we had a lot of fun together. We hung out a lot and did stuff together all the time. I mean, even when we were dating, we still did everything best friends did. He wasn't just my lover; he was my best friend. That's why our relationship worked so well the first few years; we were as much friends as we were lovers.
Yes, I'll even admit I would love to kill Bert. He took it all from me; he stole my Gerard. He stole Gerard and replaced him with a drug-loving alcoholic that would throw things at me when I tried to get him to sleep or eat. The worst pain wasn't getting hit or even by seeing Gerard like that; the worst pain was that no one believed me. No one would help me. They just watched Gerard destroy himself; destroy me. All they did was tell me to leave him; but I couldn't. He needed someone there; someone that wouldn't give up on him. I could see it in his eyes. He was afraid and had given up hope; there was no way I could leave him. I did, and still do, love him. He became part of my heart and without it there I would die.
With a few stray tears and a deep breath, I turned onto my side and rested my head on my pillow. I had no interest to be out there with them at the moment. I mean, Ray would come hunt me down to eat something when the pizza came anyway. For now, I would stay in my room; my sanctuary. I would just lie here and think about Gerard; my Gerard. The only thing I was afraid of was falling asleep; falling asleep would bring another painful memory that I didn't really want to deal with. Especially not with Gerard in my living room. I mean, last time Ray woke me up because I was crying. Well he said I was crying; I don't know if that's why he woke me. I couldn't cry in front of Gerard; again. So I just shut my eyes and focused heavily on what occurred on my bed minutes ago.
"Frank?" Gerard asked nervously as we watched the movie. My eyes were focused on the screen, watching guts and blood fly everywhere. Nothing beats a good horror gore movie.
"Yeah Gee?" I asked with a smile as I looked to him. I have no idea why I was so happy. But all day I've been like this. I've had a smile plastered on my face and I've laughed at absolutely nothing a good amount as well. Maybe I was high.
"C-can I talk to you?" He asked, still really nervous. I was starting to become afraid of what he was going to say to me. I mean, he's my best friend. When they get all nervous or afraid to talk of something it's usually unpleasant.
"Sure." I said, my smile fading a little but I kept it there so I wouldn't freak him out. I searched his bed for the remote to pause the movie because the bed was more comfortable then the couch. I was lying down on my stomach and watching the movie while he sat, I think with his sketchbook, towards the top of his bed.
"It's kinda hard for me to say..." Gerard said and I suddenly felt this heavy feeling like something bad was going to come out of his mouth. Something hard for Gerard to say? Yeah, that means something bad. The guy is like always flapping his mouth. I sat up to face him now. "We've been friends for what, a year now?" Yep; really freaking out now. Was it something to do with Mikey? I mean, I was his friend first but that shouldn't matter should it?
"Gerard, you're scaring me." I told him quietly.
"What? Oh, sorry." Gerard said, looking me in the eyes now. "It's not bad." The heavy feeling magically disappeared and though I didn't notice it at first, breathing became a lot easier. "At least I don't think so..."
"Can you just tell me?" I pleaded because I hate when people drag things out. It makes me nervous and it's like I just want to shake them violently until they spit it out. Ok, maybe I have a few mental unbalances. But we all do. And you have to admit, you've thought of something along those lines at least one time in your life. Don't lie. Santa knows.
"I-I..." Gerard took a deep breath and shut his eyes, "Ilikeyouasmorethanafriend." Yeah, didn't quite comprehend that.
"Um...didn't really get that. You wanna slow it down?" I asked with a smile.
"I like you as more than a friend." He repeated, still quick but I got it that time. Then I was hit (seriously I felt like I was literally hit) with shock. "I'm sorry." Gerard said, noticing my shock. "I shouldn't have said anything." He mumbled. He looked like he wanted to cry. "I hope this doesn't ruin our frien-" Having enough of his blabbering, I suddenly found myself forcing my lips against his. I mean, I've liked him that way since the day I met him. I just figured he didn't feel the same way so, no matter how hard it's been, I've suppressed those feelings so our friendship wouldn't become awkward and ruined. But now he's telling me he feels the same way? Hell yeah I'm going to take advantage of it! "Frank...?" He mumbled into my mouth.
"Yeah?" I asked without another thought as I pulled away from him.
"Y-you just kissed me..." He said quietly, looking at me with confusion.
"What?" My mind was off fishing or something because I was unable to think really at all. "Oh." Mind came back. "Yeah, I did."
"W-why?"
"You said you liked me." I replied with a shrug. I saw nothing wrong with the situation.
"Y-yeah but that didn't mean you had to kiss me." Gerard seemed really confused and I was trying not to laugh.
"Did you not like it?" I asked, slightly confused myself to be honest.
"I loved it." He said with a small smile. "But I don't want you to do anything that you're not comfortable with..."
"Gee, I've had those feelings for you since I met you. I just figured you didn't like me." I told him, smiling a little. He started laughing, his head hitting his wall. "What?"
"We've been avoiding what could be the best relationship ever for the past year because neither of us opened our fucking mouths." Gerard replied through his laughter and I couldn't help but join in. Seriously, it was hilarious. I've liked him and he's liked me; yet neither of us brought up the subject for fear of destroying our friendship. Though I'm kind of glad we didn't. Now I feel like nothing was rushed and I've gotten to know him really well over the past year.
"Well now we know." I said as I calmed myself down. Maybe this overly happy feeling I've had all day was foreshadowing this very moment. I mean, if there is a God, he or she must like me a little bit. That's always a plus, right?
"So..." Gerard calmed down and looked to me, "what do we do now?"
"Hmm..." I smiled at him then climbed into his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck and sitting on him with my knees on either side of him. "This." I told him before putting my lips back to his. After a few kisses, his arms went around my body, pulling me as close to him as he could, then his tongue ended up inside my mouth. My heart began to beat faster and I had this over powering feeling of excitement. This (and more) has only ever happened in my dreams. To have it happen for real was overwhelming; wonderful.
"Are you my boyfriend now?" Gerard asked a little shyly when we broke.
"No." I said and he looked at me with confusion and a little hurt. I just smiled widely. "I'm your lover."
"Frankie?" I opened my eyes and saw Gerard looking at me inquisitively. "Pizza's here. Ray says get your ass out there and eat before he breaks you in half." Gerard recited with a smile.
"Ok." I said, sitting up.
"You seem awfully happy now." Gerard said as he stared at me. He was studying me now. That's his new thing I've noticed; he studies people. I guess it's his best way of getting to know them; know their feelings and their thoughts. "Did you have a good dream?"
"The best I've had in a long time." I told him, yawning a little then swung my feet over the edge of the bed.
"About what?" Gerard asked like a teenage girl and somehow my smile grew. I was trying not to laugh. He sat down next to me, waiting for my reply.
"The first time I kissed you." I said. "When we were in your room and decided to go out."
"And you told me you were my lover, not my boyfriend." Gerard said with a smile and the shock came back. I've been getting that a lot today.
"Y-you remember that?"
"Yeah; I remembered while Mikey's mouth was running." There was a little pain in Gerard's voice. "I have no idea why he hates you so much."
"Honestly, neither do I." I said with a little pain myself. "We used to be best friends but for the past few years he's become bitter and hostile." Gerard's eyes were pained so I put my arms around him and rested my head on his shoulder. God this felt good too; just holding him. I've missed that as much as I have kissing him. For the sake of my mentality and pants, we won't go any farther as to what else I've missed.
"Are we going out again now?" He asked quietly but a little nervously.
"Do you want to?" I asked.
"I'm not sure." Gerard replied but it was very hesitant, like he was thinking twice about it, so I wasn't too upset. Of course I was a little upset because he was right next to me, in my arms, after making out with me probably ten or twenty minutes ago, and I wanted him to be mine again. "I mean, I want to, but I feel so weird."
"Why don't you sleep on it?" I suggested and Gerard looked to me, smiling with hope.
"Yeah; if you don't mind." He said.
"Take as much time as you want." I said with a smile, kissing his head then letting go of him. "Now, let's go eat because I really don't want to be broken in half." I told him as I stood up and Gerard laughed. "You have no idea how good it feels to see you smile and laugh again." I said as we headed to my door.
"Did I hurt you?" Gerard suddenly asked so I stopped walking, took a deep breath, and turned to him.
"What's done is done; the past's the past." Gerard looked painfully at me, knowing what I meant. I just smiled at him and took his hands, looking into his sad eyes with happiness because I was really fucking happy. "The only thing we can change is the future."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N--- don't be all like 'awww! they're together!' cuz there's still a lot of shit this story needs to deal with. Such as: Mikey. What the fuck is his problem? I know ^^
and Bert. He's got to be settled. Then there's Bob with his baby and Ray with the drugs.
lastly, there's Gerard. His memory is coming back; that means the bad is going to start coming back. Frank, who remembers it all quite vividly, will have to help Gerard cope with those bad memories; hoping he won't get hurt again. -wink-
so stay tuned for more ^^ I'm leaving Tuesday for a few days so I'll write a lot for all my stories. I'll try to get another chapter or two up for this before I leave though.
xoxo Tabi
Frank's POV
You have no idea the amount of joy I experienced with Gerard on top of me, making out with me again. His lips; his touch; I haven't had them in probably two years. I had all but forgotten what they felt like; what he felt like. And yes, it was still amazing; perfect. Of course my bliss was ruined when Mikey, Bob, and Ray walked in. I mean, seriously, my bedroom door was shut. Knock. Gerard did before he walked in. Rude bastards.
The other really awkward occurrence beside them seeing us make out was it took a little effort on my behalf to get Gerard off me. Like he didn't even care that they were there. That also felt amazing. It was like the old Gerard; from years ago when we first met. He didn't give a fuck what people thought. He did what he wanted regardless of what others said or thought. If I didn't feel like I was going to throw up then I would have let us continue but my stomach was really wanting to come up.
"Well, this isn't exactly what we expected." Bob said quietly since no one was speaking. I knew my face was red with embarrassment so I looked at the bed because both Gerard and I were sitting now. Gerard was staring at Mikey; studying him. Mikey looked shocked but ready to kill someone. No doubt me. Ray was shocked but smiling. Then again, he's been telling me for the past day or so that Gerard and I still had the love. Did Gerard find it?
"You could have knocked." I mumbled to them, pulling on my fingers because I felt nervous and out of place for some reason. Imagine that; out of place in my own house; my own room!
"And miss this Kodak moment?" Mikey replied with heavy sarcasm. He crossed his arms and leaned against the doorway (I could still see them even if I wasn't directly looking).
"Mikey;" Gerard said sternly.
"Gerard." Mikey replied, still hostile and bitter. Is it bad that I just want to run him over with a truck or something? Probably; but I really do. I'm tired of him. He used to be my best friend; I want that Mikey. Instead I have this cold hearted bitter Mikey now. That's a fucking unfair trade if you ask me. Sweet for bitter. What did I do to piss God off? Never mind; there's a long ass list.
"Don't open your mouth again." Gerard said and I'll admit that shocked me. He was being stern and blunt like he used to. The old Gerard was subconsciously slipping back to him. As much as I loved that; it scared me. I didn't want him to remember the bad times; the times that keep dancing around in my thoughts and dreams. They would hurt him; I mean, they're killing me.
"Keep your mouth shut because you never know what will end up inside it." Mikey shot right back.
"Out!" I suddenly yelled at them. "All of you!" That last comment of Mikey's hurt. I have no idea what turned him into a jackass or why, but I couldn't stand him anymore. "Mikey; out of my house."
"Frank," Ray started in his 'peace' voice, "He didn't-"
"Yes he did." I looked at them now with cold yet hurt eyes. I knew they could see the pain, even if I tried to hide it. "We all know he did." I looked to Mikey. "So get the fuck out of my house."
"Fine." Mikey pushed off the doorway. "Are you coming or going back to tonsil hockey?" He asked Gerard coldly. Yeah; really wish I had a truck to run him over with.
"I don't want to be around you until you get the fuck over yourself." Gerard replied with no emotion and I nearly choked. Never, and I mean never had I heard him talk so harshly to his brother; and visa versa. The Way's were like best friends; they always got along. Bob shared my shock as his mouth was slightly open.
"Then good-bye big brother because as long as you're with him" Mikey gave me the death glare. "I'll have nothing to do with you." He pushed past Ray and Bob to the door. Seriously?! What the fuck did I do to him to deserve this shit treatment? I know Mikey doesn't like me as 'more than a friend' (really hate that expression) because I asked him out once before I went with Gerard. Mikey told me no. It wasn't a rude or hurtful no it was the fact that we were good friends and afraid we would ruin our friendship. Perfectly understandable. Then of course I started hanging out with Gerard more because Mikey started getting wrapped up in school (I didn't really give a fuck about school) and well, you know how that ended up; the best and worst years of my life.
"Don't fucking show your face here again until you can act civil towards Frank!" Gerard yelled after him. We heard the front door slam shut and we all just sat in shocked silence for a few moments. "Well what do we do now?" Gerard asked quietly. I could tell there was hurt, maybe even regret, in his voice. Of course though; Mikey was his brother. If his old life, old personality, was slipping back to him, he would surely remember how close he and Mikey were.
"Food should be here in a few minutes." Ray said, looking sternly to me as he spoke. So I haven't eaten in probably five days. I'm kind of used to it. "There's movies and video games."
"Or the bedroom." Bob replied with an amused smile. I felt like crying. I have no idea why. I've become like really fucking emotional lately. "You know Ray and I have no problem with it." He said a little softer and truthfully. I've always known that. Mikey never had a problem with it either until just recently.
"I think it's good for both of you." Ray said.
"Thanks for the blessing." I replied a little coldly, looking back to the bed. "Just; leave me alone for a few minutes please." It took them a moment but all three left. Gerard assumed I meant him but honestly, I didn't care if he stayed. I just needed a few minutes to sort out my thoughts; my feelings. My head was spinning and like I said, felt like crying again. My eyes still stung from when I was crying before Gerard came in.
When my door was shut again, I sighed heavily and fell backwards so I was staring at the ceiling. Fortunately, my nausea was dying down. Maybe knowing that I didn't make a complete mistake with kissing him eased my stomach. Something about hearing them say they didn't mind, even though I already knew it, made me feel better. Ray even said it was good for us. Maybe it was. Gerard and I both need a lot of healing; in one way or another. I mean, our previous relationship still left raw wounds on both of us; even if he didn't remember or realize them. They were there; like they were for me.
I mean, the physical damage has long since healed. The emotional and mental damage though is still there; still strong and fresh. People would tell me I suffered from 'beaten housewife syndrome'; meaning that when Gerard was drunk I would get hurt, often, but I wouldn't ever leave him. I would continuously take it. No, there is nothing wrong with telling myself he didn't mean it. I knew he didn't. How? Because before the alcohol, before the drugs, and before the Bert, Gerard was the sweetest person ever. He could always make me happy and we had a lot of fun together. We hung out a lot and did stuff together all the time. I mean, even when we were dating, we still did everything best friends did. He wasn't just my lover; he was my best friend. That's why our relationship worked so well the first few years; we were as much friends as we were lovers.
Yes, I'll even admit I would love to kill Bert. He took it all from me; he stole my Gerard. He stole Gerard and replaced him with a drug-loving alcoholic that would throw things at me when I tried to get him to sleep or eat. The worst pain wasn't getting hit or even by seeing Gerard like that; the worst pain was that no one believed me. No one would help me. They just watched Gerard destroy himself; destroy me. All they did was tell me to leave him; but I couldn't. He needed someone there; someone that wouldn't give up on him. I could see it in his eyes. He was afraid and had given up hope; there was no way I could leave him. I did, and still do, love him. He became part of my heart and without it there I would die.
With a few stray tears and a deep breath, I turned onto my side and rested my head on my pillow. I had no interest to be out there with them at the moment. I mean, Ray would come hunt me down to eat something when the pizza came anyway. For now, I would stay in my room; my sanctuary. I would just lie here and think about Gerard; my Gerard. The only thing I was afraid of was falling asleep; falling asleep would bring another painful memory that I didn't really want to deal with. Especially not with Gerard in my living room. I mean, last time Ray woke me up because I was crying. Well he said I was crying; I don't know if that's why he woke me. I couldn't cry in front of Gerard; again. So I just shut my eyes and focused heavily on what occurred on my bed minutes ago.
"Frank?" Gerard asked nervously as we watched the movie. My eyes were focused on the screen, watching guts and blood fly everywhere. Nothing beats a good horror gore movie.
"Yeah Gee?" I asked with a smile as I looked to him. I have no idea why I was so happy. But all day I've been like this. I've had a smile plastered on my face and I've laughed at absolutely nothing a good amount as well. Maybe I was high.
"C-can I talk to you?" He asked, still really nervous. I was starting to become afraid of what he was going to say to me. I mean, he's my best friend. When they get all nervous or afraid to talk of something it's usually unpleasant.
"Sure." I said, my smile fading a little but I kept it there so I wouldn't freak him out. I searched his bed for the remote to pause the movie because the bed was more comfortable then the couch. I was lying down on my stomach and watching the movie while he sat, I think with his sketchbook, towards the top of his bed.
"It's kinda hard for me to say..." Gerard said and I suddenly felt this heavy feeling like something bad was going to come out of his mouth. Something hard for Gerard to say? Yeah, that means something bad. The guy is like always flapping his mouth. I sat up to face him now. "We've been friends for what, a year now?" Yep; really freaking out now. Was it something to do with Mikey? I mean, I was his friend first but that shouldn't matter should it?
"Gerard, you're scaring me." I told him quietly.
"What? Oh, sorry." Gerard said, looking me in the eyes now. "It's not bad." The heavy feeling magically disappeared and though I didn't notice it at first, breathing became a lot easier. "At least I don't think so..."
"Can you just tell me?" I pleaded because I hate when people drag things out. It makes me nervous and it's like I just want to shake them violently until they spit it out. Ok, maybe I have a few mental unbalances. But we all do. And you have to admit, you've thought of something along those lines at least one time in your life. Don't lie. Santa knows.
"I-I..." Gerard took a deep breath and shut his eyes, "Ilikeyouasmorethanafriend." Yeah, didn't quite comprehend that.
"Um...didn't really get that. You wanna slow it down?" I asked with a smile.
"I like you as more than a friend." He repeated, still quick but I got it that time. Then I was hit (seriously I felt like I was literally hit) with shock. "I'm sorry." Gerard said, noticing my shock. "I shouldn't have said anything." He mumbled. He looked like he wanted to cry. "I hope this doesn't ruin our frien-" Having enough of his blabbering, I suddenly found myself forcing my lips against his. I mean, I've liked him that way since the day I met him. I just figured he didn't feel the same way so, no matter how hard it's been, I've suppressed those feelings so our friendship wouldn't become awkward and ruined. But now he's telling me he feels the same way? Hell yeah I'm going to take advantage of it! "Frank...?" He mumbled into my mouth.
"Yeah?" I asked without another thought as I pulled away from him.
"Y-you just kissed me..." He said quietly, looking at me with confusion.
"What?" My mind was off fishing or something because I was unable to think really at all. "Oh." Mind came back. "Yeah, I did."
"W-why?"
"You said you liked me." I replied with a shrug. I saw nothing wrong with the situation.
"Y-yeah but that didn't mean you had to kiss me." Gerard seemed really confused and I was trying not to laugh.
"Did you not like it?" I asked, slightly confused myself to be honest.
"I loved it." He said with a small smile. "But I don't want you to do anything that you're not comfortable with..."
"Gee, I've had those feelings for you since I met you. I just figured you didn't like me." I told him, smiling a little. He started laughing, his head hitting his wall. "What?"
"We've been avoiding what could be the best relationship ever for the past year because neither of us opened our fucking mouths." Gerard replied through his laughter and I couldn't help but join in. Seriously, it was hilarious. I've liked him and he's liked me; yet neither of us brought up the subject for fear of destroying our friendship. Though I'm kind of glad we didn't. Now I feel like nothing was rushed and I've gotten to know him really well over the past year.
"Well now we know." I said as I calmed myself down. Maybe this overly happy feeling I've had all day was foreshadowing this very moment. I mean, if there is a God, he or she must like me a little bit. That's always a plus, right?
"So..." Gerard calmed down and looked to me, "what do we do now?"
"Hmm..." I smiled at him then climbed into his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck and sitting on him with my knees on either side of him. "This." I told him before putting my lips back to his. After a few kisses, his arms went around my body, pulling me as close to him as he could, then his tongue ended up inside my mouth. My heart began to beat faster and I had this over powering feeling of excitement. This (and more) has only ever happened in my dreams. To have it happen for real was overwhelming; wonderful.
"Are you my boyfriend now?" Gerard asked a little shyly when we broke.
"No." I said and he looked at me with confusion and a little hurt. I just smiled widely. "I'm your lover."
"Frankie?" I opened my eyes and saw Gerard looking at me inquisitively. "Pizza's here. Ray says get your ass out there and eat before he breaks you in half." Gerard recited with a smile.
"Ok." I said, sitting up.
"You seem awfully happy now." Gerard said as he stared at me. He was studying me now. That's his new thing I've noticed; he studies people. I guess it's his best way of getting to know them; know their feelings and their thoughts. "Did you have a good dream?"
"The best I've had in a long time." I told him, yawning a little then swung my feet over the edge of the bed.
"About what?" Gerard asked like a teenage girl and somehow my smile grew. I was trying not to laugh. He sat down next to me, waiting for my reply.
"The first time I kissed you." I said. "When we were in your room and decided to go out."
"And you told me you were my lover, not my boyfriend." Gerard said with a smile and the shock came back. I've been getting that a lot today.
"Y-you remember that?"
"Yeah; I remembered while Mikey's mouth was running." There was a little pain in Gerard's voice. "I have no idea why he hates you so much."
"Honestly, neither do I." I said with a little pain myself. "We used to be best friends but for the past few years he's become bitter and hostile." Gerard's eyes were pained so I put my arms around him and rested my head on his shoulder. God this felt good too; just holding him. I've missed that as much as I have kissing him. For the sake of my mentality and pants, we won't go any farther as to what else I've missed.
"Are we going out again now?" He asked quietly but a little nervously.
"Do you want to?" I asked.
"I'm not sure." Gerard replied but it was very hesitant, like he was thinking twice about it, so I wasn't too upset. Of course I was a little upset because he was right next to me, in my arms, after making out with me probably ten or twenty minutes ago, and I wanted him to be mine again. "I mean, I want to, but I feel so weird."
"Why don't you sleep on it?" I suggested and Gerard looked to me, smiling with hope.
"Yeah; if you don't mind." He said.
"Take as much time as you want." I said with a smile, kissing his head then letting go of him. "Now, let's go eat because I really don't want to be broken in half." I told him as I stood up and Gerard laughed. "You have no idea how good it feels to see you smile and laugh again." I said as we headed to my door.
"Did I hurt you?" Gerard suddenly asked so I stopped walking, took a deep breath, and turned to him.
"What's done is done; the past's the past." Gerard looked painfully at me, knowing what I meant. I just smiled at him and took his hands, looking into his sad eyes with happiness because I was really fucking happy. "The only thing we can change is the future."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N--- don't be all like 'awww! they're together!' cuz there's still a lot of shit this story needs to deal with. Such as: Mikey. What the fuck is his problem? I know ^^
and Bert. He's got to be settled. Then there's Bob with his baby and Ray with the drugs.
lastly, there's Gerard. His memory is coming back; that means the bad is going to start coming back. Frank, who remembers it all quite vividly, will have to help Gerard cope with those bad memories; hoping he won't get hurt again. -wink-
so stay tuned for more ^^ I'm leaving Tuesday for a few days so I'll write a lot for all my stories. I'll try to get another chapter or two up for this before I leave though.
xoxo Tabi
Sign up to rate and review this story