FicWad

A/N--- OMG. This chapter ended up ridiculously long. Sorry.

xoxo Tabi.

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Ch.11--- Time Flies; Time Dies ((One Song Glory Adam Pascal; RENT))

Frank's POV

"Frank; hey Frankie wake up." I heard someone's soft voice calling to me. With a moan I opened my eyes and saw Gerard looking at me with an amused smile. "Do I make a good pillow?" He asked me with a slim smile.

"What?" I mumbled, blinking a bit to try and keep my eyes open.

"You were sleeping on me." He said softly and I suddenly remembered making him my pillow. Instantly I sat up, cheeks burning with embarrassment as I stared at the bed.

"Sorry." I mumbled, mentally cursing myself. You know I just fucked everything up. I told the guy to sleep on a decision and what do I do? I sleep on him. Real smooth.

"It's ok." Gerard said with a bit of laughter as he sat up. "So do I make a good pillow?"

"Y-yeah." I said, still avoiding his eyes. Gerard pulled my eyes to meet his and smiled at me. "S-sorry about that."

"I told you it's ok." Gerard said warmly. "I didn't mind. It's just getting late and I have an appointment in about two hours."

"What time is it?" I asked with confusion.

"Like one." Gerard said, still smiling sweetly at me. I suddenly found myself fantasizing about his lips again; wanting them against mine. Feeling the warmth of his breath against my face and his tongue dancing around the inside of my mouth. We won't even go into the dream I had. Luckily, yet unfortunately, Gerard woke me up just in time. I mean, I'd rather not have to explain why my pants were rather tight to Gerard when it was him that made them that way. But it didn't get that far.

"Fuck. You need clothes?" I asked and he nodded. "K." I managed to drag myself off the bed and to my closet, careful of how I opened it so he wouldn't see inside. Inside where many, many, things that would help bring Gerard's memory back. More bad then good. He didn't need that right now. I grabbed a shirt and some jeans that were a bit too big on me; well right now all my clothes were too big on me. But those were even bigger and I figured they would be easiest for him to wear. Gerard's not fat or anything, his body is just different than mine. You know what? Fuck you. I don't have to explain myself.

"Thanks." Gerard said, grabbing the clothing as I tossed them to him. "Frank, I came to a decision about what you asked me yesterday." He said and I was still half asleep so in all honesty, I had no idea what he was talking about.

"And what's that?" I asked, figuring the answer would make me realize the question. I shut the closet and headed back to the bed with a smile.

"Well I thought about it and after my nightmare when I woke you up, you were really kind to me and made me feel a lot better." Gerard said, playing with the shirt a bit in his hands. I could tell he was nervous. I wasn't because I can't even remember what my question to him was. "After you helped me fall back asleep, I decided that I would like to be your-" Suddenly my phone started ringing. Talk about a moment killer. I saw Mikey's name illuminate on the screen and I was shocked.

"What the fuck does he want?" I mumbled to myself. "Hold on Gee; your brother's bothering me." I said as I flipped my phone open and smiled at him. Gerard just sighed but smiled and nodded. "What?" I asked harshly.

"You do realize my brother has an appointment at 3 30, right?" Mikey's emotionless voice came through the phone.

"Yes." I said bitterly. "Is that all?"

"No." Mikey responded, his voice gaining little emotion. It sounded like regret. "I-I need to talk to you."

"We've tried that and it didn't work." I said, sitting on the edge of my bed. Gerard got up and mouthed 'I'm going to change' to me before leaving my room and no doubt going to the bathroom. Is it bad that I wished he would just change in my room? Like, right in front of me? I haven't seen his body in the longest time. He didn't really change much look-wise, but my memory could only last for so long. Eventually, just like a photograph that you constantly pull out from its hiding spot to stare at, the image of his perfectly slender body was starting to fade.

"Frank!" Mikey's loud yelling in my ear snapped me from my trance.

"What?!" I asked, pissed that he brought me from my perfect thoughts.

"I said that I need to talk to you alone." Mikey said with frustration.

"Oh." I replied, yawning a little. I was still tired. "You going to bite my head off again?"

"No. I just really need to talk to you; soon." Mikey said quietly.

"Fine." I sighed heavily. "When I drop Gerard off at his appointment, meet me at the coffee shop around the corner. That way if you start to get out of hand I can have some random stranger deal with you." I shut my phone and threw it on my bed with aggravation. I was having a good day so far. The last thing I needed was Mikey's pissy attitude to ruin it all.

"What'd Mikey want?" Gerard asked, reappearing in the clothes I gave him to wear.

"He said he needs to talk to me." I said miserably. "So I'm going to drop you off at your appointment and while you're there, I'm going to talk to him at the coffee shop right around the corner."

"Oh." There was a little melancholy in Gerard's voice that made me curious as to what he was thinking. Of course this led my mind to its 'unholy' thoughts again and I had to look away before he noticed I was staring at him. "Ray's playing video games again."

"He's a big child." I said with amusement and Gerard returned it with a smile; even a small laugh. "Want to see him freak out?" I asked, biting my lip a little.

"Like how?" Gerard asked, intrigued by my proposition.

"Like yelling and freaking out." I said and Gerard stared at me for a moment.

"Sure." He replied.

"Ok, follow me. You have to be like super quiet though." I said and Gerard nodded. Honestly, I felt like a small child again as we quietly left my bedroom and headed to the living room. Ray was sitting on the couch playing the zombie game again. I mouthed 'stay here' to Gerard as we reached the end of the hall and he nodded, standing still and watching me.

Quietly, I walked to the back of the couch then nodded at Gerard who was trying not to laugh. Ray was pretty focused on the game so I knew my plan would work well. Taking a deep, silent breath, I screamed "RAY!" then tackled him from behind. Ray yelled as I made him fall face first to the ground, throwing the controller from the shock of my screaming anyway.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Ray yelled loudly into the carpet as I was on top of him. Gerard burst into laughter, falling down I think as well. "G'OFFME!" Obeying, I got off Ray and bent over him to look into his eyes.

"Hello." I said with a smile and Ray gave me the death glare. This always amused me when I was really upset. It only worked when Ray was extremely focused on something. Like if we were watching a horror movie or when he was playing video games. Also, he had to be lost in his own world. Meaning, no one could have talked to him recently or make any noise.

"You know I hate that!" Ray snapped at me, sitting up and rubbing his head. "You almost gave me a heart attack!" He said bitterly as he pulled himself onto the couch again. I just laughed and stood off to the side. "Gerard! I know you're behind this too!"

"Hey!" Gerard called through his laughing fit. He was on his knees, gripping his sides as he choked a little. "I was told to stand here and watch."

"I need a pick me up." I told Ray, no longer laughing and giving him my pouting face. He just continued to glare at me.

"And why is that?" He asked, grabbing the controller and resuming his game. I'm pretty sure Ray was cursing me out under his breath too but it was all in Spanish so I didn't understand it.

"Gerard has an appointment in roughly two hours and I have to go meet Mikey at the coffee shop around the corner." I told him with another sigh, falling down in the chair I was in the previous night.

"At least you were smart and chose to do it in public." Ray said as Gerard, still slightly laughing, joined us.

"Bob leave?" I asked, suddenly noticing our party was down to three guests.

"Yeah. He had to go get Cassidy." Ray said, eyes still focused on the game.

"Oh, Gee," I said looking to Gerard who sat opposite me on a smaller couch, "what did you want to tell me earlier?"

"What? Oh." Gerard took deep breaths to calm himself. I found myself staring at him again. He looked so cute. His eyes were illuminated with heavy amusement and his delicate lips were pulled into a large grin; barely exposing his perfectly gorgeous teeth. His mouth was giving a teasing smile because everyone knew that Gerard's smile was perfect. The long bangs of Gerard's jet black hair hung loosely from his head as though he didn't care what they did. A few crossed over his snowy pale face but the shine in his eyes still found its way through. "Just wanted to tell you I came to an answer to what we were talking about yesterday."

"I hate to ask, but what were we talking about yesterday?" I asked with embarrassment.

"And I thought I couldn't remember." Gerard said, laughing a little more. Yes, I was really fighting off the urge to just attack him. To force my lips against his and suck out his soul basically. I wanted to wrap my body around his, well my limbs at least, and just pin him down while ramming my tongue down his throat. Totally not weird. You've had those fantasies too. Don't lie. "I asked you if we were going out now." Ray suddenly went a little white and my memory of the conversation instantly snapped back to me.

"I'm, uh," Ray quit the game and then turned the system off, "I'm gonna go. I have to, you know, uh, yeah." I was doing all I could not to start laughing at him. It was obvious how awkward he suddenly felt with the conversation that Gerard and I were about to have so he attempted to make an excuse but was unable to. "I'll call you later. Don't kill Mikey." Ray said, grabbing his car keys and leaving.

"That was weird." I said with a few giggles (god I haven't done that in years either) before turning my attention back to Gerard. "Go on."

"I decided that I wouldn't," My mind left me at that point because I knew he was turning me down. Of course I was pissed about it but then again, it was like a whole new Gerard. Sure he said he liked me and I admitted to liking him, but I told him to sleep on it because it was a spur of the moment thing when we randomly started making out. Plus, I probably pushed him away by sleeping on him. If only he knew of my recent dreams; both good and bad. Sweet and really fucking steamy. "Frank, are you listening?" Gerard asked a little annoyed.

"Yeah." I said with a smile and he just stared at me. "No." I replied quietly. I couldn't lie to him. He somehow could read right through lies and rather than waste my breath trying to come up with an excuse or explanation, I just told him the truth. "Sorry; I've been rather spacey lately."

"I've noticed..." Gerard told me, still staring. There was worry in his eyes but most of all there was confusion. I've come to know that look very well over the past few days. "Maybe I should just wait."

"No, please tell me. I'll listen this time." I pleaded. I had to hear him say it. I had to hear him deny me. I was going to force myself to pay attention and stop dreaming about sex with him.

"Well I decided that I would like us to have a relationship again." Seriously?! Joy and excitement flooded through my body and I was close to squealing. I mean, I've dreamt about him for the longest time. He wasn't the same Gerard anymore; he was a different Gerard in a sense. I would make sure he didn't fall into his old habits and destroy our relationship again. "That is, if you still want to do it."

So, my mind took over. I jumped out of the chair and pumbled him. No, not ran to him and jump on him; I completely took him out. I flew at him and smacked him so hard that the couch fell backwards with an echoing 'thud' that shook the house a little. Without letting him speak, I gave him my answer by sitting on top of him (since he was on his back now) and cramming my lips against his. At first Gerard looked at me with shock and a little fear but he quickly got over that as he started to kiss me back. We did this until he had to leave.

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I parked the car on the side of the road in front of the corner coffee shop where I was meeting Mikey. With a deep breath leading into a heavy sigh, I went inside and found him sitting in a far corner; bent slightly over a cup of coffee. Sticking my keys in my pocket, I walked to him and sat down. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I want you to stay away from Gerard." Mikey said, looking sternly at me.

"Good bye." I said, rolling my eyes and standing to leave. I had an idea the conversation would be about this.

"Frank;" Mikey grabbed my wrist. "Please, I'm not done."

"I don't want to hear it." I told him sharply. "Gerard's big enough to make his own choices."

"He's not who I'm concerned about." Mikey told me quietly and I just stared at him. There was great amounts of worry mixed with pain swirling in his eyes. "Please sit down and listen to me." Sighing again, I fell back into the chair and crossed my arms. "I know I said I didn't believe you about him doing drugs. Truth is I didn't want to believe you." Mikey said, staring me dead on in the eyes.

"Well he doesn't remember the drugs." I told Mikey, softer than I was speaking to him.

"But how long until he does?" There was fear dripping off Mikey's worried voice and I looked to him with confusion. "How long until he remembers using them? Until he remembers Bert? When he learned about you, he pestered the hell out of me about you. When he remembers Bert, he'll want to meet him and talk to him."

"Mikey, what are you getting at?" I uncrossed my arms and stared at him with my own concern. Sure I could be super pissed at him, but once upon a time he was my best friend and I can tell when he's truly worried about something or someone.

"I know my brother." Mikey said, pushing his coffee away from him a little. "He might not remember those things right now, but eventually he will." He looked to the table, speaking in a quiet pained voice. "And when he does, he's more than likely going to end up in that downward spiral again."

"I won't let him." I told Mikey sternly.

"That's what I'm worried about." Mikey told me with angst, looking at me again. "Last time you tried to stop him, you almost got killed." Shock now came to me. Mikey was referring the dream I just so happened to have the previous night; the dream of when I was in the hospital. "I knew he beat you. I knew he hurt you in more ways than any single person can ever fathom."

"Mikey, that was over a year ago." I said quietly. I could sense how upset he was about it; about me.

"After you left though, he didn't stop." Mikey told me, looking back to the table. "He continued to drink. His new excuse was he had to drink you away." Mikey blinked his eyes a few times, no doubt to keep tears from falling. "When you ended up in the hospital, I lost it. I had enough of him drinking and hurting you. You were my best friend. Even though he's my brother, I couldn't watch you take such pain. That's why when you went home, I told him that he had to stay with me for a bit; even though I knew you made up some excuse to keep him away. I knew that if he got to you again, he would actually kill you. You were too weak to put up with him again."

"Mikey..." That's all I could manage to get out.

"He'd start throwing things at me at night. He would drink then do some sort of drug; happy for a few hours then become violent. I then knew what you had to face every day; and I couldn't let him near you again." A tear or two ran down Mikey's cheek. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My best friend was coming back to me. "I helped feed the lies that you were trying to keep him from being happy. That's why I would also call you and yell at you about how horrible you were for leaving him. I figured if I got you pissed enough at each other, you wouldn't go near each other again. I knew that if I could make that happen, you would be safe."

"My god..." I whispered. There was so much shock in my body that I couldn't really think of anything else to say. It was all overwhelming. Mikey became a raving asshole to protect me. And what did I do? I treated him just as harshly. I felt nauseous and regret.

"Of course, he wasn't as harsh to me as he was to you. I would see the bruises when you would change outfits for shows and stuff. I could see the deep purple marks all over your skin; the scars and marks from where you got cut." Pain was completely drowning Mikey's voice now. "All I could think was how much of a monster Gerard was for hurting you because it was obvious how much you loved him. You didn't deserve such treatment. But he's my brother, you know? I couldn't bring myself to go as far as to call someone to help you. Instead, I tried to do it myself." A few more tears escaped his eyes.

"But then, the crash happened; and I quickly regretted it all. I broke him." Mikey was crying a little harder and people were looking but I ignored them. "He called me the night of the crash and told me good bye; but not directly. He basically told me he was going to kill himself. He went on and on about hurting you; about how he was so sorry but you wouldn't talk to either of us so that I had to apologize to you for him."

"H-he said that?" I asked and Mikey nodded; grabbing a napkin to wipe his eyes.

"I freaked out and tried to call my mom to tell her not to let Gerard leave but she wasn't home. So I tried to call you but your phone was off."

"I was at the movies..." I mumbled and Mikey nodded, still wiping his eyes.

"So I went out to find him. Then I found him; about ten feet from his car which was upside down and totaled. He was unconscious and there was blood everywhere." I handed Mikey more napkins as he began to cry again. "When his memory was gone, I freaked out. I couldn't believe what I did. I knew I had to help him get it back. But then I couldn't let him remember you; at least not in a good way. I thought that if I put lies into his head, he would avoid you. I had to keep you safe; memory or not."

"I'm sorry I was so rude to you." I whispered, placing my hand on Mikey's free hand which rested on the table. "I-I had no idea."

"I'm sorry I fucked everything up. I was just so fucking afraid that he would kill you. It was bad enough he killed my brother in a sense; I couldn't let him kill my best friend too." Mikey said through soft choking. "I didn't mean for things to get so tense and hostile though. I just wanted you two apart."

"But now I know." I said quietly. "And I'm willing to move past it all." Mikey looked up at me with reddened eyes. "You still my best friend?" I asked with a smile.

"Y-you still want to be my friend? After everything I did?" He asked with confusion.

"It's time all of us, including Bob and Ray, started fresh." I said and he nodded slightly. "I want my best friend Mikey back." Mikey smiled a little at me. "I missed him."

"I missed my best friend Frank." Mikey told me through his messy smile. Hey, the guy just like broke down by pouring out his soul. Give him some credit. "Which is why I want you to stay away from Gerard. I don't have a good feeling about this all. He's going to remember. I can't watch you suffer again."

"Hey," I made Mikey look me directly in the eyes, "I'm fine. I'm alive and working on cleaning my life up. Ray basically told me the same thing you're indirectly telling me right now. You both would make sure Gerard didn't hurt me anymore. I'm really grateful to have such good friends."

"R-Ray said that?" Mikey asked, confused some more.

"Yeah. I had a nightmare last night about that night I ended up in the hospital. Ray helped me feel better and told me that he wouldn't let Gerard hurt me again." Mikey sniffled a bit, no longer crying which was a relief. I still ignored everyone's curious glares. It was none of their fucking business. "I chose not to leave Gerard, even though he would beat me unconscious sometimes." Mikey flinched a little but I remained calm. I was actually still overcome with shock. "I won't let him do it again." Yeah, that was a lie. Basically, I wasn't leaving Gerard again. "As far as his memory, we do our best to keep those one's lost to him. When they do come back though, because they will, we deal with them one step at a time." Mikey nodded a little again. "The main thing is that we keep him under control."

"W-what if he starts to d-drink again? Or do d-drugs?" Mikey was still choking a little.

"I personally will do everything in my power to stop him." Again Mikey flinched. That's what got me bruised before. "But we'll find the balls to get him real help this time." A very faint smile crept across Mikey's face. "Now, go home and get some rest. Come by tomorrow." Mikey nodded and we both stood. He put his arms around me.

"Please stay safe." He whispered into my ear. "Call me the first sign he shows of his old habits." I'm not going to mention the dream. That actually led to a good night's sleep for me for once; after my nightmare of course.

"Ray's staying with me so I think I'll be good." Mikey looked at me with pain again. "But I'll be sure to call you." I knew he just wanted to help. Mikey left, still wiping his eyes and I stayed for a moment, trying to sort out my thoughts. All this time Mikey was putting his life at risk to protect mine. He knew that Gerard abused me; he saw the bruises and scars.

I headed to my car and got in. It just so happened to be time to get Gerard. My mind was heavy with a thousand different thoughts now. The strongest one though was very troubling. Do I tell Gerard what Mikey and I talked about? Do I tell Ray? What do I do at all? I mean, Gerard and I just settled on being together again. But I shared the same thoughts as Mikey. I keep thinking about what would happen when Gerard remembers Bert. He already remembered the drinking; it was only a matter of time now, right?

But one thought remained stronger than anything else that spun rapidly around in my mind. I was really glad to have my best friend back. I missed him as much as Gerard. I smiled as I drove back to the clinic to get Gerard; the same thing running across my thoughts over and over.

We really are cleaning our lives up.