FicWad

I bit my bottom lip and waited for Maria to say something... well anything.
She just stared at me with wide eyes and her jaw was slightly open.
All I wanted to do right now was to hide, I didn't like this spotlight. I decided that maybe if I made a movement she'd snap out of it, so I grabbed the tissue box to dry my eyes.
She blinked and recovered from looking shocked. "Um... okay, that was just not... expected from you."
I frowned at her, "Thanks."
"No! I didn't mean it that way. I just..." she was lost for words.
"It's fine, I get it!" I snapped.
She looked back at me apologetically. "Don't get me wrong, it's just that he's been ignoring you like your whole life..."
I sighed, she made me feel so stupid. I mean why am I crushing over a way older guy who's my stepfather, who has been ignoring me ever since? Grrr, I am so stupid! Very stupid! I stood up and dumped all the tissue I've used in the trash. "I'm going," I muttered.
"No come on don't go," Maria stood up and hugged me. "I'm sorry, stay for the night you look terrible honey."
"Oh I really wanted to know that," I said sarcastically.
I really didn't know why I was acting so stupidly around her. I mean she was trying to help. She might have reacted badly but anyone would react that way. I didn't like this situation that I was in. It was stupid and I wanted to be over it. I should just probably forget about it, as if I just suffered short term amnesia. I smiled imaginatively.
"Nicole, don't be stupid! You're gonna sleep over," she demanded.
I sighed and smiled warmly at her, "Fine."
I'm suggesting that I should tidy myself and not be that mess of a girl like I was.


"Breakfast in bed!" Nicole called out when she came back to her room where I just woke up from the racket.
"Uhh thanks?" I was surprised when she put the tray of food on my lap. I looked up at her questioningly.
"Well dig in!" she encouraged me.
"Aren't you gonna eat?" I asked.
"I ate while you were sleeping."
I nodded and looked at all the variety of food that was set on the tray. It was like she saved me from sleeping in the streets and was now indulging me with food.
"So, are you going back home today?" Maria asked as she watched me eat which was really irritating by the way.
"Yeah," I said with my mouth full.
"Are you sure? You can stay here again."
"Maria, I'm not a coward anymore and I'm sure things will be back to normal. Gerard won't speak or stay in the same room as me so don't you worry, I know him."
"But the things that happened yesterday can't have been like erased now, it's still raw."
"It's in the past now. I'm over it," I grinned.
"But what about him?" she asked.
"He's over it too, can I eat now?" I asked.
"Sorry."
I scoffed and continued to eat.


I actually couldn't ignore my sudden rapid heartbeat. My breathing wasn't steady too. I sighed and shook a little just to let all this tense and emotions go away. The front door was unusually unlocked as I opened the door. I almost jumped from the door creaking as I opened it. Damn door! I really didn't want a racket to signal that I was home. I tiptoed upstairs to my room and hoped Gerard wasn't near by or he was at work. I was about to step into my room when I noticed Gerard was sitting on my bed, almost in the same spot as last time. His back was to me so he couldn't see and hopefully didn't hear me. He was in the same dark clothes as yesterday. I watched his sitting form and gave a confused face which he didn't see. I noticed there was a tissue box sitting right beside him. I didn't know what was going on but I didn't stay to find out.
I tiptoed ever so quietly downstairs. I decided that I should just spend another night at Maria's, I couldn't just stay here with him not budging off my bed. I opened the front door again and cursed at it when it creaked again.
"Nicole, please don't go!" Gerard hurried down the stairs. His face was pale, his eyes were bloodshot red as if this whole thing was affecting him quite dearly.
I stepped back and just stared at his messed up form.
"I was hoping you'd come back," he continued and smiled a little.
"Well this is my home," I said.
He watched me for a second probably because he didn't know what to say to that. "With what I said yesterday, I guess I have... disappointed you."
It was really weird having a conversation in the middle of the doorway. "Well it's in the past now," I said simply and closed the front door and walked into the kitchen.
He followed me, "I know, I mean I didn't expect..."
"Yea, I know you didn't expect it from me 'cause I'm just an innocent girl yada yada yada, I get it. But really don't worry about it," I filled the glass cup with water.
"No it's not..."
The cup accidentally slipped out of my shaken hand and smashed into pieces in the sink.
"Oh my god, Nicole are you okay?" Gerard checked for any glass in my hands.
"Look, can we go back to normal please?" I interrupted him.
"Thank god you're okay. Normal?" he asked.
"With you not speaking to me, you know you just ignoring me."
He looked at me questioningly.
"Come on, you've been doing it for years! It's not that hard. Just ignore me please! I'm you're dead wife's daughter. You're supposed to be miserable about her death! You're supposed to regret even being my guardian!" I was deperate. I didn't want him speaking to me, it hurt.
He didn't say anything but stared at me.
"Just don't care about me anymore please!" I begged.
I couldn't stand him staring at me continously. I turned and hurried off into my room. Gosh I couldn't act like I didn't care. Just looking at him broke everything. I really needed to do something about this. I hated it. I hope Gerard does as he was told.






Yay!!!
Merry christmas
And
Happy new year to everyone!!
Gah I can't wait till I'm 18 in less than a month yay!
Sorry i had to repost it again....
Anyways



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