Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Like I Did Yesterday
I picked on invisible dirt on my quilt as I stared down on my quilt. I wasn't staring at my fingers but was like I was staring through it as if I can see through my quilt. I was pretty much dozing in and out of reality. It was really stupid. This was how my days went, just sit in my room and doze out of reality. Of course I needed to exit my room when I needed to pee or to eat and when I did that Gerard would always be at work or sleeping.
I sighed I pushed my hair back, to be honest I didn't like the fact that I burst out at him. I really regretted it, I didn't want him to stop talking to me and return to normal. I really didn't want that, but it's too late. Gosh I hate me and my stupid choices.
I stop breathing when I heard footsteps in the corridor just outside my room. It wasn't a new thing, everyday at 8 in the morning Gerard would leave home to work. I just liked hearing his footsteps and not making a noise at the same time. I let go of the breath I was holding when I heard the front door open and close soon after. That was when I forced myself out of bed and drag my feet to the door. I haven't been sleeping ever since, so I was very tired. I managed to take a glimpse of myself in the mirror, my make up smeared eyes and pale self explained that I was a person with issues.
I grumpily went downstairs and slumped down in the couch. I was too tired to go to the kitchen just yet. I close my eyes and rested on the couch. I may be looking peaceful from afar but really I was struggling trying push all the thoughts and anything that reminded me of Gerard. It was hard with the fact that everything in my life was linked to Gerard. How about thinking of a happy song? That was hard too. I frowned with my eyes closed, this was the reason why I couldn't sleep; Gerard was everywhere in my mind and he would go wild and play himself to death in me. You're just an obsessed selfish freak. I just might be. The sound of keys hitting the floorboard just in a close distance to me made me jumped in self defence. I was bewildered to see Gerard sitting on the couch next to wear I was sitting before I jumped up in fear. What the fuck was he doing here? I knowingly walked into the small table beside the sofa which quickly shot pain through my leg. "Fuck!" I yelped and bit the inside of my cheek. Guess I'm not dreaming.
"I'm sorry for frightening you like that," Gerard tried to stop his chuckle by bit his bottom lip.
It's funny to know that Gerard is in his 30s but yet he looks like he's 20.
I let my eyes wonder around the room just to get my heart rate to normal and my mind to stop messing with me. Did he just speak to me? Oh yes he did! But he was apologizing, so it's cool. Do I say something now? Do I just sound cool? He does. Well that was my childish thoughts. "I... erm... it's cool - aren't you supposed to be at work?" I sounded like Ben Stiller in his movie Tropic Thunder where he was renacting that retarded movie he did, I think it was called Simple Jack. I cursed myself silently for sounding like an idiot.
He smiled warmly at me, "Yea, I was until I reached my car and I didn't feel like going anymore."
Sure he had an easygoing job, just created comic books in his free time like the Umberella Academy. I nodded and silently walked passed him.
"And um, a bunch of mates are coming over later this afternoon. So erm like you can hang out with us and not lock yourself in your room," he slightly looked intiminated when I gave him a death glare.
I continued towards the stairs.
"And Mikey will be here too, along with Frank, Ray and Bob."
I groaned. "Alright."
Mikey, Frank, Bob and Ray unlike Gerard were good friends of mine even though I didn't see them often because of their own lives now. They're like my mentors, tells me from wrong to right.
When I reached my room I just sat on my bed and replayed our quick conversation. It really confused me as to why he started to speak to me as if nothing was wrong. He must have forgotten about it. He is a very good looking man, there's bound to be a woman giving him pleasures and such. I shook angrily at that thought.
I slowly walked down stairs all freshened up and with my make up hiding my insecurities. It was almost half past four when our guests arrived and that's what I was doing, greeting them like what a normal stepdaughter should. My smile beamed when I found Mikey, Frank, Bob and Ray at the front door greeting Gerard.
"Nicole! Hey!" Ray was the first to see me and greeted me with a huge hug.
"Ray, how are you?" I hugged him back.
"Just fine," I lied. Oh yeah I'm great in lying.
"Dude! I heard you finished school!" Frank hugged me next. "What are you going to do with your life now?"
There was slight silence as if everyone wanted to know what I was going to say. "Well I'm going to move out and go to college," I stared at my feet.
"And leave Gerard to live all alone?" Bob asked.
Why are they trying to make me guilty? I looked up at them, they all had concerned faces except for Gerard who was avoiding this whole conversation by looking elsewhere.
"Well I didn't say I was going to actually move, only if my college is hundreds of miles away," I chuckled to make my statement more believable. I was so lying.
"Oh cool," Frank patted my back.
"You've grown so much Nicole," Ray smiled. "Gerard's been looking after you well."
This is where you actually needed to cough to that statement. I could tell that Gerard and I totally ignored that and invited them inside.
"Everyone, guess what I got with me," Mikey stood on the sofa.
Everyone looked up at him. It's been an hour since everyone came over even Gerard's other mates who I never met before.
"Soul Calbur 4!" Mikey made a weird noise along with it.
"Okay move out people, I'm so gonna kick Mikey's douche ass!" Frank pushed through people proudly.
"You go get him Frank!" Ray patted him on the back.
"Hey! Ray I thought you loved me," Mikey pouted.
"Oh dear Mikey, I love you," Bob hugged him.
"So that's what you two have been doing behind closed doors," Frank narrowed his eyes.
"Frank keep your dirty mind to yourself," Mikey flipped him off leaving everyone laughing.
It was late evening now and here I was sitting in the corner watching everyone talk, laugh and play. It was generally funny to see Frank play with this guy named Jack with guitar hero, Frank was losing dramatically.
"Dude this aint fair! I'm like a cool guitarist!" Frank stomped his feet.
Frank is an expect player in guitar hero, it's just that he was tipsy now.
Well most of the guys were either drunk or tipsy here, except Ray and Gerard. I decided not to drink along with them, I mean last time I hook up with someone I barely knew and I didn't want to repeat that same thing. The guys did invite me to play guitar hero with them but I kindly refused, I didn't feel comfortable amongst the other guys that Gerard knew. I mean this little party was great because I get to have myself preoccupied by something like watching Frank make a fool of himself than just sulking all night. I swiftly turned my gaze to a man sitting on the couch almost across me at an angle.
He licked the tip of his beer bottle and smile drunkenly at me. He was alright looking, just about Gerard's age and I think he's name was Julian or something. He looked like a pervert and it really disgusted me.
I frowned at him and slid off the chair and got to the kitchen. Thankfully it was empty but very messy. I felt sick with the way that Julian looked at me. Very sick. I filled my glass cup with water and gulped it all down but I nearly choked on the last gulp when I heard a whisper in my ear. The smell of the person instantly scared the living shit out of me. I quickly turned around to see Julian swaying from side to side.
"So you're Gee's step girl eh?" he slurred.
I nodded with wide fearful eyes.
"Wow, you're awfully pretty babe."
I looked away as I felt too sick to watch his eyes check me out. "Anyway, I gotta go."
"Oh no, I hope I'm not scaring you. I just wanna talk to you," he pulled my arm when I tried to move away.
"Sorry I need to go," I tried to move my arm out of his grasp.
"But you're so beautiful honey," he somehow stumbled a little and had his hands holding me for support. His lips abruptly kissed my neck which made me yelp.
"Fuck off cunt!" I yelled and pushed him away but I swear he gripped onto me like a spider web gripped onto the captured fly. He made me sick and it was so unbelievable that he didn't respond to my words or actions but kept kissing my neck.
Out of the blue, Gerard appeared in the kitchen and before I could ask him to help me he growled and crawled over Julian who immediately let me go.
I was pushed back in the impact and felt a jabbing pain in my arm but didn't give a slight attention to it. I was captivated by Gerard's sudden anger and his lashing out to Julian. I never realised that Gerard went too far into bashing Julian until some other guys came to stop the bashing.
"Don't you fucking touch her again you bastard!" Gerard roared at him trying to get his hands on him but Ray and another man was holding him away.
"What? It's not like she belongs to you," Julian slurred weakly on the floor
"Yes, she does!"
I didn't know how I could take that. Is it a good thing?
When the other guys carried Julian into the lounge room that was when I realised that I was hurt also. I hissed at the pain and brought up my arm towards my face to see a huge gash with blood freely flowing out of the gash. I held my breath and dropped my arm. "Oh my fuck," I said blankly.
I hated blood so much. Any sight of blood and you see running to the bathroom to take a puke.
The only ones in the kitchen who were Gerard, Mikey and Ray all looked at me.
"What is it Nicole?" Mikey asked.
"I'm bleeding," I kept my arm away from my body. I didn't want blood all over me even though it was running down to my hand. I shivered from the blood running down my arm.
They all gasped when the blood dripped on the tiled floor a second later.
"Someone call the ambulance!" Ray yelled out in panic and ran to me. "Okay sit Nicole, it's okay, you're gonna be alright."
Gerard ran to my side with a scared face. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry Nicole, I didn't mean to hurt you! I... don't die! I'm sorry about everything! I should have kept my eyes on you then this wouldn't have happened! Are you in too much pain! Here," he held my hand. "Squeeze my hand if you're in pain."
I didn't like the fact that they were panicing, I didn't want a panic attack. "There's no need for emergency."
"Are you kidding woman? You'll be unconcious any time soon," Mikey said and got a kitchen clothes and tied my arm.
I hissed again from the pain. "Please, its okay. See I'm fine," I smiled.
Bob ran to us, "The ambulance will be here in 10, you hang in there Nicole. I'll got send the guys out of here."
Mikey was right, I soon fell unconcious. The last thing I saw was Gerard's panicked face.
[/Sorry for the hyperbole
Lol
Now this took me ages to write ppl ><
I think some of you have noticed that I kind stole lines from stuck on you by paramore and make up smeared eyes by automatic loveletter.
Review??]
I sighed I pushed my hair back, to be honest I didn't like the fact that I burst out at him. I really regretted it, I didn't want him to stop talking to me and return to normal. I really didn't want that, but it's too late. Gosh I hate me and my stupid choices.
I stop breathing when I heard footsteps in the corridor just outside my room. It wasn't a new thing, everyday at 8 in the morning Gerard would leave home to work. I just liked hearing his footsteps and not making a noise at the same time. I let go of the breath I was holding when I heard the front door open and close soon after. That was when I forced myself out of bed and drag my feet to the door. I haven't been sleeping ever since, so I was very tired. I managed to take a glimpse of myself in the mirror, my make up smeared eyes and pale self explained that I was a person with issues.
I grumpily went downstairs and slumped down in the couch. I was too tired to go to the kitchen just yet. I close my eyes and rested on the couch. I may be looking peaceful from afar but really I was struggling trying push all the thoughts and anything that reminded me of Gerard. It was hard with the fact that everything in my life was linked to Gerard. How about thinking of a happy song? That was hard too. I frowned with my eyes closed, this was the reason why I couldn't sleep; Gerard was everywhere in my mind and he would go wild and play himself to death in me. You're just an obsessed selfish freak. I just might be. The sound of keys hitting the floorboard just in a close distance to me made me jumped in self defence. I was bewildered to see Gerard sitting on the couch next to wear I was sitting before I jumped up in fear. What the fuck was he doing here? I knowingly walked into the small table beside the sofa which quickly shot pain through my leg. "Fuck!" I yelped and bit the inside of my cheek. Guess I'm not dreaming.
"I'm sorry for frightening you like that," Gerard tried to stop his chuckle by bit his bottom lip.
It's funny to know that Gerard is in his 30s but yet he looks like he's 20.
I let my eyes wonder around the room just to get my heart rate to normal and my mind to stop messing with me. Did he just speak to me? Oh yes he did! But he was apologizing, so it's cool. Do I say something now? Do I just sound cool? He does. Well that was my childish thoughts. "I... erm... it's cool - aren't you supposed to be at work?" I sounded like Ben Stiller in his movie Tropic Thunder where he was renacting that retarded movie he did, I think it was called Simple Jack. I cursed myself silently for sounding like an idiot.
He smiled warmly at me, "Yea, I was until I reached my car and I didn't feel like going anymore."
Sure he had an easygoing job, just created comic books in his free time like the Umberella Academy. I nodded and silently walked passed him.
"And um, a bunch of mates are coming over later this afternoon. So erm like you can hang out with us and not lock yourself in your room," he slightly looked intiminated when I gave him a death glare.
I continued towards the stairs.
"And Mikey will be here too, along with Frank, Ray and Bob."
I groaned. "Alright."
Mikey, Frank, Bob and Ray unlike Gerard were good friends of mine even though I didn't see them often because of their own lives now. They're like my mentors, tells me from wrong to right.
When I reached my room I just sat on my bed and replayed our quick conversation. It really confused me as to why he started to speak to me as if nothing was wrong. He must have forgotten about it. He is a very good looking man, there's bound to be a woman giving him pleasures and such. I shook angrily at that thought.
I slowly walked down stairs all freshened up and with my make up hiding my insecurities. It was almost half past four when our guests arrived and that's what I was doing, greeting them like what a normal stepdaughter should. My smile beamed when I found Mikey, Frank, Bob and Ray at the front door greeting Gerard.
"Nicole! Hey!" Ray was the first to see me and greeted me with a huge hug.
"Ray, how are you?" I hugged him back.
"Just fine," I lied. Oh yeah I'm great in lying.
"Dude! I heard you finished school!" Frank hugged me next. "What are you going to do with your life now?"
There was slight silence as if everyone wanted to know what I was going to say. "Well I'm going to move out and go to college," I stared at my feet.
"And leave Gerard to live all alone?" Bob asked.
Why are they trying to make me guilty? I looked up at them, they all had concerned faces except for Gerard who was avoiding this whole conversation by looking elsewhere.
"Well I didn't say I was going to actually move, only if my college is hundreds of miles away," I chuckled to make my statement more believable. I was so lying.
"Oh cool," Frank patted my back.
"You've grown so much Nicole," Ray smiled. "Gerard's been looking after you well."
This is where you actually needed to cough to that statement. I could tell that Gerard and I totally ignored that and invited them inside.
"Everyone, guess what I got with me," Mikey stood on the sofa.
Everyone looked up at him. It's been an hour since everyone came over even Gerard's other mates who I never met before.
"Soul Calbur 4!" Mikey made a weird noise along with it.
"Okay move out people, I'm so gonna kick Mikey's douche ass!" Frank pushed through people proudly.
"You go get him Frank!" Ray patted him on the back.
"Hey! Ray I thought you loved me," Mikey pouted.
"Oh dear Mikey, I love you," Bob hugged him.
"So that's what you two have been doing behind closed doors," Frank narrowed his eyes.
"Frank keep your dirty mind to yourself," Mikey flipped him off leaving everyone laughing.
It was late evening now and here I was sitting in the corner watching everyone talk, laugh and play. It was generally funny to see Frank play with this guy named Jack with guitar hero, Frank was losing dramatically.
"Dude this aint fair! I'm like a cool guitarist!" Frank stomped his feet.
Frank is an expect player in guitar hero, it's just that he was tipsy now.
Well most of the guys were either drunk or tipsy here, except Ray and Gerard. I decided not to drink along with them, I mean last time I hook up with someone I barely knew and I didn't want to repeat that same thing. The guys did invite me to play guitar hero with them but I kindly refused, I didn't feel comfortable amongst the other guys that Gerard knew. I mean this little party was great because I get to have myself preoccupied by something like watching Frank make a fool of himself than just sulking all night. I swiftly turned my gaze to a man sitting on the couch almost across me at an angle.
He licked the tip of his beer bottle and smile drunkenly at me. He was alright looking, just about Gerard's age and I think he's name was Julian or something. He looked like a pervert and it really disgusted me.
I frowned at him and slid off the chair and got to the kitchen. Thankfully it was empty but very messy. I felt sick with the way that Julian looked at me. Very sick. I filled my glass cup with water and gulped it all down but I nearly choked on the last gulp when I heard a whisper in my ear. The smell of the person instantly scared the living shit out of me. I quickly turned around to see Julian swaying from side to side.
"So you're Gee's step girl eh?" he slurred.
I nodded with wide fearful eyes.
"Wow, you're awfully pretty babe."
I looked away as I felt too sick to watch his eyes check me out. "Anyway, I gotta go."
"Oh no, I hope I'm not scaring you. I just wanna talk to you," he pulled my arm when I tried to move away.
"Sorry I need to go," I tried to move my arm out of his grasp.
"But you're so beautiful honey," he somehow stumbled a little and had his hands holding me for support. His lips abruptly kissed my neck which made me yelp.
"Fuck off cunt!" I yelled and pushed him away but I swear he gripped onto me like a spider web gripped onto the captured fly. He made me sick and it was so unbelievable that he didn't respond to my words or actions but kept kissing my neck.
Out of the blue, Gerard appeared in the kitchen and before I could ask him to help me he growled and crawled over Julian who immediately let me go.
I was pushed back in the impact and felt a jabbing pain in my arm but didn't give a slight attention to it. I was captivated by Gerard's sudden anger and his lashing out to Julian. I never realised that Gerard went too far into bashing Julian until some other guys came to stop the bashing.
"Don't you fucking touch her again you bastard!" Gerard roared at him trying to get his hands on him but Ray and another man was holding him away.
"What? It's not like she belongs to you," Julian slurred weakly on the floor
"Yes, she does!"
I didn't know how I could take that. Is it a good thing?
When the other guys carried Julian into the lounge room that was when I realised that I was hurt also. I hissed at the pain and brought up my arm towards my face to see a huge gash with blood freely flowing out of the gash. I held my breath and dropped my arm. "Oh my fuck," I said blankly.
I hated blood so much. Any sight of blood and you see running to the bathroom to take a puke.
The only ones in the kitchen who were Gerard, Mikey and Ray all looked at me.
"What is it Nicole?" Mikey asked.
"I'm bleeding," I kept my arm away from my body. I didn't want blood all over me even though it was running down to my hand. I shivered from the blood running down my arm.
They all gasped when the blood dripped on the tiled floor a second later.
"Someone call the ambulance!" Ray yelled out in panic and ran to me. "Okay sit Nicole, it's okay, you're gonna be alright."
Gerard ran to my side with a scared face. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry Nicole, I didn't mean to hurt you! I... don't die! I'm sorry about everything! I should have kept my eyes on you then this wouldn't have happened! Are you in too much pain! Here," he held my hand. "Squeeze my hand if you're in pain."
I didn't like the fact that they were panicing, I didn't want a panic attack. "There's no need for emergency."
"Are you kidding woman? You'll be unconcious any time soon," Mikey said and got a kitchen clothes and tied my arm.
I hissed again from the pain. "Please, its okay. See I'm fine," I smiled.
Bob ran to us, "The ambulance will be here in 10, you hang in there Nicole. I'll got send the guys out of here."
Mikey was right, I soon fell unconcious. The last thing I saw was Gerard's panicked face.
[/Sorry for the hyperbole
Lol
Now this took me ages to write ppl ><
I think some of you have noticed that I kind stole lines from stuck on you by paramore and make up smeared eyes by automatic loveletter.
Review??]
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