FicWad

Chapter Six - Crash and Burn

Frank came off the stage feeling better than he had done for ages. Playing was his life and being up there with four guys that he considered as the brothers he never had made it all worthwhile. Gerard immediately wrapped his arm around Frank's shoulder as they made their way to the dressing room.

"Did you hear the crowd?" Gerard almost shouted unable to contain the excitement in his voice," That was nuts."

"I lost track a couple of times it was so loud," Frank replied as he grabbed a towel to wipe off the sweat.

"Fucking hell that was mental," Bob said never one to mince his words as he entered the room.

Mikey couldn't help but laugh at Bob,"See when someone threw that bear and it hit Gerard square in the face,"

"ha ha," Gerard mocked, "I totally lost the song,"

"I couldn't stop laughing," Mikey replied.

"Your concern for my welfare is noted little brother,"

Ray walked towards Frank as the others continued to take the piss out of Gerard, "You did well Frank."

"Thanks Ray," Frank acknowledged as he pulled his jacket off.

"You should be grateful it wasn't underwear," Ray added as he joined in the discussion and laughed as Gerard pulled a disgusted face.

"Remember the time he got a bra thrown at him," Frank laughed recalling the moment Gerard looked like he was having some sort of seizure as he tried to get it off him.

Frank knelt down to open his bag but looked up as the room suddenly went quiet, "Come on it was funny," he added as everyone just stared at him.

"How did you do that?" Gerard hesitantly asked pointing towards him.

Frank stood for a moment not understanding what Gerard was saying before he suddenly realised that his arms were bare. A strong feeling of blind panic washed over him as they looked at the cuts on his arm. He froze as he looked down at his arms to see the cut from the broken bottle in his hotel room and the other that he had deliberately done to himself.

"I em, well I, this is going to sound so stupid, this one was when I was sharpening knives for my mom and I em missed the board and my arm took the brunt of it, " Frank said letting the first words just pour out of his mouth, "and this one was the same. I feel so stupid, to do it once is stupid but twice duh and my mom was so angry at me,"

Gerard didn't believe a word of it as he turned to look at the rest of the guys. They each had a look of horror on their faces which they were each failing to mask.

"Hold on, you don't think I actually did this to myself," Frank suddenly said,"What the fuck guys?"

"I believe you Frank," Bob replied stepping towards Frank and knowing that now was not the time to get into this, "We better get moving guys."

Frank was mad, more with himself for getting so carried away that he forgot. He knew they didn't believe him, they had been together too long to hide what they were really thinking. As soon as Worm came to the door to escort them out to the bus Frank was out of the room.

"You guys wanting some time with the fans? there's quite a few out there behind the fence,"

"No," Frank instantly responded ignoring the others as they all agreed to make the effort to say hello.

"Okay, I'll get Frank to the bus and Jai and Danny here will go with you guys," Worm said.

Frank walked out thankful for the tall fence between himself and the fans even though he was just out of touching distance. He despised himself as he heard them shouting for him. They just wanted one moment even just for him to look over so that they could get that picture they craved. He felt his throat tighten and his chest beat harder as he ignored them. The shouting stopped as the others came out and their attention was diverted. He closed his eyes and breathed out a sigh of relief.

"We still love you Frank even if she doesn't."

Those were the words, that simple sentence said so easily and intending to provide comfort. He stopped for a moment as he digested the words. His anger boiling up inside of him as he contemplated them. He was losing it.

"Hey Frank, just keep moving," a voice said as Frank felt himself being dragged round the corner to the bus.

"What the fuck, let me go," Frank yelled pushing the arms away from him.

"So you can go back there and punch out some 14 year old kid," Bob yelled back in sheer frustration.

Frank looked at Bob, horrified at what he had just been thinking.

"You need me Bob?" Worm asked as he watched the interaction between the two of them.

"No, I'll just get him inside," Bob replied pushing Frank towards the bus.

Frank didn't fight this time as Bob quite literally pushed him onto the bus. He didn't wait for Bob as he stomped towards his bunk.He suddenly jerked back as he felt pull his hoodie.

"Not this time Frank," Bob said in a serious tone.

"Just leave me alone," Frank snapped.

"You sound like a whiny kid Frank," Bob snapped back as he found himself getting more frustrated.

"Fuck off," Frank shouted trying to push the larger man away from him with little success.

"You're flipping all over the place," Bob responded grabbing Frank on the arms, "Calm down,"

Frank continued to struggle against Bob's hold but his arm was killing him and he'd used what little strength he had earlier on stage, "Please Bob, please let me go, I'm sorry please." Frank could feel the familiar tightness in his chest as Bob dropped his hands away.

"I know you're sorry but you're starting to scare the shit out of me, I wanna help you not be chasing your ass all over the place," Bob sighed as he slumped down on the seat.

Frank rubbed his arms as he sat on the chair opposite Bob, "I don't know what's going on with me and I know I keep saying that."

"It's all a bit fucked up eh?" Bob replied,"You've been through a lot in such a short period of time Frank."

Frank let his head fall over his knees before he looked back at Bob, "I just don't understand why I'm feeling like this, god, I feel like I'm dying inside and even saying that makes it so much worse."

Bob just wanted to go over and hug him but he held back not wanting to stop Frank as he was finally starting to open up. "Just take your time Frank,"

Frank nodded as he slid further into the chair, "Do I have to call you Dr Phil or something?"

"I was thinking more of Professor but I will let that one side," Bob joked back relieved that bits of the old Frank were still there but being all too aware that Frank would often use this tactic to side step having to talk about something.

Bob noticed Frank as he suddenly became edgy, he could hear the others coming back to the bus. He watched as Frank got to his feet, "No wait Frank,"

"I can't Bob, maybe later," Frank replied as he walked to his bunk as the door swung open.





Ahhh I have that old familiar feeling of not being able to sleep. Back to work after the festive break and I'm totally dreading it. I love the work that I do but my boss is a nightmare, a real bully and seems to get off making everyones life awful. I just suddenly had lots of ideas for this story. My original plan was to update my other story "deadlines" which I will do soon.

Thanks Dondon for reviewing my last chapter I really appreciate it.

Ps) I was right to dread it, happy new year to me from my boss. I didn't break down in front of her though - hurrah.