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Ch.14----- Suddenly My Life Doesn't Seem Such A Waste ((Come What May Moulin Rouge))

Gee's POV

Frank and I walked down the street as the sun shone brightly down on us. I was glad he liked the hoodie. I remember getting that specially handmade for him but for some reason I never gave it to him. It was too big on him but boy did he look adorable. I mean, he looked so fucking hot when he came out of the bathroom. His clothes were simple but the ripped jeans with the collar shirt and skeleton gloves gave him a sexy rugged look. To finish it off, Frank's lustrous hair was slightly hanging over his eyes to make him look like a rebel. When Frank stood in front of me as my eyes were glued on him, I felt this very strange feeling flood over me. A feeling that just knowing Frank was mine (in a sense) was perfect. A feeling so strong that even if I never had sex with him, I would be blissfully happy still. A feeling of love.

"Gee," Frank's sweet voice broke my train of thoughts, "where are we going?" I looked at my angel walking next to me; hand secured tightly in mine. His hair was dancing with the small breeze and I couldn't help but smile at how precious he managed to look while at the same time still holding that strong sex appeal. It was unusually warm for a late October day in Jersey but it was perfect. Frank was perfect; he is perfect.

"Out." I told him and he whined a little. "We're almost there." I told him and he sighed. I may not remember people, but I remember places and my way around. Unless it's someone's house. I had no idea where Frank lived; even though I used to live there myself (or so I was told). "Ta da!" I stopped and frank stared with confusion.

"Gee, this place is long since closed..." He told me.

"Not tonight it's not." I told him with a smile. "Each Halloween they open it for free. Six to midnight."

"How did you know that?" Frank looked to me with a smile that held shock and admiration. "Not even I knew that." I just laughed a little. "Well it's like two."

"I pulled some strings." I told him and Frank hugged me tightly. I'm pretty sure he was trying not to cry.

"Thank you!" Frank said into my chest. I felt good because even if it's only temporary, I know I took away some of the pain consuming Frank. I was one step closer to finding that key.

"Anything for you." I told him, hugging him back then pulling the hood up over his head playfully. "Shall we go inside?" I asked and Frank nodded, grabbing my hand and yanking me towards the large glass doors.

Frank and I were starting over. So, I figured that a good 'first date' would be the movies. Only nothing that was playing sounded interesting to me. Then I remembered the old theater. I knew it was closed but that they occasionally would open it for events. Normally you would have to call like a month ahead but because Frank's birthday happened to be on Halloween when they opened it anyway, I got my old friend Chris to open it early to just us.

I preferred the theater over the cinema anyway. Sure there was only one screen at the theater but the way it looked was far more pleasing. The place was built in the 19th century and had that 'Old English' look to it. Everything had an antique sort of appeal to it. Well except for where the place was modified to today's standards such as the bathrooms. The floor was tile near the concession stand but red carpet everywhere else. Two large wooden doors led to the theater. The walls had pictures of movie posters from the earliest of films as well as other black and white or sepia photos. The building just had a strong romantic feel.

Inside the theater was huge. There was a giant screen on the far wall with long velvet curtains draped on the sides. About two hundred red theater chairs sat in front of the screen in about ten rows; sectioned into three parts. The middle faced the screen directly and the sides were slightly angled towards the middle. But the best part of the theater was the balcony. Another hundred seats rested up there; facing the screen dead on. The view was perfect and it was fun to throw candy over to see who it hits; but that's not what the main of the balcony was. Its main use was to have 'intimate' time with your date. That's exactly why, even though we were the only ones there, Frank and I went up to it.

I led the way to the balcony after waving hello to Chris who was sitting on the concession stand, reading a magazine. He waved back with a smile then headed for the employee stairs which would take him to the little room the projector sat in. I walked along the front of the balcony, between the front row of chairs and the railing, because the railing made a good foot rest. When I made it about half way I fell into one of the chairs and stuck my legs out in front of me; sliding them in between two bars of the railing then sliding down in the seat slightly. Frank followed me then sat on me, his legs dangling on either side of my extended legs. I didn't mind but I thought I would hassle him anyway. "99 other seats up here and you chose to sit on me."

"Best seat in the house." Frank told me, leaning back so his spine was lined up with my body. Frank rested his head on my shoulder and I smiled because he's just too cute. I slid my arms around his body to hold him and he rested his arms on top of mine. I still don't understand how someone so perfect would want to be with me. Not only because I hurt him so bad before but also because I'm messed up. I can't remember anything that happened for about eight years of my life. The moment I started dating Frank which was when I was roughly nineteen to when I woke up in the hospital (I'm 27). I still don't know why I forgot who Mikey was as well as who I was but the rest is all there.

But Frank's seriously like an angel. Not only because he chooses to be with me, but also because when I ask him questions that I was told I once knew the answer to, he is very patient with me and takes time to explain. If he thinks something will upset me then he doesn't tell me. I know I hurt him a lot more than everyone is letting on. I want to remember but at the same time I don't. I just really, really wish I could take those memories away from him. That's why no matter what, I can't let anything happen to Frank again. I have to keep control of myself and take things one step at a time. He's like my porcelain doll that I have to play with carefully because one small slip could completely shatter him. Yet he's too beautiful and intriguing to just leave on the shelf.

By special request, I made Chris dig through their collection of films to find 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' since Frank seems to be so fond of it. He was really happy when he realized that's what we were watching and I held him tightly as the movie played; listening to him hum to the music and mouth the words throughout most of it. It was actually very entertaining. I think I spent more time with my eyes on him then I did the screen. But can you blame me? He's so angelic while at the same time adorable and rough.

When the movie ended, Chris worked on switching it while Frank stood up then turned himself around so he was facing me. Though the theater was dark, I could still see his beautiful hazel eyes sparkle with joy. "This has been the best birthday ever." He told me sweetly, slipping his arms around my neck. Frank leaned towards me then pressed his soft, warm lips to mine. I returned my arms to his waist to hold him; keeping his body close to mine. Frank gently rocked my bottom lip in between his lips, leaning as close to me as he possibly could. I felt my heart start to beat faster and my breathing quicken but not enough to be overly noticeable.

My mouth opened without me really realizing it and Frank pushed his tongue into my mouth; letting go of my lip. Frank was now so close to me that each inhale of oxygen he pulled into his lungs caused his chest to rub against mine a little. My body temperature started slowly climbing and I pulled Frank as close to me as I possibly could; completely ignoring whatever was playing on the screen now. All I cared about was tightly in my arms and sitting on my lap. We breathed through our noses, not wanting to break free from each other. Passion, joy, excitement, and even fear were pumping through me; faster than the blood traveling in my veins.

"Gee;" Frank suddenly pulled away from me, breathing a little quickly himself. At least I wasn't alone. He looked at me and I could see he was afraid for some reason. "Would you be upset if I told you I don't want to go any farther?" He asked me a little hesitantly and fearfully. "I mean, not yet. I-I don't want to rush..."

"Me either." I said softly and Frank's fear seemed to melt away quickly; his face bearing a relieved smile. In all honestly, I was relieved too because I didn't feel too comfortable going any farther yet either. I felt like I was still getting to know Frank. And though I knew I loved him, I just didn't know how much yet. Sex, as enjoyable as it is (yes I was doing it before I met Frank so I remember) is very personal. I don't want us to rush things then have it ruin our relationship because sex should be saved for someone you know is your match. Then, when you do move onto the next level, you become connected. With sex comes trust; we both had to be sure we could trust each other first. "We'll take as much time as we need."

Frank hugged me tightly then kissed me again; only it was soft, quick, and still perfect. "Nothing will ever beat this birthday; this day." He told me quietly.

"Why?" I asked with a little amusement. Surely Frank had more amusing and eventful days then sitting in an old theater with his tongue down someone's throat. I mean, no offense to him, but I surely have. His eyes shone through the darkness as did his radiant smile. Frank leaned his head on my shoulder again to just hold me.

"Because I got the one thing I've been wanting for years." He whispered. I continued to hold him tightly. "I got Gerard back." Frank's voice was soft and gentle. "The real Gerard." I didn't fully understand what Frank meant but I knew he was happy. I knew I made him happy and that put me a few steps closer to helping set his heart free. To helping him feel again. We sat like that in the theater, completely silent, until the movie ended. I held my angel; vowing to make sure nothing ever harmed him again.

Little did I know how hard that was going to be.

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Frank's POV

My twenty fifth birthday has been the best birthday I've ever had hands down. First, I had Gerard to celebrate with; something I've longed for for a few years. Second, he gave me the best hoodie ever. It was from his heart since he had it handmade, had the holiday I shared my birthday with on the back, and Jack Skellington from one of the best movies ever made on the front. Then the movie theater was perfect. I hadn't been to that place since I was a little kid. I remember seeing couples make out and thinking about how nasty that was but doing it with Gerard made me realize just what I was missing out on. The fact that he had them open it early just for us made me love him even more.

But the best part was when I asked Gerard to wait before moving our relationship to the next level, he was very sweet and accepting of it. I could tell that the heat of the moment was quickly pulling us down that road to sex but I wasn't ready to run it yet; I was walking that road at a leisurely pace. It's not that I don't want to have sex with Gerard again, because believe you me I do, I just want to make sure it's the right thing to do; the right time. I had finally gotten the old Gerard back and I couldn't have been happier. So I forgot the movie and spent the rest of the time just holding him; taking it all in. He didn't object though. He just held me back. That's the best feeling ever; being held tightly by someone you love. It really doesn't get better.

"Now what?" I asked Gerard, taking his hand as we left the theater. Gothic kids started to arrive to watch the Halloween movie marathon at the theater. They gave us weird looks since we were leaving but I just ignored them. Nothing but Gerard mattered to me at the moment. He was my main focus. To tell you the truth, I think I cared more about him now than I ever have. But I was still keeping myself in control. I was still being cautious because one thing I've learned quite well is that anything can take a dramatic turn in a blink of an eye. While I believe Gerard wouldn't hurt me this time, I couldn't take any chances. I couldn't let myself end up in that hole again. I had to make sure that at the first sign of Gerard becoming the abusive alcoholic he was before came that I got away from him before things got any worse.

Gerard looked at his watch then looked around before sighing very quietly. "What do you want to do?"

"Nothing complicated." I told him, thinking about it. "The beach isn't far. We could go there." I suggested with a shrug.

"Wherever you want to go, I'll follow." Gerard said with a smile and I couldn't help but smile back at him. He was just so; perfect. Even when we first started dating years ago, he wasn't this concerned about what I thought and felt. I mean, he wasn't completely absorbed in himself but he was close. He still took time out to be with me and he would often ask me what I wanted to do but most of the time it was whatever he wanted. I just went along because that's what you do when you love someone. Now though he kept me at the top of his mind. Like the movies; we watched 'Nightmare Before Christmas' because he knows I love it. The old Gerard whined every time I wanted to watch it.

"Well I'm in no hurry to get home." I told him and Gerard laughed a little. At what I don't know but I didn't concern myself with it. Our fingers were locked tighter than the most secure bank safe in the world and I started to pull him towards the beach which was basically right around the corner. He walked with me, smiling for no reason and humming some tune I didn't recognize. As we walked, Gerard started to swing our arms a little; without even realizing it. I laughed to myself as my arm went forward then back over and over.

The beach was pretty vacant but with it being Halloween, most people were probably taking kids out trick-or-treating. I had my treat already; walking alongside me. The beach was opened until eight and it was a little after six. The sun was setting beyond the water; painting the sky in bold orange, pink, yellow, and some red. Its reflection glistened against the smooth surface of the water and I watched gentle waves crash against the beach while our feet sank into the soft sand. A warm breeze still brushed against us and I thought the scene was absolutely picture perfect.

"Do you know what I want to do really bad?" Gerard asked as we walked the edge of the beach; our feet just barely missing the water.

"What?" I asked.

"I want to throw you into the water." He replied with strong amusement and a slight hint of laughter. I playfully smacked him and he just laughed a little more.

"Gee!" I scolded him, my own voice springing with amusement and laughter. "That would be very mean." I said, somewhat like a ten year old.

"But it looks so tempting!" Gerard told me, soft whining in his voice. "I can easily pick you up."

"Really?" I asked with amused doubt. He nodded, giving me a plotting smile. "Good." I told him, letting go of his hand then sticking my hand on his shoulders; jumping onto his back. "You can carry me." I said with a wide grin, sticking my arms around his neck and my legs around his body. Gerard laughed and put his arms around my legs to hold me up.

"Brat." He said as he continued to walk. I rested my chin on his shoulder and relaxed as he carried me. "You know the bad thing about this is I can take you wherever I want." Gerard told me as though he was planning something. But at that point I didn't care. I had the best day of my life already and nothing could really spoil it. The sun continued to fall behind the water as Gerard carried me along the beach. The breeze began to pick up and the temperature drop. Gerard's hair started to attack my face so I made him put me down. "You ready to go back home?"

"I suppose." I told him, pulling the hood of my new hoodie over my head. He pushed it back down. "Gee, I'm cold." I whined. Gerard reached into his pocket and pulled a small box out. I felt my heart pick up in speed a little because I had no idea what he was doing.

"Shut your eyes." He told me and I obeyed; trying not to fall over. A few moments later Gerard's hands were around my neck and I realized he was putting a necklace on me which was weird because I've never really worn necklaces. Still, it was from Gerard and I wasn't going to object. "Ok, you can open them." I did and then I rested the necklace in my hand to examine it. It was half a necklace actually; well half a charm. The thin chain held half a circle that had a tiny picture of Sally reaching her arms out to the break in the necklace. She was standing on the curling mountain. Gerard reached his hand into his shirt then took the little half circle from my hand. A moment later he showed me a complete circle. I looked at it and realized it was the ending scene in 'The Nightmare Before Christmas'. Gerard wore the other half of the circle around his neck; with Jack painted on it. When together, it was Jack and Sally holding hands.

"Gee..." I said quietly as I stared at it.

"I didn't know which half to give you. If you want to trade-"

"No, it's perfect." I said, throwing my arms around his body and shoving my face into his chest. He dropped the necklaces and the heavy circle dangled between our slightly parted bodies. "You're perfect." Gerard pulled the hood over my head again then rested his arms around me.

"It's getting really cold out now babe." Gerard told me and my heart jumped. He called me 'babe'; I hadn't heard that word in years either. I didn't mind though; he could use whatever pet name he wanted. He was mine and I was his; that's all that mattered at the moment. I eventually just agreed that it was getting cold. "You want me to carry you again?" His voice was gentle and soothing. I nodded and then climbed onto his back; turning my face so it pointed outward as he carried me back towards the road. My head rested on Gerard's shoulder while my arms dangled in front of him; just barely holding on. I felt like a limp doll; and he was my savior. Like he had pulled me out of a trash can and was carrying me home to fix me again. I felt fixed. Slightly.

"How much farther?" I asked him as I tried not to fall asleep. Something about having him carry me with the moon shining brightly in the sky made me tired. I heard kids laughing and calling to each other; no doubt still collecting sugary treats from my neighbors. Luckily, Gerard remembered where he was going. I lifted my head up a few times to make sure we were on the right path. I knew he still couldn't remember some things real well; my house being one of them. I didn't blame him though. His memory took a nasty beating the night of his crash.

That night still swirls in my mind. Never did I think I would ever be this close to Gerard again; not after everything that's happened. I haven't had the urge to drink at all since I ended up going to Mikey's in the middle of the night a few days ago. The only thing that keeps plaguing me now is the awful memories. I hoped with all my soul that Gerard wasn't having those memories. But I knew he wasn't. The night he slept in my bed, he did have a nasty memory. He woke me up and I helped lull him back to sleep. They scared him and I didn't blame him for seeking comfort. I just happened to learn how deal with them on my own since that's what I've had to do for the past year.

When it came to nightmares, Gerard was like a small child. He needed someone to be very close to him, telling him that it was ok and to go back to sleep. I felt good doing that for him. It gave me a sense of purpose again. It made me feel like he needed me to survive; and not as his rag doll this time either. Every time Gerard touched me it was gentle and soft instead of hard and painful. He spoke to me soothingly instead of harsh and slurring. Not once has Gerard mentioned anything about getting alcohol or about doing drugs. He hasn't even mentioned smoking or showed any interest in any of the three. But he wasn't changed either. It's like the accident wiped away his bad habits along with his memory. Sure they took the music and comic love away from him too but they took the drug and alcohol dependency. That's what really matters. Gerard's life was in danger before but now it was gaining more leverage.

However, I knew it wasn't going to be this sweet and simple forever. Gerard's memory was flooding back to him and I was waiting for him to remember the drugs. To remember beating me and even to remember the time I ended up in the hospital. I mean, we had to cancel concerts because of that. It almost wiped out our tour all together. But what I was most afraid of was him remembering Bert. The bastard stole Gerard from me once and I didn't want it to happen again. I knew Bert would come back to Gerard's memory though because the two were best friends who were always drunk and or high when in each other's presence. They were practically secret lovers.

Yes, I knew my boyfriend was fucking someone else. But I kept my mouth shut at the time because I had so much other shit to worry about with him that if he wanted to go fuck someone then I wasn't stopping him. I refused to have sex with him by that point anyway. It became unpleasureable and basically painful. A lot of the pain was emotional but there of course was the physical pain too. Still, I couldn't leave him. Because whenever I thought about it, whenever I tried it, he would become sweet and beg me to stay. He would tell me he would stop and he would apologize for everything. This would last a few days then he would become violent again. Yet I fell into the trap every time. I couldn't stop myself and I wouldn't let anyone pull me out. That's why this time I have to do all I can to keep Bert and Gerard away from each other.

"You still awake?" Gerard asked me.

"Kinda." I mumbled, sighing and holding onto him a little tighter. "We close?"

"We're here." Gerard told me with a little amusement, walking up the path to the house. It didn't even phase me that Gerard just opened the door. I knew he didn't have a key and I always lock it when I leave the house. I mean, I live in Jersey. I have to take every precaution that I can. Suddenly lights flew on and practically blinded me.

"Surprise!" Ray, Bob, and Mikey all yelled at me. I screamed. I'll admit it. It scared the fuck out of me. But like I said, I live in Jersey. Even my friend unexpectingly showing up in my house when I'm not home freaked me out. Well Ray kind of lives here. But I forgot about that. Gerard laughed and set me on the ground.

"What the hell?" I asked, trying to slow my heart rate.

"I told you we were celebrating." Gerard said, pulling my hood off my head again. "I figured we could have another sleep over." He said. He looked to Mikey who looked sadly back to Gerard through his fake smile for me. "On better terms this time though." Gerard said as he stared at Mikey.

"So after years of doing nothing you all just decide to start again?" I asked with slight shock and curiosity.

"It's not that we forgot..." Bob replied a little hesitantly.

"Sure Bryar." I replied with a smile. "My birthday is probably the easiest of the five of ours to remember and you all forget." I crossed my arms and pretended to be upset. "I shouldn't love you all anymore." Gerard suddenly picked me up; half carrying me and half dragging me to the kitchen where the others were.

"But you do." Ray replied with a smile. "We actually just figured you didn't want to do anything on your birthday." He said and I gave him a grateful look while fighting Gerard to let me go. Most years I would end up at Ray's and he would do something with me. But like I asked before, he kept quiet. Basically Bob was the only one I was unsure of. I knew Ray and Mikey knew. I knew Gerard knew. And I definitely knew. But I'm not sure about Bob. Not that it really mattered anymore.

Gerard finally let go of me when I bit his hand. He yelled at me but was laughing so I knew he wasn't mad. Even though my birthday had been perfect before my surprise party, it just managed to get better. We all had a lot of fun; making a huge mess. Cake ended up everywhere. Candy ended up everywhere. Cookies, popcorn, and every other snack food we had ended up everywhere. Basically, we trashed my house. But I didn't care. Because I hadn't had this much fun in years.

We played video games, watched movies, talked about the good ol' days, and sucked helium. Too lazy to clean or move by the end of the night, we all just passed out in the living room strewn across each other. All of us needed to bathe but that would wait until morning. It's like we were kids again. It's was perfect.

For half the night. Around two am Gerard woke me up and everything that happened seemed to crash. My heart was racing and I felt like I wanted to throw up. All because of two little words that came out of his mouth. Two words that made me want to scream and cry. The worst two words that he could possibly utter on what was the best day of my life. I didn't blame him though. I knew it was coming. I just wasn't ready for it.

"Who's Bert?"



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A/N--- The necklace that I described, I totally have it. I got it from Hot Topic. I was going to provide a picture but the store doesn't carry it anymore so I can't. =/ I have Sally and my friend has Jack. It's magnetic (and I totally stick it to my braces)

So yeah. Poor Frankie. His perfect day was ruined.

Comments? Please? I'm becoming a comment whore. xD

xoxo Tabi