FicWad

Chapter 15---- Covering the Cuts and the Bruises ((Oh Mother Christina Aguilera))

Gerard's POV

I stared at Frank with curiosity. I had a dream/memory, whatever the fuck, where he told me to go be with Bert instead of him. It made me really upset. But I didn't know who Bert was. So I woke up Frank to ask him because I tried getting back to sleep but couldn't and he always made me feel better. Except, he wasn't making me feel better. He was making me feel a lot worse.

"Frankie...?" I asked as he stared at me. I saw fear in his eyes. What was he afraid of? Who was Bert? Did he hurt Frank? I reached my hand out to touch Frank but he quickly jerked away from me. I was shocked but becoming scared myself. Frank's eyes radiated fear and he shook his head at me. "W-what?"

"Ray..." Frank crawled on the floor of the living room to find his friend. "Ray!" I could hear the fear in Frank's voice. My heart was starting to pick up speed. I did it; I broke Frank. I should have waited and just asked Mikey or Ray or even Bob. But no; I had to wake up Frank and ask him just as things were starting to get good for him again. Now he wouldn't even let me touch him.

"Wha...?" I heard Ray mumble.

"Ray, help me!" Frank said and Ray instantly shot up, grabbing Frank by the shoulders and staring into his eyes.

"What happened?" Ray asked him quickly. Frank put his arms tightly around Ray; burying his face in Ray's shoulder. I heard soft crying and Ray put his arms around Frank, shushing him softly. Ray looked harshly to me. "What happened?" He snapped harshly but quietly.

I got up to walk closer to Ray but that only made Frank cling to Ray tighter so Ray put his hand up to motion to me to stay still. "I-I asked who Bert was..." I told Ray with hurt. He glared at me with shock and fear. What was everyone so afraid of? What did this Bert person do?

"You need to wake up your brother and have him take you to his place." Ray told me. I stared at him.

"W-why?" I asked hesitantly.

"Just do it!" Ray snapped so I made my way to Mikey and kneeled down.

"Mikey;" I gently shook him, tears coming to my eyes which I fought to hold back. "Mikey, you have to get up."

"'s middle nigh'..." Mikey moaned at me, turning his face away.

"Mikey, you need to take me to your apartment." I told Mikey and he sleepily pulled himself into a sitting position.

"Why?" He asked through an exhausted yawn.

"Ray said so." I told Mikey who looked to Ray, saw Frank, and looked harshly back at me. "I didn't do anything!" I said with frustration. Bob was still asleep and by the looks of it, he needed to stay that way. "I asked a question!"

"In the middle of the fucking night?!" Mikey shot at me.

"I couldn't sleep!" I said, a few tears sliding down my face now. "All I did was ask who Bert was!" Mikey's jaw dropped slightly and his eyes widened. This was getting old fast. I wanted to know who the fuck Bert was and why everyone had shocked reactions when I mentioned his name. I broke my fucking boyfriend, again, pissed Ray off, and apparently pissed Mikey off too. It's not my fault I couldn't remember anything. I didn't ask to bash my head against the steering wheel.

"Find your coat and shoes." Mikey said, rubbing his eyes quickly then locating his glasses which he crammed onto his face. He stood up then grabbed my arm to yank me up too. "Now!" He snapped harshly at me so I left the living room. I still heard Frank crying. My stomach knotted and my heart twisted as I made my way to the door. I reached down my shirt, slid the necklace off, and laid it on the little table next to the door. I obviously ruined whatever relationship Frank and I could have had. "Car." Mikey said, opening the door.

"What did I do wrong?" I asked Mikey as we walked through the bitter cold air to his car.

"You made him slip into the worst memories of his life." Mikey told me, sliding his key into the lock on the door then opening the door and unlocking mine. I got into the car and sat down, shutting the door and still slightly crying. "Bert and you were once friends; or that's what he told you." Mikey said as he started this car and pulled out of the driveway, onto the pitch black road. "Because of Bert, you almost killed Frank." My heart skipped a beat and my stomach tried to come out my mouth as I slid down in the seat, regretting for bringing that pain back to Frank. I obviously was a mile back from trying to help him. "You have to stay away from him for awhile until he calms down." That was the last thing Mikey told me for the remainder of the morning.

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Frank's POV

"Shhh...calm down." Ray told me softly, rubbing my back. "He's gone now." I kept my face buried in his shoulder as I cried. I couldn't help it. The word 'Bert' sent all the memories of Gerard beating me racing through my head. All the memories of fights, abandonment, and even the hospital again. "Why don't you lay on the couch and I'll make you some tea." Ray told me quietly.

I nodded and he helped me stand up, holding onto me as I walked to the couch. Ray gently laid me down on the cushions, pulling a blanket over me, then headed for the kitchen to make some tea. I pulled my knees to my chest, gripping the blanket tightly around my shoulders. I was shaking. Quick, short, memories of everything flashed through my mind and I couldn't erase it; I couldn't stop thinking about them.

"Gerard!" I cried. "Stop it!" I stuck my arms out to try and defend myself but I couldn't. He was too strong; too high and too drunk to even realize what he was doing. Fully at least.

"Dun you tell m' wha ta do!" Gerard slurred angrily at me. He drove his fist into my side again. Sharp jolts of pain ran through my body and I squeezed my eyes shut. Crying only made him do it more so I tried to hold back the tears but couldn't. They forced their ways through my tightly locked eye lids, running down my sore face. I'm pretty sure I didn't have any bruises on my face; just a few cuts. "I do wha I wan'!"

"Ok!" I told him, trying to get free but couldn't. Gerard was half on me. "Just please, stop it!" He sat up and stared at me. Gerard climbed of me and I pulled myself into a half sitting position; wiping my eyes.

"I'm sorry..." He said a little softer. This is how it always went. He would beat the fuck out of me then apologize; then often beat the fuck out of me again.

"I-it's o-ok..." I told Gerard shakily. "C-can I go to b-bed now?" I asked him. Gerard stared at me then nodded slowly.

"Good night Frankie." Gerard told me a little fearfully but with a smile.

"Good night babe." I replied, desperate to keep him happy. I stood up and started for the bedroom when he grabbed my wrist. I winced and waited for it to start again.

"No kiss?" He asked with a pout. I smiled slightly, again to keep him calm, and bent down. My lips pressed up against his and I could taste the heavy alcohol he had consumed, making me want to throw up. I pulled away a moment later. "You still love me?" He asked fearfully.

"Of course Gee." I told him. I did still love him; no matter how much he hurt me. "Sleeping with me tonight or on the couch?"

"'m gonna go t'Berts." Gerard said with a little laughter. My heart became a little heavy but I just nodded, smiled, and went to the bedroom; locking the bedroom as well as bathroom door just in case. I couldn't take anymore tonight. My gut was on fire so I walked to the mirror in the bedroom and lifted my shirt up hesitantly. Deep purplish bruises lined the surface of my skin and I winced as I looked at them.

"Love marks..." I lied to myself to try and make it seem less threatening. "They're just love marks..." I lowered my shirt, disgusted by the way I looked, and went to the bed. I pulled the blanket back and slid myself onto the bed, resting my head on a pillow and yanking the blanket over myself. Like every other night, I stained my pillow with heavy tears as I cried myself to sleep.

"Here Frankie." I opened my eyes and looked up to Ray. He held a glass cup in his hand. I sat up and he handed me the glass. It smelt like warm sweet strawberries. "For relaxation." Ray told me with a smile.

"T-thanks." I said as I raised the rim to my lips. The warm drink was sweet and in all actuality it did relax me a little. "S-sit..." I told Ray and he did. He sat on the couch next to me and watched me, tucking the blanket around my lap. In no time I finished the tea and Ray took the cup from me, setting it on the table.

"Better?" Ray asked with a smile and I shook my head, the tears slipping out again. Ray sighed softly and pulled his legs onto the couch, sitting with his legs crossed. Ray patted his lap and I crawled to him, climbing into his lap and resting my head against his shoulder. Ray pulled the blanket around us and hummed the tune to 'Cancer' because he knew how much I loved it. Ray wrapped his muscular arms around my body, holding me tightly as he hummed because he knew I loved that too. I loved being in someone's arms. It made me feel safe.

I shut my eyes and listened to Ray, the occasional tear still sliding down my cheek. Ray gently rocked me as though I was a small child and I felt my heart rate slow a little. Ray always took care of me. He was my best friend. My angel. Gerard was my fallen angel. Without either, I wouldn't be alive.

"You ok Frank?" Bob asked, his eyebrows pulling together as he looked at me.

"Yeah." I lied with a small smile. "Just don't feel the greatest; as usual." Bob still stared at me but sighed heavily and dropped the matter.

"My poor Frankie gets sick all the time." Gerard said what sounded like a mixture of concern and sarcasm. His arms rested around my waist and every time he increased his grip, I would wince a little unintentionally. That's what Bob noticed. I couldn't get off Gerard though. He wouldn't let me. Every time we sat, I had to sit on his lap. "Don't you babe?" Gerard asked me, kissing my neck.

"Mhm." I mumbled in response to him. We were all sitting on the tour bus, waiting to go to the next venue. The bus was being loaded with the last of our equipment and then we would be off. "Gee, can I go lay down?" I asked him. I had gotten to the point where I didn't want him to touch me anymore. At all. Most of the time when his skin touched mine, it was in a forceful, painful way.

"You'll feel better if you stay on me." Gerard said with cockiness. I exhaled rather loudly, leaning my head back to rest against his shoulder. "You're probably just exhausted from the show." He said.

"Do you want some Tylenol or something?" Mikey offered and I smiled but shook my head.

"I'm fine." I told them. They all just stared for a moment then moved on because I was known to be sick often. Usually just a little nausea and maybe a slight fever but that's about it. "Just a headache."

"Why don't you relax Frankie?" Gerard cooed in my ear. "I'm right here to hold you."

"And we're too." Ray added. Everyone gave him a questioning look but I gave him a grateful one. He knew Gerard hurt me, not to the full extent, but he knew I didn't feel safe around Gerard anymore. "You know in case you both fall asleep or something." Ray tried to make up an excuse quickly.

"Promise you won't move?" I asked Gerard. I honestly did have a pretty bad headache. That's why I wanted to lie down. That and I wanted to get away from Gerard. But he always ends up in my bunk or pulls me into his so it wouldn't last long anyway.

"Promise." Gerard said sweetly; like actually sweetly and not just faking it or a drug cover up. The real Gerard actually broke free for short second and I closed my eyes, drifting off to sleep with his arms tightly around me.

When I woke up, I was alone on the couch with a blanket on me. Ray was sitting at the small table. "I didn't want to try and put you in the bunk because I didn't want you to hit your head or something." Ray said with a small smile. I sat up and rubbed my eyes a little, yawning. "Gerard's in his bunk; as are Mikey and Bob."

"What about you?" I asked Ray sleepily as I got off the couch and sat by him.

"I told you I wouldn't let him do anything as long as I was around." Ray told me with a smile.

"Thanks for earlier." I mumbled, yawning more. I was still incredibly tired. But then again, I get like absurd amounts of energy on the stage that I use a lot faster than I should. "I honestly don't feel safe around him anymore." Ray opened his mouth but I wouldn't let him speak. "And I'm not leaving him."

"I just don't understand Frank." Ray said with a little aggravation. "He hurts you, you don't want to be near him because you don't feel safe, but you won't leave him."

"Downfall of love." I said with a heavy voice. "I can't leave him because I love him." I pulled the sleeve of my shirt down. "And nothing will change that." My body was covered in bruises now and I wouldn't change or let my skin show in front of anyone; not even Gerard.

"Is your stomach ok?" Ray asked me. "I saw you keep writhing with pain when Gerard moved his arms." I nodded and tried to stay awake. "Can I at least see how bad it is?" I shook my head to him. "Frank, I need to know what I'm against here. You won't leave him but I don't want it to get worse. Please?" I sighed heavily and stood up, pulling my shirt up just enough for him to see the deep purple bruises. "Frank..." Ray said with shock, gently running his finger across my stomach. I even winced from that. Everything hurt. "Sorry." He said, noticing my pain and withdrawing his finger. "You want pain killers?"

"No." I told him, shoving my shirt back down. "I think I'm going to lie down in my bunk. You need to go to sleep too." I told him.

"Not until you're awake again with Mikey or Bob." Ray told me, drinking some more of his coffee. I smiled a little at him then walked to the bunks, making sure Gerard was asleep before carefully sliding into mine and passing out moments later.

"Hey Frankie, gotta wake up now." A soft gentle voice broke my dreams. I opened my eyes and sat up, realizing I was still on Ray's lap. "Feel any better now?" He asked me and I nodded, rubbing my eyes.

"Thanks." I mumbled, trying not to yawn. "Sorry I fell asleep..."

"It's ok. Just as long as you feel better." Ray told me calmly. "Want some more tea? Or coffee?" I shook my head and then rested it against Ray's shoulder again; my eyes half open. "How about something to eat?"

"I just want to sit here right now with your arms around me." I told him a little sternly but he didn't say anything. Ray returned his arms to holding me like I asked and I just concentrated on keeping my breathing steady and my head as clear as I could keep it. "Why'd it have to be yesterday?" I asked Ray.

"Something had to of triggered it." He told me gently. "Mikey informed him that he needs to stay away from you for a bit." I nodded slightly. I didn't want to do that to Gerard but after last night, I really freaked out. My heart was racing and all I could think was he was going to hurt me. That's why when he tried to touch me I jerked away and woke Ray up. Ray said he would protect me; and he did. He told Gerard to go away for a bit. "You'll have to talk to him eventually though; when you're ready."

"Why?" I asked a little fearfully. I didn't want to talk about it. Talking about it was like reliving it. Living it was more than enough.

"Because he'll need to know what he did to you so he doesn't do it again." Ray told me, pulling the blanket up some more. "I know we've been saying 'no' the whole time, but he'll have to know about the drugs and how he beat you. It's the only way we'll have a chance of preventing it."

"What if he wants to talk to Bert?" I asked him quietly.

"Then we let him." I raised my head and looked Ray directly in the eyes. They were soft, gentle, relaxing, and protective. "We just keep careful watch on him. We don't let him alone with you and he doesn't stay here until we know for sure he won't fall into that life again."

"What if he does?" I asked hesitantly. Bob had yet again left while I was asleep which made me sad because I was dying to have a chance to catch up with him again. Still, today probably wouldn't have been best anyway. I wasn't in the mood for talking.

"Then we know he doesn't want to be with you." Ray told me calmly but sadly. I knew it was true. He would have to learn that he would choose me or his drugs and alcohol. "But not matter what, I won't let him hurt you again." I smiled at Ray, returning my head to his shoulder until I had to move because he had to pee.

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A/N---- before y'all start makin assumptions, Ray IS NOT in love with Frank in this story; and visa versa. he's just the one who takes care of Frank and vows not to let Gerard hurt Frank again.

xoxo Tabi