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Gerard’s POV..

Mikey and Frankie had come stumbling into the room and I glared at my brother.

"You shouldn't be up Frankie" I said, frowning in disapproval.
"I'm okay Gee, I wanted to come and find you and plus, I am starving!" he said cutely.

I couldn't help but smile at him, ignoring Mikey who shouldn't let him come down in the first place.
"So what you want to eat?" I asked Frank.
"Um..." he thought for a minute
"Angel delight!" he said squealing and grinning.
"Uh...sure..I think we have some" I said, opening a cupboard and making it for him.

"What you wanting Mikey?" I said with a slightly harsher tone.
"Uh nothing...I’m...not uh hungry" he mumbled, not meeting my eyes.
"Mikey you have to eat three meals a day, you know that, until you get better" I muttered to him.
"I'm fucking fine Gerard, just leave it" he snapped and stared at the ground.

I looked away and back at Frankie, who looked extremely confused.
I finished making his angel delight and handed the bowl to him.

He took it and jumped up in excitement, stumbling and falling.
He grabbed Mikey’s wrist to try and steady himself but Mikey flinched away quickly, a look of agony written on his face as he held his wrist tightly around his chest, meeting my eyes for a split second before they filled with tears and he ran out.

I knew exactly what he had done and he wasn't going admit it.

I picked up Frankie, who was now crying because he had spilt his angel delight all over the floor and cause he thought he had upset Mikey.

"Ssshh its okay honey, Mikey will be alright, I need to go see him though, will you be okay if I sit you here" I said softly, making him more angel delight and sitting him firmly on a chair.

He happily sat swinging his legs and I handed him a new bowl of angel delight, kissing his little forehead and leaving the kitchen.

I walked into Mikey's room, slowly opening the door.
The first thing that hit me was the smell; the thick smell of metallic blood was lingering throughout the room and I tried to focus properly and prepare myself for what I was going to see.

He was lying in the far corner of the room, blood dripping from both of his wrists, his fingers slightly curled around a small blade.
I kneeled down next to him, holding my sleeve to his wrists and checking for his pulse.

I knew the routine, I had done it before, but this time was one of the worst, it refused to stop bleeding and Mikey was drifting in and out of consciousness.

"Mikey...hold on..please baby, just stay awake, I'm gonna get you sorted, just hold on baby" I said to him urgently.
"Gerard, its my fault, just leave me" he mumbled

I knew Mikey had a way of blaming himself for everything and he was punishing himself for Frank.
"Its not your fault Mikey, it isn't, just please, hold on" I cried, desperately trying to stop the bleeding.

I looked around the room for something to hold to his arms and my eyes caught an incredibly upset Frankie standing in the doorway, his face pale and his eyes stained in tears.

"Gee.." He whispered
"Frankie! Shit. Honey please don't worry, its okay, he is going to be fine" I said to him, starting to panic now, losing control of Mikey but having to keep Frank from breaking in front of me.

I turned to Mikey, his wrists still gushing with blood...I was losing him.
I started crying and didn't even look to see what this was doing to Frankie.
"Please Mikey, please, baby, I need you, don't give up, not now" I cried

I lay holding my sleeve tightly on his arms and making sure he continued to breath, trying hard to keep myself together and Frankie was still standing out the corner of my eye.

Finally the bleeding slowed and I sighed in relief but it wasn't over yet, Mikey had lost a lot of blood and it was going to take a while for him to get over this, especially when he finds out that Frankie saw it.

I lifted his skinny, fragile body onto the bed and went to get bandages for his wrists from the bathroom.
I stopped at Frankie standing in the doorway, his face extremely pale, tears trickling down his face silently, he was frozen to the spot.
"Frankie honey, its okay, the worst is over" I said and took his cold hand to lead him through to my room.

"No Gee..I..I..I wanna stay.." He said softly in a shaky voice.
I dropped his hand and kissed his still lips before going to the bathroom.

I opened up the bathroom cabinet and pulled out the big pile of bandages that we had gotten for the same reason before.

I wrapped them firmly around Mikey's wrists and kissed his cheek, then turning to Frankie and taking his hand to sit on the bed with me next to Mikey.

"He just needs to sleep it out now sweetie" I said quietly and pushed the hair out of Mikey’s face, he looked so worryingly peaceful and I took his hand tightly in mine while wrapping my arms gently around Frankie.

The worst was over and I begged him to be able to get over this.
I wasn't sure if I could deal with it like the last time.
He had only just begun to get better.

I lay next to Mikey, Frankie cuddled into my chest, I could hear his muffled sobs but there was nothing I could do, I just lay, holding him tight and checking Mikey every few minutes to make sure he was still okay.

Frankie fell asleep, cuddled into me but I was far too panicked to even think of sleeping.
A short time later, Mikey woke up, he stirred and turned to face me, his eyes slowly opening.

I watched as he blinked a few times, not remembering a thing then it came back to him and he went shockingly pale, glancing towards me and a sound asleep Frankie.

"Gerard..I-" he began but I stopped him
"Mikey, please, please believe me, it wasn't your fault, it wasn't, please, I can't stand to see you hurting yourself like this...and its just about killed Frankie to see you in that state" I whispered to him

His eyes brimmed with tears
"Frank saw me?" he said, already starting to cry softly
"Yeah...I'm sorry, he came in when I was trying to help you" I replied

He covered his face in his hands and curled up tightly.
"Mikey, baby its alright, he is just worried about you, none of us want to see you get hurt like this" I assured him but I could tell that as always he wasn't listening.

I took his hand in mine, delicately pulling it off his face so that he would meet my eyes.
Frankie turned and opened is eyes, gazing up at me and then to Mikey.

He almost jumped on my brother, hugging him close and a small smile appeared on Mikey's face as he closed his eyes and cuddled into Frankie.
"I'm so glad you are okay Mikey" frankie mumbled and sat up, crossing his legs on the bed.

I noticed that Mikey's bandages were now soaked through with blood and needed changed so I got up and went to get some new ones and returned a few minutes later.

I peeled off the bloodstained ones, revealing the various protruding lacerations that he had slashed across his pale wrists.

I heard Frankie gasp from behind me and the sight made me shiver, my fingers shook as I tried to wrap the new bandages around his wrists and he refused to look at either of us.

It was getting late and I realised how hungry I was, getting up from the bed and helping Frankie up too, he couldn't take his eyes off Mikey's wrists.
"Mikey come get something to eat with us, you must be starving" I said to him softly, holding out my hand.

"Nah I'm just tired, I'll get something later" he muttered
I didn't believe him but I couldn't start on at him when he was in this state.

"just be sure you do Mikey, you need to eat" I said to him, frowning and walking out of his room with Frankie.
"Will Mikey be alright by himself?" Frankie asked worriedly.

"Yeah he will be fine honey" I said and took him downstairs
We heated up a pizza and sat down in the living room.
We nibbled at the pizza and Frankie looked up at me with a cheeky smile across his face.

"Are you ticklish?" he asked
"No.." I lied, a smile giving me away
"I don't believe you" he teased and lunged forward, jumping on me, tickling me from head to foot, giggling as I fell to the floor laughing.
He leaned over me, still making me laugh uncontrollably and he was still giggling.

He pressed his lips against mine, silencing me and putting his hands on my neck.
I put my hands on his thighs and returned the kiss, my fingers running up to his hips and then his waist.
He let out a tiny moan and kissed me harder, moving his hands to each side of my face, his fingers tracing my hairline and pushing my hair back.

My own hands moved underneath his t-shirt and up his chest, lightly tracing over all his bruises and making his breathing quicken.
I started to pull his t-shirt off but he pulled away sharply.
"I can't, I'm sorry, I can't. I can't. I can't." He muttered to himself, shaking his head violently, tears forming in his eyes.

"Its okay baby, its okay ssshh" I whispered to him, sitting up and hugging him while he shook in my arms.
Once he had calmed down I took him upstairs and pulled out my comic books, sitting with him while he flicked through them, keeping him calm and hugging him tightly.

I kissed his cheek and went to check on Mikey.
I opened his door slightly, finding it empty and a sick feeling building up in the pit of my stomach.

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A/N: thanks to CaroBECKETT for reviewing my last chapter, i'm glad you like it. this chapter is just showing how everything is affecting Mikey and the end is coming soonish. maybe a few more chapters i think. how is it so far? review and let me know what you think. the more reviews, the quicker my updates come cause i am finally past my writers block yay!
xoxo Stazzia