FicWad

Gerard’s POV

The bathroom door was unlocked but there was someone in there.
I knocked quietly and heard what sounded like someone throwing up.
A shiver went down my spine and I slowly opened the door.

"Mikey?" I called
He was leaned over the toilet, in the middle of sticking three fingers down his throat, throwing up what looked like blood as he hadn't eaten for days.
He turned around, his tear stained, pale face was still crying and gagging.
"Gerard, I am so sorry" he whispered
"Baby, I don't know what to say anymore" I cried
"You don't need to help me.." He mumbled
"I'm your brother, I can't leave you like this" I said, kneeling down next to him and cradling him in my arms.

"Please Gerard, I can't take it when you are nice to me, just punch me again, give me what I deserve" he sobbed
"Baby you don't deserve that, ever. I was an asshole, you didn't deserve that, you deserve the whole wide world and more, you saved Frankie's life baby" I mumbled

I helped him get cleaned up and took him through to my room.
Frankie was standing in the middle of the room with my hat on that was far to big and was covering his eyes.

He tilted his head up so he could see me from under my hat, making me smile at how adorable he really was.

"I have to go home Gee.." He mumbled and my smile dropped
"Let him go...he needs space Gerard" Mikey whispered to me, seeing my face.
But Mikey didn't know what Frank's dad was like.

"Mmkay sweetie but call me later and let me know everything’s okay" I said shakily.
He gave me a weak smile and hugged me.

"I'm used to it Gee, it will be okay. You just look after Mikey" he whispered softly in my ear.

"Me and Gerard could come with you Frankie, you shouldn't be walking on your own anyway" Mikey suggested and smiled at me
"Uh okay but you have to be careful" Frankie replied.

There frank went again, telling us to be careful except this time, I knew what he meant.
I got Mikey's warmest jacket and helped him put it on while also grabbing one of my own jackets for Frankie who put it on, having to roll up the sleeves as it was far too large for the tiny boy.

We all shuffled to Frankie's house and he pushed open the door, the lock still broken and he walked in with me behind him.
I held Mikey's hand tightly, I didn't want him to witness Frankie's dad like I had.

"Dad?" Frankie called through the house.
Nobody answered but I heard somebody thundering around upstairs.
He came storming down the stairs and caught sight of me and Mikey.
"Where the fuck have you been!" he spat
"I was...at Gee's" he said quietly
He looked at me and Mikey and glared at Frankie.

"You should have been cleaning this fucking filthy house instead of being with you faggot friends, you don't deserve any friends, faggots don't get friends! You fucking disgust me!" he shouted at Frankie, causing tears to fall from my baby's eyes.
I had had enough.
"Why can't you clean your own fucking house!" I shouted back, standing next to Frankie.
"You fucking cheeky fag!" his dad spat at me, raising his hand to hit me but Frank jumped in front of me, pushing me back.

"No don't!" Frankie screamed and took the hit for me. His father landed the hit right across Frankie's already cut face, sending him knocking to the floor, screaming in pain.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing!" his father spat at him, kicking him hard in his stomach as Frankie cried in agony.
"Go Gee...please" Frankie croaked, his eyes desperate and pleading.
"I'm not leaving you Frankie" I protested
"Come on Gerard, he knows what he is doing, just this once, think about him" Mikey whispered to me, pulling me towards the door.

I shuffled to the door, not breaking my gaze with Frankie as he lay crumpled on the floor, his father landing his foot continuously into his stomach.
"I'll fucking teach you to interfere faggot!" I heard his dad shout as Mikey pulled me out the door.

I didn't get further than the end of the street before realizing what was happening to Frankie now because of me.
I collapsed onto the ground, not wanting to move, I didn't deserve someone as beautiful and unselfish as Frankie, I didn't deserve him to be taking all this pain for me.

Mikey looked at me with hopeless eyes.
He curled his arms around me and tried to pull me to my feet.

"Just leave me Mikey, I don't deserve your help" I cried
"Gerard, you can't do that, Frank will be okay, it will hurt him more if he sees you get hurt" Mikey replied shakily, holding back tears, I knew as well as he did that Frankie would be anything but okay.

I managed to pull myself to my feet and walk with Mikey holding my hand tight, to my house and to my great disappointment, my parents were home.

Mikey tensed next to me and I gripped his hand.
"Its okay baby, I've got your back" I assured him as we walked towards the kitchen, hanging up Mikey's jacket on the way.

I pushed open the kitchen door slowly and saw my parents sitting calmly at the table, they weren't smiling.
My mom looked up at me, a look of disappointment across her face.

"Gerard, we need to talk" she said, so calmly it was scary.
She gestured to the seat next to her and Mikey turned to leave without a word.

"You too Mikey" she said firmly, pointing to the other empty seat.
We both sat down nervously and I kept my eyes fixed away from my parents, taking worried glances at Mikey who was staring into his lap.

"Well where should we start" my dad said
"Oldest first?" he asked mom
"Sounds like a good idea" my mom replied, looking towards me.

"Gerard, you have been suspended from school, do you realise that? We have spent the past two days assuring the school that you will be back as soon as possible and you haven't even showed face around the house!" she said tiredly.
"I have just had some stuff to deal with" I snapped
"Damn right Gerard! Do you have the slightest idea what you have done to that boy? How much danger you have put him in?" she continued

I wish she would quit it with the rhetorical questions.

"You don't know the half of it! Its you that has no idea!" I shouted, slamming my fist into the table.
I didn't need this right now. I had more important things to worry about.

She sighed and turned to Mikey.
"Mikey honey, what happened to you..." she said softly, glancing at his wrists.
"Oh yeah, be gentle with him..." I muttered

Ignoring me as usual, my mom continued to try and patronize my brother, just like she had before.

"Mikey if you don't talk to us, we don't know how to help you sweetie" she said
I saw Mikey clench his hands into fists and I shifted nervously in my chair.

"Mikey? We know you are going through a lot at the moment but if you talk about it, you will feel better" she harped on.
"Shut the fuck up! You don't know! You have no idea how fucking useless and worthless I feel! You don't! I love him! I love frank and he isn't mine and he is hurting and I can't heal him! That hurts me! It hurts more than being sick and stopping eating and dragging a blade through my worthless body! So don't tell me you know!" he screamed and ran out.

"Congrats mom and dad! You have really done it now!" I said and chased Mikey out, knowing he shouldn't be on his own.

I ran up the stairs and into Mikey's room, knowing he wouldn't answer if I knocked.
He was huddled on his bed, a shiny, metallic blade lying in front of him.
He stared at it, shaking and rocking back and forth, his knees pulled up to his chest.

"Mikey.." I whispered softly
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for you to find out like that, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" he muttered over and over in my direction.
"Its fine, you can't help it, you should have said that you were hurting so much, you are my brother, I love you Mikey" I said, holding him close to me and resting my chin on his head.

I waited until he had calmed down and lay him in his bed, moving the blade safely away from him and kissing his head lightly before leaving the room.

------------------------

A/N: wow! i updated rather quickly this time! go me. hope you like this little filler chapter....more drama to come, particularly with Frankie. i loved my reviews even if it was just 2. i replied to them both and thanks so much. more to come very soon ;)
xoxo Stazzia