FicWad

A/N--- This chapter is really short and really just a filler. Sorry but I needed the next part to be its own chapter. Things are going to leave fluff-ville after this chapter and get dramatic again. You're probably going to get really annoyed/pissed at me over the next few chapters too.

But know that I still love you.

xoxo Tabi

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Ch.26---- Can't Give Up ((Gotta Be Somebody Nickelback))

Frank's POV

"Shouldn't you be in the bed?" Ray asked as he walked into the room.

"Do you realize how incredibly boring and uncomfortable that damn thing gets?" I asked him as he sat on the edge of the bed. "I can only take it for so long."

"So you go sit on Gerard...?" Ray smiled some.

"I, for the record, have been trying to get him to stay in the bed but he won't listen." Gerard said and I scoffed a little. That was totally a lie. He tries maybe once a day and all he does is tell me to be in bed. He never really does anything. "I do." Gerard said in defense.

"No you don't." I replied. "Watch." I said to Ray as I attempted to get off Gerard; unsuccessfully. His arms were wrapped tightly around my waist and he held onto me as I tried to get off him; his arms pulling into my abdomen. I rested back against him and Ray rolled his eyes; still smiling. "See? He's trying real hard." I said sarcastically.

"Honestly, I don't care." Ray said. "It's good to see you two together again. Like it used to be." He said a little quietly. I didn't quite understand what he meant but I figured it had to do with the time before Gerard started, well you know. The days when I actually wanted to be held tightly by Gerard and feel him against me. "It's also good you've been eating."

"I have no choice." I told Ray with slight amusement. "Gee makes me."

"Hardly." Gerard said. "You've been eating on your own."

"Because I'm so fucking tired of being in this place. I want to be out of here before Christmas." I said miserably. I had a little over a month to go until Christmas. I've already been in here for two weeks; for Thanksgiving. "I want to go to a bar." I mumbled because I really do want a beer or something. It's been like a month.

"No you don't." Gerard told me sternly. "You don't need it." I laughed slightly because that was as ironic as something can get. Gerard, man who's blood I swear was alcohol, was telling me that I didn't need the substance. It's really funny.

"Are you in a good mood then?" Ray asked and I nodded. "Good because you won't be for long." I moaned at the fact that Ray wanted to kill the little happiness I've been able to obtain inside these awful white walls. "We're going to have a somewhat of a group therapy."

"Like what?" Gerard asked a little fearfully.

"You two, myself, Mikey, Bob, and Brian." Ray said with a slight sigh. "He called me and asked how we are doing. When I relayed the past year to him, he felt really bad because he knew we used to all be so close. Just like when we were on tour, Brian volunteered to proctor a group session amongst us five as we talk about our problems with each other and whatever else comes to our minds."

"I refuse to be near Michael." I told Ray coldly, crossing my arms across my chest.

"Well you're going to be." Ray said harshly back. "What happened between you two is on the top of the agenda to be worked out. We'll also discuss things that are bothering us," he looked directly at me now, "regardless of what they may be." There was a moment of silence before Ray spoke again. "I also thought we could talk about if there's a possibility of the band starting up again so we know if we need to start thinking about permanent residences and jobs."

"Keep Michael far from me." I told Ray with warning. "I'll kill him."

"Just don't look at him." Gerard said in a calming voice, his arms holding me a little tighter.

"Then it's settled." Ray said with a smile, standing up. "You'll be out of here by the weekend." Ray told me and I looked to him with shock. I hate when he knows things before I do. "Brian's flying in tomorrow and I'm going to let him stay at your place." I nodded absently. I love Brian so I didn't mind. "Bob's made arrangements to stay with us for the entire weekend. Since Frank's the only one left with an actual house around here, that's where we'll all stay."

"Oh joy." I said sarcastically.

"Gerard, Frank is your responsibility. Make sure he doesn't kill your brother and I'll do the same with Mikey." Great, now I have a babysitter. At least it's my sexy boyfriend. I think Gerard wants to kill Mikey as well so he won't hold me back too much. "I have to go clean your place and make sure there's food. I'll come back to get you two Friday."

"Bye." I told Ray with some joy because I was tired of listening to him.

"See ya." Gerard said as Ray disappeared from the room. "Who's Brian?" He asked me when Ray was gone. I laughed a little to myself turned to sit sideways on his lap.

"Brian was our band manager." I told him before pressing my lips against his because I can. "He's also a great guy and one of our best friends."

"Cool." Gerard replied before kissing me. "This should be an interesting weekend."

"It's nothing compared to what's coming up." I said miserably, my head falling onto Gerard's shoulder. "You have to settle things between you and Bert. This weekend will be nothing compared to that one."

"I'm not doing that alone." Gerard said and I could sense fear in his voice. I wondered what he may have remembered but decided not to ask. "I'm taking Ray with me because he can be very frightening." I laughed some more though Gerard was dead serious.

"Ray worries about us all." I said. "He's really sweet and kind; most days." Gerard managed to smile at that. "I'm sure Brian would help with that too." Gerard nodded and I began to play with the tube connecting my arm to the little IV bag. Gerard grabbed my hand and stopped me.

"Don't." He said calmly. "You could mess something up." I released the little tube from my hands and stared at the floor. "Do you still want to keep the band going?" Gerard suddenly asked me. "I don't remember it so I don't have much of a say."

"I miss doing shows but at the same time I don't." I admitted. I loved to play, but I didn't want Gerard to turn into the drunk abusive boyfriend I desperately clung to. "I miss being able to play my guitar the most."

"Why can't you play anymore?" Gerard inquired.

"It left me when I left you." I said quietly. I was able to play when Gerard hurt himself but who knows what brought that on. It was merely a fluke if you ask me.

"You should keep trying to play if you love it so much." Gerard was trying to say the right thing but he didn't really know what to say. I just nodded and smiled; happy he made an attempt. It meant he cared. "Do you want to lie down?" I shook my head. "If you're tired then rest." He said before kissing my head.

"Will you promise me something?" I asked Gerard.

"Depends on what it is." He told me.

"Will you promise not to let me go this time?" I lifted my head from his shoulder and looked him directly in the eyes. It was a hard thing for me to ask but I had to know. "I love you, I always have, but I need to protect myself this time. I need to know that before I let things get too far and too involved that you won't hurt me again. I hate to admit it but I know I can't take it again. I need you to promise me that you'll love me back and that when things get tough, you'll let me help you instead of you turning to alcohol and drugs. If you can't then I'll understand; we'll remain best friends. But for us to date and possibly one day more, I need to know that you'll work as much as me and that I'll be safe."

A few light tears ran down my face as I stared at Gerard. I didn't mean to cry but it came directly from my heart and I meant every word of it. I have to protect myself and save whatever glimpse of love I have left for the person who can promise me those simple requests. I want that person to be Gerard but only he can make that decision.

Gerard looked at me silently for a few minutes, absorbing everything I told him. He gently brushed away the few escaped tears then kissed my forehead, moving his arms from my waist to my back as he pulled me close to him. "I promise." Gerard whispered into my ear and I smiled as I shut my eyes, pressing my face into his shoulder. "I promise to love you and protect you like I should have all along. I want you to promise me though that you'll never allow yourself to get hurt by me again. The moment I hurt you, in any way, I want you to promise me that you'll leave me without looking back or trying to hold onto me. You can't let yourself get hurt anymore; by anyone. I'm going to fight to make sure I never hurt you but if I slip, I want you to promise me that you'll protect yourself and get far from me. I don't want you to let what happened before repeat itself." I took a deep breath and ran his words through my head. In a way he was telling me he didn't have confidence in himself, like he knew it would all happen again.

"I promise." I said almost silently, praying with all my heart that things won't ever repeat themselves and that Gerard, my Gerard, will stay with me and love me until the day we die hand in hand. I don't ever want to think about that promise again because I don't ever want to have to act on it. No matter what, I wasn't losing him again; not as long as I could help it.

I may have lied when I said I wouldn't let him hurt me again. For all I cared, he could kill me; just as long as it was him doing it.